- Thu Oct 11, 2001 9:33 pm
#111168
really this is the last thing before i start to annoy ppl but i just thought it was funny<br><br><br>These are extracts from actual letters sent to various county councils and housing associations throughout the U.K.....<br><br>I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.<br><br>I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put this foot in the hole in his back passage.<br><br>..and their 18-year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.<br><br>I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.<br><br>My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?<br><br>I am writing on behalf of my sink that is coming away from the wall.<br><br>Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.<br><br>We are getting married in September and we would like it in the garden before we move into the house.<br><br>I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.<br><br>Can you please tell me when the repairs will be done as my wife is about to become and expectant mother.<br><br>...50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and the rest are plain filthy.<br><br>I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.<br><br>The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.<br><br>Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.<br><br>Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.<br><br>Would you please send a man to repair my spout, I am an old age pensioner and need it badly.<br><br>I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at am his * wakes me up and its now getting too much for me.<br><br>The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.<br><br>Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.<br><br>I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night.<br><br>Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.<br><br>I have had the clerk of the works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction<br><br>This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2.<br><br>My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.<br><br>And he's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.<br><br>... that is his excuse for dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.<br>
dave benson phillips
chrismoyles.net
