[Console]

Yes, nothing wrong with pigeons...at all!

[catherine]

ahahahahaha! Console that is revolting.

[Console]

Maybe, funny though I thought.

[Sunny So Cal]

Hahaha! Console's artistic ability deserves a gold star but it also merits an "offensive content" warning and a disqualification for a lack of originality

[S4B]

Console I LOVE it!

[Andy B]

Hmm let's see. Yes I remember the Dick Darsatdly an Mutley in catch the pigeon and I laugh like
Mutley so that's why I can't stand pigeons.

I could probably find a load of quotes from people sayid pigeons are a disease carrying nuisance but as you've all gathered by now. Lazy.

Lastly I just don't like pigeons. They're a * nuisance! They fly around the place all lah di dah as if they own the sky and they're grey and dull and boring. They could at least have the decency to be brightly coloured like parrots and THEY can talk as well which is a double bonus as long as you don't mind having conversations that consist of "Ullo" and "pieces of eight!"

Plus they get under your feet and fly in your face and poo on you deliberately and maliciously as if it's a sport for them. They're probably all in the pubs right now comparing notes on who flee in who's face and who crapped on a Porsche Boxter and whether or not it counts as a real Porsche or not. Bastards the lot of em! What good do they do? Nothing!

Pigeons! Huh! Good god ya'll! What are they good for? Absolutely nothin! Say it again now!

Them and bloody foxes, annoying creatures that they are they're both too smug for their own good if you ask me and should be wiped out.

[Sunny So Cal]

You laugh like Mutley???
"Smug"? Coming from the man who wants to rule the world? *ahem*
Not all pigeons are boring grey. They are basically doves so they come in white, brown, etc and most have those gloriously irridescent neck feathers. Like hummingbirds! Think of them as flying jewels.
And Porsches deserved to be crapped on so their owners have to take one foot off the pedal and the other out of their arse long enough get out of their car & clean it off. Then, according to the Rules & Regulations of Pigeon Shit Shooting, the birds get a bonus point if they hit the pillocks while they're out of the car. It gives them something to brag about in the pigeon pub that night.
Don't start on foxes, Andy, they're lovely!

[MK Chris]

Parrots don't talk per se, they mimic.

[foot-loose]

Parrots don't talk per se, they mimic.

This reminds me of one of my mums mates. She went to buy a parrot but there was only one left in the pet shop. The guy in the pet shop told her that the reason it hadn't sold was because it used to live in a brothel and it's language was a bit fruity for most folk. Mum's mate said that didn't bother her (she is quite a liberal woman) but she would want it for half price.

So she takes the parrot to his new home. Once he gets inside he suddenly squawks "Well f*ck me, a new brothel and a new whore!" Mums mate tries not to laugh and shouts at the parrot - telling him that she is not a whore and her house was certainly not a brothel. Then her daughters arrive home from school. As soon as they walked in the door the parrot pipes up again "F*ck a doodle doo - a new brothel, a new whore and a couple of extra prostitutes as well!".

Again, mums mate shouts at the parrot but the girls think this is the best invention ever. They sit down and wait for their dad to come home. Eventually, they hear the car pulling into the driveway and in he walks. Obviously the parrot starts up for a third time "Oh fur f*cks sake, a new brothel, a new whore, some prozzies but the same old clients! How ya doin' Dave?"


True story.

[MK Chris]

That's correct Topher.

I know it is.

However, this particular parrot is a bit further advanced than most!

True story.

Billy bullshitter.

[foot-loose]

Two parrots on a perch. One says to the other "Do you smell fish?".

[nade]

haha, speaking of parrots....
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRhvUJIwbV0][/youtube]

[kendra k]

playing oasis songs in rockband last night was fun. mr kk reallly hates "live forever", so i had to play it a bunch. i was also successful in my sing and "play guitar" experiment in the game.

[foot-loose]

Hahahahaha

Nade - that parrot is GENIUS. A Scottish swearing parrot - brilliant! Comes complete with such phrases as "aw fur f*cks SAKE!" "Sup?" "I'll kick your baws!" and "Turn that aff, boy!.

Fantastic.

[Andy B]

I've had a pretty crappy day but it started great.

Today in my missus office they all had to bring in a home baked cake to sell slices of it to each other or something with the money going to charity. Well she's not exactly at home in the kitchen. She's not even illegally in a squat in the kitchen. However she slaved away for hours mixing and baking a cake made to her own "recipie". It was a sort of chocolate sponge thing with strawberry ice cream sauce on top and time out bars (I know ok. I have to live with her!).

Any hoo she spent hours making this and then went to bed after covering it with an upside down mixing bowl. I got in late last night and saw it. I hid the cake in a cupboard and messily left a load of crumbs from a chocolate muffin on the plate instead. I also got a big knife and cut into the muffin so it was stained with chocolate by the side. I then wrote a "Thank you" note for her saying it was delicious and just what I needed after a hard day at the office.

When she came diwnstairs I made sure I was in another room when she discovered it. I think the whole street heard her and now knows my full name! She saw the funny side of it eventually.

Oh one for lovers of karma, she ran over a pigeon while reverse parking at work today and while everyone else's cakes were gone within minutes. By 5pm she had sold 1 slice and that was left half eaten. Coincidence, fate, or just really blind pigeons and awful cooking?

[foot-loose]

Andy - that is the first post I have actually laughed out loud to this year. Well done.

[Vivienne]

Pigeons are vermin and should not be fed and encouraged to loiter in stations

O, for goodness sake, Chris! There were only about half a dozen of them. You should see the squares in Florence for pigeon activity: there are hundreds, and they come and sit on your arms, and everything!!

[Vivienne]

ps: observe my new signature!! Great, E, people?

[S4B]

True story.

I thought this was a banned phrase.

[Vivienne]

Making me smile is the fact that "only questions" topic has been locked. Talk about wasting space & energy. Jesus.

[S4B]

I think Console is a meanie! Just cos he couldn't think of a question! Bah

[Vivienne]

Console is a ray of sunlight.

[Vivienne]

I guess you have a point too, Charla!!

[S4B]

No surprises there that Viv thinks Console is God's gift. Also I find it slightly ironic that Viv found a topic "wasting space & energy". No offence Viv but that one was better than some of yours you've come up with in the past.

I think you mean MOST of Viv's posts.

[Andy B]

Are we back to talking about breasts again?

That's making me smile!