The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241834
1. Pink - God Is A DJ 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Outkast - Hey Ya, 3. Liberty X - Just A Little, 4. Motorcycle - As The Rush Comes, 5. BUZZ OFF - Nik Kershaw - The Riddle, 6. Lemar - Dance (With U) 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Evanescence - Bring Me To Life, 8. Kelis - Milkshake, 9. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 10. Jamelia - Superstar 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Barenaked Ladies - One Week, 12. Ultrabeat - Feelin' Fine, 13. Victoria Beckham - This Groove, 14. 50 Cent - In Da Club 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Joe Budden - Pump It Up, 16. Sugababes - Too Lost In You, 17. Sean Paul - Get Busy, 18. The Shamen - Ebeneezer Goode (Tedious Link), 19. The Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up, 20. Lost Prophets - Last Train Home, 21. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 22. Beyonce Knowles - Me, Myself and I, 23. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Jakatta - American Dream, 25. Justin Timberlake - I’m Loving It, 26. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Uh-Oooh), 27. The Strokes - Reptilia

Chris opened today by moaning at Nemone about her awful backtiming into the show (she’s obviously been taking lessons from her predecessor and king of the backtimers Scott Mills). Nemone said sorry while Chris impersonated her badly. She promised to do better next week but Chris told her to just blame Lizzie instead from now on. Chris had no time for a link before 7 so played a spoof ad for “Cider Stream”, the new drink for students in debt - “The Futures Great, The Futures Apples”. Chris only got four and a half hours sleep again last night, Rachel and Dave got up at ten past 4 and Aled at 4.30. Aled said he had to take a sleeping tablet though as he’s had virtually no sleep at all this week. Chris said it was shocking but he is actually enjoying getting up so early in the morning and coming in to do the breakfast show. He bumped in to Coxy when he left yesterday. She said he was hiding his face under his hood. He said he was as his skin is terrible and the whole show this week is like an advert for spot cream. He is using cream called “Turnaround”. His new routine when he gets up is shower (although he had a bath today), brush his teeth, turnaround cream on, gel in the hair (doesn’t matter if it’s 4 and a half years old) and then he’s ready to leave. Chris said his hair is getting quite long again and he wants to shave it all off, but his usual hairdresser is on holiday. Chris said he’d look like a fat Dermot O’Leary but another text said more like Fred Elliott. Dave fell off the wagon last night after just 8 days of his planned month off the booze. He is going to the Everton match at Fulham tomorrow so will be drinking again.There were more new jingles from American Paul on todays show: “The Chris Moyles Show on Radio 1 - Officially The Biggest Show In The World” , “Chris, Dave, Rachel and Aled - Come On In...The Show’s Lovely” and “Chris, Dave, Rachel and Aled - Wishing you a very good morning and a pleasant onward day.

Chris was in a bit of a controversial mood and called the girls from Liberty X sluts his first link. A bit harsh on Kellie and Jessica perhaps but he has a point with Michelle. The final Buzz Off track of the week was one of Chris’s less popular choices so far. So unpopular in fact that Aled buzzed after just 8 seconds and Rachel on 9. Dave sang along for a bit but gave up after 2 mins and the listeners followed shortly after. Chris carried on playing it though and by the end of the link well over 3000 texts had come in saying Buzz Off. The track that provoked such a response? Nik Kershaw - The Riddle (1984 kids). Chris said he was glad to have got to Friday this week, mainly because it’s the end of his and Dave’s first week on their new contract. Dominic asked if they were on a week-by-week pay rise. Chris said no but it was a good idea. Dave said it wasn’t like Millionaire. Another dull news day today and the only thing worth noting was a robbery by a man in a large chicken suit in the States. The comment from the police spokesman amused Chris and Dave - “We think the robber may have access to some kind of chicken suit”. Chris played chicken sound effects through Juliet’s sports bulletin to annoy her. Vernon Kay’s second “Happy Hour” is live from LA this Sunday and he was live on the phone from a bar in Sunset Boulevard at 7.45. He denied he was in a gaybar despite his admittance he had been down on the beach recording interviews with “muscle men”. The main guest on the show will be that annoying cow and queen of Radio 1 airplay herself, Geri Halliwell. The best text to sum up the link was one that came in asking who Vernon Kay was.

VICTORIA BECKHAM LIVE IN THE STUDIO AFTER 8AM:
Typically after me saying the interview would be crap yesterday, it was quite good. She wanted to pick Chris’s spots for him. She semi-plugged her new DVD although (not fulfilling her stereotype in any way) she needed a piece of paper from her record company people to remind her when it was out and what stuff was on it. Chris asked her what it was like being up so early in the morning. She said she was used to it as she’s normally up with the kids. Chris told her to put his show on by going to Channel 851 on Sky, while the kids are riding around on their motorised tractors. Chris chatted briefly about the whole rapping thing again and she told him about the rumour she’d heard saying she was having an affair with Damon Dash. Chris said it would be like having sex with Paravotti. He asked Victoria about the rumour she’s been asked to present this years Brits. She said she has but doesn’t think she’s going to do it. Hallelujah. Chris said it was a good idea not to. The Sun has reportedly leaked news of this years nominations that will be announced next week. You can read the story here but check back to this page on Monday for the nominees in full. As a present Chris had got Victoria a £15 fake Gucci bag from the market. It had a biro inside it. Dave said it would look great in the players lounge at the Bernabeu. He had a query about her gift though:
Dave - Technically isn’t the giving of counterfeit goods illegal?
Chris - I’m not sure (Rachel, Victoria and Aled laugh). It’s more possession than giving. Anyway it’s not mine, it’s Victoria’s...lawbreaker.

Chris’s other half Sophie had a question for Victoria. Chris was explaining to her that Sophie was very smart when Dave started laughing. Victoria said that was rude and said she was sure Sophie was highly intelligent:
Chris (to Dave) - She’s more intelligent than your wife but even you’d agree to that
(Dave laughs which causes Victoria to laugh)
Chris (impersonating Emma and telling story) - DAVE!!...Sitting underneath a candle the other day and getting wax all over her jacket..
Dave - (laughs)..actually she got that out
Chris - Eh?
Dave - Baking paper and an iron
Chris - Don’t say that, they gave you money
Dave (remembering) - Oh yeah. She hasn’t got it out. She needs to get it cleaned
(Everyone laughs)

Anyway Sophie’s question turned out to be a blag for Real Madrid tickets that Victoria somehow agreed to. She said only if Chris wore the fake handbag though. Chris had a practice and Dave said he looked like Jeremy from Airport. Victoria ended up signing the bag as she didn’t really want it (much to Chris’s disappointment) and it will be given away on Monday’s show. On a slightly lower level in terms of football blags, Rachel wants tickets for the away end in the Wolves - Kidderminster FA Cup replay on Tuesday night.
Image Image
As you can see from the picture on the right, Dave was the milkman in Chris’s TV ad and after much messing about Dave found the first correct e-mail from Monday, meaning Ross in the highlands won the binman jacket Chris wore in the advert.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
DARREN a racing driver from Maidstone 2 (caused temporary panic when he said shit hot but said sorry)
SUE a meat deliverer from Eastbourne 1

Daves Tedious Link
Oasis Live Forever - If you live forever you might be referred to as being immortal - The word immortal is one of the few words in the English language which begins with the letter ‘I’ - another one of course being Igloo - An Igloo is a term for a house made of ice - Ice Ice Baby was a big hit in 1990 - the same year that saw the commencement of Operation Desert-Storm - A storm is something which brews and in that respect shares something in common with tea - Tea comes from China - as does Ken Hom who markets his own brand of wok - Wok rhymes with * which is a primary ingredient in the dish Coq au Vin - Vin is the french word for wine - Wine is made from grapes as are raisins - Raisins are very similar to sultanas - Sultanas are the female version of Sultans - Sultans of Swing was a big hit for Dire Straits - Straits or more precisely the Menai Straits are what separate Anglesey from North Wales - North Wales is famous for it’s mountains and when you think of the word ‘mountain’ in the context of early 90’s dance pop you think of Move Any Mountain by The Shamen - Which links us (bizarrely not to Move Any Mountain by The Shamen but) to The Shamen and Ebeneezer Goode

WEEK BEST BITS: This will be in each Friday’s Review from now on. I will pick a best show of the week and a moment of the week, don’t forget all the shows are available to Listen Again to by visiting Chris's mini-site at Radio 1 ONLINE.
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Wednesday (but Monday for the occasion)
MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Mondays show opener (but Aled’s “TOM! TOM !” was a close second)

Sat and today are up