Essex Girl Jokes - chrismoyles.net forum

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Essex Girl Jokes#422151

By dimtimjim - Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:26 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 8:26 am #422151

I'm still cathcing up on the shows from my weekend away so have only just got Tuesdays show on..... Just got to the Essex girl jokes, shame they didn't have the proper punchlines read out, but I guess thats cos they weren't suitable!!

Anyone know any good ones?

My contribution:

Whats the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?

Only 1500 went down on the Titanic!

PS. Sorry Yuds, no offence intended to your kind!

I've actually met Chris n shook his hand. This fact is still causing slight issues in my trouser dept.... :wink:

Yudster wrote:Best post ever.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422152

By AndyJ - Thu Nov 11, 2010 9:17 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 9:17 am #422152

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the boots the Irish guy is wearing.

She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your boots 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it"

So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot"

"Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422154

By Boboff - Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:35 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:35 am #422154

An Essex girl walked into a bar, ouch, she said, and the Bar man asked, why the long face.... or was that a horse that did that, umm yeah, sorry.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422156

By dimtimjim - Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:36 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 10:36 am #422156

Why do Essex girls wear knickers?

To keep their ankles warm...

I've actually met Chris n shook his hand. This fact is still causing slight issues in my trouser dept.... :wink:

Yudster wrote:Best post ever.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422157

By Yudster - Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:11 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:11 am #422157

dimtimjim wrote:PS. Sorry Yuds, no offence intended to your kind!

None taken!

Charlalottie on Twitter wrote:Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Charlalottie wrote:Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422158

By dimtimjim - Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:19 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:19 am #422158

Whats the difference between an Essex girl and a bag of crisps?

You only get one bang from a packet of crisps.....

I've actually met Chris n shook his hand. This fact is still causing slight issues in my trouser dept.... :wink:

Yudster wrote:Best post ever.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422159

By AndyJ - Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:45 am

- Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:45 am #422159

What's the difference between an Essex girl and a fridge?

A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422245

By Bonanzoid - Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:32 am

- Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:32 am #422245

How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex?

Throws a brick at the lamp post.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422261

By Yudster - Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:40 pm

- Sun Nov 14, 2010 6:40 pm #422261

Bonanzoid wrote:How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex?

Throws a brick at the lamp post.

Wrong. She shuts the car door.

Charlalottie on Twitter wrote:Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Charlalottie wrote:Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422315

By Johnny 1989 - Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:25 pm

- Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:25 pm #422315

What's an Essex Girls Favourite Wine?

I Wanna go Lakeside

Sorry, poor joke

Regards, Johnny 1989

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Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422316

By Yudster - Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:56 pm

- Tue Nov 16, 2010 12:56 pm #422316

Well I do - but only because that's where Costco is!!

Charlalottie on Twitter wrote:Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Charlalottie wrote:Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Essex Girl Jokes#422320

By dimtimjim - Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:55 pm

- Tue Nov 16, 2010 2:55 pm #422320

Whats the difference between an Essex girl and a shopping trolley?

A shopping trolley has a mind of its own....

I've actually met Chris n shook his hand. This fact is still causing slight issues in my trouser dept.... :wink:

Yudster wrote:Best post ever.

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