chrismoyles.net
- Mon Nov 10, 2003 11:49 pm
#241804
1. Fatman Scoop feat The Crooklyn Clan - Be Faithful, 2. Layo & Bushwacka - Love Story (vs Finally), 3. The Coral - Bill McCai, 4. Liberty X - Jumpin, 5. Ludacris - Stand Up 3:30 NEWS 6. Angel City feat Lara McAllen - Love Me Right, 7. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 8. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman (album track), 9. Lumidee - Never Leave You (Uh-Oooh), 10. Michael Woods - Solex (Close to the Edge), 11. Outkast - Hey Ya, 12. Jaimeson - True, 13. Puddle Of Mudd - Away From Me, 14. Beyonce Knowles feat Sean Paul - Baby Boy 4:30 NEWS AND SPORT 15. Travis - Sing, 16. Linus Loves feat Sam Obernik - Stand Back, 17. Alex Parks - Maybe That's What It Takes, 18. R Kelly - Ignition (Remix), 19. Dido - Life For Rent 5:00 NEWS AND SPORT 20. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 21. Puretone - Addicted To Bass, 22. Christina Aguilera - The Voice Within, 23. Coldplay - Clocks, 24. James - Tomorrow (Tedious Link), 25. 50 Cent feat Snoop Dogg - P.I.M.P, 26. Rachel Stevens - Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex
OFFICIAL CHRIS MOYLES ANNOUNCEMENT (MADE AT APPROX 3:55PM TODAY) ‘As of today Monday 10th November in the year of our lord 2003, I would like to take this opportunity to officially apply for the vacant managers job at Leeds United Football Club. As a Leeds United fan, I feel I possess the necessary passion and drive to get the most out of our current playing squad and am confident that I can be the person to revive the fortunes of this great club. I’m fully aware that Leeds United football club are not in the best financial health and that money is extremely tight at the moment, I feel therefore that motivation is the key. The mountain we have to climb must be conquered with the players currently on our payroll. It’s fair to say that we haven’t had the greatest luck with managers in recent times, but I’m confident that I can turn things around. I will admit that on paper I am perhaps not the most highly qualified applicant for this high profile position, but I am a local lad like Alan Smith and have plenty of fire in my belly and a burning desire to get us out of trouble. We all know that serious financial savings need to be made for the long term security of the club and I am therefore willing to offer my services for a knockdown price. I’m willing to take on the job as manager of Leeds United for a mere *coughs* £500 000 per annum *coughs* - in order to save so much of the needed funds. In The Words of Yazz and The Plastic Population, I feel that the only way is up...and also I believe that children are our future. I have a dream that young men in white kits can perform to the best of their ability, and that with a bit of luck...and a following wind, we can achieve Premiership safety and build towards a brighter future. So I ask you Professor John McKenzie...currently on safari, the LUFC board and the supporters of Leeds United Football club...Vote Moyles and give a fat lad from Leeds the chance to manage his home town club...because after all, things couldn’t be any worse could they?’
(Dave and Aled clap and whistle)
There was a lot of football on the show today as you can gather just from the above statement. Let’s begin with the news that Peter Reid was officially sacked by Leeds United today after their 6-1 thrashing by Portsmouth on Saturday. Chris opened by playing the I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here theme tune and said ‘I’m a Leeds United fan, Get Me Out Of Here’. Having done this Chris played all of the goals from Saturday’s game (they went on forever) over a comedy Benny Hill bed. A text came in saying well done to Chris for playing the goals. It said he had big balls which Dave said must have been quite a compliment. If Comedy Dave’s beloved Everton lose tonight at Blackburn, Chris has vowed to open tomorrow’s show with the goals. Dave wasn’t confident about tonight’s game. Chris was hoping for a no score draw. Dave said Everton were quite good at those. Everton in fact lost 2-1 and join Leeds in the bottom 3. Dave from Derby sent a text saying there are some good grounds in Division One that they will be visiting next year. Chris asked Dave if this season is Everton's 125th anniversary. Dave said ‘of course’ and said the club were founded in 1878, exactly 100 years before his wife was. Chris found it funny that Dave remembers how old his wife is because her date of birth happens to be 100 years younger than Everton Football Club. Chris looked at the weekends FA Cup scores and the results of the non-league sides that he, Aled, Dave and Ray Stubbs put their support behind on Friday. It didn’t go too well to say the least. Aled’s Salisbury lost 4-0, Dave’s Borehamwood also lost 4-0 and Chris’s Shildon got spanked 7-2. Stubbys Accrington were the only ones to win.
The text system wasn’t working at the start of today’s show. Chris seemed pretty convinced that they were getting 1Xtra’s text messages through as the first text of the show started ‘Yo Yo KC. Where u bin. Do me a favour and play Love Is Here To Stay by Terra Danja, Bo’. Chris played a track from Kylie’s new album Body Language and said he couldn’t believe that Slow was number one. Dave tried to make the point that the video for Slow is ‘well choreographed’ but it took him a couple of minutes as he stumbled through what he was trying to say. Dave seemed a bit off the boil today. Chris moaned about all the leaves piling up in his garden. He asked where the bloody hell they came from and said the only good thing about leaves was running through and ruining the big piles of them that neighbours make in the street. Jerry Springer was in the studio after 4. Although he clearly wasn’t feeling 100%, he was a good guest nonetheless. The last time Jerry was on the show (on the now legendary Saturday Show) Chris, Jerry, Dave and Chris’s mum went for lunch in the pub round the corner afterwards. Chris also recalled the time he made Anthea Turner cry when he went on Jerry Springer’s Channel 5 chat show a couple of years back. Chris remembers Jerry telling him that he had a ‘big set of balls on him’. Chris's balls were a bit of a recurring theme today for some reason.
Chris: ‘I’ve got some notes on your show Jerry. (reads) The Jerry
Springer show is now in it’s 12th series’.
Jerry: ‘13th season’.
PAUSE
Chris: ‘There not very good notes....’
Jerry: ‘There a year old’
Chris: ‘...but I have them’.
Jerry is in London to attend the West End premiere of Jerry Springer The Opera. Chris kept on referring to it as a Musical. He said there was no difference. Jerry said Opera has fat ladies in. The actual show has nothing to do with Springer but he said he liked it, although he didn't sound too convincing. A text came in saying that the interview was clearly pre-recorded. It was live and Chris said he needed to find a way of proving it was live. He said telling the time wouldn’t work as they could have played the interview out to fit it exactly. Dave suggested talking about some news stories from today that would prove it was live. Chris said ‘The Beatles have split up’. Chris tried to get Jerry’s support in his bid to become manager of LUFC. This took the conversation down the route of differences between American and British sports. It was one of the best links in months. Jerry took the piss out of the fact that we Brits say changing rooms/dressing rooms rather than ‘locker rooms’. He asked if the players sat in front of their ‘changing cabinets’. Dave didn’t really back up Chris when he tried to defend our changing rooms, so Chris went into a full blooded attack on American football, Basketball and Ice Hockey that was really funny (clip for the Sound Vault probably). A text came in saying that we call locker rooms changing rooms because we trust our teammates, which even Jerry admitted was quite a good line.
Steve the bodyguard is still on the show. He is married and Jerry said that he was growing his eyebrows so he can comb them back (hes bald you see). Jerry asked for 50 quid. Jerry said that now hes back on radio to make it a fiver (a dig at Moyles failed Channel 5 show). Jerry will be walking on a red carpet in a hired tuxedo. Jerry wasnt as good as he usually is. Chris afterwards thought he sounded a bit tired. Dave agreed that he sounded a bit jaded.
Chris made up a slogan called Worst to First for his failed bid for Leeds Utd managers job. Chris said that the inevitable people will be texting in to say Worst to First... Division. Chris said that Christina Aguileras voice is not a million miles away from the voice of Michael Jackson on Bo Selecta. Dave said that there was 6000 people supporting Chris for the vacant managers job. Id say the way he was counting it was more like 6th. Chris said if he took over he would allow ordinary people to play for him for different values.
£10000 - bring you on with 10 minutes to go
1 milion - play you from the start
£500,000 - play you from the start at reserve games
Mark Chapman wanted to support him. Chris was later featured on Newsbeat talking about the Leeds crisis. Dave started talking like he was a teenager whose voice was dropping. Paddy Power have priced Chris at 250/1 for next Leeds manager. Leeds to win the league is 10,000/1. So you have better odds for them winning the league than Chris becoming next manager.
Chris mucked up Rachel Stevens track. He wanted Dave to talk over the track but he wanted to loop it live but it didnt work. This lasted longer as he pressed the button for the news and got Rachel Stevens song again.
Daves Tedious Link
The Grid with Swamp Thing - The grid is where the cars assemble before the Formula 1 race starts - Formula 1 drivers wear overalls as do painters - Painters are major purchasers of paint - Paint can be gloss or matt - Matt is an abbreviation of Matthew - Matthew is a name which features in the Bible - Bibles are normally found in hotel rooms as are very small kettles - Kettles are used to boil water - Water has the chemical symbol o2 which in turn sponsor Arsenal - An arsenal is like a store for weapons - Weapons can be extremely dangerous as can certain types of snake - Snake rhymes with cake which is sometimes served with afternoon tea - T is the first letter of many of the days of the week including Thursday and Tuesday - And Tuesday is the day that falls exactly midway between Monday and Wednesday and therefore if it is a Monday which it is today then Tuesday is tomorrow - Which links us to James and Tomorrow
BIG FLAWS
* Waters chemical symbol is H2O and O2
* Only 2 days have T in their name
OFFICIAL CHRIS MOYLES ANNOUNCEMENT (MADE AT APPROX 3:55PM TODAY) ‘As of today Monday 10th November in the year of our lord 2003, I would like to take this opportunity to officially apply for the vacant managers job at Leeds United Football Club. As a Leeds United fan, I feel I possess the necessary passion and drive to get the most out of our current playing squad and am confident that I can be the person to revive the fortunes of this great club. I’m fully aware that Leeds United football club are not in the best financial health and that money is extremely tight at the moment, I feel therefore that motivation is the key. The mountain we have to climb must be conquered with the players currently on our payroll. It’s fair to say that we haven’t had the greatest luck with managers in recent times, but I’m confident that I can turn things around. I will admit that on paper I am perhaps not the most highly qualified applicant for this high profile position, but I am a local lad like Alan Smith and have plenty of fire in my belly and a burning desire to get us out of trouble. We all know that serious financial savings need to be made for the long term security of the club and I am therefore willing to offer my services for a knockdown price. I’m willing to take on the job as manager of Leeds United for a mere *coughs* £500 000 per annum *coughs* - in order to save so much of the needed funds. In The Words of Yazz and The Plastic Population, I feel that the only way is up...and also I believe that children are our future. I have a dream that young men in white kits can perform to the best of their ability, and that with a bit of luck...and a following wind, we can achieve Premiership safety and build towards a brighter future. So I ask you Professor John McKenzie...currently on safari, the LUFC board and the supporters of Leeds United Football club...Vote Moyles and give a fat lad from Leeds the chance to manage his home town club...because after all, things couldn’t be any worse could they?’
(Dave and Aled clap and whistle)
There was a lot of football on the show today as you can gather just from the above statement. Let’s begin with the news that Peter Reid was officially sacked by Leeds United today after their 6-1 thrashing by Portsmouth on Saturday. Chris opened by playing the I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here theme tune and said ‘I’m a Leeds United fan, Get Me Out Of Here’. Having done this Chris played all of the goals from Saturday’s game (they went on forever) over a comedy Benny Hill bed. A text came in saying well done to Chris for playing the goals. It said he had big balls which Dave said must have been quite a compliment. If Comedy Dave’s beloved Everton lose tonight at Blackburn, Chris has vowed to open tomorrow’s show with the goals. Dave wasn’t confident about tonight’s game. Chris was hoping for a no score draw. Dave said Everton were quite good at those. Everton in fact lost 2-1 and join Leeds in the bottom 3. Dave from Derby sent a text saying there are some good grounds in Division One that they will be visiting next year. Chris asked Dave if this season is Everton's 125th anniversary. Dave said ‘of course’ and said the club were founded in 1878, exactly 100 years before his wife was. Chris found it funny that Dave remembers how old his wife is because her date of birth happens to be 100 years younger than Everton Football Club. Chris looked at the weekends FA Cup scores and the results of the non-league sides that he, Aled, Dave and Ray Stubbs put their support behind on Friday. It didn’t go too well to say the least. Aled’s Salisbury lost 4-0, Dave’s Borehamwood also lost 4-0 and Chris’s Shildon got spanked 7-2. Stubbys Accrington were the only ones to win.
The text system wasn’t working at the start of today’s show. Chris seemed pretty convinced that they were getting 1Xtra’s text messages through as the first text of the show started ‘Yo Yo KC. Where u bin. Do me a favour and play Love Is Here To Stay by Terra Danja, Bo’. Chris played a track from Kylie’s new album Body Language and said he couldn’t believe that Slow was number one. Dave tried to make the point that the video for Slow is ‘well choreographed’ but it took him a couple of minutes as he stumbled through what he was trying to say. Dave seemed a bit off the boil today. Chris moaned about all the leaves piling up in his garden. He asked where the bloody hell they came from and said the only good thing about leaves was running through and ruining the big piles of them that neighbours make in the street. Jerry Springer was in the studio after 4. Although he clearly wasn’t feeling 100%, he was a good guest nonetheless. The last time Jerry was on the show (on the now legendary Saturday Show) Chris, Jerry, Dave and Chris’s mum went for lunch in the pub round the corner afterwards. Chris also recalled the time he made Anthea Turner cry when he went on Jerry Springer’s Channel 5 chat show a couple of years back. Chris remembers Jerry telling him that he had a ‘big set of balls on him’. Chris's balls were a bit of a recurring theme today for some reason.
Chris: ‘I’ve got some notes on your show Jerry. (reads) The Jerry
Springer show is now in it’s 12th series’.
Jerry: ‘13th season’.
PAUSE
Chris: ‘There not very good notes....’
Jerry: ‘There a year old’
Chris: ‘...but I have them’.
Jerry is in London to attend the West End premiere of Jerry Springer The Opera. Chris kept on referring to it as a Musical. He said there was no difference. Jerry said Opera has fat ladies in. The actual show has nothing to do with Springer but he said he liked it, although he didn't sound too convincing. A text came in saying that the interview was clearly pre-recorded. It was live and Chris said he needed to find a way of proving it was live. He said telling the time wouldn’t work as they could have played the interview out to fit it exactly. Dave suggested talking about some news stories from today that would prove it was live. Chris said ‘The Beatles have split up’. Chris tried to get Jerry’s support in his bid to become manager of LUFC. This took the conversation down the route of differences between American and British sports. It was one of the best links in months. Jerry took the piss out of the fact that we Brits say changing rooms/dressing rooms rather than ‘locker rooms’. He asked if the players sat in front of their ‘changing cabinets’. Dave didn’t really back up Chris when he tried to defend our changing rooms, so Chris went into a full blooded attack on American football, Basketball and Ice Hockey that was really funny (clip for the Sound Vault probably). A text came in saying that we call locker rooms changing rooms because we trust our teammates, which even Jerry admitted was quite a good line.
Steve the bodyguard is still on the show. He is married and Jerry said that he was growing his eyebrows so he can comb them back (hes bald you see). Jerry asked for 50 quid. Jerry said that now hes back on radio to make it a fiver (a dig at Moyles failed Channel 5 show). Jerry will be walking on a red carpet in a hired tuxedo. Jerry wasnt as good as he usually is. Chris afterwards thought he sounded a bit tired. Dave agreed that he sounded a bit jaded.
Chris made up a slogan called Worst to First for his failed bid for Leeds Utd managers job. Chris said that the inevitable people will be texting in to say Worst to First... Division. Chris said that Christina Aguileras voice is not a million miles away from the voice of Michael Jackson on Bo Selecta. Dave said that there was 6000 people supporting Chris for the vacant managers job. Id say the way he was counting it was more like 6th. Chris said if he took over he would allow ordinary people to play for him for different values.
£10000 - bring you on with 10 minutes to go
1 milion - play you from the start
£500,000 - play you from the start at reserve games
Mark Chapman wanted to support him. Chris was later featured on Newsbeat talking about the Leeds crisis. Dave started talking like he was a teenager whose voice was dropping. Paddy Power have priced Chris at 250/1 for next Leeds manager. Leeds to win the league is 10,000/1. So you have better odds for them winning the league than Chris becoming next manager.
Chris mucked up Rachel Stevens track. He wanted Dave to talk over the track but he wanted to loop it live but it didnt work. This lasted longer as he pressed the button for the news and got Rachel Stevens song again.
Daves Tedious Link
The Grid with Swamp Thing - The grid is where the cars assemble before the Formula 1 race starts - Formula 1 drivers wear overalls as do painters - Painters are major purchasers of paint - Paint can be gloss or matt - Matt is an abbreviation of Matthew - Matthew is a name which features in the Bible - Bibles are normally found in hotel rooms as are very small kettles - Kettles are used to boil water - Water has the chemical symbol o2 which in turn sponsor Arsenal - An arsenal is like a store for weapons - Weapons can be extremely dangerous as can certain types of snake - Snake rhymes with cake which is sometimes served with afternoon tea - T is the first letter of many of the days of the week including Thursday and Tuesday - And Tuesday is the day that falls exactly midway between Monday and Wednesday and therefore if it is a Monday which it is today then Tuesday is tomorrow - Which links us to James and Tomorrow
BIG FLAWS
* Waters chemical symbol is H2O and O2
* Only 2 days have T in their name
