[magenta]

How do you think you know when a relationship is over?

Don't take the piss please, not in the mood for it tonight.

Thanks.




Need some sympathy & attention!

[Eddie]

Hard one, If you're talking about a relationship where you LOVE the other person then , ask yourself this......
Do you, on the majority of ocasions, want to be with that person? when you don't love spending time with that person more than doing anything else its not love, I'm pretty sure of that I.e when you get offers to a) go out with mates b) see your parter and you ALWAYS decide you'd rather see your mates then it's time to end it because its not love! In a good relationship you should always long to be with the other person. If you're talking about a purely sexual relationship and you're not even planning to stay with that person for life or a long time then thats a whole different story which I won'ta ttemp to answer................

Sorry if what I have said makes no sense at all because it does to me

[Stephen.]

Well here's two things that made me realise...
Your partner starts being more friendly rather than partnery if that makes sense
&
when you're together there are long periods of awkward silence!

[magenta]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

What's love, in the end? How do you know if you love someone? I say I do, but I don't know what I mean by it - I love them, but I'm not IN love maybe.

Haven't seen my boyfriend since last Sunday, the longest since we got together, he's gone back home for Christmas, & I haven't really missed him... had the best night out in a long time last night & yeah, maybe I'd rather go down the pub with my mates...

It's really difficult.

[magenta]

Yeah but people say that in time all relationships grow into friendships yeah? Look at your parents if they're still together, I bet they're not all lovey dovey, but then I don't want it to happen to mine at this age.

[Stephen.]

Well exactly. You wanna be friends for life but when you're young you're bound to want fun

[Eddie]

I'll tell you what love is to me. Forget all about sex and go right back to the first sexual thing you do together....Love is when you still get that toe curling feeling when you just kiss even after you'ev been together ages AND if you actually enjoy spending time getting to know them and their family and wish that you could be part of it because it's important to them. Love is also when you just relish every moment you're together and start missing ecah otehr the minute yopu're apart, and when I say missing, I don't mean really badly missing them, I just mean thinking of them, you know, they're always on your mind. I've only been with my current girlfriend for about half a year but already all the above applies and we're planning marridge and children etc. The difference might be that I have known my girlfrend for about 12 years and have been best mates with her for the last two.

[magenta]

It's just like the spark isn't there anymore I think. Which is hard.

I've never thought about marriage & kids with anyone, I'm not that kind of person though, I take things as they come rather than being like those women who plan their elaborate weddings from... birth!

I'm going bed in a minute to sleep on it but I will tell you the situation :

He basically gave up his job & family & has moved to where I live (a long way) to go to college & live here, spent all his savings on me & on living, been lovely, looked after me & cared for me in every way.

What the * can I do?

[Eddie]

Think VERY hard. VERY hard indeed

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Think VERY hard. VERY hard indeed

oh for gods sake somebody please.....

[Eddie]

what, I am actually trying to be helpful. She obviously has a big decision to make and one that shouldn't be taken lightly based on the situation Magenta has described

[magenta]

Thanks Eddie. : )

I have managed to confuse myself more than ever & make a total mess involving someone else as well who thinks that if I finish with my bf I will be doing it for him. I just wanna disappear out of everyone's site for a while till it allsorts itself out!

[Jonny Hoare]

You'rre asking a daniel beddingfield tribute act for love advice. You'll be asking Osama Bin Laden on how to fly next.

If there's no spark, then there's no fire. best to put a bucket of water over to fully extinguish the flame

[Gigglyboots]

Jonny come on, she was asking for anyones advice, lets not start this thread into you digging into eddie...again. Its not fair, its not funny, cos its a tricky situation.

[Gordon_the_Cromag]

I dont mean to be harsh but sounds as though theres nothing left, be honest with him ?

last year i went away skiing with my mates and had the best time ever and didnt think or miss my girlfriend and when i got back i broke it off with her.

[magenta]

I am trying so hard to be honest with him, it's really difficult. I said something along the lines of "You deserve someone who will care about you the way you care about them," (that line all women use, except I meant it!) & he said "I don't mind, you can't have it all."

!!!

So * it, I dunno, I'm going out with girlie mates tonight & I am gonna have a good time!

I just don't like hurting people.

[Funky Drummer]

I'd have to agree with Gordon....just from reading what's been said, it doesn't look like there's anything there, certainly not enough to base a relationship on.

You're probably better just leaving it to rest.

[Gigglyboots]

In a way it feels bad at the moment, but I mean its probably kindest for you both in the long term

[magenta]

I know that, but do you think he sees it that way?! This is pathetic - it's normally the other way round - bloke trying to dump his girlfriend where she reads everything he says wrongly & misinterprets all his hints. Am I a bloke in disguise?!

I have confused matters so much though.

I manage to make such a mess of everything!!

[Jonny Hoare]

Magenta finally admits, she's a bloke

[Adam]

jesus ed- alot there to take in. what i dont understand is when its over, why do your ex's waant to stay in contact with you 8 months later...

its over when you find someone else. simple.

another thing - tip if anyone is going to uni... dont leave a girl behind, it doesnt help when you finally to meet someone at your uni.. been there, done that..

[Jonny Hoare]

Absence makes the heart go wander.


I'm full of nuggets tonight

[Eddie]

This is supposed to be a heartfelt and serious thread Jonny and Adam, have some heart.

[bob_fleming]

Magenta

i know that you are going through a tough time, and i know it is tough because i have been there myself , but at the end of the day if you are not happy what is the point of carrying on with the relationship because you will be gradually feel worse, it seems selfish at first but it will be for the best, he will move on and so will you


Hope this helps

Cheers

James

[Sidders]

another thing - tip if anyone is going to uni... dont leave a girl behind, it doesnt help when you finally to meet someone at your uni.. been there, done that..

You say that, but I know of quite a few relationships that have survived the long-distance. 2 of my friends have been at seperate unis for over 3 years now and they're still going out.

Don't ask me for any advice though, try again in 10 years.