Always wanted to know something about the show? This is the place to 'Ask Aled'!
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By Stevo_trash
#40005
whilst my employer has underpaid me for the second month in a row, I have a drink problem and my career has hit a stumbling block......I shall find time in my heart to sob for your plight.

Wait till you have to get a job and pay the bills, then you'll know the meaning of getting upset. I thought the real world was going to be a warm a friendly place with green pastures and fragrant whiffs. Alas, I was most disgruntled to realise that it was a cold, dark comedy cul-da-sac that leads to to a grumpy bastard at the desk of the job centre.

*JOB DESCRIPTION*
Office Junior

Duties- typing a bit, filing paper, making coffee
Experience- Must have 60 years office experience, PGCEEGGRRREEE in 'I can read, start a computer and make a fine double moca latte' or equivilant

According to the fat hairy knob face at the dole office, his duties do not entail the conventional ones such as 'finding people jobs' but is in fact 'to act like high profile member of the royal family who just happens to be prime minister and the dahli all rolled into one'.

Me- 'I would like to apply for this job'
Twat- 'Do you have the experience required'
Me- 'No, but i know how to read and switch on a computer'
Twat- 'Your not properley qualified, the company is looking for someone with experience in this field'

Whilst I wouldn't diss someones job occupation, after all a job is a job....the duties of an office junior are hardly the most taxing of roles which requires years of training in a * japanese dojo. Are there office workers out there with so much experience in the art of filing and typing that they have been placed on par with the abilities of a secret agent. Is there a secret framework of office workers? Have the most experienced staff become '00' members intelligence? Do they get designated tasks to file bits of paper in....shock horror.....numerous filing cabinets? Do they get an invisible Bentley, a noise sensitive watch that ommits the native herefordshire cow mating signal and a deadly monsoon on a pole to undertake such complicated tasks?

I know realise that rather than studying and scouring through English civil war documents, if only i undertook a pcgebsehab in 'how to scan my arse using the photocopying machine' i would be far more employable.

Thanks a * bunch Tony, i would become the next Tory leader a beat your middle class world like the little bitch that it is if it wasn't for the political enviornment containing a bunch of * and those who suck them.
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#40017
make loads of money an become a plumber.
User avatar
By Tall Pall
#40023
what a come monkey
User avatar
By Sam
#40054
Sir Stevo, I humbly apologise for my selfish thoughts and I hope you will put it down to youthful innocence, certainly no offence was intended. But hey, look on the bright side, at least with your lack of money you can't afford to buy alcohol, thus curing your drink problem. Or alternativly, don't pay your internet bill and then you want have to listen to (watch?) me moaning about insignificant things. See, every cloud and all that... ;).

On a serious note, good luck in getting a decent job mate, who wants to be an office junior anyway? This is why I think its probably a better idea for me to do a vocational course at Uni, there are always jobs in midwifery going. Now theres an idea for you Stevo!
User avatar
By Sidders
#40073
I can't afford to buy food at the minute, alcohol has to take priority.
By Mercury
#40114
Hi Aled,
Do you have a middle name, and if so what is it? And, do you bite your nails?

Odd questions i know, but I'd really apreciate it because my mate's one of your biggest fans and she's been nagging everyone at school about you, and we think it would be funny if we knew something she didn't. We would of course tell her later...

Thanx
User avatar
By Uglybob
#40115
id doubt he would say what his middle name is. he wouldnt even give out his surname even though chris always says it. im in the small minority of the population that doesnt have a middle name, parents too lazy i suspect.
User avatar
By Sam
#40129
Could be worse bob, my middle names Dee.
User avatar
By Adam
#40132
uglybob wrote:id doubt he would say what his middle name is. he wouldnt even give out his surname even though chris always says it. im in the small minority of the population that doesnt have a middle name, parents too lazy i suspect.


yes- your parents were very lazy. usually your middle name is your dads first name. mines michael...
User avatar
By Lawrie
#40137
My middle name is David..much better than my Real first name...which is shit


Aled...What music do you like?
User avatar
By Uglybob
#40144
well my name is the same as my dads was. my sisters dont have middle names either
By David
#40149
DRLOZBAKER wrote:My middle name is David


Now that is a name

My middle name is Robert.
User avatar
By Gigglyboots
#40169
Mines is Louise...Its quite a common middle name, a few of my friends have it too.
User avatar
By Lawrie
#40178
my Proper first name is the same one of the England rugby player Dalliglio :oops:
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By Stevo_trash
#40205
ra ra ra less with the bulshit madam Hells angel. Whilst my financial situation is bollocks i can still afford to come online and post my views and feelings on the board. Since I have been here a while, have the most on air mentions my opinion holds a little weight and i'm sure my views were shared my quite a few.

Midwifery? Are you asking for a kick in the head? Very hilarious. Woman are already aware of my special skills involiving the vaginal area so why would i need to be properley qualified in it?

You all hate me but i love it in a parculiar way.
User avatar
By ASG
#40210
Nablo aint got a middle name either! Mine's John as I was named after a hairdresser in Worthing called Richard John! Ooooopppppssss! Now you only need to guess my last name! You never will!
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By Sidders
#40226
My middle name's Peter. I was named after a certain biblical chap.
User avatar
By ASG
#40230
My little brother's name is Siomn-Peter, but he doesn't have a middle name, unlike one of my best mates called Simon (whom I call Hamilton, as does he to me, oddly) who's middle name is Peter!
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By superwoman
#40232
the reason for me shortening my fiirst name is because it sounds posh! hence why charlotte is charl!(or to some ie. sam the hells angel, charlie)

any of those will do! my middle name is louise which is equally as posh so i only ever use it when im in a posh mood.

there we go, posh names are a pain especially when you live in a posh area and people are ignorant so rarely talk.
User avatar
By ASG
#40235
Same as Giggly then! Wow! Do you feel special? :)
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By ASG
#40264
No! For having the same middle name as someone in the top 20 with 5 stars!
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By Sam
#40279
I shorten my first name to Sam cos I hate the name Samantha, it too posh and I only ever get called it when I'm in trouble. Occasionly I get called Sammy and the family pet name is Sammy-antha (I know, don't laugh!) but never Samantha.
User avatar
By Gigglyboots
#40319
I wouldn't feel special...erm I have posted some notgood in my short time. But Louise, I do like, :)
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