The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
User avatar
By Chris
#241764
1. Christina Aguilera feat Lil' Kim - Can't Hold Us Down, 2. Layo and Bushwacka - Love Story (vs Finally), 3. Longview - Can’t Explain, 4. Jurgen Vries - Wilderness, 5. Rishi Rich Project feat Jay Sean & Juggy D - Dance With You (Nachna Tere Naal) 3:30 NEWS 6. Elton John - Are You Ready For Love, 7. Sean Paul - Like Glue, 8. Pink - Trouble, 9. Plummet - Damaged, 10. Feeder - Find The Colour, 11. The Black Eyed Peas feat Justin Timberlake - Where Is The Love?, 12. Puretone - Addicted To Bass, 13. Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes (Aled’s Sweet 16’s - from it’s re-release in Feb 94), 14. Lemar - Dance (With U) 4:30 NEWS AND SPORT 15. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 16. Madonna - Music, 17. B2K - Uh Huh, 18. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Can’t Stop, 19. Amy Studt - Under the Thumb 5:00 NEWS & SPORT 20. Crazy Town - Butterfly, 21. Rachel Stevens - Sweet Dreams My LA-Ex, 22. Outkast - Ghetto Musick, 23. Nelly, P Diddy & Murphy Lee - Shake Ya Tailfeather, 24. The Charlatans - How High (Tedious Link), 25. Tomcraft - Loneliness, 26. Beyoncé Knowles feat Sean Paul - Baby Boy

Chris was running late today and as a result was eating his lunch during the first link. He also said he got out of bed this morning (more likely afternoon) with really bad back pains. Aled offered Chris a back massage, but Chris told him he would punch his lights out if he tried to give him one. Aled said he wasn’t going to do it, but a girl
he knew called Sandra who worked in a massage parlour round the way from Radio 1. Chris said there was no way he was going round to one of ‘Aled’s dodgy places’. Dave told the story of how at V98 in Leeds, he saw some people massaging paying customers, without actually touching them - they were ‘doing it spiritually’ using hand movements etc. Aled said Chris had to do something about his back, as Chris admitted he has had back pains for quite a long time. It didn’t bother him though. He said that he had put up with stuff like that all his life : ‘Let’s face it, without the aid of a mirror, I haven’t seen my penis for 8 years’.
Chris moaned about the fact that Will and Aled didn’t sort out tickets for him to go and see a gig in the States during his holiday. He didn’t say who it was he wanted to see. Will texted Aled to talk about an unnamed Radio 1 staff member, although Aled’s attempt to hide his identity was spoilt by his mouthing of the word ‘Richard’ to Chris,
which could be heard clearly on air - much to Dave’s amusement. Chris also told the story again of how Dave replied with ‘only Smarties have the answer’ after Chris had been ‘shedding his heart out to him’ about his personal problems for half an hour. This was because Dave seemed to be coming across to Chris as a terrible listener when Aled was talking about some of his problems during a record today. Chris missed all of the football last night, despite the fact Sky Digital are now offering you the choice of watching any of 8 live Champions League games. Dave
can’t pick it up because he only has cable. Chris went on the Sky One David Blaine cam last night - and saw him reading a book, and then an hour later, asleep. Riveting viewing I’m sure.
After the 3:30 news Chris asked George if she could speak Welsh. She could say ‘Can I have a cup of tea?’ in Welsh which is pronounced ‘Panadeeog’. Chris said it sounded like one of Lard’s catchphrases and did a good impression of him saying it off-mic. Chris and Dave were discussing the lyrics of Like Glue by Sean Paul when Aled said that Sean Paul boasts about ‘shagging a lot in it’, which caught Chris and Dave slightly off-guard. Chris played another John Peel Equipment disaster from last night. Peel played the ‘DJ MCLMNOP’ Moped jingle in his show, and said Chris had left it in the system on purpose - and moaned about the fact that Chris would ‘take the piss’ out of him on today’s show. Peel said it was ‘Fist City’ time for Moyles, which was very funny (one for the Sound Vault I think). Aled’s Sweet 16’s was back for a third day and he impressed Chris again by playing Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Two Tribes (It reached No.16 on re-release in 94). There followed a quick round of Dave’s introductory service using a Hits 1984 CD. Aled didn’t get any right and Chris said that the Fudge Tunnel would be back tomorrow.
Chris, Dave and Aled played Dead or Alive again - running through a long list of TV/Movie casts, including Cheers, Batman, The Dukes of Hazard, The Munsters and James Bond. The show was not great on quality today, as summed up by Dave’s new quiz - ‘Dog or person’. This followed on from Chris’s view yesterday that Rollie the dog from Eastenders was played by a person, not a dog. The ingenious idea of Dave's game was for Chris and Aled to guess whether the name read out by Dave was that of a dog - or, yes you’ve got it - a person. Chris suggested Lisa Riley
as an example for that of a dog.
Chris beat Aled on Dog or Person 9 points to 1. Chris went to the Universal Studios in LA when he was on holiday. Aled said that his claim to fame was that he had a job for a week walking the Blue Peter dog. Chris won a luxury lunch to the value of £3.10 between the time of 12 and 12:15pm. Chris pointed out the fact that most of the specials cost £3.25.
Chris didnt know whether to slag off Rachel Stevens because his mate Jeremy whatshisface was dumped by her. Aled and Dave questioned this fact as they had saw them in a tabloid holding hands the other day. Chris decided to text him to find out the truth. He replied and said yes and would they stop talking inane drivel on the radio. Chris plugged the Friends DVD just purely to get them for free. Aled knew the PR company that could send them it free. Chris still hasnt got over the fact that he saw Will in shorts and no top in Ibiza. He said it was disgusting. Aled said that he Will found oil whilst he lay on a lilo. Dave Pearce has also nicked a Simon Mayo feature, namely National Anthems. Aled was talking about Will and Daves female partners were well fit in their bikinis. Chris played the Outkast single and his reaction was What, thats bizarre. He wasnt wrong. Chris was disappointed with the new Beyonce single. Chris, you should listen to the album, its even worse.

Daves Tedious Link
Run DMC Its Tricky - Run DMC come from New York and grew up in a district called Queens - Queens is just the female equivalant of a king - Kings of Leon also come from America and are famous for having lots of facial hair, something they share in common with Dave Lee Travis - Dave Lee Travis was known as the hairy cornflakes - A cornflake is a type of cereal as is Holby City to some extent (cereal-serial phonetic okay) - Holby City is based in a hospital - Hospital is where you go when your sick - Sick birds however like parrots have to go to the Vet - Vets played a vital role in the Vietnam war - The Vietnam War was the setting for the film Full Metal Jacket - Jacket Potatoes are always a good lunch option for stars who like to maintain a healthy diet like Geri Halliwell, Cliff Richard and Tim Burgess from the Charlatans - Which links us to Charlatans and How High.