[Vivienne]

I bought a magazine at lunchtime, and found these great jokes in it, so here is the first joke thread of 2008:-


1. A tiger climbs onto the back of a dog. The dog says, "Don't hold on too tight". The tiger replies, "There's no claws for concern".

2. The lamb says to the lion, "Where are the witch and the wardrobe?" - The lion replies, "Would ewe stop chewing my ear!"

3. The black sheep says to the piglet, "What do you mean? Have I any wool?" The piglet replies, "Mum's knitting me a black jumper".

[MK Chris]

So where are the highly amusing jokes?

[Vivienne]

er... they are the ones above.

[Ezza]

I only understood one of them... I feel stupid.

[Zoot]

Viv, did you come up with these yourself?

[Vivienne]

No, I said they were in a magazine. I had tears running down my face when I read them. So funny.

[MK Chris]

er... they are the ones above.

...but they're not highly amusing.

[Bruvva]

No, I said they were in a magazine. I had tears running down my face when I read them. So funny.

Which magazine was it?

[Yudster]

They are not even good enough for Christmas crackers. Really they aren't at all funny.

[Vivienne]

It's the "Shout"... there was something I wanted to read in it.

[Bruvva]

It's the "Shout"... there was something I wanted to read in it.

As long as you didn't buy it for the jokes...

[Zoot]

are they exactly how they are written down? They're just very strange for jokes, they don't even make sense. Are you srue they aren't your 'interpretation' of them, and you've kind of missed the point?

[Vivienne]

No, I'm pretty much quoting. There are pix beside the jokes, which made me laugh all the harder.

[Zoot]

so they are comic strips?

[Vivienne]

well, no, there were actual pix of live animals talking to each other.

[Zoot]

well, no, there were actual pix of live animals talking to each other.

You see, thats like listening to 'You've Been Framed' without actually watching the screen
Kind of missing the point.

[ladbroke]

I bought a magazine at lunchtime, and found these great jokes in it, so here is the first joke thread of 2008:-


1. A tiger climbs onto the back of a dog. The dog says, "Don't hold on too tight". The tiger replies, "There's no claws for concern".

2. The lamb says to the lion, "Where are the witch and the wardrobe?" - The lion replies, "Would ewe stop chewing my ear!"

3. The black sheep says to the piglet, "What do you mean? Have I any wool?" The piglet replies, "Mum's knitting me a black jumper".

Holy crap don't buy that shitty magazine again. Please tell me you posted them just to get the attention/abuse of everybody saying how bloody awful they are?

[Vivienne]

Er, no, I wasn't wanting the attention. I thought they were great, and others would find them equally amusing.

[MK Chris]

Please tell me you posted them just to get the attention/abuse of everybody saying how bloody awful they are?

I think this is a tactic used by Viv on a regular basis.

[Vivienne]

that's horrid, tophs! I guess this is where the saying, "One man's meat is another man's poison may come from". My English teacher used to say that you shouldn't necessarily use humour in essays, for example, because of individual points of view on what is/is not funny.

[MK Chris]

I just find it hard to believe (taking this case as an example), not particularly that anyone would find them slightly amusing (if only for how pathetic they are), but that anyone could say they had "tears running down my face when I read them".

One man's meat is another man's poison

I do agree with that, in fact, I've used it myself.

[ladbroke]

Er, no, I wasn't wanting the attention. I thought they were great, and others would find them equally amusing.

Would look like mission accomplished seeing as the thread is on page 2. Attention Successfully gained. Look at me , look at me...

[foot-loose]

*sighs*

I knew as soon as I read the title and the author that this was going to be a worthwhile thread for all the wrong reasons and how right I was.

Viv, my darling...

My English teacher used to say that you shouldn't necessarily use humour in essays

That had me laughing out loud - your english teacher is my new favourite person. Tact-tastic.

[Sunny So Cal]

hahahaha that was the best quote!
Viv, had you been freely imbibing milk when you read these jokes?

[Yudster]

I think your English teacher may have known you rather better than you realised Viv. That was good advice for you.