[Chris]

I was out so joined the show at 3:40pm
8. ShyFX - Shake Ur Body 9. Bowling for Soup - Girls All The Bad Guys Want 10. Beyonce - Work It Out 11. Modjo - Lady 12. Underworld - Two Months Off 13. Will Smith - Black Suits Comin (a crap rnb remix) NEWS 14. Coldplay - In My Place 15. Truth Hurts - Addictive 16. Darius LIVE - Colourblind 17. Sum 41 - In Too Deep NEWS 18. Ja Rule - Livin It Up 19. Third Edge - In & Out 20. Shakedown - At Night 21. Sugababes - Round Round 22. Kosheen - Harder 23. Mint Royale - Sexiest Man in Jamaica

When I joined the show, Jingles Justin had infiltrated the Popstars auditions and had a water pistol to squirt at Geri Halliwell and sing I Just Called To Say I Love and mentioning Chris name. He had his mobile strapped inside so you could hear him sing but the phone cut out just as soon a the judges started talking.


Whoop Whoop
Chris Youre a lot taller than I thought youd be
Darius Youre a lot slimmer than I thought you would be
Chris Thats good, I like that, and better looking?
Darius I dont know about that, you got the whole stubble thing going on and Im like guilty of that as well
Chris Are you sweating, are you alright there?, you look like you need a bit of powder on your forehead
Darius Have you got a powder woman?
Chris Yeah Lizzie touches us up before the show
Darius Well book me in then
Chris So Darius, youre Number One
Darius Allegedly, its incredible, I cant believe it, I really cant believe it, I thought I would get top 5 possibly. When Universal, the company I was signing with, told me that they would be releasing my debut single against Britney Spears, Will Smith, Puff Daddy and George Michael, I thought What are you trying to do, bury my career and of course no, they are the most fantastic company and they had faith in the music
Chris Have you gone into a record shop yet, you know when they line up the singles in order of the top 10, have you gone into a record shop yet and had a look
Darius No I havent yet but I will on Saturday in Glasgow, I have to take my little brother in and he wants to go buy the new N.E.R.D album which i have a copy of, but he insists he wants his own copy, 7 years old, you know what they are like. The weird thing is they have big cardboard cutouts... of me in Our Price
Chris Surely thats a dream come true
Darius I dont know about that, I think it would be surreal for you to come into Radio 1 every morning and see a cardboard cutout of you before you started
Chris It would be a bloody lot of card
Dave It would block the door
Chris Is it true, I heard that when you auditioned for Popstars and after that Im going to have a number album speech that your family and friends put bets on at a bookmakers for you to have a number one
Darius Not true, it was funny watching it with my family and I was sat on the couch, I never cringed so much in my life, I bit my fist that I nearly drew blood but then my little brother brought the paper in and it said you got 6-1 that you will have a number one before Christmas this year and it just goes to show you how wrong the bookmakers are. I said the speech to Nigel Lythgoe because everybody was getting bullied on the show. It was like set up for an entertainment viewpoint, the sheer kind of emotional manipulation whereas everyone else was crying I was like well, no actually I think you are wrong.
Dave So was it in a way an up yours to all of them on the panel
Darius No, it was a way of me hiding behind something that i could say to throw out to basically ...
Chris So did you believe that when you said it?
Darius Absolutely not
Chris I think you did
Darius There was a little part of me that wanted to but I didnt think the success would come this quick at the age of 21. I thought if I work hard, 5 years time I might have some commercial success and I had no idea that 2 years later after doing a godawful Britney track that I would be here in the charts and I would be number one
Chris Its really funny because its the biggest image u-turn in the history of human beings and I feel sorry for you because every interview you do, they play that godawful clip
Darius You got to laugh, at the time I cringed, we all make mistakes but I made mine on national television
Chris But how many shows when theyve done Now Darius take a look at this and theyve shown it, it must be 20
Darius The last couple have all been about my music
Chris Well we have it in full but we are not going to play it (LIE-they do after the news)
Darius Ive genuinely got no regrets about it, if I hadnt done that and I hadnt made the mistakes I made then I wouldnt have got the criticism that I got and its only by taking on board criticism that you can improve. You look at where I was 2 years ago and I DO laugh.
Chris The look that you had before, because when you came back in Pop Idol, the change in image was immense and you looked cool. You were a handsome man and you dressed well. When you had the goatee look, did none of your friends go jesus, Darius you look like an arse?, you really got to shave that off
Darius Mate, the whole spanish waiter look wasnt going for me. it was something like a spanish waiter and a greek tour operator
Chris How grateful are you that you owe a lot to that great fat pig Rik Waller for dropping out of the show. That lurker fat wobbler
Darius Now listen you keep your opinions to yourself
Chris Buts its not an opinion, HES FAT, you can hardly say he is anorexic, hes a big mound of flab
Darius Well it was luck that he dropped out
Chris Any truth in the rumours you spiked his food because I heard one that someone put bad stuff in his food and I said dont be so stupid, you would have to spike a lot of his bloody food because he eats so much. You would be going through a years supply of rat poisoning in one lunch sitting
Dave Hes a salad dodger
Chris Now his career is down the tubes, you can say stuff you wannabes
Darius No I could never say that
Chris Now I know that you got to be nice to people on the way up, but youre not going to be down for ages, plus when the time does come, youll be a millionaire and youll get the lift to go down so you wont bump into these losers. Thats the way I look at it
Darius Genuinely anyone who has a had a part in everything Ive experienced, I dont have any animosity towards Nasty Nigel or Simon Cowell because we are actually friends
Chris So is Simon Cowell your...
Darius No, I have no business with him
Chris Very sensible, you dont want that waistband eejit having anything to do with your career
Darius Simon was a gentleman and he was very generous with his record offer at BMG
Chris You would have just been a goldfish to Will and Gareth, the puppy dogs
Darius The reason I signed with Mercury was because I looked at the artists the record label had and they have Craig David, David Gray, Nelly Furtado, Dido and Alicia Keys. All different artists in different genres but they all got one thing in common and that is they all write original music at the front edge of pop. Ive been writing since the age of 14 and I play the guitar which I was self taught at a young age and I was never given the opportunity to show that in Pop Idol so I thought by taking the other route, ok, its not the certain route, its not the commercial route.
Chris What Darius is saying is that he hates Simon Cowell
Darius No, I have a tremendous respect for him, hes a very articulate and astute businessman and I just dont agree with his waistband
Chris Do you think he is attracted to women?
Darius I have no idea
Chris Ok, so you are saying no, thats very interesting
--------------------2nd--part------------------------------------
Chris Right the notes that I have got about you is that you were born in Glasgow and he was named after a Persian...
Dave Carpet.. Cat... Brothel... Rug
Chris No, King
Chris Darius got the singing bug at the age of 4 when he appeared in Peter Pan: The Musical
Darius Come on, it was kindergarten
Chris Kindergarten!, noone uses that word in England, its nursery
Darius Alright I was in a nursery in Scotland and there its called Kindergarten
Chris At 16 he fronted a band but it came to nothing when University beckoned when you moved to Edinburgh. The band was called Jade.
Darius This is like This Is Your Life
Chris Can you imagine if you had a hit with that band and then that other fat pig from Big Brother, you would have had to change your name immediately
Darius You are right
Chris What else have I got here, oh yeah, Darius has said he has had only one snog since Pop Idol
Darius Really
Chris Do you want to make it two? (makes slurpy noises)
Darius Oh mate you got too much stubble, maybe later if you go get a shave
Chris If I shaved, would you kiss me?
Darius Absolutely not, I would slap you
Chris What about Lizzie, would you snog her?
Darius Lizzie is lovely, shes gone red
Chris She will snog anybody, shes a slut
Darius Thats horrible, you cant call women that, I hear you have a girlfriend Chris
Chris No I dont have a girlfriend
Darius Yeah you do, I met her yesterday, now dont change the subject, just cos its your show doesnt mean we cant talk about you
Chris Shes not my girlfriend, shes someone Im seeing
Darius Reeeeallly, so whats the difference?
Chris We havent had sex
Dave But isnt that the case with MOST of them women you associate with?
Chris Well yes technically, if I was going out with every woman I hadnt had sex with, I wouldnt have time to sleep
Dave Theres a common thread developing
Darius No actually mate, youre looking tired, you not had much sleep recently have you
Chris No seriously Im not getting any action, she wont like me discussing it on the air but you brought it up, how two faced are you, a nice man yesterday and now look at you, embarrassing the poor woman
Darius Mate youre not gonna get any tonight if you keep talking about it
Chris Im not getting any tonight anyway, right Darius, you say your ideal woman is the girl next door, now thank God you dont live where I am cos the girl next door, shes a right pig, shes a munter, shes got one of them dodgy eyes and smells of B.O
Darius How do you know she smells of B.O?
Chris She walks past me, so have you ever seen a girl that lives next door to you?
Darius I used to live beside a very pretty girl next door
Chris Are you single?
Darius Yes, you asking?, look man if youre not getting any action dont come looking to me
Dave Youre trying to broaden the goalposts
Darius Im not Pop Idol and im not gay alright
Chris See if I was in your position I would be out every night boffing everything that moved
Darius Well the thought had crossed my mind but you wouldnt really, would you
Dave and Chris Yeah!!!
Chris Can we be in one of your videos?
Darius Really, If I do like a performance, Id love for you guys to come on, you could do a stage dive
Chris We can do BVs, we played at Wembley Arena
Dave ... with the Barenaked Ladies no less
Chris Right, do you think the final Pop Idol placings have had any effect on the careers of yourself, Will and Gareth or was it kind of relevant which one of you won?
Darius If you look at the careers of Will and Gareth, it kind of hasnt made a difference but for me I went for a very very different route and just because I did that doesnt mean I dont support what they are doing. They are mates and I say all credit to them, theres space for all 3 and in fact there is space for many more because I dont consider myself part of that thing
Chris How hard was that because obviously in the last week of Pop Idol you knew you werent going to win. Id imagine you knew you wouldnt have come second. You knew you were going to be third.
Darius Well the thing was I was hoping I would get to the final 10 so when you exceed your expectations, it takes the pressure off you. I think that when I left the competition a lot of the votes that were voted towards me, it was implied that they went more to Will than they did to Gareth. I dont know whether thats true or not but certainly when I look at the acts I kind of aspire to, you know you look at Robbie and hes done his own thing, he writes his own material with Guy Chambers and that is what excites me. You know, Original music, so when Simon offered me the deal it was wicked but then i met Steve Lilliwhite who...
Chris ... saved your ass. Because I think that would have killed you if you went down the Gareth and Will route and you would have had to record songs that you didnt 100% believe in.
Darius Yeah but I would have never have done that
Chris Are you sure though?
Darius I would have been silly to sign with Simon, the whole point was that I wrote Colourblind a year ago and a copy of it landed of Steve Lilliwhites desk and Steve is the producer behind U2, Travis, even the Stones and that night, the day that he had it, I found myself having a kebab with Steve Lilliwhite in this little restaurant on the old Kilburn Highroad
Chris Blimey, have you never heard of expenses? A KEBAB
Darius Man, its rock and roll anyway, so he listened to the track and he just got back from the States and he had been away for 5 years and knew nothing about Popstars and Pop Idol. He knew Pop Idol existed and he knew the winner was Will Young but he knew nothing about me so we talked about music and he said that he wanted to be at the helm of my first album and I thought he was joking and then I got a 5 album deal with Universal through Mercury
Chris Notice that Dave, there was absolutely no need to throw into that story that he had a 5 album deal. Hes just showing off.
Dave Hes just painting a picture
Chris We couldnt even get our single released
Dave We were going to get it released until they heard it and then it all dropped like a stone
Darius Listen I will do BVs for it
Chris We made a track, it was called Youre My Baby, it was mastered at Abbey Road studios
Darius Seriously?
Dave We had a band called Ghettolife
Chris Dave rapped on it under his rapping guise of Choc Ice
Darius So what happened
Chris We never got signed
Darius You know we could do a remix of it, Steve is always open to ideas. We could put it out before Christmas
Chris Yeah but we got the composer rights on it so you wouldnt make that much money out of it and the logos. Did you write Colourblind completely on your own?
Darius No, I wrote it with two of the best producers in the world. they are called the Misfits and they are based in London
Chris So on the composing credits theres 3 of you then
Darius Yeah I think its important at this stage to really improve my songwriting and only by working with the best people can you improve your performance as a songwriter.
Dave Thats what we thought of Ghettolife
Chris Hes very serious, Darius, isnt he
Darius Well you asked a serious question
Chris I cant believe your not getting laid
Darius Ask me a FLIPPIN question?
Chris When was the last time you got laid
Dave Is that flippant?
Chris Have you ever urinated in the shower?
Darius Absolutely
Dave He is just like us
Chris Yeah the similarities are amazing, we could be brothers, Darius and I

Blown Out Update
Dear Chris, every now and again in pop music certain tracks come along that have such quality that the term genius is labelled to them I am referring to such records as O Superman by Lori Anderson and the massive 250 selling of bimbo by James Whale. Therefore Chris, in some vain attempt to gain even more airplay on your show and having an hour spare yesterday, I decided to throw the enclosed pile of steaming brown stuff together. As you can hear on this occasion I have decided to get down with the kids by aiming the track at the under 10 market. As you and most of my Radio 1 following know I have recorded a version of Rhinestone Cowboy with my semi gay mate Ricky. Last week we spent 5 days at Glen Campbells mansion in Phoenix, Arizona recording the legend. Chris, let me tell you the house is a thieves paradise but not wishing to balls up my new found friendship with him, I decided to keep my sticky Northern never done a hard days work fingers in my pocket. However I did manage to work my magic on one of his housemate and felt it my duty to represent my country in the right manner by servicing her a portion of the good stuff. Also Glen has insisted on doing some Chris Moyles jingles for the show and they are enclosed. His son Cal has caught the programme on the Internet and Glen has assured me he will be tuning in. Lastly can I take it for granted that I will be a guest on your new TV Show at some stage. Maybe I could pitch for a weekly novelty pop corner of Mr DAZ.(Chris said I must admit I kind of like that idea).
Dave says that it has German appeal. Chris plays Rhinestone Cowboy again.
Chris plugs Eastenders and the new run of his mate Patrick Kieltys chatshow on BBC1 at 10:35.