chrismoyles.net
- Wed May 18, 2005 1:05 pm
#242131
Playlist
1: Akon – Locked Up, 2: Studio B - I See Girls, 3: Coldplay – Speed Of Sound, 4: Justin Timberlake – Rock Your Body, 5: The White Stripes – Blue Orchid, 6: Nelly Furtado – Powerless (Say What You Want), 7: Amerie – One Thing, 8: Scissor Sisters – Laura, 9: Basement Jaxx – You Don’t Know Me, 10: Glen Stefanny – I Ain’t Not Heavin’ That Girl, 11: Phantom Planets – California, 12: Kaiser Chiefs – Everyday I Love You Less And Less, 13: Ultrabeat – Pretty Green Eyes, 14: Nelly – N Dey Say, 15: Stereophonics – Have A Nice Day, 16: The Killers – Smile Like You Mean It, 17: Tomcraft – Loneliness, 18: Black Eyed Peas – Don’t Phunk With My Heart, 19: A Tribe Called Quest – Can I Kick It? (tedious), 20: Gorillaz – Feelgood Inc., 21: Bon Garcon – Freak You, 22: U2 – Vertigo, 23: Foo Fighters – Best Of You, 24: Jem – Just a Ride, 25: Mylo – In My Arms
“It’s Wednesday, it’s midweek, and everybody feels like crap”
Chris started the show this morning by saying that the broadcast was going out especially for everyone who was still asleep. The level of sleep which various members of the team had achieved last night was discussed, together with the impact which this sleeping might be having on their morning performance. Seems that it’s not actually everybody that feels like crap and didn’t get much sleep, it’s just Chris.
Celebrity Love Island was the subject of discussion early in the show, complete with clips of Paul Danan (ex Sol out of Hollyoaks) trying to get in bed with Lady Isabella (or Victoria, whichever one it is) Hervey, with the reasoning that he’s “just a cuddly person”. Chris took pleasure in calling Paul Danan a freak for this… but it’s something that I can’t help but imagine he’d say himself after a few jars. Or before, even.
Soccer Six
Chris and Dave, “Gaffer and Jaffa” of the Radio 1 Soccer Six squad for the second year running, realised today that a fundamental part of their role was to actually get a team together. Until Chappers came in with the news that a fair amount of last year’s victorious side would be happy to return (Philip Olivier from The Games, Harvey from So Solid Crew and someone called Jim who saved a crucial penalty for them last time), Radio 1 was to be represented by Chappers, Dr Mark and Spoony. And we all know that Spoony is a loser (who misread “Teenage Kicks” as “Teenage Kids” on the day that John Peel died. Really, who in the world doesn’t know “Teenage Kicks”?), so he shouldn’t be allowed to play anyway, possibly.
Chappers, apparently, is somewhat notorious for being a temperamental swearing monkey on the pitch, and getting sent off a lot. Testosterone, that’s what I blame. And possibly the parents.
Even before the actual team was sorted out, Chris made it clear that achieving a cheerleading squad was one of the most important tasks for the management. The Radio 1 Topless/Top Heavy Lovelies would, if Dave had his way, sing a cheer including the line:
“Winning’s what it’s all about / Score a goal and we’ll get them out”
Chris attempted to solicit the support of Carrie in the venture, who recited a range of cheers in her special little posh way. Rachel’s offers to take part were rebuffed as there was a risk that she may knock the spectators out with the magnitude of her heaving bosom. Bless that woman. Chris eventually asked Aled if he’d like to audition, to which Aled replied “No, I haven’t got good breasts”, which was really the only sensible thing he could have said under the circumstances.
Car Park Catchphrase
Alex from the Wales vs. Matt from St Albans. Alex made inroads early on with “Pie in the sky”, but Matt pulled it back with “Wake up and smell the coffee” and “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched”. Guffawing Matt entered into some banter with Alex by ridiculing his Welshness, which made things almost interesting for a minute or two. Still, same old same old really, and it’s not funny unless the contestants are more stupid than this.
Little Bits Of Other Stuff
Chris had some form of photoshoot yesterday with Terry Wogan (“Hello Christie”), John Humphries and Jonathan Ross. He and Humphries had to stand on Yellow Pages’ to make them of comparable heights to the “not short” Wogan and Ross. On the subject of Ross, Chris officially “would”. It wasn’t revealed what the photoshoot was for, but Chris says we’ll find out soon enough and we’ll be amused.
Many other people must have heard it yesterday, but I didn’t, and the Glen Stefanny thing (“Few times I’ve been around your flat and you end up making me move your crap”) made me giggle like a proper fruit. Especially “the shit is potatoes” followed by various attempts to spell potatoes. It’s like Mark and Lard all over again, and that’s no bad thing.
The new Hayseed Dixie album has fallen into Chris’s possession and therefore hillbilly versions of a myriad of recent hits will be all over the breakfast show until he gets bored of them (which will, almost certainly, be long after the majority of his listeners have). However, as this was early in the onslaught, I was amused by the version of Outkast’s “Roses”. I was even more amused by Chris turning down the music while Dom was singing along obliviously to the “poo poo poo” bit. And my amusement almost knew no bounds when Dom nearly called Chris a bugger for having let the nation hear him singing the word poo.
Dom thinks that he saw a member of Radio 1 staff in a Topps Tiles commercial, demonstrating amazement at the wealth of tile choice instore (using the medium of body, not voice). This suggestion led to an internal memo from Rachel asking the individual in question to come forward. And the planning of the internal memo allowed Dave to utter the immortal words “I’ll get my glockenspiel”.
1: Akon – Locked Up, 2: Studio B - I See Girls, 3: Coldplay – Speed Of Sound, 4: Justin Timberlake – Rock Your Body, 5: The White Stripes – Blue Orchid, 6: Nelly Furtado – Powerless (Say What You Want), 7: Amerie – One Thing, 8: Scissor Sisters – Laura, 9: Basement Jaxx – You Don’t Know Me, 10: Glen Stefanny – I Ain’t Not Heavin’ That Girl, 11: Phantom Planets – California, 12: Kaiser Chiefs – Everyday I Love You Less And Less, 13: Ultrabeat – Pretty Green Eyes, 14: Nelly – N Dey Say, 15: Stereophonics – Have A Nice Day, 16: The Killers – Smile Like You Mean It, 17: Tomcraft – Loneliness, 18: Black Eyed Peas – Don’t Phunk With My Heart, 19: A Tribe Called Quest – Can I Kick It? (tedious), 20: Gorillaz – Feelgood Inc., 21: Bon Garcon – Freak You, 22: U2 – Vertigo, 23: Foo Fighters – Best Of You, 24: Jem – Just a Ride, 25: Mylo – In My Arms
“It’s Wednesday, it’s midweek, and everybody feels like crap”
Chris started the show this morning by saying that the broadcast was going out especially for everyone who was still asleep. The level of sleep which various members of the team had achieved last night was discussed, together with the impact which this sleeping might be having on their morning performance. Seems that it’s not actually everybody that feels like crap and didn’t get much sleep, it’s just Chris.
Celebrity Love Island was the subject of discussion early in the show, complete with clips of Paul Danan (ex Sol out of Hollyoaks) trying to get in bed with Lady Isabella (or Victoria, whichever one it is) Hervey, with the reasoning that he’s “just a cuddly person”. Chris took pleasure in calling Paul Danan a freak for this… but it’s something that I can’t help but imagine he’d say himself after a few jars. Or before, even.
Soccer Six
Chris and Dave, “Gaffer and Jaffa” of the Radio 1 Soccer Six squad for the second year running, realised today that a fundamental part of their role was to actually get a team together. Until Chappers came in with the news that a fair amount of last year’s victorious side would be happy to return (Philip Olivier from The Games, Harvey from So Solid Crew and someone called Jim who saved a crucial penalty for them last time), Radio 1 was to be represented by Chappers, Dr Mark and Spoony. And we all know that Spoony is a loser (who misread “Teenage Kicks” as “Teenage Kids” on the day that John Peel died. Really, who in the world doesn’t know “Teenage Kicks”?), so he shouldn’t be allowed to play anyway, possibly.
Chappers, apparently, is somewhat notorious for being a temperamental swearing monkey on the pitch, and getting sent off a lot. Testosterone, that’s what I blame. And possibly the parents.
Even before the actual team was sorted out, Chris made it clear that achieving a cheerleading squad was one of the most important tasks for the management. The Radio 1 Topless/Top Heavy Lovelies would, if Dave had his way, sing a cheer including the line:
“Winning’s what it’s all about / Score a goal and we’ll get them out”
Chris attempted to solicit the support of Carrie in the venture, who recited a range of cheers in her special little posh way. Rachel’s offers to take part were rebuffed as there was a risk that she may knock the spectators out with the magnitude of her heaving bosom. Bless that woman. Chris eventually asked Aled if he’d like to audition, to which Aled replied “No, I haven’t got good breasts”, which was really the only sensible thing he could have said under the circumstances.
Car Park Catchphrase
Alex from the Wales vs. Matt from St Albans. Alex made inroads early on with “Pie in the sky”, but Matt pulled it back with “Wake up and smell the coffee” and “Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched”. Guffawing Matt entered into some banter with Alex by ridiculing his Welshness, which made things almost interesting for a minute or two. Still, same old same old really, and it’s not funny unless the contestants are more stupid than this.
Little Bits Of Other Stuff
Chris had some form of photoshoot yesterday with Terry Wogan (“Hello Christie”), John Humphries and Jonathan Ross. He and Humphries had to stand on Yellow Pages’ to make them of comparable heights to the “not short” Wogan and Ross. On the subject of Ross, Chris officially “would”. It wasn’t revealed what the photoshoot was for, but Chris says we’ll find out soon enough and we’ll be amused.
Many other people must have heard it yesterday, but I didn’t, and the Glen Stefanny thing (“Few times I’ve been around your flat and you end up making me move your crap”) made me giggle like a proper fruit. Especially “the shit is potatoes” followed by various attempts to spell potatoes. It’s like Mark and Lard all over again, and that’s no bad thing.
The new Hayseed Dixie album has fallen into Chris’s possession and therefore hillbilly versions of a myriad of recent hits will be all over the breakfast show until he gets bored of them (which will, almost certainly, be long after the majority of his listeners have). However, as this was early in the onslaught, I was amused by the version of Outkast’s “Roses”. I was even more amused by Chris turning down the music while Dom was singing along obliviously to the “poo poo poo” bit. And my amusement almost knew no bounds when Dom nearly called Chris a bugger for having let the nation hear him singing the word poo.
Dom thinks that he saw a member of Radio 1 staff in a Topps Tiles commercial, demonstrating amazement at the wealth of tile choice instore (using the medium of body, not voice). This suggestion led to an internal memo from Rachel asking the individual in question to come forward. And the planning of the internal memo allowed Dave to utter the immortal words “I’ll get my glockenspiel”.
