chrismoyles.net
- Thu Feb 12, 2004 5:24 pm
#241858
1. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. The Strokes - Reptilia, 3. Room 5 feat Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv, 4. Beenie Man feat Ms.Thing - Dude, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Dandy Warhols - Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth, 6. Ultrabeat - Pretty Green Eyes 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Kelis - Milkshake, 8. Jason Nevins feat Holly James - I’m In Heaven, 9. Pink - God Is A DJ 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. D. Kay & Epsilon feat Stamina MC - Barcelona, 11. Stereophonics - Movie Star, 12. Jamie Cullum - Frontin' (Live Lounge - Jo Whiley’s show yesterday), 13. 50 Cent - In Da Club 8:30 NEWSBEAT 14. Mis-Teeq - One Night Stand, 15. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 16. Busta Rhymes feat Mariah Carey - I Know What You Want, 17. No Doubt - Just A Girl (Tedious Link), 18. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 19. Fatman Scoop - It Takes Scoop, 20. Coldplay - Clocks, 21. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Good Charlotte - Boys & Girls, 23. Jamelia - Thank You, 24. Jay-Z - Change Clothes, 25. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love
For some reason Thursdays breakfast shows are usually the best of the week and that pattern continued this morning with the show sounding better today than it has done for months upon months, if not years. Chris was feeling perky after his big lie-in yesterday but it was an altogether different story for Comedy Dave this morning, after Everton got thumped 3-0 at Birmingham last night. Chris said Daves face when he got news of the result last night was some picture. Daves mood wasn’t helped by the wife grabbing his cheeks and kissing him, saying it was only a game and he wasn’t to worry. Shockingly Everton are now only 5 points above Leeds in the league and to rub salt into Daves wounds even more, Chris played the Birmingham goals this morning. Surprisingly there was almost no Footballers Wives chat at all in todays show following the start of the new series last night. The main reason being the fact that Dave hasn’t seen it yet. Chris and Rachel have as they were given preview tapes. Instead, Chris talked about the new reality show that starts on five at the weekend, called Back To Reality. It has taken 12 of Britain’s most “well-known” reality stars and they will live together for 3 weeks in a purposely built house inside a TV studio. The reality star line up is fat pig Rik Waller, slightly less of a fat pig Jade Goody, Catalina, Josie D’Arby, James Hewitt, Craig Phillips, Maureen from Driving School, that (spoon) bender Uri Geller, Lizzie Bardsley from Wifeswap, Sarah Kozer the runner-up in Joe Millionaire who’s been in Playboy and Ricardo from The Salon who Dave thinks looks like Louise Redknapp on steroids. Chris is looking forward to the show a lot. It will be presented by Tess Daly and Richard Bacon and begins on five this Sunday at 8pm. See http://www.five.tv/programmes/backtoreality/ for more. Aled was at the press launch yesterday where he looked around the house (see below pic) and managed to grab a word with Tess and Richard. Continuing with the theme started by Juliette last week, Aled asked them both what their favourite cheese was. Tess said brie and Richard said Double Gloucester as it was good for cheese on crumpets, something Dave didn’t find particularly appealing. Aled asked them both if they listen to Chris’s breakfast show. They said yes (good to see Bacon is ignoring Christian O’Connell on XFM, the station he works for BTW). Aled got a bit carried away as they expressed their knowledge of the show to him and he invited them to come in to the studio tomorrow. They accepted and will be in live tomorrow after 7:30am.
Chris talked about the fact that the US is still up in arms over the whole SuperBowl Janet Jackson breast fiasco. Chris said it was understandable - she should have got them both out. He said he is planning a similar stunt at next weeks Brits. He suggested he go on stage and then Dave run on and peel one of his man boobs out...
Dave - But then it wouldn’t be the Brits, it’d be the t.....7:36
Chris - Why didn’t you do the gag?
Dave - Are we allowed to say that? Well it is a kind of bird I suppose
Chris - You could have said it
Dave - Well Rachel scowls at me when I say stuff like that
Rachel - The moments passed now
(brief pause)
Chris - Tits
(Everyone laughs, plays jingle)
Following on from the high brow discussion on breasts, Chris went upstairs to his desk drawer to fetch an e-mail he has kept for almost 6 years. It was sent when he did early breakfast on the 11th March 1998 by a girl called Maria. She sent an attachment with an A-Z of words for breasts. Chris read some out although Dave was a bit reluctant to join in as they got in trouble the last time they did something similar. Dominic was having some pronunciation problems with one of the news items today. So much so that he changed clips so he didn’t need to say the name “Woo Suk Hwang”, something Chris picked up on. Dave and Chris were in hysterics as Dom repeated it, although Chris pretended they weren’t laughing at the name but at Aled dancing instead. Following yesterdays Leeds United based Buzz Off, things were back to normal today with the quality Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth by The Dandy Warhols. Dave buzzed on 1:20, Aled on 1:48, the listeners on 2:29 and Rach on 2:58 (less than 10 seconds before the end of the song). Chris also played a version of Pharrell and Jay-Z’s Frontin' recorded in the live lounge for Jo Whiley yesterday by Jamie Cullum. It was quite good but seemed to go on forever. The show had been sent a Valentines present which Dave opened. It was a flower and stella combo with beer and cards for Chris and Dave. Dave moaned that Emma is expecting presents on Saturday, which leaded nicely into a re-telling of the classic “Dave and the everlasting rose from the BP Garage” story. As a kind of rival to Daves Valentines Tips, Chris had changed the lyrics of some classic Xmas carols and recorded them as “Valentines Carols”. Chris managed to rhyme candle flickers with “hope I get into your knickers” at one point. Dave said it was good to see these carols were straight to the point and didn’t beat around the bush (so to speak). Tonight the team are all off to the NME Awards which are being hosted by Vermin Kay. Although they don’t stand a cat in hells chance of winning Best Radio Show, they are still going for the free ale and Aled for his woo woos. They are up against Zane Lowe, Lamacq, Colin & Edith and Ricky Gervais & Steven Merchant for the radio award. No doubt there will be tales aplenty from the awards on tomorrows show.
NATALIE CASSIDY INTERVIEW:
Natalie (who plays Sonia in EastEnders) was on the phone after half seven, in the back of a car on her way to GMTV. Chris congratulated her on shedding a bit of weight recently. She said she hadn’t lost that much and wasn’t quite stick-thin just yet. Chris said he sees himself and Natalie as cuddly. Him more so though cos he’s fatter. Chris talked about a storyline from years ago in Albert Square when Sonia played the trumpet. Chris asked if that storyline actually did lead anywhere in the end. She said no as the EastEnders script writers tend to drift off easily. Dave tried to impress the class with his limited knowledge of trumpets. Chris asked Natalie if she can help get a clip of the Moyles Show on the radio in the caf and she said she’d see what she could do. According to Dave they were actually asked to be on the caf radio many moons ago, back in the days where they were also turning down walk on parts in Grange Hill. Dave said that was purely because “We didn’t like the script” and “it just didn’t suit our acting styles”. As Chris and Dave had just been going through the A-Z of breasts they set Natalie the task of fitting the word “moo moos” into her GMTV interview at 8:30. Natalie came across really well and Chris invited her into the studio to come and see them. This probably won’t happen though as Chris has already invited Davina, Pip Schofield, Charlie Brooks and Peter Andre onto the show this year.
RUN YOUR BRITS OFF - DAY 4:
INSIDE THE BRITS VIRTUAL BACKSTAGE SIMULATOR - Jennifer a really cute sounding 23 year old who is half American and half British. She was born in England but her mum is from Texas and she picked up the American accent during 4 years at uni over there. She is now working as a librarian at a primary school in Norfolk. Cos she annoyingly got 5 right Dave suggested they bring in a new rule that says the shortest contestant wins. Jennifer is only a teeny weeny 4ft 10 so she was happy with that.
SCORE - 5 (the top 3 scores of the week are all 5 - meaning there could be one huge tie-breaker tomorrow)
CHRIS MOYLES SHOW VS JO WHILEY SHOW - “HATGATE”:
The Moyles Show decided to kidnap the trusty N*E*R*D hat always worn by Jo’s producer Piers Bradford today. In return for the hat being given back, Chris set Jo the forfeit of saying “I love Leeds United” in the first 15 minutes of her show. Just as Chris announced this (about 9:40), Jo burst into the studio looking for the aforementioned hat. The team said they didn’t have it with Aled in particular sounding quite scared. At the ten o’clock handover Jo decided Dave was the guilty party and started playing the Birmingham goals from last nights game again. Dave protested his innocence and during her first link returned the cap to her, to give to Piers. She asked him who had stolen it in the first place and Dave accused Aled, saying he hates Jo. At this point the welshman burst through the doors of the studio shouting it wasn’t him but in fact Jules, who you could hear laughing with Chris in the distance. Jo told Aled to get out of her studio as the breakfast show time was up. She also didn’t go along with Chris’s view that she was “Up for a bit of Moyles”. He made this point during the last minute of the show...
Chris - Jo’s next, who wants me by the way
Dave - She doesn’t want you, it’s not lust in her eye it’s dust
Chris - Shut Up
(cue laughter from Aled and Will Kinder who must just have arrived - I recognise that laugh anywhere)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
RYAN who works for an electrical distribution company in Guernsey 2
TINA from Exeter who works for the same company (and has bedded Lee) 0
Through some totally freak occurrence (it wasn’t planned honestly) the two callers on Carpark Catchphrase today actually knew each other....and very well indeed. Ryan is from Exeter and used to work with Tina.
Chris - So have you two done it?
Ryan - What do you mean “done it”?
Chris - Well, you know. Have you Tina?
Tina - ....can’t possibly comment Chris
Chris - OH MY GOD! Our Carpark Catchphrase contestants have had sex with each other!
(Aled makes a high pitched scream in the background)
Tina wouldn’t confirm the rumours they had done it in Ryans van although he didn’t hold back and said they had - and more than once. Chris said that when “Ryan’s van is a rockin don’t you dare come a knockin”.
Tina (talking about her and Ryan) - We’re just long time muckers
(pause)
Dave - Muckers she said
(Chris laughs)
Daves Tedious Link
U2 Even Better Than The Real Thing - U2’s drummer is called Larry - Larry Hagman starred in Dallas - Dallas is home of the Dallas Cowboys - Cowboys are skilled in the arts of rodeo and lasoo - The word Lasoo shouldn’t be mistaken for Lassie who was the worlds most famous collie - Cauliflower is a primary ingredient in the dish Cauliflower Cheese - Cheese is what a photographer may say before taking a picture of you - Picture Of You was a 1997 hit for Boyzone - Boyzone star Keith Duffy is now an actor and in that respect shares something in common with Piers Brosnan - Piers Brosnan is Irish of course - Irish immigrants fled to America during the potato famine - The word famine interestingly shares many of the same letters as the word Eminem - Eminem starred in the recent autobiographical blockbuster 8 Mile - 8 Mile is approximately the difference between Oldham and Rochdale - Rochdale sounds a bit like Rossdale as in Gavin Rossdale from Bush - and Gavin Rossdale from Bush is married to Gwen Stefani, who is of course the lead singer of No Doubt - Which links us to No Doubt and Just A Girl*
*Which was Chris’s Buzz Off choice on Wednesday 7th January - When Dave buzzed it off on 50 seconds saying he didn’t like it, yet now he’s picked it as a Tedious Link. Dave said he hasn’t necessarily grown to like it more because “Where the link goes nobody knows”.
For some reason Thursdays breakfast shows are usually the best of the week and that pattern continued this morning with the show sounding better today than it has done for months upon months, if not years. Chris was feeling perky after his big lie-in yesterday but it was an altogether different story for Comedy Dave this morning, after Everton got thumped 3-0 at Birmingham last night. Chris said Daves face when he got news of the result last night was some picture. Daves mood wasn’t helped by the wife grabbing his cheeks and kissing him, saying it was only a game and he wasn’t to worry. Shockingly Everton are now only 5 points above Leeds in the league and to rub salt into Daves wounds even more, Chris played the Birmingham goals this morning. Surprisingly there was almost no Footballers Wives chat at all in todays show following the start of the new series last night. The main reason being the fact that Dave hasn’t seen it yet. Chris and Rachel have as they were given preview tapes. Instead, Chris talked about the new reality show that starts on five at the weekend, called Back To Reality. It has taken 12 of Britain’s most “well-known” reality stars and they will live together for 3 weeks in a purposely built house inside a TV studio. The reality star line up is fat pig Rik Waller, slightly less of a fat pig Jade Goody, Catalina, Josie D’Arby, James Hewitt, Craig Phillips, Maureen from Driving School, that (spoon) bender Uri Geller, Lizzie Bardsley from Wifeswap, Sarah Kozer the runner-up in Joe Millionaire who’s been in Playboy and Ricardo from The Salon who Dave thinks looks like Louise Redknapp on steroids. Chris is looking forward to the show a lot. It will be presented by Tess Daly and Richard Bacon and begins on five this Sunday at 8pm. See http://www.five.tv/programmes/backtoreality/ for more. Aled was at the press launch yesterday where he looked around the house (see below pic) and managed to grab a word with Tess and Richard. Continuing with the theme started by Juliette last week, Aled asked them both what their favourite cheese was. Tess said brie and Richard said Double Gloucester as it was good for cheese on crumpets, something Dave didn’t find particularly appealing. Aled asked them both if they listen to Chris’s breakfast show. They said yes (good to see Bacon is ignoring Christian O’Connell on XFM, the station he works for BTW). Aled got a bit carried away as they expressed their knowledge of the show to him and he invited them to come in to the studio tomorrow. They accepted and will be in live tomorrow after 7:30am.
Chris talked about the fact that the US is still up in arms over the whole SuperBowl Janet Jackson breast fiasco. Chris said it was understandable - she should have got them both out. He said he is planning a similar stunt at next weeks Brits. He suggested he go on stage and then Dave run on and peel one of his man boobs out...
Dave - But then it wouldn’t be the Brits, it’d be the t.....7:36
Chris - Why didn’t you do the gag?
Dave - Are we allowed to say that? Well it is a kind of bird I suppose
Chris - You could have said it
Dave - Well Rachel scowls at me when I say stuff like that
Rachel - The moments passed now
(brief pause)
Chris - Tits
(Everyone laughs, plays jingle)
Following on from the high brow discussion on breasts, Chris went upstairs to his desk drawer to fetch an e-mail he has kept for almost 6 years. It was sent when he did early breakfast on the 11th March 1998 by a girl called Maria. She sent an attachment with an A-Z of words for breasts. Chris read some out although Dave was a bit reluctant to join in as they got in trouble the last time they did something similar. Dominic was having some pronunciation problems with one of the news items today. So much so that he changed clips so he didn’t need to say the name “Woo Suk Hwang”, something Chris picked up on. Dave and Chris were in hysterics as Dom repeated it, although Chris pretended they weren’t laughing at the name but at Aled dancing instead. Following yesterdays Leeds United based Buzz Off, things were back to normal today with the quality Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth by The Dandy Warhols. Dave buzzed on 1:20, Aled on 1:48, the listeners on 2:29 and Rach on 2:58 (less than 10 seconds before the end of the song). Chris also played a version of Pharrell and Jay-Z’s Frontin' recorded in the live lounge for Jo Whiley yesterday by Jamie Cullum. It was quite good but seemed to go on forever. The show had been sent a Valentines present which Dave opened. It was a flower and stella combo with beer and cards for Chris and Dave. Dave moaned that Emma is expecting presents on Saturday, which leaded nicely into a re-telling of the classic “Dave and the everlasting rose from the BP Garage” story. As a kind of rival to Daves Valentines Tips, Chris had changed the lyrics of some classic Xmas carols and recorded them as “Valentines Carols”. Chris managed to rhyme candle flickers with “hope I get into your knickers” at one point. Dave said it was good to see these carols were straight to the point and didn’t beat around the bush (so to speak). Tonight the team are all off to the NME Awards which are being hosted by Vermin Kay. Although they don’t stand a cat in hells chance of winning Best Radio Show, they are still going for the free ale and Aled for his woo woos. They are up against Zane Lowe, Lamacq, Colin & Edith and Ricky Gervais & Steven Merchant for the radio award. No doubt there will be tales aplenty from the awards on tomorrows show.
NATALIE CASSIDY INTERVIEW:
Natalie (who plays Sonia in EastEnders) was on the phone after half seven, in the back of a car on her way to GMTV. Chris congratulated her on shedding a bit of weight recently. She said she hadn’t lost that much and wasn’t quite stick-thin just yet. Chris said he sees himself and Natalie as cuddly. Him more so though cos he’s fatter. Chris talked about a storyline from years ago in Albert Square when Sonia played the trumpet. Chris asked if that storyline actually did lead anywhere in the end. She said no as the EastEnders script writers tend to drift off easily. Dave tried to impress the class with his limited knowledge of trumpets. Chris asked Natalie if she can help get a clip of the Moyles Show on the radio in the caf and she said she’d see what she could do. According to Dave they were actually asked to be on the caf radio many moons ago, back in the days where they were also turning down walk on parts in Grange Hill. Dave said that was purely because “We didn’t like the script” and “it just didn’t suit our acting styles”. As Chris and Dave had just been going through the A-Z of breasts they set Natalie the task of fitting the word “moo moos” into her GMTV interview at 8:30. Natalie came across really well and Chris invited her into the studio to come and see them. This probably won’t happen though as Chris has already invited Davina, Pip Schofield, Charlie Brooks and Peter Andre onto the show this year.
RUN YOUR BRITS OFF - DAY 4:
INSIDE THE BRITS VIRTUAL BACKSTAGE SIMULATOR - Jennifer a really cute sounding 23 year old who is half American and half British. She was born in England but her mum is from Texas and she picked up the American accent during 4 years at uni over there. She is now working as a librarian at a primary school in Norfolk. Cos she annoyingly got 5 right Dave suggested they bring in a new rule that says the shortest contestant wins. Jennifer is only a teeny weeny 4ft 10 so she was happy with that.
SCORE - 5 (the top 3 scores of the week are all 5 - meaning there could be one huge tie-breaker tomorrow)
CHRIS MOYLES SHOW VS JO WHILEY SHOW - “HATGATE”:
The Moyles Show decided to kidnap the trusty N*E*R*D hat always worn by Jo’s producer Piers Bradford today. In return for the hat being given back, Chris set Jo the forfeit of saying “I love Leeds United” in the first 15 minutes of her show. Just as Chris announced this (about 9:40), Jo burst into the studio looking for the aforementioned hat. The team said they didn’t have it with Aled in particular sounding quite scared. At the ten o’clock handover Jo decided Dave was the guilty party and started playing the Birmingham goals from last nights game again. Dave protested his innocence and during her first link returned the cap to her, to give to Piers. She asked him who had stolen it in the first place and Dave accused Aled, saying he hates Jo. At this point the welshman burst through the doors of the studio shouting it wasn’t him but in fact Jules, who you could hear laughing with Chris in the distance. Jo told Aled to get out of her studio as the breakfast show time was up. She also didn’t go along with Chris’s view that she was “Up for a bit of Moyles”. He made this point during the last minute of the show...
Chris - Jo’s next, who wants me by the way
Dave - She doesn’t want you, it’s not lust in her eye it’s dust
Chris - Shut Up
(cue laughter from Aled and Will Kinder who must just have arrived - I recognise that laugh anywhere)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
RYAN who works for an electrical distribution company in Guernsey 2
TINA from Exeter who works for the same company (and has bedded Lee) 0
Through some totally freak occurrence (it wasn’t planned honestly) the two callers on Carpark Catchphrase today actually knew each other....and very well indeed. Ryan is from Exeter and used to work with Tina.
Chris - So have you two done it?
Ryan - What do you mean “done it”?
Chris - Well, you know. Have you Tina?
Tina - ....can’t possibly comment Chris
Chris - OH MY GOD! Our Carpark Catchphrase contestants have had sex with each other!
(Aled makes a high pitched scream in the background)
Tina wouldn’t confirm the rumours they had done it in Ryans van although he didn’t hold back and said they had - and more than once. Chris said that when “Ryan’s van is a rockin don’t you dare come a knockin”.
Tina (talking about her and Ryan) - We’re just long time muckers
(pause)
Dave - Muckers she said
(Chris laughs)
Daves Tedious Link
U2 Even Better Than The Real Thing - U2’s drummer is called Larry - Larry Hagman starred in Dallas - Dallas is home of the Dallas Cowboys - Cowboys are skilled in the arts of rodeo and lasoo - The word Lasoo shouldn’t be mistaken for Lassie who was the worlds most famous collie - Cauliflower is a primary ingredient in the dish Cauliflower Cheese - Cheese is what a photographer may say before taking a picture of you - Picture Of You was a 1997 hit for Boyzone - Boyzone star Keith Duffy is now an actor and in that respect shares something in common with Piers Brosnan - Piers Brosnan is Irish of course - Irish immigrants fled to America during the potato famine - The word famine interestingly shares many of the same letters as the word Eminem - Eminem starred in the recent autobiographical blockbuster 8 Mile - 8 Mile is approximately the difference between Oldham and Rochdale - Rochdale sounds a bit like Rossdale as in Gavin Rossdale from Bush - and Gavin Rossdale from Bush is married to Gwen Stefani, who is of course the lead singer of No Doubt - Which links us to No Doubt and Just A Girl*
*Which was Chris’s Buzz Off choice on Wednesday 7th January - When Dave buzzed it off on 50 seconds saying he didn’t like it, yet now he’s picked it as a Tedious Link. Dave said he hasn’t necessarily grown to like it more because “Where the link goes nobody knows”.
