- Sat Feb 16, 2002 11:50 am
#4655
I'm going to step away ever so carefully from the Lesbian plotline and just lay down the law about my acting debut.
I'll sign up as the emotionally insecure, quirky character who has all the best one liners in the show and hence becomes the most popular character.
I will then demand increasing millions as the show begs to sign me up for another three seasons.
However due to the characters sudden downward drug induced spiral (courtesy of dealer next-door Everlast- come on we know the truth) I seek councelling from radio shrink Hoare and his sardonic younger brother Trash (who has secret crush on Kendrak, who's life revolves around coffee shops and six weirdo friends Poppy, Charmaine and Loz and their slightly thicker counterparts, Gaspode, Dr and Uglybob).
The Hoare will then advize my character to stowaway on a spaceship where I meet up with dysfunctional robot Benjo with his obsession with suction on hoovers and novelty comdom head, Ad Lynch an idiot with immaculate dresss sense and Chris Harris as a pathetic cowardly wannabe officer and.
After incredibly hilarious storylines which sadly go down the drain after the season seven the producers plot to kill my character by sending me back down to earth to live with my mother (Gordon the cromag) and idiot of a husband who keeps saying "Oh Betty"(Ben-Jammin). After more incredibly hilarious situations involving no doubt a beret, my character wanders outside an slips on BlackIce (no innuendo intended).
I retire to an island in the Bahamas and in the distant future someone makes a program about me in the 'Heroes of comedy' series.
I'm running out. So I'll think I'll stop now. Sorry I couldnt fit you all in, but I got bored.
I ain't vacuuming until they invent one I can ride on.