chrismoyles.net
- Tue Dec 09, 2003 7:09 pm
#241825
1. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 2. Madonna - Music, 3. Lemar - 50/50, 4. The Strokes - 12:51, 5. NEW CHRIS MOYLES PARODY - Dizzee Rascal/Ian McKaskill, 6. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - I Won't Change You 3:30 NEWS 7. Liberty X - Jumpin, 8. Dido - Life For Rent, 9. Stereophonics - Movie Star, 10. CHRIS MOYLES GOLD Noel Gallagher - Half The World Away (acoustic in Eindhoven from 2000), 11. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 12. Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This, 13. Ultrabeat - Feelin' Fine, 14. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 4:30 NEWS AND SPORT 15. Rui Da Silva - Touch Me, 16. Sugababes - Too Lost In You, 17. Kelly & Ozzy Osbourne - Changes, 18. Junior Senior - Move Your Feet, 19. Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules - Mad World 5:00 NEWS AND SPORT 20. Outkast - Hey Ya, 21. Richard X feat Kelis - Finest Dreams, 22. CHRIS MOYLES GOLD - Stanta, 23. Oasis - What’s The Story Morning Glory (Tedious Link), 24. The Lost Brothers - Cry Little Sister, 25. Sid Vicious - My Way
MC - Well after 5 years of award winning afternoon radio for the UK, it all ended here. I’d like to thank Uglybob for putting my show reviews up since August and I think I echo everyones thoughts when I thank him for doing such a sterling job with the reviews for the past 2 years as he gives up his post. I hope I’ll still be reviewing for the site at breakfast but before we finally “look forward’, here is the final ever Chris Moyles Radio 1 Afternoon show Review:
LAST MARK AND LARD AND MOYLES HANDOVER
Radcliffe was late finishing his show today which resulted in Chris coughing loudly over P.I.M.P by 50 Cent. Mark talked to Chris about his move to breakfast and had some advice for him:
Mark - Take it from those who know, failure on the breakfast show is a deeply embarrassing thing. So I advise you to prepare.
Chris - Is that right?
Mark - Well actually no don’t as we prepared and it didn’t do us any good
Lard - Just fly by the seat of your pants mate
After a few moments the chat inevitably turned to football:
Mark - Is Dave there?
Chris - He is yeah
Mark - Prediction for Sunday - City and Everton Dave?
Dave - Prediction is 3-1 to Everton
(cue comedy laughter from Lard)
Mark - My prediction is 0-0
Lard (carrying on) - ha ha ha...COMEDY Dave..ha.ha
(everyone in both the Manchester & London studios laughs)
Chris - Eh I’m gonna miss these (meaning the handovers)
Mark - We don’t do them that often
Chris - I know but when we do it’s special
Chris told Mark and Lard what was lined up on today’s final show. They were understandably gutted to have missed out on the first play of the new Stereophonics single. Chris told them he’d have Ozzy Osbourne on the phone later and Mark said that he was undecided what Black Sabbath’s best album was - either Volume 4 or Masters of Reality. Chris suggested Osmosis. Radcliffe said that was probably a solo album going off the unforgivable pun in the title. Lard said ‘and that coming from the shirehorses of all people’. After a few minutes they all said their goodbyes and Chris began the last show with an instrumental bed of ‘So Long Farewell’ from The Sound of Music. He played clips of eh it's me Tony Bryne, Noel Gallagher telling greyhead to get Chris a cup of tea and David The Photographer singing. That was as close as we got to an afternoon show montage in the end.
Chris began the first link in typical fashion -
‘Hello everybody. Are you gonna miss us or what? All them people who love to hate me, you’re gonna miss us... cos we’re great. A lot of people say I’m big-headed but you know this really is the best radio show in the history of mankind’.
American Paul had recorded a new liner for the show - ‘Remember Remember the 5th of January’. I’ve got a feeling this might be on a few Radio 1 trails in the weeks ahead. Dave said it was the phrase that pays. Chris played 50/50 by Lemar and said that when he’s 49 Lemar can actually sing ‘Right about now I’m 50/50’. Dave said ‘I bet he can’t
wait the 30 odd years for that to happen’. As I mentioned yesterday, Chris had spent the morning recording a rap/weather parody. He mixed it on his own and gave it to Rachel who in turn gave it to Aled. For a brief moment at the start of the show Aled couldn’t find it and Dave said it was good to see the show was maintaining the same professionalism it’s had for the past 5 years. The parody was Daves idea and was Jus A Rascal by Dizzee Rascal but with altered lyrics for the newsreader Ian McKaskill. It was ‘1 minute 26 seconds of pure bliss’ according to Chris and Dave said it was radio gold. It was good, here is a couple of the verses:
“Checkin out the weather - will it be hot
Am I gonna wear a t-shirt or not?
Looking out the window ain’t being funny
Need to know if it’s going to be sunny”
“It’d be a dream come true for me
to do the weather on the BBC
Standing there all dressed in leather
I’ll be the mother f*cking king of weather”
Chorus - “He’s just a rascil, Ian McKaskill” (and so on)
To celebrate the last afternoon show Chris seemed to be using a few catchphrases, both old and new. This included a brief ‘Come On’ before Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s new single. Chris talked to Georgina about the end of the era. She even fluffed up the 3:30 news, her excuse was she was trying to make it perfect. She recalled the time when she read her first ever news on Radio 1, a 5:30 am bulletin on Chris’s Early Breakfast Show. He also remembered that day because he did some investigating on her and found one of her ex-boyfriends/friends in Manchester who went on air to talk about her.
George - Now you’re really important does it mean that when I see you in reception you won’t talk to me anymore?
Chris - Damn right bitch
LAST EVER CELEBDAQ UPDATE WITH PADDY O’CONNELL
Paddy was in the showbiz closet for the final time with a big crowd of assorted people randomly cheering, which meant that any newcomers tuning in to the show had to be told that this was NOT Steve Wright in the afternoon. Paddy continued his tradition of making no sense at all but he did have a mystery guest ready to talk to Chris. Chris and Dave had their comedy answers at the ready but surprisingly it wasn’t Martina Navratilova, Tina Arena or Arnold from Different Strokes. It was infact the very sexy Libby Potter from Celebdaq. Chris said she was much better than Paddy and should present the main part of the show. Paddy was off in cloud cuckoo land (for a change) and didn’t respond. Chris said he was going to make a best-of montage of Paddy but it wouldn’t have been long enough. Paddy reiterated his hatred for Rachel and made a weak bid to actually talk about Celebdaq stuff. Chris didn’t want to and said - ‘The nation is shedding a tear over the end of the very masculine conversations we’ve been having on a weekly basis’. Paddy did an impression of Ozzy Osbourne that made Chris’s own abysmal Ozzy voice sound like the man himself. Paddy sounded more like Zippy from Rainbow. He thought Chris’s Ozzy impression was identical to his Liam Gallagher one. Chris said he will appear as a guest on both Celebdaq and Liquid News at some point but there will be no Celebdaq feature at breakfast next year. Chris had arranged for a gift for Paddy to be delivered into the showbiz closet during the link. It was a nice bunch of manly flowers.
Chris had the world exclusive first play of the new Stereophonics single Movie Star. It isn’t released until the 9th of February and was the last song they ever recorded with Stuart on drums. I thought it was good but no doubt it’ll be panned by their critics again (Mark and Lard the ones that spring to mind). Chris also opened the archives to play a
fantastic version of Half The World Away by Oasis. It was performed live by Noel Gallagher on the show on June 12th 2000. The show was live from Eindhoven ahead of that night’s England-Portugal game in Euro 2000.
SCOTT MILLS AND THE JUSTIN TIMBERDATE
Scott was live on the phone at ten past 4 direct from ‘Mills Mansion’. He was just getting ready to go in the bath (gooood mornin) and while he was talking Chris could hear a weird noise in the background. Scott said it was a train as he lives near a train track. Chris said he is the Pete Waterman of Radio 1. On Sunday night Justin Timberlake (or J to Chris, Dave & Aled) is doing a small and exclusive London show after his gig at Earls Court. There are only 2000 tickets available and Scott said they are going for over £500 on eBay. Chris had a pair of tickets to give away and the winners would accompany Scott to the gig on Sunday:
Chris - So you’ll be looking after them for the night?
Scott - Well I don’t quite know how I’ve been roped into this. I got this this ticket last week and then we got 2 more tickets and now it seems like I’m some kind of chaperone
(Dave laughs)
Mills is going out with Chris, Dave, Rachel, Aled and sport monkey Garido for drinks tonight after the show. Chris however isn’t going to see Justin on Sunday as he is attending the book launch of the new Leeds United book called ‘Elland Road E-mails’. The life of a rock n roll celebrity eh. It just so happened that Chris contributed to the book by Dave Shack and he said it was ‘an exciting, engaging, e-mailing book about Leeds United’s 2002-2003 season’. Pop Idol judge Nikki Chapman will be at the book launch aswell. Dave asked why. Chris said it was either her or Foxy so that’s why. The contestant to win tickets for Justin was Scott, 23 from London. He is a chess coach (yes you did hear that right), as a result shockingly single and his claim to fame was seeing Chris smoking a fag at Soccer Six. He also demonstrated his appalling Justin Timberlake impression that made Paddy O’Connell sound like Culshaw. It took him 5 goes to win the Justin tickets as he kept screwing up the order of tracks in a little Justin montage. Chris was being ultra generous on his last afternoon show though - ‘Well I’ve got to admit Scott, no offence but you do sound like a bit of a loser, a geek and a very single, confused, young man. I think that you are therefore the perfect candidate to spend the night with Scott Mills’. Chris then played Justin and predicted how the conversation would go between the two Scott’s on Sunday. Mills will present Chris's slot up to Christmas and then it'll be Coxy in the new year from of course January 5th. There will also be a Moyles show on Christmas Day (presumably a pre-record)....and for the last ever time, here's Uglybob.
Dave thanked all the Americans who listened to the show who wont be able to hear the show again. Not often I swear but PUT MOYLES ON * LISTEN AGAIN. Chris talked to the REAL Ozzy Osbourne on the phone. Ozzy is staying till the end of the year. Ozzy hasnt been to the UK in 2 years and was proud to be a Brummie. Ozzy congratulated him on getting the Breakfast Show slot. Ozzy said that he has trouble sleeping so he will probably hear Chris in the morning. Ozzy said that Chris would get used to the early mornings. Ozzy said he has no money, Sharon keeps it all. Ozzy doesnt like Xmas and said it was for Kids and Piss Artists. Ozzy was on to plug the new single (not playlisted on Radio 1). Chris said he had a great voice and could duet with Ozzy. Ozzy said he had to go but he said he should put a BBC band together.
Kelly Osbourne decided to come on the phone after he played the song. This was Kellys third occasion on the show. She comes over here the most out of the family. Kelly asked how Chris was going to get up in the morning and Chris had it planned that they do pre-recorded links just in case the worst happens. Chris asked if she could sing in the morning (should have asked could she sing full stop). Kelly said its more fun to be with her dad in interviews. Kelly hates getting asked about other people in interviews. Chris then asked her questions shes never been asked.
Have you ever had a My Little Pony? YES
What is your favourite Back to the Future movie? The first one and the third one was poo
Have you ever studies camel crap? NO
Have you ever ridden an elephant? NO but it is her dream to do that
Chris talked about his dream he had the other night. He was in a massive corridor and Jack Osbourne was running down it and Chris shouted to him and Jack gave him the finger. Kelly said that if you dream of teeth you are nervous because she has an interpretation book. Chris said he didnt believe in it and most of his dreams were alcohol induced. Dave asked if Dentists have dreams about teeth, does that mean they are nervous too.
Chris gave an idea to local radio that they didnt do and have no time to do. They had an idea to do a slow sad version of another Tears For Fears song like Shout or Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Chris made an emotional speech to Georgina. She waited for a BUT or a put down but for the last and final time, Chris decided not to put her down.
Whilst Chris was dining in LA, Kelis was over on another table. Chris gave away today Daves Mini Fan to Gemma originally from Barnet but now in NY being a legal secretary which is 25, The Mini Fridge to Andy and Zoe Balls bikini to William. He said that he will wear the bikini on the 5th of January. Gemma asked for the Listen Again feature and he said he would if she sent a naked photo. Dave called them legal briefs.
MC - Well after 5 years of award winning afternoon radio for the UK, it all ended here. I’d like to thank Uglybob for putting my show reviews up since August and I think I echo everyones thoughts when I thank him for doing such a sterling job with the reviews for the past 2 years as he gives up his post. I hope I’ll still be reviewing for the site at breakfast but before we finally “look forward’, here is the final ever Chris Moyles Radio 1 Afternoon show Review:
LAST MARK AND LARD AND MOYLES HANDOVER
Radcliffe was late finishing his show today which resulted in Chris coughing loudly over P.I.M.P by 50 Cent. Mark talked to Chris about his move to breakfast and had some advice for him:
Mark - Take it from those who know, failure on the breakfast show is a deeply embarrassing thing. So I advise you to prepare.
Chris - Is that right?
Mark - Well actually no don’t as we prepared and it didn’t do us any good
Lard - Just fly by the seat of your pants mate
After a few moments the chat inevitably turned to football:
Mark - Is Dave there?
Chris - He is yeah
Mark - Prediction for Sunday - City and Everton Dave?
Dave - Prediction is 3-1 to Everton
(cue comedy laughter from Lard)
Mark - My prediction is 0-0
Lard (carrying on) - ha ha ha...COMEDY Dave..ha.ha
(everyone in both the Manchester & London studios laughs)
Chris - Eh I’m gonna miss these (meaning the handovers)
Mark - We don’t do them that often
Chris - I know but when we do it’s special
Chris told Mark and Lard what was lined up on today’s final show. They were understandably gutted to have missed out on the first play of the new Stereophonics single. Chris told them he’d have Ozzy Osbourne on the phone later and Mark said that he was undecided what Black Sabbath’s best album was - either Volume 4 or Masters of Reality. Chris suggested Osmosis. Radcliffe said that was probably a solo album going off the unforgivable pun in the title. Lard said ‘and that coming from the shirehorses of all people’. After a few minutes they all said their goodbyes and Chris began the last show with an instrumental bed of ‘So Long Farewell’ from The Sound of Music. He played clips of eh it's me Tony Bryne, Noel Gallagher telling greyhead to get Chris a cup of tea and David The Photographer singing. That was as close as we got to an afternoon show montage in the end.
Chris began the first link in typical fashion -
‘Hello everybody. Are you gonna miss us or what? All them people who love to hate me, you’re gonna miss us... cos we’re great. A lot of people say I’m big-headed but you know this really is the best radio show in the history of mankind’.
American Paul had recorded a new liner for the show - ‘Remember Remember the 5th of January’. I’ve got a feeling this might be on a few Radio 1 trails in the weeks ahead. Dave said it was the phrase that pays. Chris played 50/50 by Lemar and said that when he’s 49 Lemar can actually sing ‘Right about now I’m 50/50’. Dave said ‘I bet he can’t
wait the 30 odd years for that to happen’. As I mentioned yesterday, Chris had spent the morning recording a rap/weather parody. He mixed it on his own and gave it to Rachel who in turn gave it to Aled. For a brief moment at the start of the show Aled couldn’t find it and Dave said it was good to see the show was maintaining the same professionalism it’s had for the past 5 years. The parody was Daves idea and was Jus A Rascal by Dizzee Rascal but with altered lyrics for the newsreader Ian McKaskill. It was ‘1 minute 26 seconds of pure bliss’ according to Chris and Dave said it was radio gold. It was good, here is a couple of the verses:
“Checkin out the weather - will it be hot
Am I gonna wear a t-shirt or not?
Looking out the window ain’t being funny
Need to know if it’s going to be sunny”
“It’d be a dream come true for me
to do the weather on the BBC
Standing there all dressed in leather
I’ll be the mother f*cking king of weather”
Chorus - “He’s just a rascil, Ian McKaskill” (and so on)
To celebrate the last afternoon show Chris seemed to be using a few catchphrases, both old and new. This included a brief ‘Come On’ before Sophie Ellis-Bextor’s new single. Chris talked to Georgina about the end of the era. She even fluffed up the 3:30 news, her excuse was she was trying to make it perfect. She recalled the time when she read her first ever news on Radio 1, a 5:30 am bulletin on Chris’s Early Breakfast Show. He also remembered that day because he did some investigating on her and found one of her ex-boyfriends/friends in Manchester who went on air to talk about her.
George - Now you’re really important does it mean that when I see you in reception you won’t talk to me anymore?
Chris - Damn right bitch
LAST EVER CELEBDAQ UPDATE WITH PADDY O’CONNELL
Paddy was in the showbiz closet for the final time with a big crowd of assorted people randomly cheering, which meant that any newcomers tuning in to the show had to be told that this was NOT Steve Wright in the afternoon. Paddy continued his tradition of making no sense at all but he did have a mystery guest ready to talk to Chris. Chris and Dave had their comedy answers at the ready but surprisingly it wasn’t Martina Navratilova, Tina Arena or Arnold from Different Strokes. It was infact the very sexy Libby Potter from Celebdaq. Chris said she was much better than Paddy and should present the main part of the show. Paddy was off in cloud cuckoo land (for a change) and didn’t respond. Chris said he was going to make a best-of montage of Paddy but it wouldn’t have been long enough. Paddy reiterated his hatred for Rachel and made a weak bid to actually talk about Celebdaq stuff. Chris didn’t want to and said - ‘The nation is shedding a tear over the end of the very masculine conversations we’ve been having on a weekly basis’. Paddy did an impression of Ozzy Osbourne that made Chris’s own abysmal Ozzy voice sound like the man himself. Paddy sounded more like Zippy from Rainbow. He thought Chris’s Ozzy impression was identical to his Liam Gallagher one. Chris said he will appear as a guest on both Celebdaq and Liquid News at some point but there will be no Celebdaq feature at breakfast next year. Chris had arranged for a gift for Paddy to be delivered into the showbiz closet during the link. It was a nice bunch of manly flowers.
Chris had the world exclusive first play of the new Stereophonics single Movie Star. It isn’t released until the 9th of February and was the last song they ever recorded with Stuart on drums. I thought it was good but no doubt it’ll be panned by their critics again (Mark and Lard the ones that spring to mind). Chris also opened the archives to play a
fantastic version of Half The World Away by Oasis. It was performed live by Noel Gallagher on the show on June 12th 2000. The show was live from Eindhoven ahead of that night’s England-Portugal game in Euro 2000.
SCOTT MILLS AND THE JUSTIN TIMBERDATE
Scott was live on the phone at ten past 4 direct from ‘Mills Mansion’. He was just getting ready to go in the bath (gooood mornin) and while he was talking Chris could hear a weird noise in the background. Scott said it was a train as he lives near a train track. Chris said he is the Pete Waterman of Radio 1. On Sunday night Justin Timberlake (or J to Chris, Dave & Aled) is doing a small and exclusive London show after his gig at Earls Court. There are only 2000 tickets available and Scott said they are going for over £500 on eBay. Chris had a pair of tickets to give away and the winners would accompany Scott to the gig on Sunday:
Chris - So you’ll be looking after them for the night?
Scott - Well I don’t quite know how I’ve been roped into this. I got this this ticket last week and then we got 2 more tickets and now it seems like I’m some kind of chaperone
(Dave laughs)
Mills is going out with Chris, Dave, Rachel, Aled and sport monkey Garido for drinks tonight after the show. Chris however isn’t going to see Justin on Sunday as he is attending the book launch of the new Leeds United book called ‘Elland Road E-mails’. The life of a rock n roll celebrity eh. It just so happened that Chris contributed to the book by Dave Shack and he said it was ‘an exciting, engaging, e-mailing book about Leeds United’s 2002-2003 season’. Pop Idol judge Nikki Chapman will be at the book launch aswell. Dave asked why. Chris said it was either her or Foxy so that’s why. The contestant to win tickets for Justin was Scott, 23 from London. He is a chess coach (yes you did hear that right), as a result shockingly single and his claim to fame was seeing Chris smoking a fag at Soccer Six. He also demonstrated his appalling Justin Timberlake impression that made Paddy O’Connell sound like Culshaw. It took him 5 goes to win the Justin tickets as he kept screwing up the order of tracks in a little Justin montage. Chris was being ultra generous on his last afternoon show though - ‘Well I’ve got to admit Scott, no offence but you do sound like a bit of a loser, a geek and a very single, confused, young man. I think that you are therefore the perfect candidate to spend the night with Scott Mills’. Chris then played Justin and predicted how the conversation would go between the two Scott’s on Sunday. Mills will present Chris's slot up to Christmas and then it'll be Coxy in the new year from of course January 5th. There will also be a Moyles show on Christmas Day (presumably a pre-record)....and for the last ever time, here's Uglybob.
Dave thanked all the Americans who listened to the show who wont be able to hear the show again. Not often I swear but PUT MOYLES ON * LISTEN AGAIN. Chris talked to the REAL Ozzy Osbourne on the phone. Ozzy is staying till the end of the year. Ozzy hasnt been to the UK in 2 years and was proud to be a Brummie. Ozzy congratulated him on getting the Breakfast Show slot. Ozzy said that he has trouble sleeping so he will probably hear Chris in the morning. Ozzy said that Chris would get used to the early mornings. Ozzy said he has no money, Sharon keeps it all. Ozzy doesnt like Xmas and said it was for Kids and Piss Artists. Ozzy was on to plug the new single (not playlisted on Radio 1). Chris said he had a great voice and could duet with Ozzy. Ozzy said he had to go but he said he should put a BBC band together.
Kelly Osbourne decided to come on the phone after he played the song. This was Kellys third occasion on the show. She comes over here the most out of the family. Kelly asked how Chris was going to get up in the morning and Chris had it planned that they do pre-recorded links just in case the worst happens. Chris asked if she could sing in the morning (should have asked could she sing full stop). Kelly said its more fun to be with her dad in interviews. Kelly hates getting asked about other people in interviews. Chris then asked her questions shes never been asked.
Have you ever had a My Little Pony? YES
What is your favourite Back to the Future movie? The first one and the third one was poo
Have you ever studies camel crap? NO
Have you ever ridden an elephant? NO but it is her dream to do that
Chris talked about his dream he had the other night. He was in a massive corridor and Jack Osbourne was running down it and Chris shouted to him and Jack gave him the finger. Kelly said that if you dream of teeth you are nervous because she has an interpretation book. Chris said he didnt believe in it and most of his dreams were alcohol induced. Dave asked if Dentists have dreams about teeth, does that mean they are nervous too.
Chris gave an idea to local radio that they didnt do and have no time to do. They had an idea to do a slow sad version of another Tears For Fears song like Shout or Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Chris made an emotional speech to Georgina. She waited for a BUT or a put down but for the last and final time, Chris decided not to put her down.
Whilst Chris was dining in LA, Kelis was over on another table. Chris gave away today Daves Mini Fan to Gemma originally from Barnet but now in NY being a legal secretary which is 25, The Mini Fridge to Andy and Zoe Balls bikini to William. He said that he will wear the bikini on the 5th of January. Gemma asked for the Listen Again feature and he said he would if she sent a naked photo. Dave called them legal briefs.
