chrismoyles.net
- Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:24 pm
#241882
1. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Good Charlotte - Girls & Boys, 3. Sugababes - In The Middle, 4. Beenie Man feat Ms.Thing - Dude, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Bluetones - Bluetonic, 6. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Eve feat Gwen Stefani - Let Me Blow Ya Mind, 8. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 9. Narcotic Thrust - I Like It, 10. Snow Patrol - Run 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Christina Aguilera - Fighter, 12. Outkast - The Way You Move, 13. Will Young - Hey Ya (Jo Whiley Live Lounge - 15/03/04), 14. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance, 16. Jamelia - Thank You, 17. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 18. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 19. Travis - Driftwood (Tedious Link), 20. Britney Spears - Toxic, 21. Dilated Peoples feat Kanye West - This Way, 22. Blink 182 - I Miss You 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 24. Richard X feat Kelis - Finest Dreams, 25. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 26. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move
Chris went to bed at 10:30 last night, which he said was a good four or five hours earlier than he used to when he was on afternoons. Rock n roll Dominic Byrne went to bed at 9 o’clock, which Chris said he just couldn’t comprehend. Until he moved to mornings, Moyles said his breakfast show was always Mark and Lard. Chris didn’t go to the gym yesterday because a) he couldn’t be arsed and b) he was too peed off with his whole computer/iPod situation. He bought an iPod a month ago but is yet to use it. He tried to the other day but said his computer is so old that it wouldn’t let him download the software. Chris said he must have Windows 73 or something and has decided to get a new computer rather than upgrade to Windows 2000 or the like. He said by doing this he has fallen into the iPod trap and he should have just bought a discman. Chris said all his new computer has to have is e-mail, internet access (for his porn), Microsoft Word, a printer and some software he can use with his digital camera. He also wanted one that will look nice and sexy on his desk. Chris’s cousin and Geordie Scott both told him to consider buying an iMac, so he is left wondering now whether he should get a Mac or a new PC. Now I may write these reviews but I freely admit I’m as much as a moron as Chris when it comes to such technical computer stuff. However, as my computer is an iMac I can actually comment on this without having to pretend I know what I’m talking about. It’s got all the features Chris needs (iPhoto is the package for his digital camera and iTunes for his iPod) and it has the added bonus of the colourful screens Chris was attracted to (visit here to see what I’m on about). Also, the text and style of this reviews page looks so much better on a Mac compared to viewing it on a PC. I’m sure that this isn’t particularly high on Chris’s priority list however. Geordie Scott wouldn’t come on the air to talk about Chris’s dilemma, which I find a bit odd after all the time he spent on the air on the afternoon show. Dave was a bit lost in all this chat and suddenly realised something about an iPod (that Chris had mentioned only a couple of minutes beforehand)...
Dave - It’s a bit like a modern day walkman isn’t it?
Chris (pause) - I refer you back to what I was saying at the start of the link Dave
Dave - mmm
Chris - You really need to keep up with these things
Dave - I’m just clarifying everything
Chris - Right thanks
All the members of the team that have a computer have a PC. Dave wasn’t paying particular attention to this post-news chat though as he was too busy watching Bear In The Big Blue House on Channel 5 on the studio monitor. Chris said Dave was transfixed to the screen. Dave said only because it was Bear’s Big Birthday Bash. It really was “interactive play at home fun” as while the team chatted about who and what was on screen I quickly flicked on my TV to Channel 5 to see what they were talking about. Sad but true. Chris said that if some of his former colleagues at five were listening then they might be able to bike over loads of Bear In The Big Blue House merchandise for Dave...
Dave (interrupting) - Or some episodes on DVD?
THE GREAT RADIO 1 RACE BUILD UP - WAKING UP DJ SPOONY
Today is the day that everyone has been waiting for.....it’s the day of The Great Radio 1 Race. It will be live into Jo Whiley’s show at 11am, with commentary coming from Comedy Dave. Chris thinks all the competitors taking part are taking it far too seriously, in particular Spoony (who started the whole thing off by boasting he could beat Nemone in a race). Dave said Spoons used to be quite a good runner as a kid, but Chris preferred to look at him as “a 40 year old who plays records in nightclubs” and said he didn’t have a hope in hell of beating potential Olympiad Nemone. Dave had him down as an outsider though and Aled also thought he could potentially be the winner. This called for drastic action - a little something to interrupt Spoony’s pre-race preparations. Aled was sent to his North London house to wake him up...but not just with a simple knock on the door. He was accompanied to the residence of Mr Spoons by two members from London's Banqueting Ensemble (two buglers with trumpets). Aled said he was more nervous about this than anything he’s ever done on the show before, saying he just hoped they’d got the right house. They had and it worked a treat. Spoony popped his head out of the window and shouted “I’m gonna get you back for this”. Within a couple of minutes Spoony had put some trousers on and was down talking to Chris and Dave via Aled’s mic and spare set of headphones. Dave pretended it was Aled’s fault and said sorry for “the welsh clown with the satellite pack” and his accompanying brass band. Spoony didn’t mind the early alarm call (Chris said it was much better than a clock radio) as he had been up since 7 mentally preparing for the big race. He said he was very confident of winning (he’s hot on the heels of Moyles & Murray in the ego-stakes), otherwise he wouldn’t be getting out of bed at such a stupid time. Dave had been informed that both Murray and Chappers are facing late fitness tests ahead of the big race this morning, meaning in other words they know their gonna get their arses kicked so are staying in bed. Radio 1 boss Parf Daddy will be taking part though and Spoony predicted Aled would end up “somewhere behind him”.
Chris - Well that’s what normally happens
Parfitt is actually a frequent (and very competitive) marathon runner so Aled wasn’t really fancying his chances against him, Spoony and professional athlete Nemone. Chris said Aled is going to have to run like Lisa Riley after the fish and chip van if he’s going to stand any chance of winning today. Aled said his preparations for the race were going well - very little training and a bacon & egg muffin for breakfast. After Aled moaned he didn’t have any sports gear for the race yesterday, Jo Whiley went out and bought him a pink, red and green outfit to wear. Aled didn’t like it but he could see he had hurt Jo’s feelings by saying that, so he has agreed to wear it. The pics of “The Welsh Wonderboy” in his multi-coloured kit will be put up on this page in a special “Great Radio 1 Race Round Up” section.
(Spoony, Aled and The Buglers)
Earlier in the show Aled participated in Buzz Off from a North London park near Spoony’s house, via the satellite link up. Dave could just imagine the morning joggers running past wondering who that strange man was shouting Buzz Off while standing on his own with a teletubby aerial on his head. Aled was unsurprisingly first to buzz off again this morning, after just 1 minute 47 seconds of Bluetonic by The Bluetones (which reached number 19 in October 1995). Rachel was next on 2:31, the listeners third on 2:43 and Dave finally buzzed it off after 3:01.
CHRIS GETS ANOTHER NUMBER ONE:
Today is your last chance to hear Chris Moyles Extra from last Wednesday’s show via Listen Again at Radio 1 Online (although it’ll be put in the Sound Vault here when it’s relaunched in a couple of weeks). Over the last few weeks Chris has of course being going head to head with The Archers in a bid to become the most listened to show on The BBC Radio Player. Last weeks figures were published yesterday and the results are as follows...
THE ARCHERS - 102, 160
THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW - 117, 506
Yep, Chris wiped the floor with those country bumpkins, ironically in one of their most controversial weeks ever. That’s because this week The Archers had it’s first ever gay kiss. Chris wasn’t particularly confident about holding onto top spot next week as The Archers have been Listen Again number one pretty much non-stop for a couple of years now. However, Dave had a cunning plan. He suggested the show became more controversial in a bid to win more online listeners. Dave said he’d do a gay kiss to boost the figures, so Chris summoned in Dominic as he was too busy pressing buttons (of course he was). Chris decided to play a record while he worked on a very rough script for Dom, Dave and Rachel. Dave told Dom to “pucker up baldy”. After the next song, the team performed a two minute sketch (in Archers accents) with Chris as narrator, Dave as a farmer, Dom as a window cleaner and Rachel as a widow busy body. It was borderline genius. The sketch involved Dom visiting Dave to try and get some soapy water to dip his sponge in, but getting more than he bargained for. Chris could be heard laughing off-mic throughout and Dave laughed more or less all the way through (in his pig squeal laugh). After it had finished, Dom said you wouldn’t have guessed it was mainly ad-libbed. Chris said that was why the Moyles show and The Archers are top of the BBC Listen Again tree.
(Some graphs showing how the show annihilated The Archers on Listen Again this week)
Chris had a Guess What today that old afternoon producer Greyhead joined in with. It was guess what his girlfriend Sophie had bought him. It turned out to be a Twister bed cover. Dave guessed it but claimed he hadn’t found out internally from Sophie. Chris told him not to put those two words together thank you very much. Alongside the classic Knocker Blocker spoof ad, a trail for BBC One’s Hustle was played just before half 8. Dom, Dave and Jules all thought the voice over said Persil not Hustle. Chris said Hustle is a really great show. Dave said he likes the adverts but has never actually found time to sit down and watch the show. Chris said he’s bigging it up a lot cos BBC One controller Lorraine Heggessey told him he doesn’t say enough nice things about the channel. Chris said he’s got to keep talking nice things if he wants to get his big prime time BBC One Saturday night TV show.
Chris (in his fake TV announcer voice) - Persil, The Wash Is On....Tonight at 9 on BBC One
Dave - You’ve just reminded me actually, I didn’t take my washing out this morning
Chris - Excellent, there you go...that’s why we’re going to be number one in the ratings Dave, that’s it!!!
(hits Roger Sanchez vocal)
Will Young was in the Live Lounge with Jo Whiley yesterday and recorded his own mellow interpretation of Hey Ya by Outkast. It started off well but faded away a bit. Chris also revealed that Will chickened out of telling a story on the air that he was going to, although Chris can’t reveal what it is because he said it’s for Will to do in his own time. Rachel went into Mrs Doyle mode *Go on, Go on* but Dave said Chris couldn’t possibly say as it would “undermine his professional integrity”. What professional integrity is that then? Possibly the funniest part of today’s show came just before the 9:30 news when Chris and Dave got into a big row. It was about the current song that has Rachel Hunter in the video. Chris thought it was Blink 182 and wanted to know if he was right. Dave manned the texts to bring first news, but was ten minutes later than Rache with it and interrupted Chris as he was giving a big, dramatic voice over about The Great Radio 1 Race. Chris called Dave a pillock, an idiot, a (door) knob and told him to take his headphones off and bugger off. Chris told Dave he’d put him through the window, to which Dave replied “Come on then”. It wasn’t until a loud cough from Dom and a time check from Jules got the show moving again. Oh and the video with Rachel Hunter in is actually Stacy’s Mom by The Fountains Of Wayne if you care.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MIKE a lorry driver from Andover in Hampshire 2
ANNIE a sales rep working in Southampton 0
Daves Tedious Link
Chumbawamba Tubthumping - Chumbawamba shares many of the same letters as Samantha Mumba who is Irish - Irish people celebrate St. Patrick's Day tomorrow - Tomorrow Never Dies is the title of a James Bond film - James Bond shares the same surname as Jennie Bond, who spent several weeks in the jungle - Jungle rhymes with Bungle, who was mates with Geoffrey and Zippy - Zippy is a famous TV character who is yellow and in that respect shares something in common with Sesame Street star Big Bird - Big Birds in the wild tend to be birds of prey - Pray was a hit for MC Hammer in 1990 - MC Hammer wears baggy trousers, as does Mr Tim Westwood - Tim Westwood shares the same surname as Lee Westwood, who is a famous golfer - Golfers play golf of course - Golf was invented in Scotland - and Scotland is the home of many great bands from the world of music, with one of the finest being Travis - Which links us to Travis and Driftwood*
* When chatting after Tedious about Travis, Dave plugged the fact that they will be appearing as guests on Mark and Lard’s final ever Radio 1 show - a week on Friday (March 26th from 1pm). Chris still thought that this piece of information was top secret, although Dave was confident he’d heard them mention it on the air. Dave of course has a bit of a track record when it comes to putting his foot in it, having previously given away line ups for such events as the One Big Weekend in Manchester and Radio 1’s Summer of Live music.
Dave - I’m sure I wouldn’t have inadvertently let the cat out the bag...it’s not my style
Chris handed over to Jo Whiley at 10 and referred to her beforehand as “vintage bintage”. Dave said he couldn’t say that as it wasn’t respectful (but we know it’s true).
(after pips) Jo - You’re in such trouble
Chris - Well, it’s a dream come true
Chris went to bed at 10:30 last night, which he said was a good four or five hours earlier than he used to when he was on afternoons. Rock n roll Dominic Byrne went to bed at 9 o’clock, which Chris said he just couldn’t comprehend. Until he moved to mornings, Moyles said his breakfast show was always Mark and Lard. Chris didn’t go to the gym yesterday because a) he couldn’t be arsed and b) he was too peed off with his whole computer/iPod situation. He bought an iPod a month ago but is yet to use it. He tried to the other day but said his computer is so old that it wouldn’t let him download the software. Chris said he must have Windows 73 or something and has decided to get a new computer rather than upgrade to Windows 2000 or the like. He said by doing this he has fallen into the iPod trap and he should have just bought a discman. Chris said all his new computer has to have is e-mail, internet access (for his porn), Microsoft Word, a printer and some software he can use with his digital camera. He also wanted one that will look nice and sexy on his desk. Chris’s cousin and Geordie Scott both told him to consider buying an iMac, so he is left wondering now whether he should get a Mac or a new PC. Now I may write these reviews but I freely admit I’m as much as a moron as Chris when it comes to such technical computer stuff. However, as my computer is an iMac I can actually comment on this without having to pretend I know what I’m talking about. It’s got all the features Chris needs (iPhoto is the package for his digital camera and iTunes for his iPod) and it has the added bonus of the colourful screens Chris was attracted to (visit here to see what I’m on about). Also, the text and style of this reviews page looks so much better on a Mac compared to viewing it on a PC. I’m sure that this isn’t particularly high on Chris’s priority list however. Geordie Scott wouldn’t come on the air to talk about Chris’s dilemma, which I find a bit odd after all the time he spent on the air on the afternoon show. Dave was a bit lost in all this chat and suddenly realised something about an iPod (that Chris had mentioned only a couple of minutes beforehand)...
Dave - It’s a bit like a modern day walkman isn’t it?
Chris (pause) - I refer you back to what I was saying at the start of the link Dave
Dave - mmm
Chris - You really need to keep up with these things
Dave - I’m just clarifying everything
Chris - Right thanks
All the members of the team that have a computer have a PC. Dave wasn’t paying particular attention to this post-news chat though as he was too busy watching Bear In The Big Blue House on Channel 5 on the studio monitor. Chris said Dave was transfixed to the screen. Dave said only because it was Bear’s Big Birthday Bash. It really was “interactive play at home fun” as while the team chatted about who and what was on screen I quickly flicked on my TV to Channel 5 to see what they were talking about. Sad but true. Chris said that if some of his former colleagues at five were listening then they might be able to bike over loads of Bear In The Big Blue House merchandise for Dave...
Dave (interrupting) - Or some episodes on DVD?
THE GREAT RADIO 1 RACE BUILD UP - WAKING UP DJ SPOONY
Today is the day that everyone has been waiting for.....it’s the day of The Great Radio 1 Race. It will be live into Jo Whiley’s show at 11am, with commentary coming from Comedy Dave. Chris thinks all the competitors taking part are taking it far too seriously, in particular Spoony (who started the whole thing off by boasting he could beat Nemone in a race). Dave said Spoons used to be quite a good runner as a kid, but Chris preferred to look at him as “a 40 year old who plays records in nightclubs” and said he didn’t have a hope in hell of beating potential Olympiad Nemone. Dave had him down as an outsider though and Aled also thought he could potentially be the winner. This called for drastic action - a little something to interrupt Spoony’s pre-race preparations. Aled was sent to his North London house to wake him up...but not just with a simple knock on the door. He was accompanied to the residence of Mr Spoons by two members from London's Banqueting Ensemble (two buglers with trumpets). Aled said he was more nervous about this than anything he’s ever done on the show before, saying he just hoped they’d got the right house. They had and it worked a treat. Spoony popped his head out of the window and shouted “I’m gonna get you back for this”. Within a couple of minutes Spoony had put some trousers on and was down talking to Chris and Dave via Aled’s mic and spare set of headphones. Dave pretended it was Aled’s fault and said sorry for “the welsh clown with the satellite pack” and his accompanying brass band. Spoony didn’t mind the early alarm call (Chris said it was much better than a clock radio) as he had been up since 7 mentally preparing for the big race. He said he was very confident of winning (he’s hot on the heels of Moyles & Murray in the ego-stakes), otherwise he wouldn’t be getting out of bed at such a stupid time. Dave had been informed that both Murray and Chappers are facing late fitness tests ahead of the big race this morning, meaning in other words they know their gonna get their arses kicked so are staying in bed. Radio 1 boss Parf Daddy will be taking part though and Spoony predicted Aled would end up “somewhere behind him”.
Chris - Well that’s what normally happens
Parfitt is actually a frequent (and very competitive) marathon runner so Aled wasn’t really fancying his chances against him, Spoony and professional athlete Nemone. Chris said Aled is going to have to run like Lisa Riley after the fish and chip van if he’s going to stand any chance of winning today. Aled said his preparations for the race were going well - very little training and a bacon & egg muffin for breakfast. After Aled moaned he didn’t have any sports gear for the race yesterday, Jo Whiley went out and bought him a pink, red and green outfit to wear. Aled didn’t like it but he could see he had hurt Jo’s feelings by saying that, so he has agreed to wear it. The pics of “The Welsh Wonderboy” in his multi-coloured kit will be put up on this page in a special “Great Radio 1 Race Round Up” section.
(Spoony, Aled and The Buglers)
Earlier in the show Aled participated in Buzz Off from a North London park near Spoony’s house, via the satellite link up. Dave could just imagine the morning joggers running past wondering who that strange man was shouting Buzz Off while standing on his own with a teletubby aerial on his head. Aled was unsurprisingly first to buzz off again this morning, after just 1 minute 47 seconds of Bluetonic by The Bluetones (which reached number 19 in October 1995). Rachel was next on 2:31, the listeners third on 2:43 and Dave finally buzzed it off after 3:01.
CHRIS GETS ANOTHER NUMBER ONE:
Today is your last chance to hear Chris Moyles Extra from last Wednesday’s show via Listen Again at Radio 1 Online (although it’ll be put in the Sound Vault here when it’s relaunched in a couple of weeks). Over the last few weeks Chris has of course being going head to head with The Archers in a bid to become the most listened to show on The BBC Radio Player. Last weeks figures were published yesterday and the results are as follows...
THE ARCHERS - 102, 160
THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW - 117, 506
Yep, Chris wiped the floor with those country bumpkins, ironically in one of their most controversial weeks ever. That’s because this week The Archers had it’s first ever gay kiss. Chris wasn’t particularly confident about holding onto top spot next week as The Archers have been Listen Again number one pretty much non-stop for a couple of years now. However, Dave had a cunning plan. He suggested the show became more controversial in a bid to win more online listeners. Dave said he’d do a gay kiss to boost the figures, so Chris summoned in Dominic as he was too busy pressing buttons (of course he was). Chris decided to play a record while he worked on a very rough script for Dom, Dave and Rachel. Dave told Dom to “pucker up baldy”. After the next song, the team performed a two minute sketch (in Archers accents) with Chris as narrator, Dave as a farmer, Dom as a window cleaner and Rachel as a widow busy body. It was borderline genius. The sketch involved Dom visiting Dave to try and get some soapy water to dip his sponge in, but getting more than he bargained for. Chris could be heard laughing off-mic throughout and Dave laughed more or less all the way through (in his pig squeal laugh). After it had finished, Dom said you wouldn’t have guessed it was mainly ad-libbed. Chris said that was why the Moyles show and The Archers are top of the BBC Listen Again tree.
(Some graphs showing how the show annihilated The Archers on Listen Again this week)
Chris had a Guess What today that old afternoon producer Greyhead joined in with. It was guess what his girlfriend Sophie had bought him. It turned out to be a Twister bed cover. Dave guessed it but claimed he hadn’t found out internally from Sophie. Chris told him not to put those two words together thank you very much. Alongside the classic Knocker Blocker spoof ad, a trail for BBC One’s Hustle was played just before half 8. Dom, Dave and Jules all thought the voice over said Persil not Hustle. Chris said Hustle is a really great show. Dave said he likes the adverts but has never actually found time to sit down and watch the show. Chris said he’s bigging it up a lot cos BBC One controller Lorraine Heggessey told him he doesn’t say enough nice things about the channel. Chris said he’s got to keep talking nice things if he wants to get his big prime time BBC One Saturday night TV show.
Chris (in his fake TV announcer voice) - Persil, The Wash Is On....Tonight at 9 on BBC One
Dave - You’ve just reminded me actually, I didn’t take my washing out this morning
Chris - Excellent, there you go...that’s why we’re going to be number one in the ratings Dave, that’s it!!!
(hits Roger Sanchez vocal)
Will Young was in the Live Lounge with Jo Whiley yesterday and recorded his own mellow interpretation of Hey Ya by Outkast. It started off well but faded away a bit. Chris also revealed that Will chickened out of telling a story on the air that he was going to, although Chris can’t reveal what it is because he said it’s for Will to do in his own time. Rachel went into Mrs Doyle mode *Go on, Go on* but Dave said Chris couldn’t possibly say as it would “undermine his professional integrity”. What professional integrity is that then? Possibly the funniest part of today’s show came just before the 9:30 news when Chris and Dave got into a big row. It was about the current song that has Rachel Hunter in the video. Chris thought it was Blink 182 and wanted to know if he was right. Dave manned the texts to bring first news, but was ten minutes later than Rache with it and interrupted Chris as he was giving a big, dramatic voice over about The Great Radio 1 Race. Chris called Dave a pillock, an idiot, a (door) knob and told him to take his headphones off and bugger off. Chris told Dave he’d put him through the window, to which Dave replied “Come on then”. It wasn’t until a loud cough from Dom and a time check from Jules got the show moving again. Oh and the video with Rachel Hunter in is actually Stacy’s Mom by The Fountains Of Wayne if you care.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
MIKE a lorry driver from Andover in Hampshire 2
ANNIE a sales rep working in Southampton 0
Daves Tedious Link
Chumbawamba Tubthumping - Chumbawamba shares many of the same letters as Samantha Mumba who is Irish - Irish people celebrate St. Patrick's Day tomorrow - Tomorrow Never Dies is the title of a James Bond film - James Bond shares the same surname as Jennie Bond, who spent several weeks in the jungle - Jungle rhymes with Bungle, who was mates with Geoffrey and Zippy - Zippy is a famous TV character who is yellow and in that respect shares something in common with Sesame Street star Big Bird - Big Birds in the wild tend to be birds of prey - Pray was a hit for MC Hammer in 1990 - MC Hammer wears baggy trousers, as does Mr Tim Westwood - Tim Westwood shares the same surname as Lee Westwood, who is a famous golfer - Golfers play golf of course - Golf was invented in Scotland - and Scotland is the home of many great bands from the world of music, with one of the finest being Travis - Which links us to Travis and Driftwood*
* When chatting after Tedious about Travis, Dave plugged the fact that they will be appearing as guests on Mark and Lard’s final ever Radio 1 show - a week on Friday (March 26th from 1pm). Chris still thought that this piece of information was top secret, although Dave was confident he’d heard them mention it on the air. Dave of course has a bit of a track record when it comes to putting his foot in it, having previously given away line ups for such events as the One Big Weekend in Manchester and Radio 1’s Summer of Live music.
Dave - I’m sure I wouldn’t have inadvertently let the cat out the bag...it’s not my style
Chris handed over to Jo Whiley at 10 and referred to her beforehand as “vintage bintage”. Dave said he couldn’t say that as it wasn’t respectful (but we know it’s true).
(after pips) Jo - You’re in such trouble
Chris - Well, it’s a dream come true
