The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#242286
Review by Uglybob

Chris was feeling... German

The reason being he was snapped on his taxi bike that he travels from Radio 1 to the studio. On the bike he has to wear a helmet and mic that he can speak with the driver. The mic in the picture looked like a little moustache a la Adolf Hitler.

The audience were Supermarket Workers and possibly the most annoying crowd of the week down to one person.

Obviously this person had just learnt the art of whistling very loudly that it sounded like a pig squealing. I had hoped that the crew could have told him to shut up during the advert break (I say a man because a woman would not be that annoying intentionally) but he did all the way through the show.


Some facts about the Supermarket Workers. Number who have been chatted up by a customer - 7 people. Number who have said to the customer that theyll check round the back for an item and not bothered - 16 people. Number who worn their uniform on their date - 1 person


Tonights news Headlines

Ill Bust Robbies Face - Liam Gallagher said he will kick the f*** out of Robbie Williams if he tries to contact Nicole Appleton again.

Geri is half the size but her ego is as big as ever - Claims fellow judge Louis Walsh

Quick Silva - Gilberto Silva scores quickest goal in Champions League history in under 20 seconds.

It didnt take long for Chris to take a dig at his enemies, namely the 3am Girls. In the wicked whispers from yesterday it said Which Radio DJ turned Tv Presenter was spotted in a gay club. The lardy DJ was nervous as the police stormed the place whilst he was in it. Chris introduces a new feature called Moyles Murmurs.

Which Shhhhh, Newspaper gossip column is so dull and tedious and so off the mark that 3 of its key journalists have left and fled to rival papers leaving just 2 sad hacks to churn out old showbiz stories older than my mums mums, mums mums mother. Strangely Chris brings out Nature Magazine which had an article about how experts have created the perfect Mexican wave. In it, its say that the start has to have at least 25 people doing it at once. Chris said all you need is 1 person and demonstrated by getting a person to go to bus stops etc and do a wave and see if people joined in.

Off the Top Of My Head on Monday had 5 callers but since that diabolical episode, its been cut down to 3 callers. They were:

Line 1 - Phil In Middlesex - Kissed a shemale in Thailand
Line 2 - Sam in Egham - Became a reverend over the Internet
Line 3 - Ben in Burnley - His picture is in the background on the opening titles of Dangermouse because his dad did the animations for it. Chris was presented with a picture of John Travolta with a mic in hand rocking. Heres how the guessed

Line 1 - Tall, Stylish
Line 2 - Grease, Revolting
Line 3 - Pilot, Groovy --- Groovy was what was in Chris head


The low point of the show was an interview on the phone with Ahmed from Al Baghdadiya Travel. He runs a travel firm that is trying to make Iraq into a popular holiday destination. Yes you heard that right. Chris kept talking over him and wasnt being very amusing with him. Ahmed sang the National Anthem of Iraq, well he talked it to be honest. This makes Chris come up with a new prize of winning a holiday to Iraq. No joking. They are giving away a holiday to Iraq. All you have to do is say in less than 12 words I would like to go to Iraq because.... The winner has to be over 18 and you can text your answers to 86222.

Chris talked to the audience and namely Matt, the spokesperson for the group. Matt gets called Gareth because of his likeness to Gareth Gates. To be honest he looks nothing like him but he has the same twatty hairdo. Chris picks Colm to play Push The Pint. After 2 electric shocks to the Audience, Chris tells Matt to take the last go. Matt didnt get the £1000 prize but he was the first person who managed on M for Moyles so the end of the show was Chris getting shocked. After the 4th day, it seems that the format is setting in.

This is an Uglybob one-off OK, Edd will either be reviewing next weeks or Chris has to find another reviewer.

Sat and today are up