Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
By Stimpy
#419523
Yudster wrote:One can often follow the other - if you have colitis, doctors are always trying to stick something up there.



Well they go up there once - basically once it's diagnosed then there's little use in going back up there - unless you have an odd doctor. Lack of pain that brings you to tears will tell you you're on the mend. Drugs try to keep it aside.

When they 'did' me I was relieved that there was a name for it - something was behind my pain.

I was also relieved it was a little c and not 'the' big C.
By Stimpy
#419524
"I know what colitis is, one of my friends at work suffers from it. I don't understand what it has to do in context though."

It's something that the gay and I shared. It;s in context because you said I didn't know any. We had lots of discussions.

"As I have already said, in my experience, the vast majority of males don't care. I reckon that if a guy came up to them and tried to stick the tongue down their throat, they might not be best pleased. That doesn't mean that they arn't accepting, understanding and are happy to let folk just get on with their lives. If a straight guy walked up to a straight girl and tried to do the same, she'd smack him in the face."

If a man and a woman walked hand in hand up a high street noone would bat an eyelid
If a man and a man 'ditto' I can assure you there will be lots of looks, stares, maybe some tutting, probably some nasty comments.
I suspect you are just very lucky. But you need to be realistic.


"Of course I know the kind of person you are talking about. The problem with your argument is that the "them" you refer to ARE the stereotype so of course they wont do much to change it. What you need to consider are the huge number of gay people who don't act like that. "

A good and important point - but again realistically most gays are more feminine than women - almost a mock femininity. But look at Gareth Thomas from the Welsh rugby team. And look at the responses when he came out.


"Another way to look at it - if you have a bunch of gay folk who don't act like the "limpy shouty sort" you speak of, what do you want them to do to dispel the stereotype? "

Perhaps stop marching up and down the street telling me to 'get used to it''?


"... and quite a few people were uncomfortable with either the points you raised or the way you raised them. Surely, Just cos this started when you replied to someone elses comment, it doesn't mean others can't question your point of view? Surely, in fact, you welcome the challenge to justify your opinion?"

Yes - I totally agree. You do it well. But those who call names and throw the 'h' word about is just another way of giving up.

" It is way too easy to use words like "homophobe" or "racist" etc just when there is a disagreement on a subject. I'm of the belief that if someone has a problem with gay folk, it doesn't mean they are homophobic, it just means they don't know enough on the subject to reach an informed decision. Hence why I'm continuing to talk about it. If you were just saying "gays should burn" then I would have walked away."

You are just showing a mature element to the argument - and to that I thank you. I'm not sure about the 'don't know enough' bit but then you'd probably expect me to say that

"Are you a repressed homo and your messages are simply a deep seated reaction to your self hate? If so, I'm here to talk if you need someone ;)"

Don't worry - you don't need to be my 'agony uncle! :-)

"
I think this kinda sums up my counterargument. You have been called a poof in the north therefore you assume that is where most of the homophobia must be. If you had been called a poof in Cornwall, you would have a different assumption. So, your experience has formed your judgement. "

Actually I am using the opinion of a yorkshire man that I know - and he explained that dragging the case on the wheels would lead to being taunted like that! That does not make him accurate but it's where I got the info from. All from how to carry a large bag!!!!

"I class myself as a fairly normal person. I work in an office, I go to the pub, I watch shite telly and I like pizza. (God knows why I'm using those examples as a definition of "normal" but anyways...). I don't see myself as a weird online nerd. Others might but that's for them to judge. Furthermore, As far as I understand them, most of the people on here are just yer normal day to day folk you will meet as you go about life. While I accept you are having this discussion online, I reckon we would be having the same chat in the pub if you had raised it there. "

This is going to sound odd but I would not say a homo was abnormal but I would say that homosexuality is abnormal. Do you see what I mean. I won't go into family production etc because that has been done to death before.

"You implied earlier this isn't a topic that comes up often with your friends."

No no no! If you check I said it *wasn't* something that would come up "but..." etc etc. Did I mistype? I'm good at that

" Maybe you should raise it and see what they think. However, if they agree with you then I refer to what I said earlier and maybe look at who your friends are. I guess what I am trying to say is that I admit that sometimes I can be wrong on a topic, but I really think that this time, it is you that is out of touch not us. I don't mean that in an antagonistic way, but I hope it might open your eyes a bit. Or your mind."

That's your opinion and I'm not going to attempt to change it. We will disagree. I can quote stats and you can counter them with real life stuff. Incidentally - please don;t remind me of going out - We have a 1 and a bit year old. End of social life. Bah.

((
boboff wrote:So is having something put in your bum.

This sounds like the voice of experience...))

That was someone else - talk about direct!


"Isn't homophobia the fear of Bart and Lisa's dad!" 8)

No-one is to diss the Simpson. Grrrr!

;-)
By Stimpy
#419528
foot-loose wrote:
DevilsDuck wrote:*watches as foots flounces out of the thread*

You'd love to watch me flounce.



What's all this got to do with an imperial unit of volume?

Are we writing a recipe?

(Apologies for very poor joke)
By Stimpy
#419530
foot-loose wrote:I've just realised I've already had this argument with Stimpy about a year ago. It's my annual "educate stimpy about tolerance" argument. Woopdedoo.


Hey that's far too presumptuous ! Although well spotted (the year thing).

In my defence it's not an education - people have opinions and in some cases both are right and/or wrong. "Is there a God" is another one.
My opinion is that Nulabour was far too gay friendly with all the hallmarks of hypocrite cherie (there's one to turn a 'normal'!) and lobbying and having such a large majority they could get away with it. I think being gay can be dangerous in more ways than non-gays. I believe it to be not natural and not normal.

Now - before anyone bites my head of with freshly polished ultra left teeth - I am talking about a group. Not individuals.
And by the way - I think it's not normal to be disabled - for example If you have one leg instead of two I would deem that 'not normal'. Labour never really got round to redefining the word normal. And they also didn't complete the picture by making my previous paragraph punishable by imprisonment (cue the soap/shower gag).
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By Yudster
#419541
You can cover up a lot of crap with semantics, but its still crap.
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By foot-loose
#419554
Stimpy, I aint gonna go through your response and answer each point, I respect you have your opinion and you justify why you have it. Oddly, I agree with some of your points (which concerns me somewhat).

I think the fundamental thing you need to understand is that being gay is not a choice. You might assume it is, but gay folk have as much of a choice of being gay as they do over how tall they are. We could get bogged down on the whole psychological argument, but no gay person I know sat down one day and went "oh, that looks fun, lets give that a shot!". Yes, there are aspects of the culture which I dislike and I feel does gay folk little favour, but that is seperate to them being gay. We would agree more often if you were to seperate the two.

If you accept that there isnt a choice in the matter, surely you accept that there should be an acceptance as well? To use your example, it's like shunning someone because they have a disability. Shun them if they are an arsehole, but not because of what makes them different.

To come back to where this started, having positive role models, like Aled, in popular culture, like on the Radio One Breakfast Show, can only be a good thing. Regardless of whether it's "normal" or not, there are young folk out there who will be terrified of who they are and have no control over their feelings. Exposing them, their friends, their parents and peers to "normal" examples of homosexuals will increase the chances of them being accepted and not shunned. On a broader level, exposing the general public, and encouraging these kind of discussions, will hopefully force people to learn about the subject. As I said earlier, when people know about both sides of the discussion, they can reach a more informed decision. I fail to see how that can possibly be a bad thing.

On a whole, I would say that this has already happened. I'm not saying there isn't still a stigma with the subject but as I've said a couple of times, in my experience, the vast majority of people accept the subject. I agree that if two guys start snogging in the middle of a football match in some local pub, they might attract some comments. That doesn't mean that people don't accept the principle, but yes, the level of acceptance is not the same as if a guy and a girl were in the same situation. Time will change that.
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By dimtimjim
#419555
Gotta mildy disagree foots. Someone I know is gay through being destroyed by a lady in earlier life, and vowing to never be put through that again..... That was not a 'born like it' thing, it was a life style choice. Although I understand where you are coming from, you cannot make it a blanket statement to cover all.

Although I still love you and am agrieved to remind you its your turn for the wet patch tonight...! :D
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By Yudster
#419556
I know a few women who have chosen a lesbian lifestyle for a variety of reasons too. But I wouldn't argue with anything foots said there.
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By DevilsDuck
#419576
dimtimjim wrote:Gotta mildy disagree foots. Someone I know is gay through being destroyed by a lady in earlier life, and vowing to never be put through that again..... That was not a 'born like it' thing, it was a life style choice. Although I understand where you are coming from, you cannot make it a blanket statement to cover all.

Although I still love you and am agrieved to remind you its your turn for the wet patch tonight...! :D


He was already gay, just didn't know it

Yudster wrote:I know a few women who have chosen a lesbian lifestyle for a variety of reasons too. But I wouldn't argue with anything foots said there.


They where already lesbians, just didnt know it

boboff wrote:Oh come on, we all know that Foots being gay is just an attention seeking thing........


We all know it
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By Nicola_Red
#419595
Stimpy wrote:If a man and a woman walked hand in hand up a high street noone would bat an eyelid
If a man and a man 'ditto' I can assure you there will be lots of looks, stares, maybe some tutting, probably some nasty comments..


My God, I'd hate to live where you live if it's really like that. If Manchester was like that then nobody would get anywhere for people queueing up on the street waiting to stare and tut. (Four out of the six people I'm in my office with right now are gay, and I'm bi, so that's four and a half before I even leave the room!) And they'd probably stare and tut at my tattoos and piercings while they were at it as well. I'm so glad I live in a generally positive, accepting community.
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By MK Chris
#419621
DevilsDuck wrote:
dimtimjim wrote:Gotta mildy disagree foots. Someone I know is gay through being destroyed by a lady in earlier life, and vowing to never be put through that again..... That was not a 'born like it' thing, it was a life style choice. Although I understand where you are coming from, you cannot make it a blanket statement to cover all.

Although I still love you and am agrieved to remind you its your turn for the wet patch tonight...! :D


He was already gay, just didn't know it

Yudster wrote:I know a few women who have chosen a lesbian lifestyle for a variety of reasons too. But I wouldn't argue with anything foots said there.


They where already lesbians, just didnt know it

Well that's one explanation, or maybe they're kidding themselves into thinking they're gay through bad experiences. I think there is a difference between having a gay lifestyle - which is a choice - and having being attracted to the same sex - which isn't.
By Stimpy
#419634
Yudster wrote:You can cover up a lot of crap with semantics, but its still crap.



Better to use toilet paper, I find.
By Stimpy
#419635
foot-loose wrote:Stimpy, I aint gonna go through your response and answer each point, I respect you have your opinion and you justify why you have it. Oddly, I agree with some of your points (which concerns me somewhat).


I'm so glad you said that - not because I dislike you or your posts but you know how things get - they get longer and longer and longer and before you know it you spend half an evening typing a response. Slight exaggeration but you know what I mean.

I'll take the bits you type that nudge my argue button and be brief in response.

"Choice/ let's give that a shot"
Elton (bleedin) john - married then turned
George Michael - according to Andrew Ridgely he tried to persuade him not to 'turn' - apparently he wanted more -after having as many ladies as he wanted.
Barrymore -turned gay - then turned back again! Although he's a freak.

I know the nurture/nature thing which remains unanswered I guess. And does the upbringing contribute? So many questions.

"Aled - positive"
I really think not. Plays the effeminate thing too much. I'd say a bad advert for gayness. V bad. Used to be ok - now plays it too much. Why can't I remember the rest of the teams' other halves but I can remember his? Frequency of use?

Your next point - I don't need to make people know that I'm 'normal' (my choice of word). No-one asks me 'are you gay/ not gay' - it's none of their business. Why would I advertise 'doing it' with my wife? I feel no need to do it. Let's all keep it to ourselves. People can 'find out' in a different way (like meeting a partner).

I really think that an opinion poll saying ' Do you think that being gay is normal ?' I can guarantee that it would be hugely biased. It's a 'hits the mark' question.

Or how about this one: Do you have a problem with gays? followed immediately with Would you be happy if your son was gay? That would really bring out the hypocrisy of citizens of nulabour britain.

By the way - you make very good points. It can be quite difficult to counter them - but my opinion is unmovable.
By Stimpy
#419636
Yudster wrote:I know a few women who have chosen a lesbian lifestyle for a variety of reasons too. But I wouldn't argue with anything foots said there.


Jeez - just imagine the household when they 'syncronize' and the hormones go bonkers!! 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O
By Stimpy
#419638
nicola_red wrote:


My God, I'd hate to live where you live if it's really like that. If Manchester was like that then nobody would get anywhere for people queueing up on the street waiting to stare and tut. (Four out of the six people I'm in my office with right now are gay, and I'm bi, so that's four and a half before I even leave the room!) And they'd probably stare and tut at my tattoos and piercings while they were at it as well. I'm so glad I live in a generally positive, accepting community.[/quote]


Lordy!
Firstly - you probably frequent 'gay friendly' areas.
Secondly - Your office - is it for a gay mag or something - the probability is almost not there!
By Stimpy
#419639
Topher wrote:
DevilsDuck wrote:
dimtimjim wrote:Gotta mildy disagree foots. Someone I know is gay through being destroyed by a lady in earlier life, and vowing to never be put through that again..... That was not a 'born like it' thing, it was a life style choice. Although I understand where you are coming from, you cannot make it a blanket statement to cover all.

Although I still love you and am agrieved to remind you its your turn for the wet patch tonight...! :D


He was already gay, just didn't know it

Yudster wrote:I know a few women who have chosen a lesbian lifestyle for a variety of reasons too. But I wouldn't argue with anything foots said there.


They where already lesbians, just didnt know it

Well that's one explanation, or maybe they're kidding themselves into thinking they're gay through bad experiences. I think there is a difference between having a gay lifestyle - which is a choice - and having being attracted to the same sex - which isn't.



I like that theory. It really makes a lot of sense. Good one.
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By dimtimjim
#419651
Look, can we move this thread back in the right direction...... Lets discuss lesbians more! Mmmmmm yeah! :D
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By Sidders
#419665
I don't believe that any straight person could 'turn' gay. I've had a tough time with women, but would never suddenly think 'I have no luck with women, let's try the men!'
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By Yudster
#419666
Sidders wrote:I don't believe that any straight person could 'turn' gay. I've had a tough time with women, but would never suddenly think 'I have no luck with women, let's try the men!'

I would have trouble believing that too. I often wonder if my women friends who have consciously chosen a "lesbian" lifestyle maybe dislike men more than they actively like women - I wonder how much of it is down to sexuality at all with them. Ah, who knows.
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By Latina
#419667
Isn't sexuality more complicated for women? There are some who have never been in love with another woman but can still be turned on by them sexually.

In which case, I'll bet it's easy for those straight women to experiment if they ever felt inclined to (and had the nerve), but it wouldn't be something they stick with, because ultimately it's not what they want in life. What I don't know is whether it's just easier for women to do that than men because there's less stigma involved, or whether there really is a gender difference there. I have to say I do know one straight lad (now happily married) who experimented on the other side once, but he was a teenager at the time and I'm not sure what the circumstances were.
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By Yudster
#419668
I do think that maybe women can be satisfied and fulfilled with a close, loving relationship with another woman irrespective of sexuality in a way that perhaps men might not be? And there are plenty of high-profile examples of men and women who have "thought" they were gay then ultimately "discovered" otherwise, like Mark Owen for one, Anne Heche for another - who knows what the reality there is.

But I don't think these people represent the groups we are talking about really. Do they? I'm now officially confused.
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By Boboff
#419671
Its the definition of a relationship, and also the behaviour and personality of the individual.

Why does being metrosexually "Camp" mean that you want to be satisfied sexually by a man.?

Why does having short hair, no tits and a panchant for denim and baseball caps mean you like to munch on rugs?

Or why does being a fat bald middle aged short sighted man of the clergy mean you like young boys?

Of cource none of these things is true entirely, but there is a possitive correlation to these facts, but surely if you look at it as cause and effect then you will see that....

A "camp" boy will be chromosically more female than male, and as such will prefer men sexually?
A "hard lesser" will be opposite and more attracted to women.
Fat bald men of the clergy will have probably been abused themselves and are just repeating a pattern of abuse.

A persons sexuality is the result of both "genes" the balance of XY etc, the stuff about men with small willy's only becoming a boy late on, and the girls with large flappy bits the other way around, women with beards, men with a full head of hair, the effect of personal relationships with men and women during their lives, all these things add to the mix and make the person who they are, who and how they choose to be satisfied sexually with, and who the choose to form relationships with, will change with time and circumstance, but will in general form in similar patterns, its where the variance deviates across the + / - divide that these changes can occur. If you take a standard deveancy of say 10 on a scale of -100 to + 100 most of us will sit in the normality ranges, but where people are at the ends of the normal distribution or as I say on the axis, that is where things get noticed.

As for Aled, he reads these threads, and as such I would say that he is a good producer, working in the media, trying his best, and trying to live his life. Aspects of all the teams personallity are exploited to entertain us, and as such to read any annoyance into mentions of these aspects would be daft.

However, "the only gay in the village" is only funny as it highlights an aspect of being gay which has a grounding in reality.

As I say, Foots only does it for the attention.
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By Munki Bhoy
#419672
dimtimjim wrote:Look, can we move this thread back in the right direction...... Lets discuss lesbians more! Mmmmmm yeah! :D


Seconded!

Sat and today are up