Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
By Ballbag
#295569
Well to all my Scottish brethren, I've spent a couple of weeks touring around your country with Mrs Ballbag. A splendid time was had by all, and the ball bag wagon really put the miles on the clock, (had quite a scary moment in the Cairngorms when I miss-judged a corner and nearly sent us down a cliff edge to certain doom).
As I said I enjoyed my time, and guess what........... it didn't rain!
I have some questions/points though.

1) Are you Scottish people immune to the midges, and if so what's your secret. I came back looking like a chicken-pox victim.
2) Why are all of your camp-sites owned by English people?
3) Why isn't Dundee promoted as much as Edinburgh and Glasgow, I found it my favourite city.
4) Why does Tennants exist, it tastes like pish?
5) Repeat number 4 with the subject matter Haggis.
6) What is there to do in Ayrshire other than walk?
7) Is it commonplace to see the young ones of Dumfries drinking vodka on the streets at 10 am, can't they find other entertainment?
eight) Red squirrels are cool, so are the deers too, and we saw dolphins up in Inverness.
9) There seems to be a "Robert Burns lived here" house in every town/city in Scotland, did he really move about that much?
10) Is is always really frikkin windy?
11) How many souvenir kilt shops are there in Edinburgh?
12) How do you sleep at night when the sun sets at midnight, and rises at five past midnight, is there a roaring trade in blackout material for your curtains?
13) Is it law that as a Scotsman you have to spend a fair amount of your day standing outside a pub with a pint and a cigarette in your hand covered in tattoos?
14) What happens in the winter when all the walkers go home?
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By MK Chris
#295571
Bag for balls wrote:5) Repeat number 4 with the subject matter Haggis.

I've never had haggis but I've been told that, since I love black pudding, I will probably also like haggis.

Also, has anyone else had white pudding? It's like black pudding but without the blood apparently, very nice. I had it a while ago staying in a hotel in Liverpool.

Bag for balls wrote:8) Red squirrels are cool, so are the deers too, and we saw dolphins up in Inverness.

I also like red squirrels, shame the bloody grey ones have wiped out the red ones everywhere else. We are lucky enough to have a deer park round here (at Woburn), I drive through it regularly on the way to Mrs Topher's.
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By foot-loose
#295574
Good day Sire Bag of Balls - I was asking Yuds Last night where you had dissappeared off to!

Bag for balls wrote:1) Are you Scottish people immune to the midges, and if so what's your secret. I came back looking like a chicken-pox victim.

I will assume you were camping. We scots tend to know where the midgies live - they love trees and places where there is water nearby. Where were you camping?
Bag for balls wrote:2) Why are all of your camp-sites owned by English people?

This is something I wasn't really aware of, but its probably cos the Englerlanders come up here, fall in love with the place and not want to leave. A lot of Engerlanders own country pubs as well.
Bag for balls wrote:3) Why isn't Dundee promoted as much as Edinburgh and Glasgow, I found it my favourite city.

Hmmm, we don't really agree up here. I don't know as much about Fundee, but I know that it seems to get slightly less abuse than Aberdeen. I was there yesterday, strangly.
Bag for balls wrote:4) Why does Tennants exist, it tastes like pish?

To create the best music festival in the UK. It also gives the kids something cheap to drink. See number seven.
Bag for balls wrote:5) Repeat number 4 with the subject matter Haggis.

Haggis is lovely? Its easy to prepare, is good for you and tastes brilliant.
Bag for balls wrote:6) What is there to do in Ayrshire other than walk?

Viv lives there, so running is also an option. Plus, you can see where Robert Burns lived. You can also get to Ireland from there.
Bag for balls wrote:7) Is it commonplace to see the young ones of Dumfries drinking vodka on the streets at 10 am, can't they find other entertainment?

Just Dumfries? The arcades prob don't open till later, I'd imagine thats why.
Bag for balls wrote:eight) Red squirrels are cool, so are the deers too, and we saw dolphins up in Inverness.

Did you see any wild haggis?
Bag for balls wrote:9) There seems to be a "Robert Burns lived here" house in every town/city in Scotland, did he really move about that much?

only in Ayrshire. Plus by all accounts, he was a bit of a slut, he got about.
Bag for balls wrote:10) Is is always really frikkin windy?

Yes. This is a problem when wearing the kilt.
Bag for balls wrote:11) How many souvenir kilt shops are there in Edinburgh?

the Centre of Edinburgh is basically a Scottish Theme Park. I tell all the folks that want to "see Scotland" to head through there coz thats where all the "choochter" nonsense is. Plenty of bagpipe action etc etc. Its cool to see though, the castle is a good look. The new Parliment is rediculous though.
Bag for balls wrote:12) How do you sleep at night when the sun sets at midnight, and rises at five past midnight, is there a roaring trade in blackout material for your curtains?

Hah! I've never noticed this before. We like the summer - thats for sure. In winter, the sun doesnt appear till lunchtime!
Bag for balls wrote:13) Is it law that as a Scotsman you have to spend a fair amount of your day standing outside a pub with a pint and a cigarette in your hand covered in tattoos?

It has been for a year or so. Before, we were allowed to have tattoos inside the pub. That was before the tattoo ban last March.
Bag for balls wrote:14) What happens in the winter when all the walkers go home?

It gets dark and cold. We drink more.
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By MK Chris
#295575
I won't be going to the centre of Edinburgh if there are bagpipes there.
By Ballbag
#295576
Nice Mc Quote-a-thon.

In answer to your first question....... we camped everywhere, made it just north of Inverness before heading back doon the other side. (Doon being Scottish for down).

Also, why are the McDonald's green? How long have they been like that up there?
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By foot-loose
#295579
I don't think I have ever seen a green McD's.

It might have been for them to "fit in" to somewhere - they do daft things like that.
By Ballbag
#295580
I spied three of them.

I also saw four American tourists in Eginburgh wearing kilts....... in a serious manner. Reminded me of Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's European Vacation when they go to Paris and the whole family wears berets. Very amusing.

I wanted one, but Mrs Ballbag said that the tartan hat with ginger hair I was wearing was enough for me to blend in.
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By foot-loose
#295583
American tourists are generally the worst. I honestly can't think of an american family who haven't told me that they have relatives over here. When I push them to find out about their long lost "family" it normally turns out that someone who died sixty years ago had the surname McCallum or something like that.

They all think they are related to me.

Plus they think that they can see the whole country in a day. I was asked last week if we could "pop over" to Loch Ness because someone wanted a photo. As much as I tried to explain that it was a seven hour round trip, they couldn't understand me. I even took a map out.

Oh, and while i'm complaining, the amount of luggage that comes with Americans is scary! Each person tends to bring two HUGE suitcases. I had one family appearing with a dead stuffed dog. "Oh he travels everywhere with us". Seriously, whats that about?

The Chinese and Japanese hardly bring any luggage with them at all and are generally the most polite people I ever need to deal with.
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By S4B
#295590
Bag for balls wrote:13) Is it law that as a Scotsman you have to spend a fair amount of your day standing outside a pub with a pint and a cigarette in your hand covered in tattoos?


How do you tatoo a cigarette?

Also when you go away can you let us know that you're going, I was quite worried about you and no one knew where you were. :D
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By Zoot
#295654
charlalottie wrote:Welcome back Mr Balls. I wouldn't mind going to Scotland for a bit one day,


I'm sure you can get a bit here in England if you wanted Lottie...
:-D
By Ballbag
#295694
S4B wrote:Also when you go away can you let us know that you're going, I was quite worried about you and no one knew where you were. :D


I barely let Mamma Ballbag know that I was going away, and that was only because she called me when we were setting off. Apologies for not informing the forum, I just deemed it somewhat unnecessary.
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By Boboff
#295700
Last time you set up a thread, You have changed !


* huffs in gay way, and strops off*

So I am not PC, I don't * have to be I am not a public figure !
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By S4B
#295709
Bag for balls wrote:
S4B wrote:Also when you go away can you let us know that you're going, I was quite worried about you and no one knew where you were. :D


I barely let Mamma Ballbag know that I was going away, and that was only because she called me when we were setting off. Apologies for not informing the forum, I just deemed it somewhat unnecessary.


That's ok I just have the overwhelming need to check that people I know and have a laugh with are ok and although I don't "know" you I still find you amusing and I was worried. When Footy went away for a few days he had a BRB sign round his avatar's neck now I wonder where you could write that on your avatar, hmmmm?
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By foot-loose
#295745
That kinda makes sense though...?

Although it contravines the recent changes to the abbreviation law.
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By MK Chris
#295746
charlalottie wrote:Well the other day when my friend and I went off for break, we went on Paint and wrote "BRB" so that our computers wouldn't be nicked. Your move Mr Loose.

Wouldn't it have been easier to go into Word and type it in size 38 font or something?
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By kendra k
#295763
Bag for balls wrote:I also saw four American tourists in Eginburgh wearing kilts....... in a serious manner. Reminded me of Chevy Chase in National Lampoon's European Vacation when they go to Paris and the whole family wears berets. Very amusing.


my dad wears a kilt, a utilikilt, though he's in the market for a real one. it's silly. he's got boney legs and he's not scottish at all.
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By foot-loose
#295771
kendra k wrote:my dad wears a kilt, a utilikilt, though he's in the market for a real one. it's silly. he's got boney legs and he's not scottish at all.

I honestly am speechless after seeing that!



wow!

That would be hilarious if it wasn't serious!
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By kendra k
#295772
you don't have to go out in public with him when he's wearing it. my mom has one too.
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By kendra k
#295775
[img]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/33/123825281_985bcd84ba.jpg[/url]
here are my parents in their kilts at a cousin's wedding.