The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241567
NEWS Coldplay - The Scientist, Christina Aguilera - Dirrty, Streets - Dont Mug Yourself, Pink - Just Like A Pill NEWS (The Batty Boys Brochure Advert) Madonna - Die Another Day, City High - What Would You Do, Manic Street Preachers - There By The Grace Of God, N-Trance - Forever, Craig David - Whats Ur Flava, Third Eye Blind - Semi Charmed Kind Of Life, Rainbow - Zippy Really Likes It, Eminem - Lose Yourself, Sugababes - Stronger

Chris opened the show by saying that sometimes he hates Jonathon Pearce and then played the Sheffield United V Leeds United clip from last night (Sheffield United (the club I live next door to) won 2-1). Chris claimed he didn't care about being knocked out of the Worthington cup, and he now understands why people who are knocked out call it the worthless cup. Dave teased Chris about Leeds being so far down the premiership table. Chris is off the booze but fell of the wagon last night and had a bizzare night in the pub. Chris and the team were discussing alcoholic beverages. Aled said he drinks 'woo-woos' and Chris and Dave said he should drink lager or bitter like a proper man. Aled agreed to drink vodka instead, but Chris and Dave said that beer is a drink to be savoured and not necked.
Chris was playing with his phone. It is the same phone that David Beckham owns. He set his morning alarm to a
*.
Chris: I wonder if David Beckham wakes up to this.
Dave: *?

Chris did some awful impressions of Zippy and George from rainbow. Zippy started abusing George from newsbeat
and she had to go because she was scared! Jingle Justin sent in his new celebrity poems feature. Danni Minogue is the first target and she had 30 seconds to
think of a poem about Chris Moyles. Her attempt was fairly lame. After she read it out they asked 'Sven Goran
Eriksson' what he thought about it and he said it reminded him of fish for some reason!
Chris found a new game on his mobile. This ones called galaxian. They had the Eminem competition winner, Brinn, on the phone from L.A. He was staying in the same hotel as the team did when they were out there and complained about the bar service - Chris announced when they were there the bar ran out of beer five times. The 8-mile premier was last night and Brinn and his mate DJ Locus saw loads of celebrities - including Kim Basinger, D-12, Dr Dre, Pamela Anderson and bizzarly enough Christina Aguilera. They were sat about six rows infront of Dr Dre and Eminem. Brinn said that Eminem was short in real life and recommended the film even if you don't like Eminem and hip-hop.
The next day they went on a tour of celebrities houses, when the bus driver asked is there anywhere they'd like to go only Brinn and DJ Locus yelled The Osbournes. They saw Jack Osbourne outside the house who gave them all the finger. They're flying back today so Chris told them to get a snooze suit from the airline (Virgin Atlantic) and wear it coming off the plane. Apparently they are purple and very funny.
--------------------the uglybob bit------------------
Chris introduced on the phone the living legend that is Mr DAZ to talk about their championed single Rhinestone Cowboy featuring Glen Campbell.

Chris - Hello Mr DAZ.
DAZ - Hello Chris.
Chris - Rhinestone Cowboy is doing well then?
DAZ - Yes we have been on the BOX Top Ten Most Requested for the past month and were currently touring promoting the single on the Smash Hits Tour.
Chris - What other fine acts are on the Smash Hits tour youre on?
DAZ - Oh My word Busted, Blazing Squad, Ian Van Dahl, great singer live you have to check that out.
Chris - Oh well, how are you getting on with the rest of them, like Blazin Squad?
DAZ - I know you have a soft spot for Blazin Squad and I have to say that when you meet them theres actually a few of them that are alright to be fair. You got more problems with the likes of Busted who really deserve a slap and im just the very fellow to do that. Me and Rikki are like the grandads of the tour because were 28 and all these young 16 year olds is a bit much but I tell you, there is some tidy boilers on there.
Chris - And Ian Van Dahl did you say?
DAZ - Well yeah, she made the dreadful mistake singing live one night, crikey it nearly cleared the place.
Chris - Well she does have an individual voice!
DAZ - Exactly!
Chris - But I must add... lovely knockers, so obviously you went out to America and you met the guy who did the original of Rhinestone Cowboy, Mr Glen Campbell.
DAZ - Fantastic, for a couple of chancers like me and Rik to go out to his ranch. We pulled up there. Security guards on the gates:electric gates. We drive in our rented out hire car and go past all his limos. Went in there and I got to tell you for us lads up north, it was a thieves paradise. I helped myself to one or two souvenirs for the family back home.
Chris - Did you get a couple of things then?
DAZ - Actually I got a couple of little John Wayne statues that apparently Wayne gave him and they are supposed to be worth 4 grand.
DAVE LAUGHS
Chris - Oh lovely and they are now sitting in the front room.
DAZ - No, theyre down at Dirty Barrys Pawn Shop.
Chris - So you came to our attention as part of Blown Out and I believe you were signed to a major label?
DAZ - Yes BMG signed us and basically the guy who signed us was really into it. We did a video and everything but basically all the marketing people just didnt get what we were all about and didnt realise it was going to be a massive punter record thus not putting the video on MTV or the Box thus nobody really getting to hear it and eventually we got dropped. These are the same people that are a little bit worried because Rhinestone Cowboy comes out the same week as their prime asset Will Young. I must say that I have nothing against all this Pop Idol stuff. Its a bit boring for me now but we are just making a record, were just normal gadges that the normal ugly blokes of England and ugly birds will cop onto our vibe and put us into the top ten and that is what we are asking.
Dave - Speaking the truth
Chris - Do you have a rider on the Smash Hits tour or a tour bus?
DAZ - Can you remember the character Gay Steve who did a few Blown Out appearances
Dave - Was he the one that was locked up in Risley?
DAZ - No that was Big Jim who is now residing in Ibiza
Chris - Is he hiding in Ibiza?
DAZ - I think hes more Larging up. As you know he disappears off the scene for a few months but I wont get into that. He got fed up with the music so hes away to a better lifestyle in Ibiza so Gay Steve is doing it. You got to imagine that we are the unknown act on the tour so we are sort of put in the broom cupboard section of the arena. We tore it up at Belfast though. Last man standing, 5 O Clock in the morning, I thank you.
Chris - Very Good, I believe you have a big announcement to make.
DAZ - Yes 2 Worldwide exclusives for you
Chris - Would you like a drumroll?
DAZ - Yes please, The first exclusive is that DAZ has been accepted into the Eurovision Song Contest next year. He is through to the last 20 songs with a track called Land Of The Rising Son. An original track that took us all of 30 seconds to make down Stockport road one night. We feel its got a real chance. I know Daves a big fan of Eurovision with his Blue Oyster mates but isnt it time we brought home the crown for Britain
Dave - Bring Home the Bacon Daz
DAZ - Exactly and we are hoping for a Moyles campaign to take DAZ to Eurovision in Latvia.
Chris - What do we have to do then?
DAZ - In December it goes through to the next stage and you cant really help at this stage but in February it goes to a public vote and so obviously the people need to be aware to vote for this record but Ill keep you posted on that.
Chris - So at this stage your in final 20 then
DAZ - Yes but its quite a feat to get accepted in the first place. Theres a lot they reject.
Chris - Its funny you should say that because the track that Dave and I wrote didnt get into the final 20.
DAZ - You should have come to me. Lets move on, the BIGGEST exclusive of all is that because Glen Campbell is a massive name in America and knows a lot of old country singers and what have ya. Anyway I have been approached by DOLLY PARTON to do a rework of the classic hit 9 To 5. Come on Dollys got her knockers but im not one of them. I know 2 good reasons why I should work with her.
Chris - And they are?
DAZ - Cant say, left and right boom boom.
Chris - Obviously you will take up this challenge with Dolly and have massive hits.
DAZ - Its pencilled in that we meet her on 4th December but if we get into Top 20 then we will be doing Top Of The Pops so we will have to postpone to later but Dolly has agreed to do promotion with us an asked to meet the aforementioned rapper on the Rhinsetone Cowboy record so im going over to Dollywood to see her.
Dave - If you get to remix Dolly would that make you a Dolly Mixer?
DAZ - Funny Man, I thought I was doing the jokes. You can get more information on my website at http://www.rikkianddaz.com . There is lots of good stuff on there. We also need people to keep dialling the Box.
Chris - I believe the number is 166
DAZ - It certainly is! Little bit upset with Mr Baseball Cap though Dave Pearce in the Daily Star slagging the record off.
Chris - Hes jealous, thats what it is because he aspires to look like you one day.
DAZ - Well I wonder whats underneath that Baseball Cap.
Chris - Alright DAZ lovely to talk with you.
DAZ - One last question that Aled who works on your show. Is he a bit fruity?
Chris - Hes a bit saucy.
DAZ - Right because there a gay friend of mine that would like to meet him
Chris - Oh no hes married with a kid.
DAZ - Oh, Oh sorry just sounded a bit fruity on the air. Oh Minehead Saturday Smash Hits Tour and Zanzibar Stafford and Stoke on Saturday night.
Chris - DAZ The Living Legend.

Chris is hungover again after falling off the wagon. This was because Leeds suffered a humiliating defeat to Sheffield United last night. Dave was happy after Everton went through after beating Newcastle on penalties. Chris is getting his hair cut tomorrow and is considering whether or not to have it all shaved. Dave said that if Chris hair was longer he'd start to look like Glenn Mederios.
The Jingle Justin Machine keeps on and on. Jingles new feature is celebrities making up poems in the space of 30 seconds. Chris has said that the guy seriously needs help. Lizzie hates listening to the jingles because she is scared of his voice. This time he caught up with Pop Idol Finalist Rosie Ribbons. Her poem was this :-

Chris Moyles is a tiger, I Love it when he roars
Hes just so hot and handsome like that wee bloke from the Corrs
Id like to try and tame him and make him read the bible
But no matter what will happen, hes my number one Pop Idol

Daves Tedious Link
The Jam - Jam is spread on toast and the same can be said of marmalade - Marmalade is made from Oranges - Another thing made from oranges is Orange Juice - Orange Juice had a hit in the 80's with Rip It Up - Rip It Up is something you might do with paper - Paper is made from trees as are logs - Yuletide logs is a chocolate log shaped dessert commonly serves at Christmas Time - Christmas Time Mistletoe and Wine is a famous lyric from Cliff Richard - Cliff shares the same surname as Little Richard and Wendy Richard - Wendy Richard works in a laundrette - A laundrette is somewhere you go when your clothes are dirty - For example when your walking on the footpath and a truck goes through the puddle by a truck - The American word for a Truck is a Semi - Which links us to Third Eye Blind and Semi Charmed Kind Of Life

Sat and today are up