chrismoyles.net
- Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:28 pm
#315082
SERIOUS FILM IDEA FOR CHRIS MOYLES+TEAM
Banished: Moyles on Mars/Antarctica/Siberia/A crap island somewhere
(The original idea was for Mars, but it doesn't matter where, his career's in ruins and he's stuck somewhere with hardly any listeners)
Outline/Abstract
It's the year 2015 or thereabouts and Moyles and his crew have been banished to a Mars outpost by BBC Radio One due to increasing tensions with Radio One management. Moyles' repeated refusal to comply with an increasingly politically correct earth has led to his unfortunate dismissal. Life is good on Earth in 2015 and Moyles is annoyed that he's been posted to this newly terraformed colony, which only has half a billion people on it. Not only that, but the rest of his team are angry that they too had to give up cushy earth positions and are stuck with him in a cramped studio until their contracts run out sometime in the 2020's. Everyones in a bit of a bad mood and the strain's beggining to show.
Chris' show can still be heard on Earth and he gets into frequent heated conversations with his dwindling band of hardcore listeners in England who love to taunt him about his demotion to the Mars/Siberia wherever outpost. He's allowed to swear and talk about controversial subjects because Radio One management just don't care any more. Ant and Dec have taken over the breakfast show and their brand of sacharrine shite is really popular on earth 2015. Moyles has only got about 50,000 listeners left on earth, most of them in Leeds and Liverpool, because most people have grown out of his childish nonsense and inane studio games. It's written into his contract as an OFCOM punishment that he has to have an hour of phone ins every week- Open Hour with Chris- and he's not allowed to cut people off if they get the better of him. This is the worst part of his week. On Earth he could just cut them off but here on Mars he's got to go toe to toe with them live on air otherwise his show gets cut completely and he has to work down the Martian Salt mines (or whatever). Dominic really can't stand Chris any more and lets the most vicious people on air, and just sits back and smirks as it gets really bitter.
Chris has lost the use of his legs months ago and has to move around on an electric car like Davros. Sometimes the battery runs out and he is left impotently squawking and pushing at the joystick while he waits for comedy Dave to come and push him. Dave is now more of a carer than an affable sidekick and even he's beggining to hate Chris.
Cash
We already have small investment and some credit cards and can get a test movie online for a couple of grand.
Plot
We need a flimsy pretext to hang this all on...
Chris's lush Hungarian girlfriend has moved to the newly formed Venus colony, which Chris could never get to. It's full of the most beautiful and lovely people from earth. His visa application was rejected out of hand. His only hope is to squeeze aboard one of the emergency pods of the Khunt Spice freighter when it sets off for Venus in three months time. Can he lose sufficient weight in time?
Production Quality...
Visuals
We have two Panasonic DVX's. The same cams that were used to make Iraq in Fragments. Better than the ones used on Borat and 28 Days Later. Got 3 PC's and 2 Macs post production facilities between us. We're looking to get Sony PMW's.
Audio
We have the facilities to build a thick Martian soundscape. Also used to listen to John Peel so I know exactly what they'd listen to on Mars...Labradford, Oval, Ventian Snares, Main, Autechre, Godspeed you Black Emperor etc.
Script
We have a few ideas for one liners and big scenes etc. But we're looking mainly to record 40-50 hours of audio of the team jabbering and simply cut the best 45 minutes to use as the bulk of the film. Just talk as normal and we'll find the continuity later...
We want to shoot as if it was a radio play, and then do the visuals later. The team can sit in a normal studio in normal clothes. After we have the audio play synced then we can work on some costumes.
Later, to stop it being just an extended episode of the show, we can add some proper scenes to stitch the film together and provide continuity and sequence.
Question: How do we stop the film being crap?
Most of yr television ventures have not been runawy success, Chris, if you don't mind us saying so, cos you've got to be extra nice for TV. You can do what you like on this film cos you'll have full creative control. We'd like a 15 or 18 cert.
Audience Interaction
There's obviously going to be a few moments when talking in the studio doesn't work. So during recording sometimes, we're hoping to have phone in's. We have the equipment. Only this time let them speak on air... Yep sometimes it'll be unfunny awkward shite others really good... Our plan is to record 50/50 drunk/sober so eventually something will be good.
Questions...
What's food like in this new place?
What sort of music does he play in Mars 2015?
Whats in the Top Ten?
What is there to do at the weekend?
Is there a Martian football league, where all the burnt out premiership players go?
How do people travel around?
What are politicians like?
What about all the day to day differences? All the things you take for granted on Earth that are different on Mars.
What is gravity like?
Whats romance/sex like on Mars..
What sort of inventions are there?
Features
I'm sure the team can think of loads of features for the show but we have some if you're interested.
The main thing would be based on Earth people asking questions about Mars and Chris slagging them off when he gets wound up...
Shooting the film and projected costs (and getting the money back)
Filming Stages
ONE
10 hours of pilot recording...
2 hours of Earth Cam
3 hours of auditions of potential love interests. At least 100 audition videos to choose from.
(And no Chris you can't do the casting yourself
A big queue of mainly Scouse and Brummie comedians ready to call him and wind him up during recording.
Loads of John Peel type Martianesque songs, which he plays (and hates)
And the begginings of a dense Martian soundscape.
Lots of ideas and script fragments for him and the team to bounce off.
Test reel of visuals.
TWO
Beggining of sets (We could shoot a lot in Cyberdog in Camden)
A denser soundscape
Sequencing of the teams video diaries into something sellable, a downloadable "making of" package.
THREE
The big scenes in the can. I.e. the escape scene and a few other scenes to stitch it together.
At the very least we could have a decent radio play ready by January.
We'd like to release it in March.
Distribution
Just give it away on Google video to every listener for free... Simple. At least 7 million people will watch it.
Funding
In order to recoup the cost and possibly make a massive profit a downloadable extras package could be offered. For 5 pounds people could download:
Outtakes,
Deleted scenes,
Making of,
Cast interviews...
This package could be 4-5 hours long. Chris could bang on about it on the show until people bought the package. I don't know if he's allowed to under BBC licensing laws but I'm sure there could be a way. People could even pay with a premium text. If only 4000 people bought the package the project's broken even.
Translations- Worldwide
We have contacts all over the world, and would love to release versions in Japan, China, South America, Russia...
We could delete any of the really England specific jokes for an international version. We have friends in a massive translation agency in the Czech Republic, each foreign language version could be produced and subtitled for a hundred pounds or so.
Production Rights
Produce with private money and retain total creative control. No interference from the suits man.
We have loads more idea, including a part for LBC's James O'Brien. But we won't continue more unless yr interested.
Who are we- Whats our track record...
Nothing so far. Got some other much bigger pitches going on.
Chris and the team have final cut editorial control so if it didnt work that it could be shelved and they've only lost 10 hours of their lives.
We'd at least have a cute test movie by Christmas, which could be shown to friends and family.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EDIT: I seem to have annoyed a mod, it wasn't what I set out to do. I'm just writing stuff for a laugh. We have a load of other pitches out. I just put this up to see
how people would respond..................................... I cut the last stuff out have a good day.....................
Banished: Moyles on Mars/Antarctica/Siberia/A crap island somewhere
(The original idea was for Mars, but it doesn't matter where, his career's in ruins and he's stuck somewhere with hardly any listeners)
Outline/Abstract
It's the year 2015 or thereabouts and Moyles and his crew have been banished to a Mars outpost by BBC Radio One due to increasing tensions with Radio One management. Moyles' repeated refusal to comply with an increasingly politically correct earth has led to his unfortunate dismissal. Life is good on Earth in 2015 and Moyles is annoyed that he's been posted to this newly terraformed colony, which only has half a billion people on it. Not only that, but the rest of his team are angry that they too had to give up cushy earth positions and are stuck with him in a cramped studio until their contracts run out sometime in the 2020's. Everyones in a bit of a bad mood and the strain's beggining to show.
Chris' show can still be heard on Earth and he gets into frequent heated conversations with his dwindling band of hardcore listeners in England who love to taunt him about his demotion to the Mars/Siberia wherever outpost. He's allowed to swear and talk about controversial subjects because Radio One management just don't care any more. Ant and Dec have taken over the breakfast show and their brand of sacharrine shite is really popular on earth 2015. Moyles has only got about 50,000 listeners left on earth, most of them in Leeds and Liverpool, because most people have grown out of his childish nonsense and inane studio games. It's written into his contract as an OFCOM punishment that he has to have an hour of phone ins every week- Open Hour with Chris- and he's not allowed to cut people off if they get the better of him. This is the worst part of his week. On Earth he could just cut them off but here on Mars he's got to go toe to toe with them live on air otherwise his show gets cut completely and he has to work down the Martian Salt mines (or whatever). Dominic really can't stand Chris any more and lets the most vicious people on air, and just sits back and smirks as it gets really bitter.
Chris has lost the use of his legs months ago and has to move around on an electric car like Davros. Sometimes the battery runs out and he is left impotently squawking and pushing at the joystick while he waits for comedy Dave to come and push him. Dave is now more of a carer than an affable sidekick and even he's beggining to hate Chris.
Cash
We already have small investment and some credit cards and can get a test movie online for a couple of grand.
Plot
We need a flimsy pretext to hang this all on...
Chris's lush Hungarian girlfriend has moved to the newly formed Venus colony, which Chris could never get to. It's full of the most beautiful and lovely people from earth. His visa application was rejected out of hand. His only hope is to squeeze aboard one of the emergency pods of the Khunt Spice freighter when it sets off for Venus in three months time. Can he lose sufficient weight in time?
Production Quality...
Visuals
We have two Panasonic DVX's. The same cams that were used to make Iraq in Fragments. Better than the ones used on Borat and 28 Days Later. Got 3 PC's and 2 Macs post production facilities between us. We're looking to get Sony PMW's.
Audio
We have the facilities to build a thick Martian soundscape. Also used to listen to John Peel so I know exactly what they'd listen to on Mars...Labradford, Oval, Ventian Snares, Main, Autechre, Godspeed you Black Emperor etc.
Script
We have a few ideas for one liners and big scenes etc. But we're looking mainly to record 40-50 hours of audio of the team jabbering and simply cut the best 45 minutes to use as the bulk of the film. Just talk as normal and we'll find the continuity later...
We want to shoot as if it was a radio play, and then do the visuals later. The team can sit in a normal studio in normal clothes. After we have the audio play synced then we can work on some costumes.
Later, to stop it being just an extended episode of the show, we can add some proper scenes to stitch the film together and provide continuity and sequence.
Question: How do we stop the film being crap?
Most of yr television ventures have not been runawy success, Chris, if you don't mind us saying so, cos you've got to be extra nice for TV. You can do what you like on this film cos you'll have full creative control. We'd like a 15 or 18 cert.
Audience Interaction
There's obviously going to be a few moments when talking in the studio doesn't work. So during recording sometimes, we're hoping to have phone in's. We have the equipment. Only this time let them speak on air... Yep sometimes it'll be unfunny awkward shite others really good... Our plan is to record 50/50 drunk/sober so eventually something will be good.
Questions...
What's food like in this new place?
What sort of music does he play in Mars 2015?
Whats in the Top Ten?
What is there to do at the weekend?
Is there a Martian football league, where all the burnt out premiership players go?
How do people travel around?
What are politicians like?
What about all the day to day differences? All the things you take for granted on Earth that are different on Mars.
What is gravity like?
Whats romance/sex like on Mars..
What sort of inventions are there?
Features
I'm sure the team can think of loads of features for the show but we have some if you're interested.
The main thing would be based on Earth people asking questions about Mars and Chris slagging them off when he gets wound up...
Shooting the film and projected costs (and getting the money back)
Filming Stages
ONE
10 hours of pilot recording...
2 hours of Earth Cam
3 hours of auditions of potential love interests. At least 100 audition videos to choose from.
(And no Chris you can't do the casting yourself
A big queue of mainly Scouse and Brummie comedians ready to call him and wind him up during recording.
Loads of John Peel type Martianesque songs, which he plays (and hates)
And the begginings of a dense Martian soundscape.
Lots of ideas and script fragments for him and the team to bounce off.
Test reel of visuals.
TWO
Beggining of sets (We could shoot a lot in Cyberdog in Camden)
A denser soundscape
Sequencing of the teams video diaries into something sellable, a downloadable "making of" package.
THREE
The big scenes in the can. I.e. the escape scene and a few other scenes to stitch it together.
At the very least we could have a decent radio play ready by January.
We'd like to release it in March.
Distribution
Just give it away on Google video to every listener for free... Simple. At least 7 million people will watch it.
Funding
In order to recoup the cost and possibly make a massive profit a downloadable extras package could be offered. For 5 pounds people could download:
Outtakes,
Deleted scenes,
Making of,
Cast interviews...
This package could be 4-5 hours long. Chris could bang on about it on the show until people bought the package. I don't know if he's allowed to under BBC licensing laws but I'm sure there could be a way. People could even pay with a premium text. If only 4000 people bought the package the project's broken even.
Translations- Worldwide
We have contacts all over the world, and would love to release versions in Japan, China, South America, Russia...
We could delete any of the really England specific jokes for an international version. We have friends in a massive translation agency in the Czech Republic, each foreign language version could be produced and subtitled for a hundred pounds or so.
Production Rights
Produce with private money and retain total creative control. No interference from the suits man.
We have loads more idea, including a part for LBC's James O'Brien. But we won't continue more unless yr interested.
Who are we- Whats our track record...
Nothing so far. Got some other much bigger pitches going on.
Chris and the team have final cut editorial control so if it didnt work that it could be shelved and they've only lost 10 hours of their lives.
We'd at least have a cute test movie by Christmas, which could be shown to friends and family.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EDIT: I seem to have annoyed a mod, it wasn't what I set out to do. I'm just writing stuff for a laugh. We have a load of other pitches out. I just put this up to see
how people would respond..................................... I cut the last stuff out have a good day.....................
Last edited by NormanSkywalker on Tue Nov 27, 2007 9:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Wow. Just... wow!
