chrismoyles.net
- Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:00 pm
#241830
BIG CHRIS MOYLES SHOW INTRO 1. The Move - Flowers In The Rain, 2. U2 - Beautiful Day, 3. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body, 4. Pink - God Is A DJ, 5. BUZZ OFF - Lightning Seeds - Change, 6. 50 Cent - In Da Club 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Kylie Minogue - Can’t Get You Out Of My Head (segway), 8. Outkast - Hey Ya, 9. Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules - Mad World, 10. Avril Lavigne - Complicated 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 12. Coldplay - In My Place, 13. Victoria Beckham - This Groove, 14. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Ultrabeat - Feelin' Fine (segway), 16. Jamelia - Superstar, 17. Muse - Hysteria, 18. Nelly - Hot In Herre, 19. The Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? (TEDIOUS LINK - NOW AT 9AM), 20. Nelly Furtado - Powerless (segway), 21. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy, 22. The Strokes - Reptilia, 23. MOYLES PARODY/Sophie E-Bextor - I Won’t Change You 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Oakenfold - Starry Eyed Surprise (segway), 25. Dido - Life For Rent, 26. Rachel Stevens - Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex, 27. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck
The first ever Chris Moyles breakfast show began with the pips for 7am interrupting Nemone’s last song (The Darkness) as it faded away. What followed for the next 5 minutes and 16 seconds was perhaps the most (as Dave put it) “quietly understated” breakfast show opener of all time. It was a song/jingle all about the history of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show past and indeed present, sung by a team of gospel singers (called Andrea, Ros and Lincoln - see here for more. It included old clips of Tony Blackburn, Noel Edmonds and DLT. That’s when we pick up the lyrics:
“Along came Simon Mayo, he was young, gifted and single,
After 5 long years on the air, people only remember his jingle (jingle plays),
But since the days of Simon Mayo, things have never been the same again,
And the breakfast show since 99 has had a notable lack of men,
So Goodbye to Zoe, see you later to Cox,
You’re contract has expired so get back in your box,
Those days have all gone now but do not shed a tear,
From now until they fire his ass, the saviour is here”
Thereafter followed the words “The Chris Moyles Show” sung what seemed like over a thousand times and whenever the song had a big finish and seemed to be ending, a key change would kick in with the words “The Chris Moyles Show” and it would start back up again. After about five or six key changes it finally ended with “On National Radio One” and the sound of fireworks going off behind it to give it the full production. Chris began in true Tony Blackburn fashion by playing the first record ever played on Radio 1 (The Move - Flowers In The Rain) as the first record on his new show. Not wanting to go too overboard with everything, Chris’s next record was “Beautiful Day” by U2 which featured a fantastic new liner in true Tony The Tiger stylee from American Paul up to the vocal - “Chris, Dave, Rachel and Aled - The forecast for today is Grrrrrrreat’. Predictably it wasn’t long until football was mentioned. Rachel's beloved Kidderminster Harriers drew 1-1 with Wolves in The FA Cup on Saturday and she was there. Chris understandably didn’t want to talk about Leeds’ 4-1 thrashing by Arsenal and said now they are out, he is backing Kiddy for the cup. Chris talked about how he got married to an old school friend in Vegas over the weekend (Britney gag if you’ve been on Mars the last couple of days) at 7.18, Dave thought perhaps too early for people to have scanned the papers. Chris talked about the fact that on afternoons you don’t have to tell the time, whereas on breakfast radio you do. He put on his fake cheesy local DJ voice and did an analogy involving buses and the time, which was far too much for Dave to understand at that time in the morning. Chris also made a point of saying hello to all the radio critics listening in to slag him off and said it definitely wasn’t him who had scheduled the Pink song “God Is A DJ” a quarter of an hour into his debut. Incidentally Dave still thinks Pink looks like Eddie Izzard.
Chris kept to his tradition of 2 segwayed songs out of the news. However there is no longer news at 7.15 or 7.45 meaning only 4 news bulletins in the show. The news and sport team are (as expected) DOMINIC BRYNE and....JULIETTE FERRINGTON. Chris texted Jules to wish her good luck last night but she was watching the darts so didn’t reply (classy bird). At 7.30 and 8.30 there was a “new look news” where Chris would talk about the stories with Dom and Jules during the bulletin, rather than at the end. To say it didn’t work would be an understatement. I would think it will be given until the end of the week but if there is no improvement then it will be back to normal (new newsbeat jingles today BTW). Chris’s new jingles continued throughout the show with some more genius lyrics:
“We’re here to entertain you, each morning from seven,
we finish up at ten, then we leave at half eleven,
If you listen every morning and think our show is funny,
The figures will go up and we’ll get paid much more money”
Dominic gave an in-depth weather report at 8.30:
Dom - The weather is rubbish..
(Everyone laughs)
Dom - What?..dark and dank..
Chris - What’s dank?
Dom - It’s a word my grandma uses
Chris - Was she insane?
Dom - No, she ISN’T insane.
Chris (laughing) - Oh, good morning luv.
(Everyone laughs again)
Chris talked about the TV ad for his new show starring him as a binman. He said Comedy Dave is in the ad, but blink and you miss him. He gave the times the ad would be shown today and after watching it again I think Dave is....wait for it...the milkman. Judge for yourself by viewing it here (WARNING - you’ll need a Real One player though). Wes *love child of Steve Penk* Butters was on at 7.45 to talk about the chart. He wasn’t on tape though and was live (and sounding rough) from his flat. He had got up at 6.55 (not the only one) to listen to the show. Chris played Chart Maths with Wes. He tested him on what number songs would be at if they dropped 11 or 15 places etc. Wes got five out of six questions wrong. Chris asked how he had managed to get his job. Wes said he’d left his abacus in the other room.
POSH SPICE INTERVIEW:
She was live from the Beckham Madrid household at about 8.15. Chris said she was obviously tuned in on her Sky Plus. Chris talked briefly about her getting to number 3 in the charts yesterday but was getting nowhere with his chat about Sophie Ellis-Bextor. He backtracked and asked what Romeo and Brooklyn (driving around on their toy bikes in the background) were having for breakfast.
Victoria - Toast and cereal
Chris - Ahhh...what a chef you are
(Everyone laughs)
Chris told her about the pictures of her skiing in todays papers. She said she got stuck as her arse wouldn’t let her slide down properly. Chris said he didn’t have any problem with his arse and said she could slide down on it anytime...good mornin’ (note the t-shirt above). Chris gave unfunny advice about how to speak Spanish and said she should pop in on the show when she’s back in the UK on Friday. Posh asked Chris how his mum was and asked him which of her songs he was going to play. He said “This Groove”. Dave she sounded restfallen. Chris played a new parody of I Won’t Change You by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, highlighting the hugely crap lyrics in it. My favourite line from Chris’s version was - “Then I’ll go and change my style, cos I can write a hit record without a crocodile”. Jo Whiley popped in to give a welcoming present to the team (well not to one of them), a spudgun and some potatoes “to fire at Aled when he gets annoying”. Dave said “Ah, she’s heard the show”. Aled wasn’t impressed and had a go at Jo for wearing a pink top today. I say bring back ‘Fire At Will’ but with Aled instead (for comedy value only of course).
NEW FEATURES:
BUZZ OFF (0720)
First new feature at 20 past 7. It involves Chris bringing in a record from home and playing it. When Dave, Aled, Rachel and the listeners have all had enough it is cut however. Dave thought of it (as usual) as “Interactive play at home fun”. 2,000 texts on 81199 counted for the listeners and it only took 1 min 22 until everyone was bored of todays song, Changes from The Lightning Seeds. First to buzz was Dave (he just wanted to be first), Aled, Rachel and then the listeners. Chris used the Guess Who incorrect sound effect for each of them.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE (0940)
As predicted by moi previously (check the October 10th 2003 review) Carpark Catchphrase has been given a permanent slot on the new show. (Unlike something called “On The Buses” which didn’t make it through the pilots). The basic idea is 2 callers in car parks press their horns to guess the Catchphrase Chris describes to them. TV Catchphrase legend Roy Walker had recorded some ultra cheesy drops and jingles (making it quite possibly the most over produced quiz in the history of British radio) and with cheesed up backing music and Mr Fish (not Chips for copyright reasons) ready to go, the feature was up and running.
SCORE: :
LISA from York 2
MATT from Chatham 1 (after Matt screwed up the line “Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched”).
Victoria Newton has asked Bizarre readers in The Sun to rate Chris’s first show. You can fill out the form online at <A HREF=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles/features/show1_report_jan03.shtml> http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles ... an03.shtml </A>. Here’s my ratings (out of 10):
CHAT - 7
MUSIC - 5
NEWS - 4
COMEDY - 6
DAVE, RACHEL, ALED, DOM AND JULIETTE - 6
(JINGLES - *not a real option* - 10)
DAVES TEDIOUS LINK IS BACK!!! Every morning at 9am, under insistence from Parf Daddy. However, I will stick to tradition and post the link at the end of the review every day.
Daves Tedious Link
Oasis What’s The Story Morning Glory - Morning Glory is something you have when you wake up - Wake Up Boo was a big hit for The Boo Radleys - Boo Radley was a name of a character in To Kill A Mocking Bird written of course by Harper Lee - Harper Lee shares the same surname as Franny Lee who used to play for Man City - Man City are managed by Kevin Keegan - Kevin Keegan shares the same christian name as Kevin Woodford the celebrity chef - If you add an “I” to the word chef you get chief which is a term referring to a type of tribal leader in many African and Native American communities - Native Americans traditionally live in a type of tent called a Teepee - Teepee sounds a bit like Taipei which is the capital of Taiwan - Taiwan is entirely surrounded by water making it an island much like Australia and Guernsey - Guernsey is famous for it’s cows - Cows live on farms as do chickens - Chickens lay eggs as do turtles - and when you think of the word Turtles in the context of an early 90’s Madchester baggy band with one of the brothers being Steve Coogan you think of course of The Mock Turtles and Can You Dig It? - Which links us to todays first ever breakfast tedious link The Mock Turtles and Can You Dig It?
Flaws
* It’s Jersey that’s famous for it’s cows not Guernsey. (Spotted by Juliette - well she knows her cows).
(Also second time Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? has been tedious link)
BIG CHRIS MOYLES SHOW INTRO 1. The Move - Flowers In The Rain, 2. U2 - Beautiful Day, 3. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body, 4. Pink - God Is A DJ, 5. BUZZ OFF - Lightning Seeds - Change, 6. 50 Cent - In Da Club 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Kylie Minogue - Can’t Get You Out Of My Head (segway), 8. Outkast - Hey Ya, 9. Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules - Mad World, 10. Avril Lavigne - Complicated 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 12. Coldplay - In My Place, 13. Victoria Beckham - This Groove, 14. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Ultrabeat - Feelin' Fine (segway), 16. Jamelia - Superstar, 17. Muse - Hysteria, 18. Nelly - Hot In Herre, 19. The Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? (TEDIOUS LINK - NOW AT 9AM), 20. Nelly Furtado - Powerless (segway), 21. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy, 22. The Strokes - Reptilia, 23. MOYLES PARODY/Sophie E-Bextor - I Won’t Change You 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Oakenfold - Starry Eyed Surprise (segway), 25. Dido - Life For Rent, 26. Rachel Stevens - Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex, 27. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck
The first ever Chris Moyles breakfast show began with the pips for 7am interrupting Nemone’s last song (The Darkness) as it faded away. What followed for the next 5 minutes and 16 seconds was perhaps the most (as Dave put it) “quietly understated” breakfast show opener of all time. It was a song/jingle all about the history of the Radio 1 Breakfast Show past and indeed present, sung by a team of gospel singers (called Andrea, Ros and Lincoln - see here for more. It included old clips of Tony Blackburn, Noel Edmonds and DLT. That’s when we pick up the lyrics:
“Along came Simon Mayo, he was young, gifted and single,
After 5 long years on the air, people only remember his jingle (jingle plays),
But since the days of Simon Mayo, things have never been the same again,
And the breakfast show since 99 has had a notable lack of men,
So Goodbye to Zoe, see you later to Cox,
You’re contract has expired so get back in your box,
Those days have all gone now but do not shed a tear,
From now until they fire his ass, the saviour is here”
Thereafter followed the words “The Chris Moyles Show” sung what seemed like over a thousand times and whenever the song had a big finish and seemed to be ending, a key change would kick in with the words “The Chris Moyles Show” and it would start back up again. After about five or six key changes it finally ended with “On National Radio One” and the sound of fireworks going off behind it to give it the full production. Chris began in true Tony Blackburn fashion by playing the first record ever played on Radio 1 (The Move - Flowers In The Rain) as the first record on his new show. Not wanting to go too overboard with everything, Chris’s next record was “Beautiful Day” by U2 which featured a fantastic new liner in true Tony The Tiger stylee from American Paul up to the vocal - “Chris, Dave, Rachel and Aled - The forecast for today is Grrrrrrreat’. Predictably it wasn’t long until football was mentioned. Rachel's beloved Kidderminster Harriers drew 1-1 with Wolves in The FA Cup on Saturday and she was there. Chris understandably didn’t want to talk about Leeds’ 4-1 thrashing by Arsenal and said now they are out, he is backing Kiddy for the cup. Chris talked about how he got married to an old school friend in Vegas over the weekend (Britney gag if you’ve been on Mars the last couple of days) at 7.18, Dave thought perhaps too early for people to have scanned the papers. Chris talked about the fact that on afternoons you don’t have to tell the time, whereas on breakfast radio you do. He put on his fake cheesy local DJ voice and did an analogy involving buses and the time, which was far too much for Dave to understand at that time in the morning. Chris also made a point of saying hello to all the radio critics listening in to slag him off and said it definitely wasn’t him who had scheduled the Pink song “God Is A DJ” a quarter of an hour into his debut. Incidentally Dave still thinks Pink looks like Eddie Izzard.
Chris kept to his tradition of 2 segwayed songs out of the news. However there is no longer news at 7.15 or 7.45 meaning only 4 news bulletins in the show. The news and sport team are (as expected) DOMINIC BRYNE and....JULIETTE FERRINGTON. Chris texted Jules to wish her good luck last night but she was watching the darts so didn’t reply (classy bird). At 7.30 and 8.30 there was a “new look news” where Chris would talk about the stories with Dom and Jules during the bulletin, rather than at the end. To say it didn’t work would be an understatement. I would think it will be given until the end of the week but if there is no improvement then it will be back to normal (new newsbeat jingles today BTW). Chris’s new jingles continued throughout the show with some more genius lyrics:
“We’re here to entertain you, each morning from seven,
we finish up at ten, then we leave at half eleven,
If you listen every morning and think our show is funny,
The figures will go up and we’ll get paid much more money”
Dominic gave an in-depth weather report at 8.30:
Dom - The weather is rubbish..
(Everyone laughs)
Dom - What?..dark and dank..
Chris - What’s dank?
Dom - It’s a word my grandma uses
Chris - Was she insane?
Dom - No, she ISN’T insane.
Chris (laughing) - Oh, good morning luv.
(Everyone laughs again)
Chris talked about the TV ad for his new show starring him as a binman. He said Comedy Dave is in the ad, but blink and you miss him. He gave the times the ad would be shown today and after watching it again I think Dave is....wait for it...the milkman. Judge for yourself by viewing it here (WARNING - you’ll need a Real One player though). Wes *love child of Steve Penk* Butters was on at 7.45 to talk about the chart. He wasn’t on tape though and was live (and sounding rough) from his flat. He had got up at 6.55 (not the only one) to listen to the show. Chris played Chart Maths with Wes. He tested him on what number songs would be at if they dropped 11 or 15 places etc. Wes got five out of six questions wrong. Chris asked how he had managed to get his job. Wes said he’d left his abacus in the other room.
POSH SPICE INTERVIEW:
She was live from the Beckham Madrid household at about 8.15. Chris said she was obviously tuned in on her Sky Plus. Chris talked briefly about her getting to number 3 in the charts yesterday but was getting nowhere with his chat about Sophie Ellis-Bextor. He backtracked and asked what Romeo and Brooklyn (driving around on their toy bikes in the background) were having for breakfast.
Victoria - Toast and cereal
Chris - Ahhh...what a chef you are
(Everyone laughs)
Chris told her about the pictures of her skiing in todays papers. She said she got stuck as her arse wouldn’t let her slide down properly. Chris said he didn’t have any problem with his arse and said she could slide down on it anytime...good mornin’ (note the t-shirt above). Chris gave unfunny advice about how to speak Spanish and said she should pop in on the show when she’s back in the UK on Friday. Posh asked Chris how his mum was and asked him which of her songs he was going to play. He said “This Groove”. Dave she sounded restfallen. Chris played a new parody of I Won’t Change You by Sophie Ellis-Bextor, highlighting the hugely crap lyrics in it. My favourite line from Chris’s version was - “Then I’ll go and change my style, cos I can write a hit record without a crocodile”. Jo Whiley popped in to give a welcoming present to the team (well not to one of them), a spudgun and some potatoes “to fire at Aled when he gets annoying”. Dave said “Ah, she’s heard the show”. Aled wasn’t impressed and had a go at Jo for wearing a pink top today. I say bring back ‘Fire At Will’ but with Aled instead (for comedy value only of course).
NEW FEATURES:
BUZZ OFF (0720)
First new feature at 20 past 7. It involves Chris bringing in a record from home and playing it. When Dave, Aled, Rachel and the listeners have all had enough it is cut however. Dave thought of it (as usual) as “Interactive play at home fun”. 2,000 texts on 81199 counted for the listeners and it only took 1 min 22 until everyone was bored of todays song, Changes from The Lightning Seeds. First to buzz was Dave (he just wanted to be first), Aled, Rachel and then the listeners. Chris used the Guess Who incorrect sound effect for each of them.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE (0940)
As predicted by moi previously (check the October 10th 2003 review) Carpark Catchphrase has been given a permanent slot on the new show. (Unlike something called “On The Buses” which didn’t make it through the pilots). The basic idea is 2 callers in car parks press their horns to guess the Catchphrase Chris describes to them. TV Catchphrase legend Roy Walker had recorded some ultra cheesy drops and jingles (making it quite possibly the most over produced quiz in the history of British radio) and with cheesed up backing music and Mr Fish (not Chips for copyright reasons) ready to go, the feature was up and running.
SCORE: :
LISA from York 2
MATT from Chatham 1 (after Matt screwed up the line “Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched”).
Victoria Newton has asked Bizarre readers in The Sun to rate Chris’s first show. You can fill out the form online at <A HREF=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles/features/show1_report_jan03.shtml> http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/chrismoyles ... an03.shtml </A>. Here’s my ratings (out of 10):
CHAT - 7
MUSIC - 5
NEWS - 4
COMEDY - 6
DAVE, RACHEL, ALED, DOM AND JULIETTE - 6
(JINGLES - *not a real option* - 10)
DAVES TEDIOUS LINK IS BACK!!! Every morning at 9am, under insistence from Parf Daddy. However, I will stick to tradition and post the link at the end of the review every day.
Daves Tedious Link
Oasis What’s The Story Morning Glory - Morning Glory is something you have when you wake up - Wake Up Boo was a big hit for The Boo Radleys - Boo Radley was a name of a character in To Kill A Mocking Bird written of course by Harper Lee - Harper Lee shares the same surname as Franny Lee who used to play for Man City - Man City are managed by Kevin Keegan - Kevin Keegan shares the same christian name as Kevin Woodford the celebrity chef - If you add an “I” to the word chef you get chief which is a term referring to a type of tribal leader in many African and Native American communities - Native Americans traditionally live in a type of tent called a Teepee - Teepee sounds a bit like Taipei which is the capital of Taiwan - Taiwan is entirely surrounded by water making it an island much like Australia and Guernsey - Guernsey is famous for it’s cows - Cows live on farms as do chickens - Chickens lay eggs as do turtles - and when you think of the word Turtles in the context of an early 90’s Madchester baggy band with one of the brothers being Steve Coogan you think of course of The Mock Turtles and Can You Dig It? - Which links us to todays first ever breakfast tedious link The Mock Turtles and Can You Dig It?
Flaws
* It’s Jersey that’s famous for it’s cows not Guernsey. (Spotted by Juliette - well she knows her cows).
(Also second time Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? has been tedious link)
