chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jul 31, 2002 5:32 pm
#241487
1. Ja Rule - Livin It Up 2. U2 - Elevation 3. Third Edge - In & Out 4. Doves - Pounding 5. Darius - Colourblind NEWS 6. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - By The Way 7. Elvis - Little Less Conversation 8. Coldplay - In My Place LIVE LOUNGE Jo Whiley 9. Blue - Fly By II 10. Milky - Just The Way You Are 11. Ashanti - Foolish 12. David Gray - Babylon 13. Britney Spears - Boys 14. Space Cowboy - I Would Die 4 U 15. Toploader - Time Of My Life NEWS 16. Eminem - Without Me 17. Linkin Park - Points Of Authority 18. Blazing Squad - Crossroads 19. Mint Royale - Sexiest Man In Jamaica NEWS 20. Nelly - Hot In Herre 21. Faithless - We Come One 22. Flaming Lips - Do You Realise 23. Liberty X - Just A Little 24. Narcotic Thrust - Safe From Harm 25. CamRon - Oh Boy
Dave has had offers from fairly substandard publications and is still waiting for the call from Hello or OK. Chris played the Hello or OK game. Chris called out celebrity couples and Dave had to guess which publication their wedding was featured in.
Norman Cook has reached the age of 39 today, or so it says in the Sun according to Lizzie. Chris said that was his showbiz age and he was much older. Dave claimed that all the stress from djing has made him look a bit older. Chris cut him off by saying what stress and that all he does is play records for a living. Darius Danesh will appear on the show LIVE on Friday 8th August and will sing in the LIVE LOUNGE.
As revealed last night on the messageboard by myself and read out today by Chris from the pages of the Daily Star, Chris was rapped by the BSC for making strong sexual remarks beyond taste and decency guidelines about Welsh singer Charlotte Church. This show was broadcast on her 16th birthday on February 21st this year whereby Chris offered himself as a human sex sacrifice to Church. Chris, as you aware from previous rappings, doesnt give a toss about it and made fun of the complainers by setting up a mock meeting with Will telling him off.
Wales comes under yet more mickey taking after Chris talks about how police officers came to Television Centre yesterday to interview Greg Dyke about the infamous Room 101 episode where Anne Robinson put the Welsh into hell, which the police deemed as racism. It seems that a few of the Welsh dont have a sense of humour. Chris wonders where it will stop. He comments that you dont get the police round when someone says they hate the French or the Germans.
Chris finds out about the THE BLEETS, the parody of the crap band The Streets, who for some reason will win the Mercury Music Prize. This was a fantastic parody and far much better than the twaddle the real band produces. The Bleets collective are Kev, Aiden and Nigel and the parody was Official Farming Material. Chris points out tonights viewing on Channel 4 with a sex change documentary at 9 and Lesbian Love Stories at 11:30pm. Chris talks about the middle pages where Jade was taken to East Angular complete with passport. Chris goes on a rant about how Graham Norton was two faced towards Jade in Big Brother. At the start of the shows he called her a fat annoying thick pig but once he thought she was going to win, he suddenly changed his mind.
Chris talks about the pictures on the Newsbeat section on the Radio 1 ONLINE and says that Georginas photo was bad. Chris offered Will to take some pictures of her in some cleavage hugging tops. Chris plays two new Eminem bootlegs which were :-
1. Inspector Gadget Theme VS Eminem
2. Mambo No.5 VS Eminem
Chris reads a story in the Sun Women on Love Rats about a silly woman who was conned by a man on the Internet from Ohio who said he had a jacuzzi and a big farm with horses and was in the marines. She fell in love with him but slowly found out the truth that he lived in a basement in his mothers house, was a shift supervisor at a supermarket and couldnt drive them home because he was banned for drink driving. The photo that she also got was of 10 years ago and had gained about 2 stone in weight. She decided to leave with her child after only 2 days.
Chris brings up the Daily Star 3 Bitches and features in their column today and this is where we pick up todays transcript.
Chris Im in the Daily Star today, in fact im mentioned a couple of times in it, this is in the Bitches column. Now you know those Bitches hacks
Dave Mmmm, theyre multiplying by the way
Chris Yeah I know, you would think you would find they would dump the ugly one in favour of the new girl, I mean I dont want to talk out of line but you know the phrase you cant polish a ...
Dave Move On
Chris You got Julia who is beautiful, you got the new girl Mel who is beautiful, then you got gorgeous sexy Amy and then you got Laura, no, I was going to say something horrible about Stoke there
Dave Is that where shes from?
Chris No, but she looks like the kind of girl you would encounter in Stoke On Trent, If she went to an all girl school, she would be last to get picked at the footie, you know what Im saying. Now normally the bitches are quite nice but they have written this story about me today and there are a few inaccuracies in there, a few things I would like to query
Dave Such as what?
Chris I will dissect the piece, title says Love is On the Air, CHRIS MOYLES MAY BE A MISERABLE GIT SOMETIMES (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Now i got to stop it there already, seriously when am I a miserable git?, Jesus Christ Im the life and soul of the party.
Dave Move On
Chris THE LARDY RADIO 1 STAR (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Why Why Why choose that word out of all my attributes. Why not well hung, good lover, why not alcoholic.
Dave Only 2 of them are true
Chris All right im not an alcoholic, lets move on, AS THE IDENTITY OF CHRIS BLONDE COMPANION PICTURED 2 WEEKS SNOGGING OUTSIDE THE DJS LOCAL (plays family fortunes incorrect noise) well thats funny cos it wasnt 2 weeks ago, it was about 5 weeks ago and also the Daily Star said it was last week. Yeah last week they printed it saying it was taken yesterday bearing in mind at that time I was in Spain. Not that I want to point that out or anything. A SOURCE AT RADIO 1 TOLD US THE FUTURE COULD BE BRIGHT (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Now im sorry which source is this then?
Dave That was me
Chris No, seriously because if anyone who is associated with my PR has used that phrase then automatically they need to be sacked. You see Im wearing shades in the picture and they just slapped a pun on it. Lets go for another one. THE RIDDLE IS SOLVED SO THE REASON WHY MOYLES HAS GONE TO SO MUCH EFFORT TO LOSE SOME POUNDS (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Hang on a second, if I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, why the hell have I been training for 18 months you daft tarts. ANOTHER CERTAINTY IS THAT CHRIS HAS BEEN RESEARCHING MUCH MORE THAN THE LATEST POPULAR BEAT COMBOS (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Hello, have we been transported back to the 1930's? Is this Ready Steady Go? Popular Beat Combos, you are kidding me. This is meant to be a cool column. Then the last bit, LETS HOPE IT LASTS LONGER THAN YOUR FADDY DIETS CHRIS (plays MULTIPLE family fortunes incorrect noises). How many times, I am not on a bloody DIET. Thank you, Im sick of people saying Im on a diet, you know what I had this morning for breakfast, 2 slices of last nights pizza so is that a action of a madman on a diet
Ralf Little texts Chris after he took the piss out of his acting on Paradise Heights. Chris then reveals that earlier Spencer from Big Brother and Dan from Toploader also sent him texts. This gets the team to play a game of Countdown for the fastest text from a Celebrity. There most famous text was from Paul Gallagher, the fatter untalented brother of the Noel. Chris claims that Gaz Top texted him, presenter from How 2. They hold out for Michael Greco but he mustnt have been listening. Chris decides to ring some celebs up and set the phone down on them and let the team guess who he phoned from the person just saying the word Hello. He rang up Gail Porter but it went to voicemail. He then rang up Zoe Ball and she answered but the team didnt get it.
Dave has had offers from fairly substandard publications and is still waiting for the call from Hello or OK. Chris played the Hello or OK game. Chris called out celebrity couples and Dave had to guess which publication their wedding was featured in.
Norman Cook has reached the age of 39 today, or so it says in the Sun according to Lizzie. Chris said that was his showbiz age and he was much older. Dave claimed that all the stress from djing has made him look a bit older. Chris cut him off by saying what stress and that all he does is play records for a living. Darius Danesh will appear on the show LIVE on Friday 8th August and will sing in the LIVE LOUNGE.
As revealed last night on the messageboard by myself and read out today by Chris from the pages of the Daily Star, Chris was rapped by the BSC for making strong sexual remarks beyond taste and decency guidelines about Welsh singer Charlotte Church. This show was broadcast on her 16th birthday on February 21st this year whereby Chris offered himself as a human sex sacrifice to Church. Chris, as you aware from previous rappings, doesnt give a toss about it and made fun of the complainers by setting up a mock meeting with Will telling him off.
Wales comes under yet more mickey taking after Chris talks about how police officers came to Television Centre yesterday to interview Greg Dyke about the infamous Room 101 episode where Anne Robinson put the Welsh into hell, which the police deemed as racism. It seems that a few of the Welsh dont have a sense of humour. Chris wonders where it will stop. He comments that you dont get the police round when someone says they hate the French or the Germans.
Chris finds out about the THE BLEETS, the parody of the crap band The Streets, who for some reason will win the Mercury Music Prize. This was a fantastic parody and far much better than the twaddle the real band produces. The Bleets collective are Kev, Aiden and Nigel and the parody was Official Farming Material. Chris points out tonights viewing on Channel 4 with a sex change documentary at 9 and Lesbian Love Stories at 11:30pm. Chris talks about the middle pages where Jade was taken to East Angular complete with passport. Chris goes on a rant about how Graham Norton was two faced towards Jade in Big Brother. At the start of the shows he called her a fat annoying thick pig but once he thought she was going to win, he suddenly changed his mind.
Chris talks about the pictures on the Newsbeat section on the Radio 1 ONLINE and says that Georginas photo was bad. Chris offered Will to take some pictures of her in some cleavage hugging tops. Chris plays two new Eminem bootlegs which were :-
1. Inspector Gadget Theme VS Eminem
2. Mambo No.5 VS Eminem
Chris reads a story in the Sun Women on Love Rats about a silly woman who was conned by a man on the Internet from Ohio who said he had a jacuzzi and a big farm with horses and was in the marines. She fell in love with him but slowly found out the truth that he lived in a basement in his mothers house, was a shift supervisor at a supermarket and couldnt drive them home because he was banned for drink driving. The photo that she also got was of 10 years ago and had gained about 2 stone in weight. She decided to leave with her child after only 2 days.
Chris brings up the Daily Star 3 Bitches and features in their column today and this is where we pick up todays transcript.
Chris Im in the Daily Star today, in fact im mentioned a couple of times in it, this is in the Bitches column. Now you know those Bitches hacks
Dave Mmmm, theyre multiplying by the way
Chris Yeah I know, you would think you would find they would dump the ugly one in favour of the new girl, I mean I dont want to talk out of line but you know the phrase you cant polish a ...
Dave Move On
Chris You got Julia who is beautiful, you got the new girl Mel who is beautiful, then you got gorgeous sexy Amy and then you got Laura, no, I was going to say something horrible about Stoke there
Dave Is that where shes from?
Chris No, but she looks like the kind of girl you would encounter in Stoke On Trent, If she went to an all girl school, she would be last to get picked at the footie, you know what Im saying. Now normally the bitches are quite nice but they have written this story about me today and there are a few inaccuracies in there, a few things I would like to query
Dave Such as what?
Chris I will dissect the piece, title says Love is On the Air, CHRIS MOYLES MAY BE A MISERABLE GIT SOMETIMES (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Now i got to stop it there already, seriously when am I a miserable git?, Jesus Christ Im the life and soul of the party.
Dave Move On
Chris THE LARDY RADIO 1 STAR (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Why Why Why choose that word out of all my attributes. Why not well hung, good lover, why not alcoholic.
Dave Only 2 of them are true
Chris All right im not an alcoholic, lets move on, AS THE IDENTITY OF CHRIS BLONDE COMPANION PICTURED 2 WEEKS SNOGGING OUTSIDE THE DJS LOCAL (plays family fortunes incorrect noise) well thats funny cos it wasnt 2 weeks ago, it was about 5 weeks ago and also the Daily Star said it was last week. Yeah last week they printed it saying it was taken yesterday bearing in mind at that time I was in Spain. Not that I want to point that out or anything. A SOURCE AT RADIO 1 TOLD US THE FUTURE COULD BE BRIGHT (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Now im sorry which source is this then?
Dave That was me
Chris No, seriously because if anyone who is associated with my PR has used that phrase then automatically they need to be sacked. You see Im wearing shades in the picture and they just slapped a pun on it. Lets go for another one. THE RIDDLE IS SOLVED SO THE REASON WHY MOYLES HAS GONE TO SO MUCH EFFORT TO LOSE SOME POUNDS (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Hang on a second, if I have been seeing this girl for a few weeks, why the hell have I been training for 18 months you daft tarts. ANOTHER CERTAINTY IS THAT CHRIS HAS BEEN RESEARCHING MUCH MORE THAN THE LATEST POPULAR BEAT COMBOS (plays family fortunes incorrect noise). Hello, have we been transported back to the 1930's? Is this Ready Steady Go? Popular Beat Combos, you are kidding me. This is meant to be a cool column. Then the last bit, LETS HOPE IT LASTS LONGER THAN YOUR FADDY DIETS CHRIS (plays MULTIPLE family fortunes incorrect noises). How many times, I am not on a bloody DIET. Thank you, Im sick of people saying Im on a diet, you know what I had this morning for breakfast, 2 slices of last nights pizza so is that a action of a madman on a diet
Ralf Little texts Chris after he took the piss out of his acting on Paradise Heights. Chris then reveals that earlier Spencer from Big Brother and Dan from Toploader also sent him texts. This gets the team to play a game of Countdown for the fastest text from a Celebrity. There most famous text was from Paul Gallagher, the fatter untalented brother of the Noel. Chris claims that Gaz Top texted him, presenter from How 2. They hold out for Michael Greco but he mustnt have been listening. Chris decides to ring some celebs up and set the phone down on them and let the team guess who he phoned from the person just saying the word Hello. He rang up Gail Porter but it went to voicemail. He then rang up Zoe Ball and she answered but the team didnt get it.
