chrismoyles.net
- Wed Feb 05, 2003 2:44 pm
#54792
thought id put these in the private section this time, the longer ones at the bottom are funniest
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson’s house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you’re in my son.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.
Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and
started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"
A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and
a female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
"Is Michael Jackson God?"
Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have
sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years
old.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more
allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make
him a priest.
Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson’s house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you’re in my son.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.
Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.
Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and
started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"
A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and
a female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
"Is Michael Jackson God?"
Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have
sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years
old.
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more
allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make
him a priest.
Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
