[stevotrash Esq.]

It's been a while since a board member (without any real artistic talent where the majority of us reside) has got a mention on the show so I came up with this.

As we know, Johnny Vaughan is struggling on radio against the competition. Maybe it's time we banded together and helped get Johnny back on TV and as far away from a mixing desk as possible. An ASBO might be the solution, but it's likely he already has one of those given his previous track record. To get him back on TV however, we need a supremely great TV show concept that even butter fingers Vaughan couldn't possibly mess up.

Therefore lets...

Carry a Johnny...........Vaughan.

You need to come up with TV show ideas that compliments his portfolio of tv work which includes ' I'm in a shed presenting a show - how very quirky,' 'Space Nuts' and 'Orrible.....is an under-estimation.' The most 'out of the box' concepts only please.

[stevotrash Esq.]

'Johnny Vaugahn's Celebrity Driving School'

Series 1 - Reg from the Bill must pass his HGV driving license whilst listening to Johnny Vaughans show on Capital Radio. The objective will be not to sleep behind the wheel and crash or to force you vehicle off the road intentionally. Final verdicts on whether Reg passes shall be made by our panel of esteemed judges which include;

Roger Monkhouse
Oliver Skeet
Sir Douglas Hird

The entire show will take place in a shed and Trevor Baylis will operate the clockwork radio.

[fish heads]

Maybe a TV panel show about lists of the "Worst" things imaginable, similar to 8 out of 10 cats. He can be a team captain, and we can call it "Best of the Worst", see what I did there...!


Oh...

[nood]

Cool. I'll just nip back in time a couple of months to get it commissioned.. Back in a mo.

[bumheed7]

i thought he was good on 'best of the worst'.

if chris went on that show, would that make it good?

[Dimon Trowel]

Yawnin at the Vaughan

Contestants must battle it out to see who yawns the most whilst listening to Vaughan's radio show.

- and dead contestants can also take part.

Ratings winner.

[nood]

How about a gardening program that showcases attractive gardens in Scotland called Johnny Vaughn's Bonnie Lawns.

I'll get my coat.

[Adam]

Morning with Vaughny -

Johnny fronts an all new breakfast show next to a canal ?

Its a sure winner i'm telling you!

[stevotrash Esq.]

Johnny's Finder Keepers

Johnny invites 10 children around his house dressed as a mixture of constables and detectives. They have to turn over his house in order to discover and recover his old stock of class a drugs.

The winner gets to do bird...along with a tv contract.

[stevotrash Esq.]

Johnny's Blue Peter

Johnny presents a a variety show featuring TV's Peter Purvis reciting jokes from Roy Chubby Browns "King Thong" stand up show whilst on naval ships.

The act culminates in Peter dangling his balls underneath a gun turrent, and questioning whether you've ' seen a weapon like this before?'

The show will follow in the tradition of family entertainment- with fart, muff, arse and kn*b gags a plenty.

[stevotrash Esq.]

Charlie Brown

Johnny sets off 3 teams from a location in Columbia - heading back to London in a quest to find out which form of transport is the best method to go undetected when smuggling cocaine into the country using your anal flute.

[Adam]

im sure that could be sold to the porn channel, steveotrash. ^

[stevotrash Esq.]

Good idea Adam,

However, I'm already in talks with them over another celebrity recording I have. A steamy sex video starring Bubble from Big Brother.

It's got the working title of 'I'm forever blowing Bubble.'

Ironically, there's no such type of action in this video, just a gargantuan woman rogering him with a strap on until he's a progressed into a quivering wreck.

Still, lets not let facts get in the way of a snappy title.

[Sweetzombie]

Johnny Spawns

With the use of Vaughn DNA, several scientific geniuses attempt to create a Johnny Vaughn that is actually entertaining.

[Adam]

Johnny does Geogre Michael.

Johnny sends a few days hanging out with Michael showing him round his haunts and gets a chance to meet his dealer, Derek.

[stevotrash Esq.]

Deal or No Deal - With Johnny Vaughan

Johnny sells Noel Edmonds to "the banker" in return for the contents of box 13 (opened by Sandra) which just so happens to be 2kg of heroin.

Subsequent episodes see Noel imprisoned in box number 13, trying to escape to proove Vaughan has no reason to be anywhere near the "box".

[stevotrash Esq.]

Johnny's School Dinners



Johnny has to get a school of 1000+ pupils dependant on illegal chemicals working to a budget of 30p per child .

He calls in his good friend Tevor Baylis - who knows all about working to a tight budget as he created a clockwork radio powered by Cecil Parkinson whilst on the social a few years back.

Trevor insults all the dinner ladies by saying they are lazy tw*ts. The staff responds by saying his clockwork radio is a crap idea. Trevor runs away in tears. Cecil Parkinson is well p*ssed off at this point and slips turkey twistlers into the dinnerladies heroin based dessert in retaliation to poor Trevors treatment....

[Dave the Rave]

Johnny's School Dinners

Johnny has to get a school of 1000+ a pupils dependant on illegal chemicals working to a budget of 30p per child .

He calls in his good friend Tevor Baylis - who knows all about working to a tight budget as he created a clockwork radio powered by Cecil Parkinson whilst on the social a few years back.

Trevor insults all the dinner ladies by saying they are lazy tw*ts. The staff responds by saying his clockwork radio is a crap idea. Trevor runs away in tears. Cecil Parkinson is well p*ssed off at this point and slips turkey twistlers into the dinnerladies heroin based dessert in retaliation to poor Trevors treatment....

LMAO That is the funniest thing i have read in ages. I'm setting my tivo now!!!

[Walter Sobchak]

JOHNNY VAUGHAN MOWS YOUR LAWN.
A gardening show with a difference.
following in the footsteps of other Gardening Programs
Johnny Vaughan's team revisits the victims, and digs up all the
dead flowers and shrubs, removes the now dry water features
and they turf the whole garden.
Johnny Vaughan goes back at a later date for the climax of the show
where he then mows your lawn.

[stevotrash Esq.]

Following the huge success of Johnny's School Dinners, Yawning at Vaughany, Johnny Vaughans Bonnie Lawns and the unforgettable Johny Vaughan Mows Your Lawn, the star embarks on a new gang based show called...

Where In The World Can You Pick Up Johnny

Johnny, accompanied by his close friend Trevor Baylis travel to various famous landmarks in the world to find out where you can pick up Vaughans Capital One Radio Show using Trevors legendary 'The Cecil Parkinson Clockwork Powered Radio'.

A flaw is realised when it becomes apparent that Vaughan cannot be in two places at one time. Luckily, no-one listens to his show anyhow so they employ Peter Dean aka Pete Beale from Eastenders to pose as the mockney DJ as no-one will notice the difference.

Episode One, Johnny goes balastic at the Taj Mahal when he realises that Cecil Parkinson keeps retuning the frequency to Jason and Iyare on 1xtra. Cecil Parkinson bonks some girls in retaliation.

Where will thi setback leave the misson?

[stevotrash Esq.]

Radio Cadets

Wannabe DJ's chase the opportunity of being involved in a major show on a major radio station. They will undergo a rigourous training with some of the top people in radio including Eugene from Big Brother and ex-Dreem Team DJ Timmy Magic.

Here's the wind up.

The actual radio show they will be working on is Johnnys Vaughan's Morning Sickness show on Capital One Radio. Cue facial shots of disgruntled geeks.

[stevotrash Esq.]

JOHNNY'S NOT MAD

....he's just sh*t.

[medinner]

Hair We Go Again

Johnny does his best Roger Cook impression in this programme which sees the slaphead mockney (yeah gang!) doorstep famous wig wearers and ask them why the hell they continue to wear wigs when everyone knows they're baldys. If this is a success then I propose:

Up At The Crack Of Vaughn

Where Johnny uses cameras built into his 'pub trainers' to see what female celebs have shaven havens. Claire Balding possibly to cohost the studio links in both of these progs whilst Johnny is out on the streets. On crack.