[The Cornishman]

Its true! The result just came in this morning.Anyway its 'Folk Week' here in the land of the drunken pixie.Every man Jack is fiddle-aye-oh-ing and a seekin' fair maidens galore.The pubs are heaving with washboard-laden beardos and wierdos.
Last night I ventured to St Ives and a Verrie Merrie spectacle it was.But I sit here with deathly palour and quivering shpincter,for not one 24 hours ago I was concaving the spine and enjoying a well earned slash when I heard the sound of dinging and donging behind.Not wishing to make eye contact with the mysterious herdsman I stared intently at my (adequate) old man as it did its duty.An involuntary sideways glance revealed a MORRIS DANCER in full flowery hat/James Harries regalia! And yes-when he 'shook it' his bells rang!.......

[TJD]

why can't morris dancers be circumcised?
because you need to be a complete kn0b to be a morris dancer.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

morris dancing is quickly becoming a lost art and its very sad. its one of the things that made britain great. i learnt how to maypole dance at school an im not ashamed......

Gaspode the "no not that way ohhhh its in a knot again" wonder dog

[kendra k]

morris dancing? maypole dancing? i thought this was only something they did in fairy tales.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

ah you uncultured american fool......

[Sam]

It's real Kendra, sadly it's real. God bless us all.

[Morals]

How does one become a Morris dancer? Are there morris dacning schools? Is there some sort of morris dancing guild one can join? I need information!!

[Jonny Hoare]

Morris dancing.... why the other day i doctored the suspension on my mates marina and did the bugger dance, ohhhhhhh yesss

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

we have morris dancers in a village near us but its all old women.......

[Morals]

jingle jingle jingle *whack*, jingle jingle jingle *whack*....

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

reasons why i cant be a morris dancer....

1. im under 40,
2. i cant grow proper facial hair although strangely my mum can,
3. i have never taught R.E.or geography
4. i have never been a member of a lions, rotary, pta or the masons,
5. i do not secretly worship the devil,
6. i have never been to anything described as a "fayre"
7. i havent got any bells or a stick....

any help on these would be gratefully receieved.....

[Mcqueen_]

2. i cant grow proper facial hair although strangely my mum can,...........
..........7. i havent got any bells or a stick....

A dog with no 'Proper' facial hair, And no Stick, You a let down to the world of dogs!

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

y'see as a wonder dog i shun other canine things in an attempt to be more human-like....

[a_girl_from_mars]

On a different topic..I have just come back from a two week holiday in Cornwall! yay! only another 11 months till I go back.The countdown begins.

[Morals]

Reasons why I want to be a Morris Dancer:

1 - The costume
2 - You get given a big stick you can hit things with, and bells
3 - The respect and admiration of the lady folk of the village

[MK Chris]

Believe me, I live in a village - and the ladies ain't that hot... To be honest they look like they've been set on fire and put out with a shovel, and they certainly ain't gonna respect you if you're a morris dancer!

But you can use the stick to hit all the annoying, smelly horses.

[Morals]

I could be the first offical Morris Dancer of London Village - if that doesn't get me into the Met bar then I don't know what will...