The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241871
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 3. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 4. BUZZ OFF - Weird Al Yankovic - Complicated, 5. Pink - God Is A DJ 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. Sugababes- Freak Like Me, 7. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 8. Peter Andre feat Bubbler Ranx - Mysterious Girl 8:00 NEWSBEAT 9. Jason Nevins feat Holly James - I’m In Heaven, 10. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 11. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love 8:30 NEWSBEAT 12. Foo Fighters - All My Life, 13. Jamelia - Thank You, 14. Justin Timberlake - Like I Love You, 15. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 16. Oasis - Live Forever (Tedious Link), 17. Beenie Man feat Ms.Thing - Dude, 18. Nelly Furtado - Try, 19. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling 9:30 NEWSBEAT 20. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 21. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 22. Jennifer Lopez - Baby I Love U! (R. Kelly Remix)

Chris - It’s coming up to 6:57, thank you Nemone. Good morning I’m Chris, back in my studio where I know what all the knobs do....good morning Aled!!!
(hits Red Hot Chili Peppers vocal)

This weekend Chris did the lar-dee-da Radio 1 breakfast DJ thing of spending the weekend abroad. Him and Sophie went to Luxembourg, where Chris lived and worked when he was just 18 (he worked on Radio Luxembourg). They arrived back in the country at 7pm last night after a 55 minute return flight (Chris said he could just about cope with those). Despite the cold weather this weekend, Chris had a good time revisiting the Grand Duche (the capital city) as he saw his old flat, the bars he used to drink in and the supermarkets he used to shop in. He said it was actually quite freaky as not much has changed at all. In fact the bread and pate that used to be part of his staple diet were still being sold in exactly the same spot in the supermarket. Chris didn’t get presents for the team as there was nothing to buy (except for some big tic tacs for him and Sophie - it’s a long story). He said there is not really that much to do in Luxembourg in all honesty but it’s very picturesque. Daves only ever driven through it and never stayed. The most bizarre part of the weekend for Chris was watching a European version of Reborn In The USA on Luxembourg TV called Comeback. It featured Haddaway, The Weather Girls, Limahl and Coolio. Chris promised to talk more about it later in the show but forgot. Amongst this fun packed weekend there was still time for him to watch yesterdays Leeds - Liverpool match down the pub. Chris congratulated Leeds on the performance (they drew 2-2) and also congratulated Middlesbrough on their first trophy in 128 years after they beat Bolton 2-1 in The Carling Cup Final. Chris only saw the first 5 minutes of that game as Sophie had let him watch one match so he thought he better not push his luck. Dave on the other hand was more fortunate as Emma couldn’t tell the difference between the two games due to the kits being the same colour, so she thought he was just watching some special 4 hour match. Dave congratulated Everton on beating Aston Villa 2-0, but Rachel didn’t want to talk about the 5-0 thrashing the Kiddy Harriers got on Friday night. She was actually back in Kiddy over the weekend and got recognised, but insisted she wasn’t signing any autographs yet. After covering most genres of music in his first two months of Buzz Off choices, Chris decided to go for a parody this morning. He chose Weird Al Yankovic’s version of Avril’s Complicated, from his album Poodle Hat. It got a surprisingly good reaction on the texts as it was played in full. Dave buzzed first on 1 minute 12 seconds, Rach next on 1:22 and Aled third on 3:10.

CHART CHAT WITH <s>WES</s> SCOTT MILLS:
Mills was covering the chart yesterday for young Wesley, who is out in San Francisco and LA on his hols at the mo. To celebrate the show, Scott went out for a few drinks last night and didn’t get to bed until 2am. Chris knew Scott had been down the boozer as Rachel had grassed him up after talking to his producer Lynne. Scott tried to take the mick out of Rach in his mumbled response but he sounded so rough that you couldn’t make out a word he was saying...
Chris - How are you?
Scott - In bed...
Chris - Right...I don’t know, how are you in bed?
(Scott laughs)
Dave (laughing) - Average I’ve heard
Chris - Really? I’ve heard quite the opposite. I’ve heard he’s like a stallion..
(Dave and Scott laugh)

Some listeners were showing appreciation for Scott’s new sound. Kerry texted in to say that he sounded really fit and she wondered if he looked as good as he sounded in real life. Methinks he’s not quite her type. This week (for understandable reasons) Chris wanted to talk a bit more about the chart than usual...
Chris - I would like to send congratulations on behalf of all the breakfast show team to Love Inc, who stormed in to the chart with a new entry at this weeks number 39 - “In To The Night”....or “In To The Bargain Bin” as it might be next week
(Scott laughs)
Chris - By the way Love Inc...don’t feel bad, you were only beaten by “Bernie Nolan” at number 38
(Scott and Dave laugh)

The real reason Chris wanted to talk about the chart though was of course because Mr Peter Andre went straight in at number one yesterday, selling 107, 877 copies of Mysterious Girl this week. That makes it inside this years top 10 selling singles so far...and it’s all Chris’s fault. Chris is still a bit angry that proceeds from the song are going to charidee and not in his back pocket. He told Mills that 5 pence from each copy sold should go to him as you don’t see people out in the street with their tins “collecting for Moyles”. Thereafter followed Chris and Dave singing “I see you baby, shaking that tin” in a Groove Armada stylee, much to Scott’s amusement. It is safe to listen to Radio 1 on your way home now as Scott is filling in for Coxy all this and next week from 3, presumably meaning that with his weekend show as well he’ll be on the air every day for the next 2 weeks.

*SHOCK HORROR* PETER ANDRE LIVE IN THE STUDIO:
Image
He’s been on the show more than Aled these past few weeks and Peter was back on between 8:15 and 8:30 this morning for a post-number one chat with Chris. Breaking with tradition he started by calling him a legend and delivered a very special framed Gold Disc to the show to thank them for all their support. Chris replayed the clip of him talking to Mills on the chart yesterday and Peter said he was just a bit overwhelmed. Dave called it “a tear-jerking appointment”. With all the proceeds from Mysterious Girl going to the NSPCC, Andre said Chris would have to wait a bit longer for his Ferrari...perhaps if he supports Insania (which will be the next single) in such a way. God please no. Peter once again invited Chris on to Top Of The Pops this Friday to rap live in place of Bubbler Ranx, but Chris said he didn’t need to as the real man himself has been found now...
Peter - Oh so has he stopped working at Sainsburys in Lewisham now?
Chris - Yeah, we think he’s working at the Carphone Warehouse now
Dave - He’s certainly a big name in retail...that we’re sure of

Chris said he’d meet up with Peter for a drink in the pub at some point this week. He also noticed that in just a few weeks Peter’s entourage has risen hugely. Chris joked he is now making showbiz demands such as what colour M&M'S he eats. This set Peter off on a bizarre story involving M&M'S, racism and ecstasy tablets. It wasn’t as troublesome as it seemed at first but Dave quickly tried to sweep it under the carpet by giving a timecheck and calling it Info-tainment.

ST DAVIDS DAY:>>>>With today being St David’s Day, all the shows jingles were sung by The Chris Moyles Welsh jingle singers this morning. Here they are in English if you didn’t understand them...
JINGLE 1:“We'll celebrate St. David's Day with Chris and Dave and Dom,
and Jules and Rach and Aled - and every Harry, Dick and Tom,
So Iechyd da from Wales on our own special day,
So remember to stick your daffodils everywhere in every way!
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio 1”
JINGLE 2:“Good morning everybody and welcome to the noise in here,
To Chris Moyles with his stubble and his breath which stinks of beer,
He's friends with Peter Andre and all others - straight or gays,
He looks like Terry Wogan but his hair's his own (he claims!),
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio 1”
JINGLE 3:“Today is Dydd Gwyl Dewi, we're the land of the Stereophonics,
Lostprophets, Shakin' Stevens, Charlotte Church and the Manics,
We're better than you in rugby, we just want to give a chance,
To Wilkinson and Robinson cos really they are pants,
The Chris Moyles Show, National Radio 1”

If you really want the welsh lyrics then e-mail me and I’ll send them you (e-mail link is at top of page). Aled was being patriotic and wearing his Wales shirt today. Chris said it was a bit like the Spurs kit in the fact that it doesn’t leave an awful lot to the imagination. Chris said Aled had decided against wearing the shorts though as they would show off his fat arse and short hairy legs. In celebration of St David’s Day, Umbro had sent Chris, Dave and Rachel erm, England shirts. The new red away kit in fact. Chris had been sent it in extra large of course, while Rachel settled for something tighter. Chris said it made her breasts look fantastic and he said if she goes to watch a game in the pub with that on she won’t have to buy a drink all night. I got the impression from what I heard Chappers say on Scott Mills show this afternoon that there will be a competition running on both Chris and Scott’s shows involving the giving away of England shirts and other England related prizes next week. Dom was wearing a nice Paul Smith shirt today that he ironed himself this morning. His young son Finton woke him up at 1:30 so he spent the three hours before coming to work ironing and watching The Oscars. Chris was surprised Dom’s mate Renée Zellweger didn’t thank him in her acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actress, but he said she must not have had time. There was also a new secret revealed about Dom today - he used to be the singer in a North London band called Gutter Star and they once got a mention in Melody Maker (admittedly saying they were crap). Chris wanted to check out Dom’s vocal talents and he went off rehearsing a karaoke Elvis number for half an hour. When it came to him singing at the end of the show though, Chris interrupted him and said there wasn’t enough time.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE - ST DAVIDS DAY WELSH EDITION:
LEWIS a wacky bank worker & (surprise surprise) hospital radio DJ from Abergavenny 2
RACHEL a sexy sounding 25 year old trainee teacher from Carmarthen 1

Daves Tedious Link
Bass-O-Matic Fascinating Rhythm - Rhythm is one of the few words in the English language that contains no vowels - Vowels and consonants are handed out to Countdown Contestants by Carol Vorderman - Carol Vorderman is from North Wales, as is Lisa Scott Lee formerly of Steps - Steps are also known as Stairs - Stairs for some people can be a problem but this problem can be eliminated with the installation of a stairlift from Stannah - Stannah shouldn’t be mistaken for Stena who operate cross channel ferries - Ferries to the Isle Of Wight sail from Southampton - Southampton is both nice and great - Great Balls Of Fire was a big hit for Jerry Lee Lewis in 1957 - 1957 was the year that saw the birth of both Dawn French and Osama Bin Laden - Osama Bin Laden is famous for having a beard, as is Ricky Tomlinson - Ricky Tomlinson starred in the Royle Family - and the theme tune to the Royle Family was written and performed by Oasis - Which again links us to Oasis and Live Forever (it’s second Tedious Link play on Breakfast already)

AND DON’T FORGET...KYLIE IS LIVE ON THE SHOW TOMORROW
Chris this morning gave one lucky listener the chance for them and a friend to come down to the show tomorrow and meet Kylie and the team. The task was to text KYLIE to 81199 when they heard Chris slip some Kylie lyrics in to a link. They were from Tears On My Pillow and Chris picked a random line from the correct answers....and he thanked the lord he chose Line 3. On it was Karen Savage from Widnes, who was not only a huge Kylie fan but was a 23 year old student nurse with a TWIN SISTER who she is going to bring with her tomorrow. Karen cried because she’d won (always good for the figures). Chris said there would be tears running down his eyes tomorrow. As she carried on crying, Chris announced “Congratulations you’ve just made todays retro trail”. Dave said “Kylie Minogue and 2 identical twin student nurse sisters...its the best job in the world”.

Sat and today are up