[Vivienne]

livid can be angry sometimes, so he may well have got it right (!!).

[Boboff]

The was a sexy chap called bag for balls
He designed A frames, and parts of car doors
He had two little cats
And a large ball sack
And a penchant for giving out scores !

Sorry with was meant to be was, and there is no point taking time over these things, they either work or you though them away.

[Boboff]

Throw !

[Vivienne]

there once was a man called boboff....
that I sincerely wished would f*** off.

[Vivienne]

this is a joke , btw, boboff!!

[Ballbag]

In order to give you a score
I've read through your ditty once more
It still needs more work
For it raised not a smirk
So with that in mind, only a four.

[Vivienne]

o out of 10

[Boboff]

Whatever love, the fun is in completing the verse though, two lines is just lazy.

I once knew a Viv from Ayrshire
who once said "this ladies for hire"
With Back combed red Hair
A stoop, and a scarry stare
She'd keep the kids way from the fire.

[Vivienne]

0 out of 10, BBog

[Zoot]

There once was a Lady from Ayrshire
Who's insults, she gave her fair share.
They were mostly aimed at boboff
whom she secretly wanted a bit of,
But he's a fudge packer, which just isn't fair!

[Vivienne]

there once was a man called zoot
sitting playing a floot
I wish someone would give him a boot.

[Boboff]

There once was a Lady from Ayrshire
Who's insults, she gave her fair share.
They were mostly aimed at boboff
whom she secretly wanted a bit of,
But he's a fudge packer, which just isn't fair!

Very Good, 8 I would have thought baggie ?

[Zoot]

Now that I like!

There once was a dude called Zoot,
A burglar by night he kept loot,
That he stole during the day,
And hit it away,
He declared it was all quite a hoot.

*Applauds*

[Vivienne]

this poetry is becoming very boring..,.
And I am sat here snoring.

[Boboff]

That's because you're irritating.

[Vivienne]

I thought you liked "la viv" now, bbogg.

[Ballbag]

I don't think you get the idea
So I will try to make quite it clear
Your scanning is poor
I suggest as a cure
That you check it before posting here.

(Charlalalalalalalottie 3 for your first one, 5 for the next, Zoot 7)

[Vivienne]

I'm here standing on my head.
I think it's time I went to bed.

[Ballbag]

Quote-a-thon 101 - learn limericks through Baggie

On a serious note though, the scanning of a limerick should follow a consistent pattern. The first, second and fifth lines should traditionally have 9 syllables and the third and fourth should have 6. So it should go 9-9-6-6-9, alternatively you can opt for a 8-8-5-5-8 version.

There once was a chap called boboff
who was got challenged to a bit of a slob-off
He was all lazy on the sofa,
took the piss out of Topher,
Who threatened to take his knob off.

This one goes 8-11-9-7-8.

The was a sexy chap called bag for balls
He designed A frames, and parts of car doors
He had two little cats
And a large ball sack
And a penchant for giving out scores !

This one is 10-10-6-5-9.

There once was a Lady from Ayrshire
Who's insults, she gave her fair share.
They were mostly aimed at boboff
whom she secretly wanted a bit of,
But he's a fudge packer, which just isn't fair!

This one is 9-8-8-10-10.

I'm here standing on my head.
I think it's time I went to bed.

This one goes 7-8.


I hate to sound pedantic and sexy, but that's just me, I just thought I'd let you know some of my marking criteria.

[Vivienne]

someone please close this thread, eh? !

[Zoot]

Why?
This is one of the rare threads where we haven't actually gone off topic!

[Vivienne]

I'm losing patience with it, that's all... anyhow ... time to do some work.!

[Boboff]

I don't think you get the idea
So I will try to make quite it clear
Your scanning is poor
I suggest as a cure
That you check it before posting here.

(Charlalalalalalalottie 3 for your first one, 5 for the next, Zoot 7)

7 8 5 6 9

harder than you think then baggie, and yes I get the point that you can read words differently and the intonation makes it right, but you haven't chosen to interpret some of the other works with this level of "poetic licence"

[Vivienne]

at a basic level... does anyone actually CARE? !

[Ballbag]

I don't think you get the idea
So I will try to make quite it clear
Your scanning is poor
I suggest as a cure
That you check it before posting here.

(Charlalalalalalalottie 3 for your first one, 5 for the next, Zoot 7)

7 8 5 6 9

harder than you think then baggie, and yes I get the point that you can read words differently and the intonation makes it right, but you haven't chosen to interpret some of the other works with this level of "poetic licence"

Indeed Bofobb, but I was near enough there. (I't s 8-9-5-6-9 by the way, and I missed out a "that" on the first line, which would have made it 9-9-5-6-9 which is near enough), Oh the irony of that limerick.