chrismoyles.net
- Wed Jun 09, 2004 12:21 pm
#241940
1. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Shakedown - At Night, 3. Cassidy feat R. Kelly - Hotel, 4. Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out, 5. BUZZ OFF - David Bowie - Let’s Dance, 6. Britney Spears - Toxic 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love, 8. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 9. The 5,6,7,8’s - Woo Hoo, 10. The Thrills - Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far) 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Strokes - 12:51, 12. The 411 feat Ghostface Killah - On My Knees, 13. Maroon 5 - This Love, 14. Riva feat Dannii Minogue - Who Do You Love Now 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Lostprophets - Last Train Home, 16. Kelis - Trick Me, 17. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 18. The Chemical Brothers feat Noel Gallagher - Setting Sun (Tedious Link), 19. Outkast - Roses, 20. Damien Rice - Cannonball, 21. Natasha Bedingfield - Single, 22. Scissor Sisters - Laura 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Feeder - Forget About Tomorrow, 24. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know, 25. Angel City featuring Lara McAllen - Touch Me
This was the last studio show for a good few weeks as tomorrow the team will be live from an airport near Heathrow, and then from Friday onwards they’ll be coming live from their big villa in Portugal for Euro 2004...jammy gits. This team won’t include Dom and Jules though, both of whom will be “keeping it real” back home in London (for technical reasons). Dom said he never wanted to go out to Portugal anyway. Chris told him that he had a spare ticket for the France match if he was interested. Dom said he’d chew his arm off for it. Chris said a cheque would do.
Dom - Are you packed?
Chris - Pardon
(Dave and Rach laugh) Dave - Your case he’s talking about
Chris - Oh right
Dave said he had, so was wearing some slightly damp shorts this morning. By that I don’t mean they weren’t mucky or owt, they’d just simply come out of the wash. Chris bought himself some sandals yesterday, which Dave called glorified flip flops. Chris said they weren’t and revealed that in a moment of madness he’d spent a fortune on them. Dave sounded slightly alarmed when Chris revealed that they cost him a lot more than double what his did (and they were £35). Jules and Dom both let out a collective gasp and Dom told Chris that he was paid far too much money if he was doing that. Chris admitted that he never should’ve got caught up in such “crazy sandal extravagance”. He said he had to admit to everyone - he’s a flip flopaholic.
Dom - Will you wear them on Friday so then me and Jules can join in the flip flop fun?
(Dave and Chris laugh)
Dave - It’s quite hard isn’t it?
Chris - Is it, I’m sorry to hear that
(Dave laughs)
The whole shorts and clothes for Portugal discussion led to Dave referring to where he hangs his clothes as a “maiden”, surely a term not used since the 19th Century. Dom was sure Dave had just made that name up but hundreds of texts came in backing Mr Vitty. Dave said granted it’s more of an old fashioned expression, but then again he’s a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to hanging up washing...whatever. Rachel went on Ask Jeeves to look for stuff on maidens, but only proceeded in bringing up a load of sites on Iron Maiden. Annoyed that he had been ridiculed by his colleagues earlier, Comedic Dave went to print out all the texts backing up his argument on maidens during the Buzz Off track - just so that he could show them to Dom and Chris. Chris said he didn’t need to cos he believed him anyway, but Dave was having none of it. The Buzz Off track in question was the legendary David Bowie classic Let’s Dance, a number one back in March 1983. 67% went for Buzz On and it was played in full, with only Dominic buzzing in before the end on 2 mins 10 seconds (he said he didn’t like that particular whispering part of the song).
Chris’s 7:00 news intro - Coming up Shakedown At Night and Cassidy and R. Kelly with Hotel. Seriously, are we still playing this bilge? Can we not just like lose it or something? Eh? When we get to Portugal that’s the excuse...we left the R Kelly record
Dave - Yeah dropped it in the pool or something
Chris - Yeah, customs took it off us at the airport
Dave - and with good reason too
Chris said his girlfriend Sophie met R. Kelly in his Chicago studio where he lays down his “hot flavas”...I think there's a gag in there somewhere. Chris said that he had a whole range of R. Kelly jokes and stories to tell at this point but unfortunately couldn’t go any further due to the fear of being either sued or taken off the air completely...ahh pity. New music on the show today came in the form of Damien Rice with Cannonball and The 5,6,7,8’s with Woo Hoo. Dave wasn’t completely sure about the Damien Rice tune and said that he needed to hear it a few more times before he could decide whether he liked it or not. I’m sure that Radio 1 will be able to offer Dave the chance to hear it again...on an hourly basis probably. The 5,6,7,8’s tune is undisputed quality though - Kill Bill fans will recognise it from the Volume 1 Soundtrack and everyone else from that Carling advert at the moment with the blokes playing football down the street. I have a bone to pick with Radio 1 about another track played today though - This Love by Maroon 5. This has happened on a few occasions now (most memorably with that Blu Cantrell and Sean Paul bilge last year). That tune was never playlisted until after it spent 4 weeks at number one, and it seems the same has happened now to Maroon 5. Despite being a great song, it’s been played on commercial radio for months and months and got a top 3 chart placing a whole four or five weeks ago...yet it’s only now Radio 1 start playing it. I just find it a bit odd.
STICKER BOOK AND SWEEPSTAKE UPDATE:>>>>
Today (thank god) should be the last day of sticker book stuff on The Chris Moyles Show. Chris had both Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes stickers to finish off his England squad today, and said that he only has a few stickers left to complete the whole book. Dave asked if the Portuguese reserve goalie Quim was one of them (cue the giggles in the studio). Moyles said he actually was and Jules shouted out frantically that she had five swapsies of him. She rushed out to get one and eventually swapped it with Chris for Freddie Ljungberg. Moyles said he would have been absolutely delighted when he woke up this morning if he had known then that he would have taken Juliette’s quim within a few hours of the day - back of that net indeed. Yesterday was the big Euro 2004 sweepstake in the pub, but cos Chris turned up late he ended up getting Greece, which had really peed him off. He said it was such a con. The other latecomer got Latvia, Dave got Spain, Chappers got Russia and Scott bloody Mills got France (he didn’t know whether that was good or bad). Everyone put a tenner into the pot with the winner getting a hundred quid of the total £160 prize fund, the runner up gets forty quid and then the first sending off and own goal earn wildcard tenners each. Dom said they just did a sweepstake in Newsbeat yesterday with the winner taking all eighty quid (all 16 of them put a fiver in the pot each). He got Croatia, who he is now tipping for Euro 2004 glory. In the chrismoyles.net mesageboard sweepstake today I got Sweden so here’s to hoping a Swedish manager wins the tournament (y’see what I’ve done there)...
Chris - Do you know what I think? I won’t repeat this but after watching their form over the last 15 years, my tip is...Cameroon (makes click click noise)
Dave - They never do well in the Euros Cameroon though do they?
Rachel (off mic and sounding confused) - They’re not in it
Dave - Oh Jesus Christ
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Dave (impersonates Rach) - “They’re not in it”
Chris - Rachel, get out and go work on Jo Whiley’s show for the rest of the week!!!
RADIO 1’S HOT MOMMAS:
Yep today was Day 2 in Chris and Dave’s search for the UK’s finest piece of 38-49 year old classic crumpet. They want listener pics sent to [url=mailto:chris.moyles@bbc.co.uk]mailto:chris.moyles@bbc.co.uk[/url], although I seriously doubt anybody reading this will fall within that age range. Dave and Chris will vet them first remember, a level of quality control is needed to find the finest pieces of vintage bintage in the UK. Dave called the feature “a sexier meals on wheels for an older generation” (that makes me feel sick). With no listener entries in yet (despite a page being put up @ R1 ONLINE), the chat today was all about possible celebrity members of the vintage bintage club. Chris said he’d definitely have a go with Liz Hurley, despite her being so posh. He said that he thinks she’s got a great body and looks mucky (as they say in t’Leeds) and his opinion she’s just crying out for a bit of northern rough and ready..
Chris - I’ve got something none of her ex’s have got...an extra 4 stone
Dave - Yeah
Here we go with the rest of the other text suggestions for the Hot Mommas club:
SHARRON DAVIES - Chris thinks yes, Dave thinks overrated
MICHAELA STRACHAN - Yes for Chris, too skinny for Dave
*PATSY KENSIT - Both said yes in Lethal Weapon 2 but not now (I still say now)
AMANDA DONOHUE - Both said yes in Castaway but not now
*NATASHA KAPLINSKY - Both said definitely yes. Chris said he’s fancied her ever since she did the ITV local news in London. Actually, you can read an interesting story about her breaking up a marriage here
SUSANNAH HOFFS (THE BANGLES) - Yep for Dave
PHILIPPA FORRESTER - Yep for Dave (urghh sick)
YASMIN LE BON - Both said beautiful
KIRSTY YOUNG, JO WHILEY, CAROL SMILIE AND CAROL VORDERMAN - Yep
MICHELLE PFEIFFER, MADONNA AND LESLIE ASH - Yep (Ash before she tried to make herself look nice though)
ANNABEL CROFT - Provisionally yes
SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND SUSAN KENNEDY FROM NEIGHBOURS - Nope
JAMIE LEE CURTIS - Yep for Chris, looks too much like a bloke for Dave
JUDI DENCH, CILLA BLACK, ZOE WANAMAKER AND CAMILLA PARKER-BOWLES - Whoever texted those in are just sickos
(Key - *Both are under 38 so can't qualify)
WHEN JULES MET TIM:
Juliette headed down to the Stella Artois Championships at Queens yesterday to do an interview with Tim Henman. Chris played out the highlights of this highly eventful interview after the 7:30 news this morning (inevitably over the Wimbledon theme tune). Jules explained how she enjoyed her time there under the blue skies with the free bar and her pims, while Chris, Dom and Dave childishly did their umpire, foot fault and “Out!!” impressions. Chris asked what type of pims Jules had had. She said she didn’t know there was more than one type. Along with buying £100+ sandals, Dominic said this was point 2 of today’s show to question Chris’s sexuality. Jules said Tim was in a good mood and played along with her stupid, silly questions until near the end - and the he petered out a bit. Here’s what we did learn though:
- Tim hates films like Back To The Future
- Tim likes a really soft, strong blue cheese like Stilton with a glass of red wine
- Despite being a happily married man, Jules asked Tim about his favourite “hot mommas”. Chris couldn’t believe she did it and it’s fair to say Tim didn’t fully grasp the concept of the item as he went for the 20 something Brazilian model Jisel. Jules wasn’t gonna point out that he was roughly 15 years under the boundary though let’s face it. Chris was slightly disappointed as he was hoping Tim would choose Sue Barker as his hot momma. Dave said she is an attractive older lady after all, but Chris disagreed...
Chris - I’d rather do it with with Ally McCoist
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dave - Point three of today’s show to question your sexuality
Chris - I tell ya what, I’d rather do it with Bill Beaumont!!
(Dave in fits of laughter as Chris plays Beyonce)
This was hilarious if you can catch it on Listen Again - at roughly 7:35 on Wednesday morning (note: you’ll only be able to hear it here if you’re listening before 10:20 am on Wednesday 16th June 2004). Half time (9:05 am) was good too today - it included Chris and Dave playing about with reverse echo and making announcements for a sports day, just like the sound you hear when you're near a school sports day and the teachers microphone is blown all over the place. Rachel called them such boys...
Rachel - You two get paid for doing this!!
Dave - I know. Shocking isn’t it
WHERE’S ALED: FINAL DAY (DAY 17)>>>>
(Today’s winner Kate from Swindon and Aled)
PASSWORD - “John Terry’s hamstring”
LOCATION - Next to the Oasis Leisure Centre in Swindon
CLUES - In an English town 90 miles from Northampton. This town’s football team is in Division 2 and in 1840 a large railway company selected this place for it’s home. Aled was standing on a walkway to a building’s entrance, with a car park in front of him, a dome to his right and a recycling centre nearby. Oh and Billie Piper comes from here too.
WINNER THROUGH TO THE AIRPORT FINAL - Kate (25) from Swindon won eventually, she was third to get to Aled but first with the exact password after both Mike and Ian had been unsuccessful. She screamed when she found out she’d won and apologised. Chris said there was no need - remember screaming sounds great on the trails. Kate had been in the first of around 30 cars to pull up after the Billie Piper clue, so Aled had a big queue of people forming to have a go at the password. They all trooped off disappointed as she got it right. Today is the last day of Where’s Aled and also the first venue to fox Comedy Dave from the mileage clues, that was until the Billie Piper clue was given. Aled told Chris that Juliette, Jocelyn and Rachel had all mentioned it earlier in the morning when he was on the studio phone but Chris and Dave mustn’t have heard. Big Paul has also left Aled with just a day off his trip left. He’s gone to check out the villa in Portugal with old afternoon show producer Rhys, who’s in charge of the whole Portugal trip. Aled had therefore been joined by Steve, but Chris and Dave didn’t have a clue who he was.
TWO TEXT WINNERS - After Aled’s exploits in Swindon this morning, just two places for the big airport final tomorrow were left up for grabs. They went to randomly selected texters who correctly guessed Aled’s location this week, before anyone found him in person. They were Tracy in Congleton (who screamed the house down) and a very shocked sounding Karl from Warwick. He obviously wasn’t listening to the show when Chris rang him, so it came as a double surprise. Rachel called it a lovely moment when Karl realised. Chris said he had thoroughly enjoyed it too - so much so that he needed a cigarette afterwards (cue deep breathing into the mic). All competition winners and their freeloading friends are meeting up with Chris and the crew for a drink tonight in London, that’s all ahead of the big airport final which remember you can hear live on the show tomorrow morning from 6:55.
ANOTHER FUNNY CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
SARAH who’s in the army and was at a schools roadshow in Inverness 2
MATT a kitchen fitter from the Wirral lost somewhere in London 0
**Sarah was in her army verheercle (as Dave would pronounce it) and Mr Vitty was wondering how she got in there...
Dave - Sarah, do you get into it by going through a flap in the top?
Sarah - You can do yeah or you can go through the back
(childish background laughter)
Chris (laughing) - What are we talking about now?
Dave - The army verheercle
Chris - Right OK fine**
**Chris gives out the first clue.. .
Chris - It looks like Mr Fish has just woken up...and what’s that on his pillow? Oh dear, it looks a bit wet but I’m not sure what that is
(Matt laughs)
Chris - Shut up Matt you perv
(Sarah’s horn beeps)
Chris - Yes Sarah?
Sarah - Wet dreams?
(Chris, Dave and Dom laugh) Chris (still laughing) - Oh Jesus!! Well believe it or not Sarah (plays clip)
Roy Walker - Oooh it’s good but it’s not right**
**Chris said you don’t need brains to get in the army these days after Sarah’s 2-0 victory. She asked for the new Keane album and said she’d love her camp in Bulford to become a Chris Moyles Approved Workplace:
Chris - OK, how old are you Sarah?
Sarah - I’m 21
Chris - Do you give it up easily..(interrupts himself)..are you good looking?
(Cue Dave pig squeal laugh)**
Daves Tedious Link
Take That feat Lulu Relight My Fire - “Relight my fire” is what an annoyed barbecuer might say if some idiot had just spilt water all over his briquettes - Briquettes rhymes with crickets, which make a noise by rubbing their little insect legs together - If human legs rub together it tends to result in chafing - Chafing can be alleviated with the help of talcom powder - Talcom powder is white and therefore not a great thing to have in your hand luggage - “Luggage” is one of the few words in the English language that contain’s three G’s - Three G’s is what you might be pulling if you were an astronaut experiencing re entry - Re entry is prohibited in many nightclubs unless you have a stamp on your hand - Hand rhymes with rand, which is the currency of South Africa - South Africa are to host the World Cup after Germany - Germany is the birthplace of Boris Becker - Boris Becker recently got caught with his trousers down in the broom cupboard of the appropriately named “Nobu” restaurant - Nobu is a big favourite with celebs such as Ant and Dec, Kirsty Gallacher, The Chemical Brothers and Noel Gallagher - Which links us predictably to a record which features The Chemical Brothers and Noel Gallagher, it is the Chemical Brothers and Setting Sun
TOMORROW ON THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW
It's the big Euro 2004 airport final. Make sure you're listening to 97-99FM from 6:55 am or check back here in a couple of days time for the full show review.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7946">> Wednesday June 9th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
This was the last studio show for a good few weeks as tomorrow the team will be live from an airport near Heathrow, and then from Friday onwards they’ll be coming live from their big villa in Portugal for Euro 2004...jammy gits. This team won’t include Dom and Jules though, both of whom will be “keeping it real” back home in London (for technical reasons). Dom said he never wanted to go out to Portugal anyway. Chris told him that he had a spare ticket for the France match if he was interested. Dom said he’d chew his arm off for it. Chris said a cheque would do.
Dom - Are you packed?
Chris - Pardon
(Dave and Rach laugh) Dave - Your case he’s talking about
Chris - Oh right
Dave said he had, so was wearing some slightly damp shorts this morning. By that I don’t mean they weren’t mucky or owt, they’d just simply come out of the wash. Chris bought himself some sandals yesterday, which Dave called glorified flip flops. Chris said they weren’t and revealed that in a moment of madness he’d spent a fortune on them. Dave sounded slightly alarmed when Chris revealed that they cost him a lot more than double what his did (and they were £35). Jules and Dom both let out a collective gasp and Dom told Chris that he was paid far too much money if he was doing that. Chris admitted that he never should’ve got caught up in such “crazy sandal extravagance”. He said he had to admit to everyone - he’s a flip flopaholic.
Dom - Will you wear them on Friday so then me and Jules can join in the flip flop fun?
(Dave and Chris laugh)
Dave - It’s quite hard isn’t it?
Chris - Is it, I’m sorry to hear that
(Dave laughs)
The whole shorts and clothes for Portugal discussion led to Dave referring to where he hangs his clothes as a “maiden”, surely a term not used since the 19th Century. Dom was sure Dave had just made that name up but hundreds of texts came in backing Mr Vitty. Dave said granted it’s more of an old fashioned expression, but then again he’s a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to hanging up washing...whatever. Rachel went on Ask Jeeves to look for stuff on maidens, but only proceeded in bringing up a load of sites on Iron Maiden. Annoyed that he had been ridiculed by his colleagues earlier, Comedic Dave went to print out all the texts backing up his argument on maidens during the Buzz Off track - just so that he could show them to Dom and Chris. Chris said he didn’t need to cos he believed him anyway, but Dave was having none of it. The Buzz Off track in question was the legendary David Bowie classic Let’s Dance, a number one back in March 1983. 67% went for Buzz On and it was played in full, with only Dominic buzzing in before the end on 2 mins 10 seconds (he said he didn’t like that particular whispering part of the song).
Chris’s 7:00 news intro - Coming up Shakedown At Night and Cassidy and R. Kelly with Hotel. Seriously, are we still playing this bilge? Can we not just like lose it or something? Eh? When we get to Portugal that’s the excuse...we left the R Kelly record
Dave - Yeah dropped it in the pool or something
Chris - Yeah, customs took it off us at the airport
Dave - and with good reason too
Chris said his girlfriend Sophie met R. Kelly in his Chicago studio where he lays down his “hot flavas”...I think there's a gag in there somewhere. Chris said that he had a whole range of R. Kelly jokes and stories to tell at this point but unfortunately couldn’t go any further due to the fear of being either sued or taken off the air completely...ahh pity. New music on the show today came in the form of Damien Rice with Cannonball and The 5,6,7,8’s with Woo Hoo. Dave wasn’t completely sure about the Damien Rice tune and said that he needed to hear it a few more times before he could decide whether he liked it or not. I’m sure that Radio 1 will be able to offer Dave the chance to hear it again...on an hourly basis probably. The 5,6,7,8’s tune is undisputed quality though - Kill Bill fans will recognise it from the Volume 1 Soundtrack and everyone else from that Carling advert at the moment with the blokes playing football down the street. I have a bone to pick with Radio 1 about another track played today though - This Love by Maroon 5. This has happened on a few occasions now (most memorably with that Blu Cantrell and Sean Paul bilge last year). That tune was never playlisted until after it spent 4 weeks at number one, and it seems the same has happened now to Maroon 5. Despite being a great song, it’s been played on commercial radio for months and months and got a top 3 chart placing a whole four or five weeks ago...yet it’s only now Radio 1 start playing it. I just find it a bit odd.
STICKER BOOK AND SWEEPSTAKE UPDATE:>>>>
Today (thank god) should be the last day of sticker book stuff on The Chris Moyles Show. Chris had both Wayne Rooney and Paul Scholes stickers to finish off his England squad today, and said that he only has a few stickers left to complete the whole book. Dave asked if the Portuguese reserve goalie Quim was one of them (cue the giggles in the studio). Moyles said he actually was and Jules shouted out frantically that she had five swapsies of him. She rushed out to get one and eventually swapped it with Chris for Freddie Ljungberg. Moyles said he would have been absolutely delighted when he woke up this morning if he had known then that he would have taken Juliette’s quim within a few hours of the day - back of that net indeed. Yesterday was the big Euro 2004 sweepstake in the pub, but cos Chris turned up late he ended up getting Greece, which had really peed him off. He said it was such a con. The other latecomer got Latvia, Dave got Spain, Chappers got Russia and Scott bloody Mills got France (he didn’t know whether that was good or bad). Everyone put a tenner into the pot with the winner getting a hundred quid of the total £160 prize fund, the runner up gets forty quid and then the first sending off and own goal earn wildcard tenners each. Dom said they just did a sweepstake in Newsbeat yesterday with the winner taking all eighty quid (all 16 of them put a fiver in the pot each). He got Croatia, who he is now tipping for Euro 2004 glory. In the chrismoyles.net mesageboard sweepstake today I got Sweden so here’s to hoping a Swedish manager wins the tournament (y’see what I’ve done there)...
Chris - Do you know what I think? I won’t repeat this but after watching their form over the last 15 years, my tip is...Cameroon (makes click click noise)
Dave - They never do well in the Euros Cameroon though do they?
Rachel (off mic and sounding confused) - They’re not in it
Dave - Oh Jesus Christ
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Dave (impersonates Rach) - “They’re not in it”
Chris - Rachel, get out and go work on Jo Whiley’s show for the rest of the week!!!
RADIO 1’S HOT MOMMAS:
Yep today was Day 2 in Chris and Dave’s search for the UK’s finest piece of 38-49 year old classic crumpet. They want listener pics sent to [url=mailto:chris.moyles@bbc.co.uk]mailto:chris.moyles@bbc.co.uk[/url], although I seriously doubt anybody reading this will fall within that age range. Dave and Chris will vet them first remember, a level of quality control is needed to find the finest pieces of vintage bintage in the UK. Dave called the feature “a sexier meals on wheels for an older generation” (that makes me feel sick). With no listener entries in yet (despite a page being put up @ R1 ONLINE), the chat today was all about possible celebrity members of the vintage bintage club. Chris said he’d definitely have a go with Liz Hurley, despite her being so posh. He said that he thinks she’s got a great body and looks mucky (as they say in t’Leeds) and his opinion she’s just crying out for a bit of northern rough and ready..
Chris - I’ve got something none of her ex’s have got...an extra 4 stone
Dave - Yeah
Here we go with the rest of the other text suggestions for the Hot Mommas club:
SHARRON DAVIES - Chris thinks yes, Dave thinks overrated
MICHAELA STRACHAN - Yes for Chris, too skinny for Dave
*PATSY KENSIT - Both said yes in Lethal Weapon 2 but not now (I still say now)
AMANDA DONOHUE - Both said yes in Castaway but not now
*NATASHA KAPLINSKY - Both said definitely yes. Chris said he’s fancied her ever since she did the ITV local news in London. Actually, you can read an interesting story about her breaking up a marriage here
SUSANNAH HOFFS (THE BANGLES) - Yep for Dave
PHILIPPA FORRESTER - Yep for Dave (urghh sick)
YASMIN LE BON - Both said beautiful
KIRSTY YOUNG, JO WHILEY, CAROL SMILIE AND CAROL VORDERMAN - Yep
MICHELLE PFEIFFER, MADONNA AND LESLIE ASH - Yep (Ash before she tried to make herself look nice though)
ANNABEL CROFT - Provisionally yes
SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND SUSAN KENNEDY FROM NEIGHBOURS - Nope
JAMIE LEE CURTIS - Yep for Chris, looks too much like a bloke for Dave
JUDI DENCH, CILLA BLACK, ZOE WANAMAKER AND CAMILLA PARKER-BOWLES - Whoever texted those in are just sickos
(Key - *Both are under 38 so can't qualify)
WHEN JULES MET TIM:
Juliette headed down to the Stella Artois Championships at Queens yesterday to do an interview with Tim Henman. Chris played out the highlights of this highly eventful interview after the 7:30 news this morning (inevitably over the Wimbledon theme tune). Jules explained how she enjoyed her time there under the blue skies with the free bar and her pims, while Chris, Dom and Dave childishly did their umpire, foot fault and “Out!!” impressions. Chris asked what type of pims Jules had had. She said she didn’t know there was more than one type. Along with buying £100+ sandals, Dominic said this was point 2 of today’s show to question Chris’s sexuality. Jules said Tim was in a good mood and played along with her stupid, silly questions until near the end - and the he petered out a bit. Here’s what we did learn though:
- Tim hates films like Back To The Future
- Tim likes a really soft, strong blue cheese like Stilton with a glass of red wine
- Despite being a happily married man, Jules asked Tim about his favourite “hot mommas”. Chris couldn’t believe she did it and it’s fair to say Tim didn’t fully grasp the concept of the item as he went for the 20 something Brazilian model Jisel. Jules wasn’t gonna point out that he was roughly 15 years under the boundary though let’s face it. Chris was slightly disappointed as he was hoping Tim would choose Sue Barker as his hot momma. Dave said she is an attractive older lady after all, but Chris disagreed...
Chris - I’d rather do it with with Ally McCoist
(Dom and Dave laugh)
Dave - Point three of today’s show to question your sexuality
Chris - I tell ya what, I’d rather do it with Bill Beaumont!!
(Dave in fits of laughter as Chris plays Beyonce)
This was hilarious if you can catch it on Listen Again - at roughly 7:35 on Wednesday morning (note: you’ll only be able to hear it here if you’re listening before 10:20 am on Wednesday 16th June 2004). Half time (9:05 am) was good too today - it included Chris and Dave playing about with reverse echo and making announcements for a sports day, just like the sound you hear when you're near a school sports day and the teachers microphone is blown all over the place. Rachel called them such boys...
Rachel - You two get paid for doing this!!
Dave - I know. Shocking isn’t it
WHERE’S ALED: FINAL DAY (DAY 17)>>>>
(Today’s winner Kate from Swindon and Aled)
PASSWORD - “John Terry’s hamstring”
LOCATION - Next to the Oasis Leisure Centre in Swindon
CLUES - In an English town 90 miles from Northampton. This town’s football team is in Division 2 and in 1840 a large railway company selected this place for it’s home. Aled was standing on a walkway to a building’s entrance, with a car park in front of him, a dome to his right and a recycling centre nearby. Oh and Billie Piper comes from here too.
WINNER THROUGH TO THE AIRPORT FINAL - Kate (25) from Swindon won eventually, she was third to get to Aled but first with the exact password after both Mike and Ian had been unsuccessful. She screamed when she found out she’d won and apologised. Chris said there was no need - remember screaming sounds great on the trails. Kate had been in the first of around 30 cars to pull up after the Billie Piper clue, so Aled had a big queue of people forming to have a go at the password. They all trooped off disappointed as she got it right. Today is the last day of Where’s Aled and also the first venue to fox Comedy Dave from the mileage clues, that was until the Billie Piper clue was given. Aled told Chris that Juliette, Jocelyn and Rachel had all mentioned it earlier in the morning when he was on the studio phone but Chris and Dave mustn’t have heard. Big Paul has also left Aled with just a day off his trip left. He’s gone to check out the villa in Portugal with old afternoon show producer Rhys, who’s in charge of the whole Portugal trip. Aled had therefore been joined by Steve, but Chris and Dave didn’t have a clue who he was.
TWO TEXT WINNERS - After Aled’s exploits in Swindon this morning, just two places for the big airport final tomorrow were left up for grabs. They went to randomly selected texters who correctly guessed Aled’s location this week, before anyone found him in person. They were Tracy in Congleton (who screamed the house down) and a very shocked sounding Karl from Warwick. He obviously wasn’t listening to the show when Chris rang him, so it came as a double surprise. Rachel called it a lovely moment when Karl realised. Chris said he had thoroughly enjoyed it too - so much so that he needed a cigarette afterwards (cue deep breathing into the mic). All competition winners and their freeloading friends are meeting up with Chris and the crew for a drink tonight in London, that’s all ahead of the big airport final which remember you can hear live on the show tomorrow morning from 6:55.
ANOTHER FUNNY CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
SARAH who’s in the army and was at a schools roadshow in Inverness 2
MATT a kitchen fitter from the Wirral lost somewhere in London 0
**Sarah was in her army verheercle (as Dave would pronounce it) and Mr Vitty was wondering how she got in there...
Dave - Sarah, do you get into it by going through a flap in the top?
Sarah - You can do yeah or you can go through the back
(childish background laughter)
Chris (laughing) - What are we talking about now?
Dave - The army verheercle
Chris - Right OK fine**
**Chris gives out the first clue.. .
Chris - It looks like Mr Fish has just woken up...and what’s that on his pillow? Oh dear, it looks a bit wet but I’m not sure what that is
(Matt laughs)
Chris - Shut up Matt you perv
(Sarah’s horn beeps)
Chris - Yes Sarah?
Sarah - Wet dreams?
(Chris, Dave and Dom laugh) Chris (still laughing) - Oh Jesus!! Well believe it or not Sarah (plays clip)
Roy Walker - Oooh it’s good but it’s not right**
**Chris said you don’t need brains to get in the army these days after Sarah’s 2-0 victory. She asked for the new Keane album and said she’d love her camp in Bulford to become a Chris Moyles Approved Workplace:
Chris - OK, how old are you Sarah?
Sarah - I’m 21
Chris - Do you give it up easily..(interrupts himself)..are you good looking?
(Cue Dave pig squeal laugh)**
Daves Tedious Link
Take That feat Lulu Relight My Fire - “Relight my fire” is what an annoyed barbecuer might say if some idiot had just spilt water all over his briquettes - Briquettes rhymes with crickets, which make a noise by rubbing their little insect legs together - If human legs rub together it tends to result in chafing - Chafing can be alleviated with the help of talcom powder - Talcom powder is white and therefore not a great thing to have in your hand luggage - “Luggage” is one of the few words in the English language that contain’s three G’s - Three G’s is what you might be pulling if you were an astronaut experiencing re entry - Re entry is prohibited in many nightclubs unless you have a stamp on your hand - Hand rhymes with rand, which is the currency of South Africa - South Africa are to host the World Cup after Germany - Germany is the birthplace of Boris Becker - Boris Becker recently got caught with his trousers down in the broom cupboard of the appropriately named “Nobu” restaurant - Nobu is a big favourite with celebs such as Ant and Dec, Kirsty Gallacher, The Chemical Brothers and Noel Gallagher - Which links us predictably to a record which features The Chemical Brothers and Noel Gallagher, it is the Chemical Brothers and Setting Sun
TOMORROW ON THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW
It's the big Euro 2004 airport final. Make sure you're listening to 97-99FM from 6:55 am or check back here in a couple of days time for the full show review.
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7946">> Wednesday June 9th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
