chrismoyles.net
- Thu Aug 22, 2002 6:02 pm
#241503
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Todays Sun said there is to be a series of Celebrity Boxing and they asked Dr Fox who he would to fight. He said he wants to knock his fat face off of Chris. This set off Chris to go off in a tangent of insults at him.
Chris So you may have read in the newspapers today there is something about celebrity boxing becoming a TV series. Apparently dr fox is in there saying he wants to knock my fat face off. Hello Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle. When I was at Capital Radio in London, Dr Fox had put on a load of weight and he used to go round, I dont know whether he got dressed inthe dark, he had the worst fashion sense of anybody Ive ever met. He used to wear these kind of army surplus trousers or an army surplus jacket but never at the same time. So you might see him in a jumper and a pair of army trousers. The guy walked like he was a pigeon because he was top heavy on the upper half of his body with a big fat arse and big fat legs and he would strut around the office, kind of like a pigeon wearing army trousers and this guy says he wants to knock MY fat face off. I cant believe, this is great. Id been goofing on this guy for 6 years, even when I worked at the radio station, the same one as him, I was taking the pee out of him because the guy just walks past you and you just want to laugh. So now this guy wants to start a fight with me. Oh this is like a dream come true. Ive got to go to mass at the weekend and thank the Lord God Jesus Christ who made the earth and all the beautiful things on the planet, including ugly dr fox. I want to thank Lord Jesus for this day when Dr Fox decided he would pick a fight with me.
Dave Your not upset about it?
Chris Im absolutely delighted because im going to rip that guy a brand new asshole.
Dave Its a lovely image
Chris Heres your quote Sun newspaper - Im going to tear his head off and poo down his neck, they are going to take what comes out of his backside and shove it in his ugly face while I kick it around on the football pitch as I use it as a ball. Lets tear his head off and use it in a charity football match for people who hate Dr Fox. The guy is like 40 odd years old and hes trying to drop the doctor from his name because guess what, he thinks its a bit cheesy.
Dave He wants to be taken seriously as a broadcaster.
Chris If he wanted to be taken seriously as a broadcaster then the guy should resign from radio full stop. How dare that overweight ego on legs try and pick a fight with me. Im personally responsible for saving his career when I was at the radio station where he worked at. I told this story before but I walked in there one day and he was standing there watching TV scratching his balls with the sound turned down. Thats how much he cared about his programme and he got all upset with me because I was taking phone calls, we were doing competitions and had guests on the show and then all of a sudden he pulled his thumb out of his ass and started working. He wants to pick a fight with me. He should be on his hands and knees kissing my feet thanking me for saving his career. Dr Fox: hes going to need a doctor once im finished with him. Ive got a good mind to go down there after the show and sit on his big harley outside his studio when he leaves the building. I might go and urinate in front of it or take a poo on his seat. Hey doctor, Im going to go down and sit on his bike with two fat nurses next to me, you know great fat obese ugly women and say Your the doctor, here are your nurses. Lets get it on in the middle of Leicester Square. The nurses can wipe you down afterwards and peel you off the pavement
Dave So are you taking up his challenge?
Chris Damn right, that fat bloke off pop idol (adopts snivelly voice) yeah, uh, i thought it was a bit cheesy. How dare he call anybody cheesy. This is the man who used to say on the radio rip the knob off because he thought it was funny to say knob on the radio, you know as in radio knob. I know what id like to rip off you and I know where Id like to stick it. I know for a fact people in the sales department at the radio station he works for listen to us instead of listening to him. even the people in the same building cant listen to him.
Dave I think you should fight him
Chris You know what, I might find it theraputic
Dave Stick it on pay per view or something
Chris That wouldnt be fair to the people because you wouldnt be getting much for your money, what 10, 20 seconds before I pound him to the floor.
Dave I would pay to watch it though
Chris I would love to dance all over his fat body in the middle of the boxing ring, knock him out and then get the kiddies up and use his big fat belly as a bouncy castle but we will let them keep their trainers on because nothing would burst that stomach. uhh anyway here we go. Loads of emails coming in about it.
Jingle Justin returned with a new feature asking celebs what they would leave Chris in their will. The first two were a bit dull. These included the Sugababes and Beverley Knight. PJ from Big Brother left Jade in his will to Chris. More interesting was Dermot O' Leary who was drunk as a skunk and mumbled incoherently about Norwegian cheese.
Chris introduced a new feature called Freebies at 5ive. Lizzie wanted a steam iron and Dave wanted a BMX. At the end they got some Wonderbras, 3 Atomic Kitten towels, Maryland cookies, Haribo, some scales, a random t shirt and Teletubby soft plush toys. It seems a regular occurrence that the Dreem Teem are in next door on a Thursday afternoon, possibly recording their show so they dont have to get up on a Sunday.
Chris wont be going to the V2002 festival at the weekend, The reason is because he doesnt want to drink this weekend. He claims there is no way possible for that to happen if he was to go there. Lizzie was interested to know the cup sizes of many female Djs in Radio 1. Dave says she was egg cup size. Dave now seems to be using the same quiz but under a different pun name every day. Today he called it Cannon and Bell. Line 1 was Lucy, 19 from Staines and some cornishman called Graham on Line 2 in a motorway service station. Graham won 7-5.
Big Blubber
Lizzie - Lizzies reign at the top was very shortlived having climbed up to the prestigious point as being winner last week. She was unable to sustain the level of dedication and hard work required to be a true champion. Lizzie has resumed her spot at the bottom of the table. One achievement though is that she has finally put functional before fashionable and last night saw her wearing for the first time a bike helmet whilst cycling home.
Will - Will has been off all week apparently training (Chris computer training actually). No physical side to this however. Wills week has a consisted of a leisurely 9-4, long lunches, numerous fag breaks and sitting on his lazy arse in front of the computer.
Dave - Unlike Everton, Daves done the double this week. A good run on Tuesday and today with a marathon effort he completed his longest ever run of just under an hour. This was a real confidence booster for Dave as he has been entered in a 10k run at the end of September and was feeling a little apprehensive about making it round.
Chris - Having been reprimanded last week for slacking off, Chris had a point to prove as he did 2 track sessions which saw him speeding round, whizzing past the Tom Selleck lookalike, a bizarre runner who had clearly dressed for the wrong sporting activity. A further weight loss this week for Chris which sees him at his lowest weight since he was a teenager.
Its been a really difficult decision to make this week between Chris and Dave BUT Chris gave that little bit extra and is this weeks Licky Licky Brown Nose Winner.
Daves Tedious Link
Birdhouse in Your Soul - David Soul was in Starsky & Hutch - A Rabbit lives in a hutch - a Rabbit has big ears - Gary Lineker has big ears - Gary Lineker hosts Match Of The Day - Darren Day is taking part in Celebrity Survivor -The band Survivor had a number one hit in 1982 with Eye Of The Tiger - Tony the Tiger was the public face for Frosties - Frosty was also a snowman - The book, The Snowman was written by Raymond Briggs - Raymond Briggs kind of rhymes with Ronnie Biggs, the Great Train Robber - Ronnie Biggs hid a long time in Brazil - Brazil is the birthplace of Formula One driver Rubens Barrichello - When you celebrate a super win at Formula One, you douse yourself in Champagne - Which links us to Oasis and Champagne Supernova
Todays Sun said there is to be a series of Celebrity Boxing and they asked Dr Fox who he would to fight. He said he wants to knock his fat face off of Chris. This set off Chris to go off in a tangent of insults at him.
Chris So you may have read in the newspapers today there is something about celebrity boxing becoming a TV series. Apparently dr fox is in there saying he wants to knock my fat face off. Hello Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle. When I was at Capital Radio in London, Dr Fox had put on a load of weight and he used to go round, I dont know whether he got dressed inthe dark, he had the worst fashion sense of anybody Ive ever met. He used to wear these kind of army surplus trousers or an army surplus jacket but never at the same time. So you might see him in a jumper and a pair of army trousers. The guy walked like he was a pigeon because he was top heavy on the upper half of his body with a big fat arse and big fat legs and he would strut around the office, kind of like a pigeon wearing army trousers and this guy says he wants to knock MY fat face off. I cant believe, this is great. Id been goofing on this guy for 6 years, even when I worked at the radio station, the same one as him, I was taking the pee out of him because the guy just walks past you and you just want to laugh. So now this guy wants to start a fight with me. Oh this is like a dream come true. Ive got to go to mass at the weekend and thank the Lord God Jesus Christ who made the earth and all the beautiful things on the planet, including ugly dr fox. I want to thank Lord Jesus for this day when Dr Fox decided he would pick a fight with me.
Dave Your not upset about it?
Chris Im absolutely delighted because im going to rip that guy a brand new asshole.
Dave Its a lovely image
Chris Heres your quote Sun newspaper - Im going to tear his head off and poo down his neck, they are going to take what comes out of his backside and shove it in his ugly face while I kick it around on the football pitch as I use it as a ball. Lets tear his head off and use it in a charity football match for people who hate Dr Fox. The guy is like 40 odd years old and hes trying to drop the doctor from his name because guess what, he thinks its a bit cheesy.
Dave He wants to be taken seriously as a broadcaster.
Chris If he wanted to be taken seriously as a broadcaster then the guy should resign from radio full stop. How dare that overweight ego on legs try and pick a fight with me. Im personally responsible for saving his career when I was at the radio station where he worked at. I told this story before but I walked in there one day and he was standing there watching TV scratching his balls with the sound turned down. Thats how much he cared about his programme and he got all upset with me because I was taking phone calls, we were doing competitions and had guests on the show and then all of a sudden he pulled his thumb out of his ass and started working. He wants to pick a fight with me. He should be on his hands and knees kissing my feet thanking me for saving his career. Dr Fox: hes going to need a doctor once im finished with him. Ive got a good mind to go down there after the show and sit on his big harley outside his studio when he leaves the building. I might go and urinate in front of it or take a poo on his seat. Hey doctor, Im going to go down and sit on his bike with two fat nurses next to me, you know great fat obese ugly women and say Your the doctor, here are your nurses. Lets get it on in the middle of Leicester Square. The nurses can wipe you down afterwards and peel you off the pavement
Dave So are you taking up his challenge?
Chris Damn right, that fat bloke off pop idol (adopts snivelly voice) yeah, uh, i thought it was a bit cheesy. How dare he call anybody cheesy. This is the man who used to say on the radio rip the knob off because he thought it was funny to say knob on the radio, you know as in radio knob. I know what id like to rip off you and I know where Id like to stick it. I know for a fact people in the sales department at the radio station he works for listen to us instead of listening to him. even the people in the same building cant listen to him.
Dave I think you should fight him
Chris You know what, I might find it theraputic
Dave Stick it on pay per view or something
Chris That wouldnt be fair to the people because you wouldnt be getting much for your money, what 10, 20 seconds before I pound him to the floor.
Dave I would pay to watch it though
Chris I would love to dance all over his fat body in the middle of the boxing ring, knock him out and then get the kiddies up and use his big fat belly as a bouncy castle but we will let them keep their trainers on because nothing would burst that stomach. uhh anyway here we go. Loads of emails coming in about it.
Jingle Justin returned with a new feature asking celebs what they would leave Chris in their will. The first two were a bit dull. These included the Sugababes and Beverley Knight. PJ from Big Brother left Jade in his will to Chris. More interesting was Dermot O' Leary who was drunk as a skunk and mumbled incoherently about Norwegian cheese.
Chris introduced a new feature called Freebies at 5ive. Lizzie wanted a steam iron and Dave wanted a BMX. At the end they got some Wonderbras, 3 Atomic Kitten towels, Maryland cookies, Haribo, some scales, a random t shirt and Teletubby soft plush toys. It seems a regular occurrence that the Dreem Teem are in next door on a Thursday afternoon, possibly recording their show so they dont have to get up on a Sunday.
Chris wont be going to the V2002 festival at the weekend, The reason is because he doesnt want to drink this weekend. He claims there is no way possible for that to happen if he was to go there. Lizzie was interested to know the cup sizes of many female Djs in Radio 1. Dave says she was egg cup size. Dave now seems to be using the same quiz but under a different pun name every day. Today he called it Cannon and Bell. Line 1 was Lucy, 19 from Staines and some cornishman called Graham on Line 2 in a motorway service station. Graham won 7-5.
Big Blubber
Lizzie - Lizzies reign at the top was very shortlived having climbed up to the prestigious point as being winner last week. She was unable to sustain the level of dedication and hard work required to be a true champion. Lizzie has resumed her spot at the bottom of the table. One achievement though is that she has finally put functional before fashionable and last night saw her wearing for the first time a bike helmet whilst cycling home.
Will - Will has been off all week apparently training (Chris computer training actually). No physical side to this however. Wills week has a consisted of a leisurely 9-4, long lunches, numerous fag breaks and sitting on his lazy arse in front of the computer.
Dave - Unlike Everton, Daves done the double this week. A good run on Tuesday and today with a marathon effort he completed his longest ever run of just under an hour. This was a real confidence booster for Dave as he has been entered in a 10k run at the end of September and was feeling a little apprehensive about making it round.
Chris - Having been reprimanded last week for slacking off, Chris had a point to prove as he did 2 track sessions which saw him speeding round, whizzing past the Tom Selleck lookalike, a bizarre runner who had clearly dressed for the wrong sporting activity. A further weight loss this week for Chris which sees him at his lowest weight since he was a teenager.
Its been a really difficult decision to make this week between Chris and Dave BUT Chris gave that little bit extra and is this weeks Licky Licky Brown Nose Winner.
Daves Tedious Link
Birdhouse in Your Soul - David Soul was in Starsky & Hutch - A Rabbit lives in a hutch - a Rabbit has big ears - Gary Lineker has big ears - Gary Lineker hosts Match Of The Day - Darren Day is taking part in Celebrity Survivor -The band Survivor had a number one hit in 1982 with Eye Of The Tiger - Tony the Tiger was the public face for Frosties - Frosty was also a snowman - The book, The Snowman was written by Raymond Briggs - Raymond Briggs kind of rhymes with Ronnie Biggs, the Great Train Robber - Ronnie Biggs hid a long time in Brazil - Brazil is the birthplace of Formula One driver Rubens Barrichello - When you celebrate a super win at Formula One, you douse yourself in Champagne - Which links us to Oasis and Champagne Supernova
