chrismoyles.net
- Tue Mar 23, 2004 11:47 pm
#241888
1. 50 Cent - In Da Club 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Outkast - The Way You Move, 3. Foo Fighters - All My Life, 4. Jamelia - Thank You, 5. BUZZ OFF - Primal Scream - Rocks, 6. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Mary J Blige - Family Affair, 8. Sugababes - In The Middle, 9. Franz Ferdinand - Matinée, 10. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 12. Beyonce Knowles feat Lil' Flip - Naughty Girl, 13. Nelly Furtado - I’m Like A Bird, 14. Eminem - Without Me 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Jakatta - American Dream, 16. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 17. The Thrills - Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far), 18. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 19. New Radicals - You Get What You Give (Tedious Link), 20. The loveGods - Sadie Mercedes (One Music Unsigned List), 21. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 22. Basement Jaxx feat JC Chasez - Plug It In, 23. Will Young - Your Game 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Britney Spears - Toxic, 25. Bubba Sparxx - Ugly, 26. Ash - Shining Light
A very lucky Leeds United beat Man City 2-1 last night to move off the bottom of the Premiership. Chris was understandably chuffed at the result and decided to break with tradition and start off this morning’s show with a goal montage...never saw that one coming. Chris was in a good mood cos of the match last night (he was wearing last season’s home shirt) but it’s fair to say that the words “lucky”, “flukey” and “robbery” were all accurate descriptions of dirty dirty Leeds' performance against City...
Dom (who didn’t see the game) - So it was a convincing display then?
Chris - Yes
Dave - I think you were second best for the majority of the game. City were fantastic and totally dominant
Chris said it was a definite penalty when Alan Smith <s>dived outside the area</s> was brought down in the box. He told Dom to watch the replay from behind the couch with a blindfold on if he didn’t believe him. The match was not the main topic of conversation from last night though, that honour was awarded to the new chairman of Leeds - Mr Gerald Krasner. He looks like a fat coach driver, has a huge lisp, wears his glasses on a chain around his neck (like Chris’s mum at bingo) and talks only in cheesy sound bites. Dave said he was like something out of Spitting Image and did an impersonation that both Dom and Jules found very funny. Gerald was interviewed on Premiership Plus (Sky) after the game yesterday and Chris said that someone needed to say to him thanks for saving the club, but please please just stay off the TV. One texter compared Gerald to Larry Grayson. Chris dropped in clips from his Sky interview after the first news bulletin at 7 o’clock. One in particular was genius. Everyone in the studio found it hilarious and I can guarantee that very few people listening didn’t....
(Clip of Gerald talking about Leeds' position in the Premiership)
Gerald - My view is that we’re coming back. We’re coming back from where we were, we’re off the bottom and we’ll soon be..(pauses)...slightly higher
(Chris plays jingle while everyone laughs)
Two and a half hours later at 9:30, Chris played a game over the Millionaire music in honour of Gypsy Gerald. It asked how many sound bites he managed to fit into his 45 second interview with Sky last night. Rachel correctly guessed eight. Today is Chris’s girlfriend Sophie’s birthday...
Chris (talking about Sophie to Dave) - I said, where do you wanna go tonight. She goes “Oh I dunno...somewhere I’ve never been before”. I said OK then, here’s the kitchen
Dave (pig squeal laugh) - 7:21
Chris - Yeah, I got her a lovely cookery book too
Dave - Did you?
Chris - Yeah, she’ll be shattered after the first page...it says “take a clean pan”
(Dave does another pig squeal laugh)
BUSKER BYRNE AND THE PR GIRLS OUTSIDE:
Newsreader extraordinaire Dominic Byrne was back in the studio to talk to Chris at quarter to eight today. Since starting on breakfast Dom is no longer loathed by the masses at R1, not to mention having become more friendly and chummy with a selection of Hollywood A-listers. This in Chris’s eyes means he’s getting too big for his boots. Seen as though he used to be the singer in a band and that he fancies himself as a bit of a rock star, Chris broke the news to Dom (without any previous warning) that he will be busking for an hour in the streets of Liverpool this Thursday afternoon (providing they can get a busking license for him). Dom was up for the idea and seemed to be spurred on by the fact that the money he makes will go straight into the beer kitty for later that night. Dave said that there is a busker in Liverpool who used to have a cardboard shaped guitar (no actual guitar) and just stand and strum with a big smile on his face. Texts came in saying that he’s still there at the weekend. Other texts came in saying that Liverpool is also home to buskers who play the hoover and do bear dances in helmets. News reached the show after 8 o’clock that there were two bikini clad PR girls standing outside Radio 1 in the freezing cold. Dave said that that was always a good barometer for temperature. The girls were there to shamelessly plug some product or other but Chris wasn’t interested in that - he just wanted a gawp at their norks. He couldn’t leave the studio though as Rachel wouldn’t let him (she needed someone to press the buttons in other words). Therefore the responsibility lay between Dave and Dom - both married men. At 8 o’clock Dom had announced in the weather that it was dull, wet and drizzly in England today. Texts came in from all over the country saying it was hot and very sunny (I was even woken up by the sun before my usual alarm call at ten to seven). Chris said as punishment Dom needed to make the weather as in-depth as possible at 8:30. To do this Dom said he needed to go outside and check the conditions, purely a coincidence then that the two top heavy lovelies were out there as well. Aided by the trusty Moyles mobile, Dom went after them (once again showing off his stalker-like tendencies). He said they were delightful girls called Rebecca and Alicia and were definitely not “munters in ill-fitting t-shirts” as Chris had so elegantly phrased it. Chris’s phone is a picture one so Dom took snaps of the girls to report back to Moyles and Dave with. Chris moaned about the lack of arse shots supplied and Dave said they really needed more multi-angle pics to make up their mind. Chris didn’t - he said Becky was nice but Alicia had a huge nose. Dave added “That said it’s not for us to criticise”.
Chris (as Dom arrived back in the studio) - Dominic is back from checking out the bikini clad PR girls upstairs
Dom - Yeah I had to do it
Chris - Yeah I know but you didn’t have time sadly, you had to be back by the end of the record...good mornin
(Dom coughs and Dave laughs)
Buzz Off today was taken from Chris’s compilation Born To Be Wild, also owned incidentally by Juliette. Dave said it’s a bit Jeremy Clarkson in it’s music taste but he’d let Chris off as the tune he picked (or more precisely Aled randomly picked) was a cracker. It was Rocks by Primal Scream - which was only used as a Tedious Link bang on a month ago (Feb 23rd). Chris encouraged “Buzz On” texts as well as Buzz Off ones and he said that the final ratio was 75% Buzz On to 25% Buzz Off. Rachel was first on the buzzer after 3 mins and 3 seconds, Aled followed on 3:22, Dave was third on 3:25 but no listener buzz came in so the song went the whole way. The team again talked about the clocks going forward on Saturday and got involved in a discussion on time travel. Chris was reading out Dr Steven Hawking’s thoughts on the matter from the internet. Dom said Hawking talks about a black hole...
Chris (interrupting) - Oh, I loved that movie!! They should make Black Hole 2...(pauses)...actually I think Will’s got that
Dave (laughing) - Yeah, on import
(a few laughs in the studio)
Dom - 6 minutes past 8
(Chris plays jingle)
RADIO 1’S SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:>>> Ahh it was back for a second day today...joy. Quite possibly the greatest quiz on UK radio (invented by people called Rachel Jones) was back for Day number 2 - with the same dull gag as yesterday. Chris played another clip from EastEnders and added to the second version the sound effects of a drill, an owl and a dog. The only thing that saved the feature from hitting rock bottom (i.e on a par with Reverse-a-word) was the funny caller that they had on, Emma from London. Despite having won no prize, Emma declared that “Radio 1 kicks arse man”. She was on her way to the studio with her band mates to record their EP (she’s in a band called Death Sex Symbol). Chris said he looks forward to seeing their records rocket into the chart one day....at number 79 (just ahead of Nickelback). Today is Day 2 of One Music Week on Radio 1. Today’s demo came courtesy of The loveGods (awful name, fit singer). They are a four piece band from Brighton. Chris and Dave both really liked the track that they played from them called Sadie Mercedes. You can hear it here (note:- you’ll need Real One Player) or you can download the mp3 here. There are more details on all the unsigned artists on the playlist at http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onemusic/playlist/.
(The One Music Unsigned Playlist - The loveGods)
CAN WE KICK ALED? - YES WE CAN:
The welsh one (who’s off to see pink tonight - that’s the singer you understand) had annoyed Chris before the show this morning. Moyles had asked him at around quarter to six if he could see the spot on his forehead. Aled said no but once Chris had pointed it out he said that Chris had four spots on his head, not one. Chris said this was very sarcastic and cheeky, although Jones protested his innocence and said he was simply being nice and Chris had been nasty and rude to him in return. With it being ramble time/half time after nine o’clock, Chris opened up a text poll that asked whether or not he could give Aled a hefty boot up the arse as punishment for his cheekiness. The options were YES YOU CAN and NO YOU CAN’T to 81199 in an A Tribe Called Quest stylee. The rules were that if Chris lost the vote then Aled would give him a hefty boot up the backside instead. Aled said that if it was a fair vote he’d abide by the listeners decision. But in the meantime...
Aled - How about if I squeeze your spot? Will that help?
Chris - How about if I squeeze your head...in a vice
(Dave & Aled laugh)
A total of 5268 texts came in with 55% of them saying yes Chris could boot Aled in the arse and 45% saying that no he couldn’t. Aled said some of the texts coming in had been really vicious. Chris talked about the “kicking ceremony” for a bit too long and Rachel wanted him to move on.
Rachel (off mic) - Get on with it, play a record
Chris - Ooohh! Eh, don’t you start with me. I’ve got two feet - that’s two arses I could woop....well, not at the same time obviously
Dave - Yeah, you’d fall on your own arse if you did that wouldn’t you
Following the 9:30 news and sport, a Gerald sound bite game, 3 records and a long edition of Carpark Catchphrase, Chris had been left with just a minute or so at the end of the show to carry out the kicking on Aled. He was feeling in a generous mood though and said because the vote had been so tight, Aled could kick him first before he returned the favour. Chris bent over the desk as Aled lined up behind him (good mornin) and Jones then proceeded to boot him so hard that Chris was temporarily in a state of shock. Chris then tried to grab Aled as he ran round the studio shouting “Yes!!” but the clock had beaten him to it. Chris said Aled is well and truly dead tomorrow.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
KAREN a nurse from Ellington in Northumberland with a crappy horn 2
ALEX a 23 year old pub landlord from Bridgewater in Somerset 1
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Lazy Days - Robbie Williams shares the same surname as Kenneth Williams - Kenneth Williams starred in the Carry On Movies alongside Barbara Windsor - Windsor Castle is one of the many residences of the queen - Queen the band were fronted by Freddie Mercury - Freddie Mercury shared the same christian name as Freddie Starr, who himself starred alongside Australian disc jockey Jono Coleman, who is now a training buddy of Chris Moyles at his specialist members only gym - Jim Kerr is the lead singer of Simple Minds and was previously married to Patsy Kensit, who is now an ex of both Liam Gallagher and curiously David Walliams of Little Britain - Little Britain was a 1996 hit for Dreadzone - Dreadzone shouldn’t be mistaken for Ozone, which is actually a protective layer around the earth’s surface which shields us from harmful rays and stuff like that - Harmful rays can also be protected against with the use of sunscreen - Sunscreen or more precisely Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) was a number one in 1999, thanks entirely to this show who championed it as hit makers and chart angels in 1999 - the same year that another record did rather well in the charts entirely without our help, and that was You Get What You Give by the New Radicals - Which links us to the New Radicals and You Get What You Give
A very lucky Leeds United beat Man City 2-1 last night to move off the bottom of the Premiership. Chris was understandably chuffed at the result and decided to break with tradition and start off this morning’s show with a goal montage...never saw that one coming. Chris was in a good mood cos of the match last night (he was wearing last season’s home shirt) but it’s fair to say that the words “lucky”, “flukey” and “robbery” were all accurate descriptions of dirty dirty Leeds' performance against City...
Dom (who didn’t see the game) - So it was a convincing display then?
Chris - Yes
Dave - I think you were second best for the majority of the game. City were fantastic and totally dominant
Chris said it was a definite penalty when Alan Smith <s>dived outside the area</s> was brought down in the box. He told Dom to watch the replay from behind the couch with a blindfold on if he didn’t believe him. The match was not the main topic of conversation from last night though, that honour was awarded to the new chairman of Leeds - Mr Gerald Krasner. He looks like a fat coach driver, has a huge lisp, wears his glasses on a chain around his neck (like Chris’s mum at bingo) and talks only in cheesy sound bites. Dave said he was like something out of Spitting Image and did an impersonation that both Dom and Jules found very funny. Gerald was interviewed on Premiership Plus (Sky) after the game yesterday and Chris said that someone needed to say to him thanks for saving the club, but please please just stay off the TV. One texter compared Gerald to Larry Grayson. Chris dropped in clips from his Sky interview after the first news bulletin at 7 o’clock. One in particular was genius. Everyone in the studio found it hilarious and I can guarantee that very few people listening didn’t....
(Clip of Gerald talking about Leeds' position in the Premiership)
Gerald - My view is that we’re coming back. We’re coming back from where we were, we’re off the bottom and we’ll soon be..(pauses)...slightly higher
(Chris plays jingle while everyone laughs)
Two and a half hours later at 9:30, Chris played a game over the Millionaire music in honour of Gypsy Gerald. It asked how many sound bites he managed to fit into his 45 second interview with Sky last night. Rachel correctly guessed eight. Today is Chris’s girlfriend Sophie’s birthday...
Chris (talking about Sophie to Dave) - I said, where do you wanna go tonight. She goes “Oh I dunno...somewhere I’ve never been before”. I said OK then, here’s the kitchen
Dave (pig squeal laugh) - 7:21
Chris - Yeah, I got her a lovely cookery book too
Dave - Did you?
Chris - Yeah, she’ll be shattered after the first page...it says “take a clean pan”
(Dave does another pig squeal laugh)
BUSKER BYRNE AND THE PR GIRLS OUTSIDE:
Newsreader extraordinaire Dominic Byrne was back in the studio to talk to Chris at quarter to eight today. Since starting on breakfast Dom is no longer loathed by the masses at R1, not to mention having become more friendly and chummy with a selection of Hollywood A-listers. This in Chris’s eyes means he’s getting too big for his boots. Seen as though he used to be the singer in a band and that he fancies himself as a bit of a rock star, Chris broke the news to Dom (without any previous warning) that he will be busking for an hour in the streets of Liverpool this Thursday afternoon (providing they can get a busking license for him). Dom was up for the idea and seemed to be spurred on by the fact that the money he makes will go straight into the beer kitty for later that night. Dave said that there is a busker in Liverpool who used to have a cardboard shaped guitar (no actual guitar) and just stand and strum with a big smile on his face. Texts came in saying that he’s still there at the weekend. Other texts came in saying that Liverpool is also home to buskers who play the hoover and do bear dances in helmets. News reached the show after 8 o’clock that there were two bikini clad PR girls standing outside Radio 1 in the freezing cold. Dave said that that was always a good barometer for temperature. The girls were there to shamelessly plug some product or other but Chris wasn’t interested in that - he just wanted a gawp at their norks. He couldn’t leave the studio though as Rachel wouldn’t let him (she needed someone to press the buttons in other words). Therefore the responsibility lay between Dave and Dom - both married men. At 8 o’clock Dom had announced in the weather that it was dull, wet and drizzly in England today. Texts came in from all over the country saying it was hot and very sunny (I was even woken up by the sun before my usual alarm call at ten to seven). Chris said as punishment Dom needed to make the weather as in-depth as possible at 8:30. To do this Dom said he needed to go outside and check the conditions, purely a coincidence then that the two top heavy lovelies were out there as well. Aided by the trusty Moyles mobile, Dom went after them (once again showing off his stalker-like tendencies). He said they were delightful girls called Rebecca and Alicia and were definitely not “munters in ill-fitting t-shirts” as Chris had so elegantly phrased it. Chris’s phone is a picture one so Dom took snaps of the girls to report back to Moyles and Dave with. Chris moaned about the lack of arse shots supplied and Dave said they really needed more multi-angle pics to make up their mind. Chris didn’t - he said Becky was nice but Alicia had a huge nose. Dave added “That said it’s not for us to criticise”.
Chris (as Dom arrived back in the studio) - Dominic is back from checking out the bikini clad PR girls upstairs
Dom - Yeah I had to do it
Chris - Yeah I know but you didn’t have time sadly, you had to be back by the end of the record...good mornin
(Dom coughs and Dave laughs)
Buzz Off today was taken from Chris’s compilation Born To Be Wild, also owned incidentally by Juliette. Dave said it’s a bit Jeremy Clarkson in it’s music taste but he’d let Chris off as the tune he picked (or more precisely Aled randomly picked) was a cracker. It was Rocks by Primal Scream - which was only used as a Tedious Link bang on a month ago (Feb 23rd). Chris encouraged “Buzz On” texts as well as Buzz Off ones and he said that the final ratio was 75% Buzz On to 25% Buzz Off. Rachel was first on the buzzer after 3 mins and 3 seconds, Aled followed on 3:22, Dave was third on 3:25 but no listener buzz came in so the song went the whole way. The team again talked about the clocks going forward on Saturday and got involved in a discussion on time travel. Chris was reading out Dr Steven Hawking’s thoughts on the matter from the internet. Dom said Hawking talks about a black hole...
Chris (interrupting) - Oh, I loved that movie!! They should make Black Hole 2...(pauses)...actually I think Will’s got that
Dave (laughing) - Yeah, on import
(a few laughs in the studio)
Dom - 6 minutes past 8
(Chris plays jingle)
RADIO 1’S SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:>>> Ahh it was back for a second day today...joy. Quite possibly the greatest quiz on UK radio (invented by people called Rachel Jones) was back for Day number 2 - with the same dull gag as yesterday. Chris played another clip from EastEnders and added to the second version the sound effects of a drill, an owl and a dog. The only thing that saved the feature from hitting rock bottom (i.e on a par with Reverse-a-word) was the funny caller that they had on, Emma from London. Despite having won no prize, Emma declared that “Radio 1 kicks arse man”. She was on her way to the studio with her band mates to record their EP (she’s in a band called Death Sex Symbol). Chris said he looks forward to seeing their records rocket into the chart one day....at number 79 (just ahead of Nickelback). Today is Day 2 of One Music Week on Radio 1. Today’s demo came courtesy of The loveGods (awful name, fit singer). They are a four piece band from Brighton. Chris and Dave both really liked the track that they played from them called Sadie Mercedes. You can hear it here (note:- you’ll need Real One Player) or you can download the mp3 here. There are more details on all the unsigned artists on the playlist at http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onemusic/playlist/.
(The One Music Unsigned Playlist - The loveGods)
CAN WE KICK ALED? - YES WE CAN:
The welsh one (who’s off to see pink tonight - that’s the singer you understand) had annoyed Chris before the show this morning. Moyles had asked him at around quarter to six if he could see the spot on his forehead. Aled said no but once Chris had pointed it out he said that Chris had four spots on his head, not one. Chris said this was very sarcastic and cheeky, although Jones protested his innocence and said he was simply being nice and Chris had been nasty and rude to him in return. With it being ramble time/half time after nine o’clock, Chris opened up a text poll that asked whether or not he could give Aled a hefty boot up the arse as punishment for his cheekiness. The options were YES YOU CAN and NO YOU CAN’T to 81199 in an A Tribe Called Quest stylee. The rules were that if Chris lost the vote then Aled would give him a hefty boot up the backside instead. Aled said that if it was a fair vote he’d abide by the listeners decision. But in the meantime...
Aled - How about if I squeeze your spot? Will that help?
Chris - How about if I squeeze your head...in a vice
(Dave & Aled laugh)
A total of 5268 texts came in with 55% of them saying yes Chris could boot Aled in the arse and 45% saying that no he couldn’t. Aled said some of the texts coming in had been really vicious. Chris talked about the “kicking ceremony” for a bit too long and Rachel wanted him to move on.
Rachel (off mic) - Get on with it, play a record
Chris - Ooohh! Eh, don’t you start with me. I’ve got two feet - that’s two arses I could woop....well, not at the same time obviously
Dave - Yeah, you’d fall on your own arse if you did that wouldn’t you
Following the 9:30 news and sport, a Gerald sound bite game, 3 records and a long edition of Carpark Catchphrase, Chris had been left with just a minute or so at the end of the show to carry out the kicking on Aled. He was feeling in a generous mood though and said because the vote had been so tight, Aled could kick him first before he returned the favour. Chris bent over the desk as Aled lined up behind him (good mornin) and Jones then proceeded to boot him so hard that Chris was temporarily in a state of shock. Chris then tried to grab Aled as he ran round the studio shouting “Yes!!” but the clock had beaten him to it. Chris said Aled is well and truly dead tomorrow.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
KAREN a nurse from Ellington in Northumberland with a crappy horn 2
ALEX a 23 year old pub landlord from Bridgewater in Somerset 1
Daves Tedious Link
Robbie Williams Lazy Days - Robbie Williams shares the same surname as Kenneth Williams - Kenneth Williams starred in the Carry On Movies alongside Barbara Windsor - Windsor Castle is one of the many residences of the queen - Queen the band were fronted by Freddie Mercury - Freddie Mercury shared the same christian name as Freddie Starr, who himself starred alongside Australian disc jockey Jono Coleman, who is now a training buddy of Chris Moyles at his specialist members only gym - Jim Kerr is the lead singer of Simple Minds and was previously married to Patsy Kensit, who is now an ex of both Liam Gallagher and curiously David Walliams of Little Britain - Little Britain was a 1996 hit for Dreadzone - Dreadzone shouldn’t be mistaken for Ozone, which is actually a protective layer around the earth’s surface which shields us from harmful rays and stuff like that - Harmful rays can also be protected against with the use of sunscreen - Sunscreen or more precisely Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) was a number one in 1999, thanks entirely to this show who championed it as hit makers and chart angels in 1999 - the same year that another record did rather well in the charts entirely without our help, and that was You Get What You Give by the New Radicals - Which links us to the New Radicals and You Get What You Give
