The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241754
1. Elton John – Are you ready for love, 2. NORE – Nothing, 3. Muse – Time is running out, 4. Beyonce Knowles – Crazy in Love 3:30 NEWS 5. Coldplay – God Put A Smile Upon Your Face, 6. Benni Benassi – Satisfaction, 7. Rishi Rich Project feat. Jay Sean & Juggy D - Dance With You (who??), 8. Avril Lavigne - Complicated, 9. D. Kay & Epsilon feat. Stamina MC - Barcelona, 10. N-Sync & Nelly - Girlfriend, 11. Limp Bizkit - Eat You Alive, 12. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Uh-Oooh) 4:30 NEWS & SPORT 12. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood, 13. Starsailor - Silence Is Easy, 14. Million Dan - Dogz n Sledges, 15. Robbie Williams - Something Beautiful 5:00 NEWS & SPORT 16. Sean Paul - Like Glue, 17. Lasgo - Something, 18. Jamelia - Superstar, 19. Feeder - Forget About Tomorrow, 20. Stiltskin - Inside (Tedious Link), 21. Lee-Cabrera feat. Alex Cartana - Shake It (Move A Little Closer)

Chris welcomed back Mark and Lard by complaining about their backtiming which resulted in the show starting two minutes late. Chris caught the 8.30 train up to Leeds yesterday to watch them play Newcastle. He was pleased with the result (2-2) but not with the fact they had run out of bacon butties on the train up and on the train back to London some woman was rude to him because he fell asleep and she thought he was some dosser. Much of the first hour was spent moaning about the fact Chris had bought a digital camera and needed to buy a memory card for
it, about the fact he has to download his CDs onto his computer to his iPod - and thirdly about some scientific bloke in the 3:30 news who was defending astrology. Chris then did a link reading out fake horoscopes for the whole team and said horoscopes were for socially inadequate people who needed to get more sex.
Dave and Will had Charlie Dimmock as a guess who from the BBC canteen this morning. Dave refused to comment when asked by Chris if she looked rough. Because Dave is getting married on Saturday Will and Chris have thought up a brand new feature called ‘AISLE be there with you’. Chris played clips of George Michael’s Freedom into the show to celebrate Dave’s last week of it.
Chris got people to phone up with wedding howlers, yes it did sound like a local radio feature but this was a way to get non plussed Dave nervous but it didnt seem to work. No matter, Chris will try again the rest of the week. Wedding photographer on the phone - A punch up happens at 1/3 of weddings. Potential guests to be involved in a punch up are Andy the Greek. kevin said the wedding he was at, his friend tried to get into the cathedral with a full pint of lager.
Chris bigged up Rampage for 1xtra as he listened to them this morning. The Tune Of Da Week is Dirt McGirt, something Dave found very funny. Chris played the track after the tedious link and put on his best Westwood impression. Chris found a copy of the tune and played it just before the end of the show, doing Westwood impressions over it and chatting to Dave, Will and Aled - for the purposes of the link known as Comedy Bitch, Dreadlockhead and Welsh Sheep.
Chris and Dave think they got the flu from the Air Conditioning. This makes Chris brag that he has only taken off one sick day. Chris said that getting vouchers was a lazy idea for a present. He proceeded to ask Will what he was getting and he replied voucher. Chris thought of a Plasma screen until he saw the prices. Dave wanted a season ticket so Chris offered a season ticket to Leeds. He said that scented candles would be good because they were cheap. Dave wanted a Snooker table but Chris said he would be better with Dangermouse Bed Set.
Dave had the idea that he could turn the spare room into his den and make it a bit filthy to ward off people who would think about staying for a while. Dave said that with the drawers and cupboards out he could put in a snooker table and dart board and a mini fridge to stock beer. He changed his mind and said the future wife could have it so he can take the lounge instead because it was bigger. Chris said he could get him some quality surround sound speakers because Chris said it doesnt count when you hook your telly up to stereo speakers, one placed on top of the telly and one at the back of the sofa.
Dave said that Emma is a bit close to getting round to getting them dolls that you put over a toilet roll. Chris tried to play the Chart Game on Radio 1 Online but as I tried it yesterday and failed, so did Chris.

Daves Tedious Link
Bizarre Inc Im Gonna Get You - Im Gonna Get You could be uttered by Claudia Ranieri to his counterparts Fergie and Wenger as his revitalised Chelsea are looking good enough to win the Premiership title - The title looks very unlikely to be heading to Wolves - Wolves are related to dogs - Dogs have a very sophisticated sense of hearing - Hearing rhymes with clearing which is something that can be found in an area of woodland or forest - Forrest Gump was played by Tom Hanks - Take and the KS and add kerchief and you get Handkerchief which is device used for the disposal of snot from your nose - A nose is made up of two nostrils, unless your Daniella Westbrook when you just have one big one - The Big One is a ride at Blackpool - Blackpool is a seaside resort, something it has in common with St Tropez in the south of France which is a playground for the most beautiful women who like to parade along the seafront in their short skirts and long hair - Long hair was a famous characteristic of Rapunzel who according to legend was locked INSIDE a tower playing with her lengthy locks which some little ugly dude was in the basement making cloth or something - His name of course was Rumpelstiltskin - Which links us to one hit wonders Stiltskin with Inside from 1994.