[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Topher McRoundabout was born to a long line of dutch immigrants on a roundabout in Milton Keynes. Keen to adopt a British name they took their lead from the Beckhams and added their own touch by way of the McDonalds across the road.

Since an early age Topher has been groomed to be the next darts world champion taking over from his cousin Raymond Van Barneveld. Sadly the world of minority sport was cut-throat and at the age of seven young Topher was kidnapped by an elite band of Table Tennis players known only as "The Paddlers". Believed to be led by Neil Kinnock they moulded him into a player who was almost good enough to be in the top 100 in britain (there are currently 102 table tennis players in Britain).

As he entered adulthood Topher realised he had led a sheltered life and made strong attempts to drink Milton Keynes dry. Despite numerous attempts to leave his home town Topher has still not managed to find his way out.

[MK Chris]

Ah I think mine's more interesting that Sidders'... Although I wish I was a top 100 player.

The missus is a better player than me, although she does have a national ladies ranking of 118 so she ain't bad.

[kendra k]

they rank ping pong players? crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MK Chris]

I could go off you Ms K... It's table tennis y'know, don't you know anything??

[kendra k]

is it? i really don't know anything.

i actually watch guys play table tennis at the gym while i do the stair machines. it looks like a more enjoyable workout.

[MK Chris]

It is fun, you should try it... Not enough people do.

[Sidders]

I used to play when I was younger, was actually quite good for a while. Wouldn't mind taking it up again but I don't know anyone else who plays.

We have a towel in our house which used to belong to the world table tennis champion.

[kendra k]

how did you get that?

i never really played as a kid and am a little scared to start at the gym. the bay area is one of the table tennis hotspots in the country.

[Sidders]

how did you get that?

My dad used to be the chairman of the local Table Tennis club and he was asked to go and help out at the world championships when they were held at the NIA a few years back. Can't remember how he came to aquire the towel, think he had to move the table around after the world champ had been playing on it and he was told he could keep it or something like that.

[MK Chris]

Which one though... Timo Boll? Jan Over Waldner? I know a double Commonwealth Gold Medal winner in the table tennis, when we had the Commonwealths in Manchester - that's about as far as my claim to fames go...

Sidders, according to this there are three leagues near you...

UK participation is really poor, we don't even know how many individual members of the ETTA (national governing body) there are, but it is reckoned that there are roughly 40,000. In contrast France has over 800,000 - so clearly we are doing something wrong.

[Sidders]

Boll rings a bell, mighta been him.

I know there is a league near me, as I said, my dad used to be chairman. Just that he doesn't play any more and I don't know anyone else who plays. Of course, I could randomly go along to one of the meetings or something, but I'd feel a bit of a twat.

[MK Chris]

Why, if you wanted to play just go along - they must have club nights or something where people go to practise, give someone a bell, there are numbers on that page... Just say you used to play and you're interested in starting again - they'll snap you up in a flash mate, guaranteed.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

a true loss to the world of darts....

[Sidders]

Why, if you wanted to play just go along - they must have club nights or something where people go to practise, give someone a bell, there are numbers on that page... Just say you used to play and you're interested in starting again - they'll snap you up in a flash mate, guaranteed.

I would but... I can't be arsed.

[kendra k]

ahh... the real reason to everything you do.

[Sidders]

That's the purpose of life.

[MK Chris]

a true loss to the world of darts....

Seriously, you should see me play darts...