Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By S4B
#322908
No photographic evidence and you really wouldn't want to see if there was, I think Andy might though!
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By Andy B
#322910
S4B wrote:No photographic evidence and you really wouldn't want to see if there was, I think Andy might though!

Hang on, are you implying that i'm some sort of internet perve who gets his kicks out of people's drunken misfortune?
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By S4B
#322911
Andy B wrote:
S4B wrote:No photographic evidence and you really wouldn't want to see if there was, I think Andy might though!

Hang on, are you implying that i'm some sort of internet perve who gets his kicks out of people's drunken misfortune?


Moi?
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By Andy B
#322914
Mr Humpy, don't remember that Roger Hargeaves book? - S4B look it up for me will you!
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By S4B
#322915
It's a top shelf Mr Man book and Lottie has the only copy in existance I'm afraid
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By Andy B
#322923
Ok now I definately don't want to know....
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By Boboff
#322936
big ffaaaat hairy bollllllllllllllllllllllllllllpcks, I come on ere piised to see whoose sheeeeeese bin shagin, and I get this shhhhhhiiiiiiiite, fffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.


I don't like this much.
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By Sunny So Cal
#322956
awww bob, bless your little cotton socks
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By Yudster
#322970
S4B wrote:Because you will all find it cathartic. Also I'm a bit cross as my bonus is a grand less than I thought it was going to be so I need cheering up. You'd only be disgusted with me anyway Topher. Yuds told us hers.


Oh that one wasn't even close. There's the one when the three blokes I had gone to Leeds with for a Rolling Stones gig the following day abandoned me in a pub with some bloke who had told me I had nice teeth and went back to our B&B in Harrogate without me, and I didn't even know where I was, let alone Harrogate. Or there's.......no, you wouldn't want to know.
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By Vivienne
#322976
Whilst sozzled (after only one glass, I will add, of red wine), I was out on a blind date with a humourless individual. I needed to go to the loo, and I attempted to open the loo door from the wrong side.

Joiners had been in that morning, and next thing the entire door just came off, and fell on my head. A guy came running round to see if I was OK. I was. I was under the door, laughing my head off. He got the door off me, I told the story to the date I was with, who didn't find it funny, informed me there would not be a second date, and offered to escort me to the railway station. I got on the train, sat muttering to myself... off we went, I missed my stop, and had to pay £10.00 for a taxi to get me back home again. Not a good night. :-(
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By Andy B
#322984
I was DJing at a venue that was having a "*" night where for the first 2 hours the only drinks available were these * of various strength mixed in big plastic dustbins. At the end of the two hours the bar had to switch back to regular drinks so all the remaining * were poured into one bin and given to the staff who had worked that night. I'd already had about 6 (minimum 3 shots in each) and gorged myself on more super strength *.

Got chatting to this girl I'd met at the previous party where I'd found her purse, she said she wanted to "thank me properly" so turned the decks over to my assistant and told him I'd be back in half an hour. As we started getting "intimate" in a quiet, private corner of the VIP section (which was closed off to the public) when all the alcohol I'd consumed suddenly hit me like a wall and I felt a wee bit ill and dizzy.

I told her I needed to inform my boss I was just on a break and to wait there for me. I could feel the contents of my stomach tryinig to re-create that scene from the exorcist as I hurried to the loo. Just managed to throw myself into a cubicle with only minimal spillage. After that things get a bit hazy....

I remember the bouncers kicking the door down and dragging me outside and throwing me to the steps and the next thing I know it's ten past two in the morning, everyone is spilling out and the bouncer says I am allowed in to pick my records up but I must leave straight away afterward....

Apparently my mate did a great job of DJing although he was papping himself as he'd never played to such a large audience on his own before and one of my other mates who'd been working the bar came out and told the bouncers who I was so that's why they didn't stamp on my face when they threw me outside!

I never did get to see that girl again......
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By Sunny So Cal
#323126
We had tickets to a sold out Scorpions concert, 3rd row center. I was fairly tipsy and all dressed up (including a brand new pair of boots - very salient point). Well we took a limo to the concert and I drank and drank. Entering, I thought I was pretty hot shit because sitting that close you get your own private entrance, etc. We 4 come walking down and the house lights are on in front of a sold-out crowd. The opening band is done and the lights are flickering to let you know that the Scorpions are about to come on. We are just walking below the stage and of course everyone is looking because the lights will go out momentarily. Then BAM my new boots are so slippery that I slide out and literally land on my arse in front of the entire arena. As if that wasn't humiliating (and painful) enough we get to our seats and I find that 3 of my ex-boyfriends are at the concert...together...sitting 2nd row center...directly in front of us...and my current boyfriend (who is now my husband) sat there chatting to them. Of course they saw the fall. The whole bloody arena saw the fall. I wanted to die. I never drank that type of beer again. It was associated with mortification.
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By Andy B
#323139
Scorpions? *keeps quiet*

I'd blame the boots rather than the booze.

MY mates and I went to see Korn (yes yes I know I've just criticised Scorpions but he GAVE me the ticket as he had no-one else to go with) - He drank half a litre of whisky at home first, got to the venue, went to the loo while I stayed watching, he threw up and passed out and missed the whole bloody gig.

Scorpions though?
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By Sunny So Cal
#323151
It was a loooooong time ago...in a galaxy far, far away
Korn though?
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By S4B
#323186
Andy B wrote:Scorpions? *keeps quiet*

I'd blame the boots rather than the booze.

MY mates and I went to see Korn (yes yes I know I've just criticised Scorpions but he GAVE me the ticket as he had no-one else to go with) - He drank half a litre of whisky at home first, got to the venue, went to the loo while I stayed watching, he threw up and passed out and missed the whole bloody gig.

Scorpions though?


Nothing wrong with the Scorpions!
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By Andy B
#323209
Sunny - I said I was GIVEN a ticket by my mate cos no-one else wanted to go.

S4B- I know that and so do you. But SHHHH! I'm trying to be cool and blend in with "the kids"! Ur one of the only people close to my age. There are kids on here now and they use words and terms I don't understand!
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By Sunny So Cal
#323214
Well don't be absurd. I didn't pay for mine either. That's what my boyfriend was for! But I did like the Scorpions and still like some of their songs. And I count that evening as drunk stupidity or footware failure.
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By Andy B
#323228
Wardrobe malfunction?
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By timp
#323410
My drunk stupidity cosnsists of being sick in bedrooms and living rooms to the disgust of my mates. (Very cathartic thanks s4b)