[The Cornishman]

An alcoholic has discovered when he lays off the booze,the more women find him desirable:
A tipple-less inclination, a little more attraction.

[The Cornishman]

At the local factory, the manager catches the "horn sounder" scoffing a sandwich when he should have been letting everyone know it was home time.
"A little less mastication,a little more klaxon".

[The Cornishman]

Elvis Prieleys Last words
"A little less constipation,a little more action...."

[TJD]

dont you have a life to live?

[Funky Drummer]

Hmmm. That's what I was thinking. I read the first 3 and though "haha, these are quite funny." ...Then I clicked onto page 2 and didnt even bother reading the rest of them.

[TJD]

somebody, please, put cornish tw@ out of his misery

[Funky Drummer]

A gun, someone fetch a gun!

[The Cornishman]

On a similar note this morning I felt compelled to nip over to Ikea Brent Park once again and buy six more bookcases. This brings my tally up to ten in the last three weeks. It's getting out of control. As if that weren't enough, I also bought six additional shelves. Well, I saw them in the warehouse and they looked like they needed a home. Best part of the trip was cycling in the fast lane of the Long Rock Penzance bypass overtaking the traffic dawdling along at a laughable 10mph.

[Adam]

is there no stopping uglybob in what he can come up with....

ad

[Eddie]

Adam what are you on? Cornish Twat is not Uglybob! an dif you were reffering to the thread...shut up!

[Chris]

Much as I hate to agree with Adam ...

Subject: The Most Hated
Author:uglybob

[Lawrie]

uglybob: the Peter Snow of Moylesworld

[Uglybob]

Much as I hate to agree with Adam ...

Subject: The Most Hated
Author:uglybob

sorry what was the argument?

[M+L Fan]

My girl has just come off the pill - she wanted; 'a little less contraception'

[Morals]

I've just been banned from the local Budhist Temple, so at least on my part there'll be 'a little less contemplation' (sorry).

[Lawrie]

My wife took my son to the doctors..she got a cd from him..i asked why he had given her this she replied " cos the babys got a temper"

[Freddo]

i could be predictable and do a "come on Eileen" but i wont do that

[M+L Fan]

I once caught a train in London and realised it was going the wrong way, so I said to the driver; 'A little less Clapham station, a little more Acton please'

[M+L Fan]

I am quite good at breaking wind to a tune, once I was in the bathroom practising a new tune for ages, when someone shouted through the door; 'Stop trying your fart out'

[M+L Fan]

I recently bought Gareth Gates' new single, and was later informed by someone that 'I made a stupid mistake' and that it could happen to 'any one of us'.

[kendra k]

gareth gates is not hot. neither is will young. i put my money on 'fat' rik waller... you don't know how 'fitting' the name is....

[Benjoo]

a nuclear power station has just been put in my small scottish village:
a little more contamination

[Uglybob]

John Stapleton on GMTV produced a sample of cannibis his secret cameraman had filmed buying when the police called in later to the show to question him and of course have a
Little Less Confiscation
of the offending piece

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i stole someones line here so im just going to say they are all rubbish cos i cant think of one at the minute.

[M+L Fan]

I read in the local paper that the council is planning on getting rid of a local nature reserve. Local enviromental campaigners are worried about 'A little less conservation'.