[Spoon]

Yes it's random link time!

Some people have put together some Ultra-Condensed versions of various books and movies. The site's been around for a while but as I'm bored right now, thought I'd tell more people about it.
http://rinkworks.com/bookaminute/
http://rinkworks.com/movieaminute/

BTW, it WILL spoil the book and/or film so make sure they're ones you already know unless you don't care.

For example:
The Lion King
Directed by Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff
1994
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scar
You killed your father.
Simba
(runs away)
Nala
We need you.
Simba
(runs back)

THE END
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, so you need a certain sense of humour, but I don't care 'cause I like it.

[Ickle Angel]

Hey thats just what i need. I have had the first Harry Potter book for weeks and I still havent finished it because I only read on the coach down to London

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

if you havent got time to read a book you havent got time for life.

thats b*llocks by the way but i read a lot. never helped me none.

[Morals]

The Empire Strikes Back
Directed by Irvin Kershner
1980
Ultra-Condensed by Keith Reilly


Luke
I have to go to Dagobah.
Yoda
You have to use the force.
Luke
I have to go to Cloud City.
Darth Vader
You have to go to the dark side.
Luke
No I don't.
Darth Vader
I'm your father.
Luke
No you're not.
Darth Vader
Fine, I'll cut off your hand.

THE END

Pure genius.

[Nablo.]

Thats pure cack as it skips lots of parts and Darth Vader don't go fine I'll cut your hand off.

[Sidders]

The Harry Potter one's rubbish.

[Gigglyboots]

The Sixth Sense...

Haley Joel Osment
I see dead people.
Bruce Willis
Try talking to them.
Haley Joel Osment
It worked.

Easy

[Nablo.]

Prime example of another rubbish one.

[Gigglyboots]

Yes I know, that film is so much more.

[Morals]

The whole point is that it simplifies it so much, that's why it's funny.

[Sheep]

and its less work and quicker.

[Sidders]

I liked this one:

Daylight
Directed by Rob Cohen
1996
Ultra-Condensed by Samuel Stoddard

Ethnically Diverse People
We're trapped in a tunnel. Save us, Sylvester Stallone.
Sylvester Stallone
Grunt.
(He saves them.)

Ethnically Diverse People
We never thought we'd see "daylight" again.

Audience
(leaving the theater) Neither did we.

[Ickle Angel]

Also when films are that short theres no chance that i will fall asleep in them which is what Im famous for.

[MacGlumpher]

here's a condensed version of my typical afternoon.

1. Turn on radio for Moyles.

2. Start foaming at the mouth

3. Enter trance mode while his voice ticks away the minutes to my death.

4. Wake up

5. Have my tea.

[Mcqueen_]

Sounds like a crap film/book to me.

[MacGlumpher]

I don't know - it's better than Neighbours.

[Sidders]

Nah, Neighbours isn't as annoying as you.

[MacGlumpher]

Isn't it? Do you think that means I could get my own TV show?

That would be great.

Me on the telly for 25 minutes a day. Excellent!

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

toadie an dee go over a cliff.... tell me they dont die please.

[Aaron]

when did they go over a cliff or havent they shown it yet?

[MacGlumpher]

Is that some kind of joke?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

they havent shown it yet its after they get married...

[MacGlumpher]

what are you on about? Who's getting married?

[Aaron]

do you watch neighbours? if not it doesnt concern you so f*ck off.

[Sheep]

one of them dies...........