[stevotrash]

after sending in a fake email to the sunday surgery about my battle with 'alcoholism' and thieving money of my grandad i've been asked to be caller on their upcoming drinking related show.<P>be prepared for the ultimate wind up call<P>if you have any good ideas, catchphrases etc to incorporate into the call then please post them.<P>not to surreal as the aim is to stay on air as long as possible

[Rob]

lol! nice one, except what happens if you start laughing?

[Guest]

Tell them you first acquired a taste for alcohol when taking the wine at Holy Communion at church - the vicar started your descent into alcoholic hell..

[wannabe_mrs_moyles]

woooow! hehe!

[stevotrash]

its going to be pretty straight laced to begin with. At the end i may go a bit crazy. Communion wine...i like that idea. <P>This constant drinking makes me very violent at times, it got to such a point that i broke my mums washing line last week.<P>I steal from my grandad, he wouldn't have known if it wasn't for his parrot squaking 'bbaarrhh....dodgy dealings'

[the_dr]

Very funny trash, well done. You gotta make up some fake names for your friends/family who got you into drink. How about 'John Smith' or 'Jack Daniels'  :) Claim that you held some sort of office - like you were an MP or a senior police officer, but drink ruined your life. As for catchphrases, try the ever-funny 'you're my best mate you are, Dr Mark Hamilton' and try slurring your words a bit, maybe a few burps.<P>It should be funny - lookeing forward to it  :)<br>the_dr

[winker]

Let us know when you're gonna be on. It sounds very funny. <P>Ideas to incorporate, maybe.<P>Say that your 'probably' the best drinker in the world. (From the Heineken adverts, I think...probably the best lager in the world)<P>Or say 'I can see the pub from here' ala another lager advert.<P>And finally, ask midway thru if you could go to the toilet. They will say yes, then like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, just give it about five seconds let out a big sigh and say thanks.<P><p>[This message has been edited by winker (edited 02 July 2001).]

[Becki_The_Llama_Girl]

see how many traditional * songs (them ones they used 2 sing in pubs round a piano-IN THE GOOD OL' DAYS) you can do<P>eg daisy daisy<br>my old man<br>etc

[Rob]

If you use some of the words which Moyles has told people to say on programmes (Donkey Magic) then you could feature on the next Moyles show.

[stevotrash]

I don't think i will ever get any more mentions on moyles show. They don't like me.

[the_dr]

I think you will, Moyles will love to take the ****  out of other shows on Radio 1 - unless he is constrained by management.<P>the_dr

[wannabe_mrs_moyles]

why don't they like you?

[Guest]

wicked trash. keep it subtle and very real for a while, then strike. I want "donkey magic" definately, and "someone kick that chimp, and give him a cigar" also incorporated.

[Guest]

so r u gonna be on tonight then?

[Uglybob]

oh if you mention that your uncle has a fication with keeping a violin stuck in his trousers. hes obsessed with fiddling.<br> <A HREF="http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/faithxposed" TARGET=_blank>http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/faithxposed</A> <P>

[Guest]

ok i'll set a minidisc to record radio 1 from 9 - 11 tonight. i wont be listening though, so remind me tomorrow what time trash appears so i can find it and upload it.<P>

[Simon]

So trash were u on or not?

[Guest]

*reaches for the "trash light"* <P>CALLING STEVOTRASH<P>

[James]

Setvotrash, were you on the surgery??????

[Guest]

Stevo it seems you Croatian Cousin has joined according to the Jmaes there

[stevotrash]

hahahahaha<br>my little trash addicts i have returned from a 6 day break in north devon, mingling with young country maids and tweeded farmers.<P>My sunday surgery appearence will take place this sunday or the sunday after (they have yet to confirm the date)

[Rob]

Was that you they just mentioned on sunday surgery? (bullying)<br>

[stevotrash]

bugger..i switched off the radio at that point. Yes it was me, just testing the waters to see whether they have rumbled me yet in preperation for the real deal.

[Guest]

trash. send me some signal this sunday if you're likely to be on. i'll record the momentus occasion on md and upload it for all to hear.