chrismoyles.net
- Mon Jun 07, 2004 1:05 pm
#241938
1. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 3. Kelis - Trick Me, 4. The Killers - Mr Brightside, 5. BUZZ OFF - Living In A Box - Living In A Box, 6. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Jakatta - American Dream, 8. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 9. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know, 10. Evanescence - Bring Me To Life 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Basement Jaxx - Romeo, 12. Kristian Leontiou - Story Of My Life, 13. J Kwon - Tipsy, 14. Keane - Everybody's Changing 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Eminem - Lose Yourself, 16. Avril Lavigne - Don't Tell Me, 17. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 18. Supergrass - Richard III (Tedious Link), 19. Kanye West feat Syleena Johnson - All Falls Down, 20. Angel City featuring Lara McAllen - Touch Me, 21. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army, 22. Cassidy feat R. Kelly - Hotel 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. Sean Paul - Get Busy, 24. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 25. Sugababes - Round Round
It seems the new king of the backtimers is young Wes Buttersby, who for some reason is still covering Early Breakfast this week - despite Nemone being back and presumably available for Radio 1 selection again. Wes finished his show five seconds early this morning but Chris refused to start until bang on 6:55. He said that if he started five seconds early every day, he’d have given Radio 1 a free show by the end of the year. Wes said he couldn’t hang around for any wacky DJ handover banter though, cos he had to get off and drive home before the congestion charge kicked in. Ahh, so now it makes sense why the team all get cabs into work each day...and it only took me five months to work that out - joy. Chris played the commentary of England’s goals from their brilliant 6-1 drubbing of Iceland on Saturday, yet he still somehow managed to turn it into a negative and slag the team off again. I will gratefully accept your ticket Chris if you don’t want to go to the games in Portugal. I think this is the best team England has had in a long while and we certainly have our best chance to win a major tournament since Euro 96...ahh, those were the glory days. Chris and co fly out to Lisbon on Thursday, the same day as the voting in the European and Regional elections. Because Chris won’t be there to vote in person, the form he received told him he could vote by proxy. He was unsure though:
Chris - and I’m like why do I want him to vote for me? He’s a DJ on Capital and a judge on Pop Idol. I don’t really know him that well and I don’t trust him...
Ber dum tish. Make sure to miss Fatboy Fox’s new show “No Talent Required” on ITV1 this Friday, I think the title of the show obviously refers to it’s presenter as well. On the plus side, Fantasy Football is back at ten with Baddiel and Skinner (yay). Back to the elections (I know - zzz), Chris sent off his form asking for a postal vote and then received a letter back asking him the same question - how would you like to vote? He’s now got a letter back saying that “Your request for a postal vote in these elections has not been granted as it was not received until after the closing date, 5pm on Wednesday 2nd June”. However, this letter was written on the 4th of June and he received it straight away the following morning - bizarre.
Dom - Who are you gonna vote for?
Chris - GHOSTBUSTERS!!!
Dom - OK (Dave and Jules laugh)
Dave was knackered this morning cos he got just 2 hours sleep last night. If Dave was in a bad mood then Rachel was in a thunderous one. She was tired, grumpy and very, very sleepy. Chris did an internal memo telling all staff to avoid her today, but she did one back saying that she loves everyone at Radio 1. Dominic’s weather was as reliable as ever - he said it would be warm everywhere in the UK today, apart from in the north of England. I listened to this as I lay in bed with the sun beating down through the curtains...and yep I do live in the north of England. Dom said he whacked a bit of factor 15 on his bald head yesterday. He said you can never be too sure. Chris said factor 15 was a lot better than the factor 50 or whatever Rach is taking with her to Portugal...
Dave - Isn’t factor 50 like more protection than a duffelcoat?
(Rachel, Dom and Chris laugh)
Rachel said that she doesn’t go on sunbeds as it’s bad for her skin (a positive role model for the kids), but she does stick on the odd bit of St Tropez now and again. She said she’s going to go and sort out her bikini problems tomorrow. Dave told her that she needs to mix and match - small bikini bottoms and a boulder holder bikini top and she’s laughing. Chris and Dave both volunteered to make her a makeshift bikini if she can’t find one that fits. Dave said it would be easy - just a couple of hammocks and some string. Chris said in all honesty he’s dreading seeing Rachel in her bikini...
Chris - No it’s just I don’t want to be tempted...
Rachel - What!!??
Chris - ...to become gay
(Dave laughs)
WES’S CHART RECAP, TEAM PICTURES AND CBBC TRAILS:
Just 50 or so minutes after finishing his show this morning, Wes was back on the air - but this time live from his bed in his Bungle Bear pyjamas. He said he had the flu, felt awful and shouldn’t have come into work today. Chris called him the Dot Cotton of Radio 1. Wes was making weird noises down the phone. Chris asked him what he was doing. He said he was just trying to get the phlegm out of his nose. I’m just so glad I wasn’t tucking into my coco pops at that point (coco pops for the purposes of this review obviously, I’m more of a Crunchy Nut Cornflakes Man myself). Chris apologised for only catching a bit of Wes’s Chart yesterday. He said he was busy down at the childrens orphanage at the time - donating teddies and presents etc.
Wes - Aww, what for charidee?
Chris - ...no I get paid an appearance fee
(Dave and Wes laugh)
Emma Bunton’s dreadful new tune Crickets Sing For Anamaria only entered the chart at number 15 this week. Chris said his girlfriend Sophie hates Emma Bunton. He thinks a lot of girls don’t like her for some reason. Rachel claimed she did but Chris wasn’t having any of it. Thank the lord that Frankee nor Eamon was number one this week, but lord give us strength cos it was Mario Winans and I Don’t Wanna Know. I mean the tune’s ok but it’s not really number one quality is it. I’m pretty sick of R’n’B and hip hop altogether at the moment. I really am gobsmacked that Radio 1 have that Cassidy and R. Kelly record A-listed...mind you I shouldn't be, Radio 1 have plenty more hip hop drivel where that came from. Evanescence’s new single Everybody’s Fool went in at number 24 in the Top 40 yesterday. Chris proceeded to slag them off and then looked down at the music schedule to find them next to play. I don’t mind Bring Me To Life to be fair, but it has been out for a year now and Radio 1 still seem to play it on an hourly basis. Chris cut it off at the end and blamed technical problems. The problem being that he hates the song so hit the “Stop” button. An e-mail came in from someone who had seen the following photo and been shocked by it:
Not because Uma Thurman is putting on her best impression of how to make an attractive woman look like a man, but because Dominic has no hair and doesn’t look like a student. This conversation led onto the team discussing the other online pictures of each of them. Chris and Rachel agreed the following shot of her is awful, and Jules hates the horrible profile shot of her below. Dave said he thinks it makes her look German.
(Rachel and Juliette - the photos they hate)
Dom said some new ones are desperately needed. He said the ones on the Newsbeat pages are taken like a minute before the bulletin when everyones rushing around, and then are up on the page for the next 5 years. He did a brilliant impression of this that had me in stitches (not literally of course). Dave thinks the team should get a soft focus family portrait shot of them all. Jules asked who the daddy would be (I seriously doubt if she’s ever sounded less hip). Chris said it would be him of course..”and don’t you forget it mo fo”. Chris played a trail at 8:23 for the CBBC Channel. He asked why he had been given it to play because the suits upstairs knew that he wasn’t just gonna ignore that patronising drivel. He said he knew where his head was at - “at the top of me neck son”. Who can forget Chris playing the legendary Pete Tong trails for CBBC last year...borderline genius. Chris did a very patronising link for the kiddies at 8:30 and him and Dom showed their ignorance to the trails as they tried to grasp what digital kiddies channels the BBC has and what shows are shown on them. Dom said him and son Finton often settle down to watch the bedtime hour on CBeebies together. Dave started annoying Chris in a conversation about maroon coloured Ford cars (I can’t remember how they got onto that) and Moyles told him that if he didn’t shut up he’d be off to CBBC Radio. One of the main entertainment stories of the morning was the fact that Jennifer Lopez has got married yet AGAIN. I’m not even gonna go into it further as no one cares and I’m sick of the fat arsed bimbo. However, Chris said he was invited to her latest wedding but couldn’t go unfortunately. He was cutting his garden and busy watching the CBBC channel y’see.
CHRIS’S GARDEN TROUBLE:>>>>
Chris is having major garden problems at the moment. Sophie is bugging him to get it sorted out as the grass hasn’t been cut for going on a year now and it has alarmingly grown to waist height. Chris said he’s going away on Thursday so needs a Ground Force style SAS crack team to come round and sort it out asap. Apparently Dimmock, Titchmarsh and co are unavailable. Dave can’t help out today cos he’s up to his neck with work and Rachel is going out later so can’t be of service either. Dave thinks that Chris should just get it paved and make it into a rockery. He doesn’t want too though as he says he’ll use it when he’s old and boring. One texter said “get a goat” and another suggested Chris got his garden astroturfed for a tenner per m/sq. Dave said he could then stick some goals in it and they could play five a side there. Surprisingly Chris wasn’t so keen on this idea either. Dave said that if he really is that desperate to stop the neighbours thinking he’s some kind of idle slob, then he needs to get hold of a large cover like they have at Wimbledon and just cover up his garden while he’s away. Chris said his garden was 60ft long though and asked Dave where he would go about getting such a huge cover from.
Dave - I dunno, speak to the tennis people...they’ll know
Chris said he didn’t own a tennis court though so didn’t need a cover. He again tried to tempt Rachel or Dave round this afternoon with an offer of free pims.
Dave - I don’t think it’s a good idea to combine the use of pims in the sunshine with a potentially lethal strimmer
I probably should explain at this point that Chris bought himself a cordless strimmer yesterday. He didn’t opt for the conventional one with a power lead as his dad once cut through such a lead by accident while hedge trimming, resulting in him being chucked the length of the garden on his back. I’ll have more on Chris’s gardening dilemma tomorrow no doubt.
Buzz Off this morning was Living In A Box by erm,..Living In A Box. It was a number 5 hit back in the month I was born (that’s April 87 fact fans). The text response was poor and it lasted for just 2 minutes and 20 seconds. Chris was very disappointed. He said Rachel must’ve been on glue to buzz after just 21 seconds (cue Dave’s pig squeal laugh). The listeners followed on 1:55, Dave was next on 2:17 and Dom last on 2:20. With just three days to go till the team head out to Portugal, Chris has realised that they all need England shirts with their names on the back. Chris Moyles (or the saviour) - extra large, Comedy Dave - large, Producer Rachel - ladies medium, and Aled - I don’t care cos I’m Welsh, are the sizes. This was obviously a blatant appeal to any sports shops or England sponsors listening. Chris told Rach he was too busy entertaining the nation to go and buy any for himself. Mmm yeah, I do believe those sports shops close at 10am these days Chris. Motorway Monday may have been back but Chris wasn’t happy with Dom’s One Road Travel. Chris presses the buttons and is given a cue by Dom, but Byrne often goes and adds an extra word on the end which therefore crashes the jingle. He did it a couple of times today and Chris wasn’t a happy bunny. Other stuff today included Hells Kitchen and Sport Relief chat. Chris is pleased Jennifer Ellison won Hells Kitchen last night - because she was the best chef of course. Nah only kidding, it’s cos she does have *Steve Lamacq voice* loverly knockers. 1100 people have now registered online for The Moyles Mile in Leeds, including top bald headed newsreader Dominic Byrne.
Chris - I’ve confirmed you now...not like in a priest or religious way
(Dave laughs)
Dave said his friend Willie Mac’s confirmation name is Columbus. Please bear in mind that we hadn’t even reached half time by this point. Chris tried to make people feel guilty for not registering as his Dad (who had a quadruple heart bypass last week if you’ve been on another planet) is going to walk the mile for Sport Relief. Chris moaned about the fact that Leeds is being beaten by both London and Manchester in terms of registration numbers. I can understand the latter but little old London Village eh? Shocking. Here’s the web address for registration details (Sport Relief is Saturday July 10th 2004 btw) - http://www.sportrelief.com.
WHERE’S ALED: DAY 15>>>>
(Winner Ian Llewelyn and Aled in Cardiff this afternoon)
PASSWORD - “Five days to kick off”
LOCATION - Eventually found in Cardiff on Scott Mills’ new afternoon show
ALED WEEKEND ROUND UP - Friday in Bristol, Saturday in Taunton and Sunday in Newquay (pics below)
Chris saw that pic from Newquay and said that Aled looked like a podgy pillock in that wet suit, complete with his huge thunder thighs. Aled told him to stop it and said that he burnt his face in the sun yesterday. To add to the misery, his hayfever kicked in real bad today. Mine is absolutely horrendous - it’s like I can’t even step outside without medication at the moment. As mentioned above, the klaxon didn’t go off till Scott Mills’ show today, on which Aled was found by winner Ian in Cardiff. He’ll undergo two more missions tomorrow so make sure you’re listening to Chris for any possible clues after 8.
SCOTT MILLS SONG AND INTERNAL PHONE FUN:>>>>
Yep, Scott finally got off that substitutes bench this afternoon and stepped into Coxy’s shoes for his brand new Radio 1 afternoon show from 3 - 5:45. Chris said that although Scott does steal his ideas from him (e.g his prank phone calls from the ones Chris did with Cameron from BB last year) and copies him by playing records, jingles and wearing headphones, the two of them are good friends and as a symbol of his friendship, Chris sang Scott a good luck song this morning. It was over the instrumental to Simply The Best by Tina Turner, and proclaimed Scott “as simply second best”.
Lyrics: You’re Simply Second Best,
Second Best to all the rest, second best to anyone etc etc
AND:
From now on you’re on every day, please just don’t take a holiday
Chris brought back a bit of afternoon nostalgia by going through the internal BBC phonebook after 9 o’clock this morning. Names given by the posh guy included Geraldine Cardboard, Ben Gallop, Sutcha Fatsy, Thomas Norton and Ingerfum instead of MC Hammer. Chris and Dave were so caught up in the hilarity of the last one that they forgot to say cancel, so the line rang and you could hear the panic in Chris’s voice as he quickly put the phone down. A few listeners names were suggested and there were also your obligatory rude ones - “Iva Bigun”, “Ben Dover”, “Ben Down”, “Hugh Jer-nockers” and “Norma Snockers”. Chris also did do the now legendary one....*puts on high pitched voice* - Fergus Dudley!!.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JEFF a Lloyds Bank Call Centre worker from Caerphilly with a fake horn 2
SCOTT who runs his own Internet business in Oxford 1
Daves Tedious Link
Rest Assured Treat Infamy - The word “infamy” is applied to people who are famous for doing bad things - A bad thing is the opposite of a “Good Thing”, which was a 1989 hit for the Fine Young Cannibals - Cannibals like to eat other people and cannibal tribes still exist in Papa New Guinea - A guinea was a type of old fashioned coin - The word “coin” shares many of the same letters as the word “loin”, which is a popular type of pork - The non eating of pork is something shared in common by both the Jewish and Muslim faiths - Faith was a 1987 hit for George Michael, who is of Greek descent, as is Nemone - Nemone is like a proper female runner, a bit like a modern day Zola Budd - Zola Budd is famous for not wearing shoes, as is Sandie Shaw - Sandie Shaw shares the same surname as Mark Shaw, who was the lead singer of Then Jericho, whose biggest hit was called Big Area - and when you think of a big area, you probably think of large estates with acres of land that were originally owned by Kings and Queens of Britain, such as William The Conqueror, King Harold and of course Richard III - Which links us to Supergrass and Richard III
CHRIS’S FLAW:
*A loin is a cut of pork, not technically a type of pork
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7946">> Monday June 7th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
(Word Count is 3258 today - I’m not purposely making these reviews longer I promise, it’s just that the shows are so good at the moment!!)
It seems the new king of the backtimers is young Wes Buttersby, who for some reason is still covering Early Breakfast this week - despite Nemone being back and presumably available for Radio 1 selection again. Wes finished his show five seconds early this morning but Chris refused to start until bang on 6:55. He said that if he started five seconds early every day, he’d have given Radio 1 a free show by the end of the year. Wes said he couldn’t hang around for any wacky DJ handover banter though, cos he had to get off and drive home before the congestion charge kicked in. Ahh, so now it makes sense why the team all get cabs into work each day...and it only took me five months to work that out - joy. Chris played the commentary of England’s goals from their brilliant 6-1 drubbing of Iceland on Saturday, yet he still somehow managed to turn it into a negative and slag the team off again. I will gratefully accept your ticket Chris if you don’t want to go to the games in Portugal. I think this is the best team England has had in a long while and we certainly have our best chance to win a major tournament since Euro 96...ahh, those were the glory days. Chris and co fly out to Lisbon on Thursday, the same day as the voting in the European and Regional elections. Because Chris won’t be there to vote in person, the form he received told him he could vote by proxy. He was unsure though:
Chris - and I’m like why do I want him to vote for me? He’s a DJ on Capital and a judge on Pop Idol. I don’t really know him that well and I don’t trust him...
Ber dum tish. Make sure to miss Fatboy Fox’s new show “No Talent Required” on ITV1 this Friday, I think the title of the show obviously refers to it’s presenter as well. On the plus side, Fantasy Football is back at ten with Baddiel and Skinner (yay). Back to the elections (I know - zzz), Chris sent off his form asking for a postal vote and then received a letter back asking him the same question - how would you like to vote? He’s now got a letter back saying that “Your request for a postal vote in these elections has not been granted as it was not received until after the closing date, 5pm on Wednesday 2nd June”. However, this letter was written on the 4th of June and he received it straight away the following morning - bizarre.
Dom - Who are you gonna vote for?
Chris - GHOSTBUSTERS!!!
Dom - OK (Dave and Jules laugh)
Dave was knackered this morning cos he got just 2 hours sleep last night. If Dave was in a bad mood then Rachel was in a thunderous one. She was tired, grumpy and very, very sleepy. Chris did an internal memo telling all staff to avoid her today, but she did one back saying that she loves everyone at Radio 1. Dominic’s weather was as reliable as ever - he said it would be warm everywhere in the UK today, apart from in the north of England. I listened to this as I lay in bed with the sun beating down through the curtains...and yep I do live in the north of England. Dom said he whacked a bit of factor 15 on his bald head yesterday. He said you can never be too sure. Chris said factor 15 was a lot better than the factor 50 or whatever Rach is taking with her to Portugal...
Dave - Isn’t factor 50 like more protection than a duffelcoat?
(Rachel, Dom and Chris laugh)
Rachel said that she doesn’t go on sunbeds as it’s bad for her skin (a positive role model for the kids), but she does stick on the odd bit of St Tropez now and again. She said she’s going to go and sort out her bikini problems tomorrow. Dave told her that she needs to mix and match - small bikini bottoms and a boulder holder bikini top and she’s laughing. Chris and Dave both volunteered to make her a makeshift bikini if she can’t find one that fits. Dave said it would be easy - just a couple of hammocks and some string. Chris said in all honesty he’s dreading seeing Rachel in her bikini...
Chris - No it’s just I don’t want to be tempted...
Rachel - What!!??
Chris - ...to become gay
(Dave laughs)
WES’S CHART RECAP, TEAM PICTURES AND CBBC TRAILS:
Just 50 or so minutes after finishing his show this morning, Wes was back on the air - but this time live from his bed in his Bungle Bear pyjamas. He said he had the flu, felt awful and shouldn’t have come into work today. Chris called him the Dot Cotton of Radio 1. Wes was making weird noises down the phone. Chris asked him what he was doing. He said he was just trying to get the phlegm out of his nose. I’m just so glad I wasn’t tucking into my coco pops at that point (coco pops for the purposes of this review obviously, I’m more of a Crunchy Nut Cornflakes Man myself). Chris apologised for only catching a bit of Wes’s Chart yesterday. He said he was busy down at the childrens orphanage at the time - donating teddies and presents etc.
Wes - Aww, what for charidee?
Chris - ...no I get paid an appearance fee
(Dave and Wes laugh)
Emma Bunton’s dreadful new tune Crickets Sing For Anamaria only entered the chart at number 15 this week. Chris said his girlfriend Sophie hates Emma Bunton. He thinks a lot of girls don’t like her for some reason. Rachel claimed she did but Chris wasn’t having any of it. Thank the lord that Frankee nor Eamon was number one this week, but lord give us strength cos it was Mario Winans and I Don’t Wanna Know. I mean the tune’s ok but it’s not really number one quality is it. I’m pretty sick of R’n’B and hip hop altogether at the moment. I really am gobsmacked that Radio 1 have that Cassidy and R. Kelly record A-listed...mind you I shouldn't be, Radio 1 have plenty more hip hop drivel where that came from. Evanescence’s new single Everybody’s Fool went in at number 24 in the Top 40 yesterday. Chris proceeded to slag them off and then looked down at the music schedule to find them next to play. I don’t mind Bring Me To Life to be fair, but it has been out for a year now and Radio 1 still seem to play it on an hourly basis. Chris cut it off at the end and blamed technical problems. The problem being that he hates the song so hit the “Stop” button. An e-mail came in from someone who had seen the following photo and been shocked by it:
Not because Uma Thurman is putting on her best impression of how to make an attractive woman look like a man, but because Dominic has no hair and doesn’t look like a student. This conversation led onto the team discussing the other online pictures of each of them. Chris and Rachel agreed the following shot of her is awful, and Jules hates the horrible profile shot of her below. Dave said he thinks it makes her look German.
(Rachel and Juliette - the photos they hate)
Dom said some new ones are desperately needed. He said the ones on the Newsbeat pages are taken like a minute before the bulletin when everyones rushing around, and then are up on the page for the next 5 years. He did a brilliant impression of this that had me in stitches (not literally of course). Dave thinks the team should get a soft focus family portrait shot of them all. Jules asked who the daddy would be (I seriously doubt if she’s ever sounded less hip). Chris said it would be him of course..”and don’t you forget it mo fo”. Chris played a trail at 8:23 for the CBBC Channel. He asked why he had been given it to play because the suits upstairs knew that he wasn’t just gonna ignore that patronising drivel. He said he knew where his head was at - “at the top of me neck son”. Who can forget Chris playing the legendary Pete Tong trails for CBBC last year...borderline genius. Chris did a very patronising link for the kiddies at 8:30 and him and Dom showed their ignorance to the trails as they tried to grasp what digital kiddies channels the BBC has and what shows are shown on them. Dom said him and son Finton often settle down to watch the bedtime hour on CBeebies together. Dave started annoying Chris in a conversation about maroon coloured Ford cars (I can’t remember how they got onto that) and Moyles told him that if he didn’t shut up he’d be off to CBBC Radio. One of the main entertainment stories of the morning was the fact that Jennifer Lopez has got married yet AGAIN. I’m not even gonna go into it further as no one cares and I’m sick of the fat arsed bimbo. However, Chris said he was invited to her latest wedding but couldn’t go unfortunately. He was cutting his garden and busy watching the CBBC channel y’see.
CHRIS’S GARDEN TROUBLE:>>>>
Chris is having major garden problems at the moment. Sophie is bugging him to get it sorted out as the grass hasn’t been cut for going on a year now and it has alarmingly grown to waist height. Chris said he’s going away on Thursday so needs a Ground Force style SAS crack team to come round and sort it out asap. Apparently Dimmock, Titchmarsh and co are unavailable. Dave can’t help out today cos he’s up to his neck with work and Rachel is going out later so can’t be of service either. Dave thinks that Chris should just get it paved and make it into a rockery. He doesn’t want too though as he says he’ll use it when he’s old and boring. One texter said “get a goat” and another suggested Chris got his garden astroturfed for a tenner per m/sq. Dave said he could then stick some goals in it and they could play five a side there. Surprisingly Chris wasn’t so keen on this idea either. Dave said that if he really is that desperate to stop the neighbours thinking he’s some kind of idle slob, then he needs to get hold of a large cover like they have at Wimbledon and just cover up his garden while he’s away. Chris said his garden was 60ft long though and asked Dave where he would go about getting such a huge cover from.
Dave - I dunno, speak to the tennis people...they’ll know
Chris said he didn’t own a tennis court though so didn’t need a cover. He again tried to tempt Rachel or Dave round this afternoon with an offer of free pims.
Dave - I don’t think it’s a good idea to combine the use of pims in the sunshine with a potentially lethal strimmer
I probably should explain at this point that Chris bought himself a cordless strimmer yesterday. He didn’t opt for the conventional one with a power lead as his dad once cut through such a lead by accident while hedge trimming, resulting in him being chucked the length of the garden on his back. I’ll have more on Chris’s gardening dilemma tomorrow no doubt.
Buzz Off this morning was Living In A Box by erm,..Living In A Box. It was a number 5 hit back in the month I was born (that’s April 87 fact fans). The text response was poor and it lasted for just 2 minutes and 20 seconds. Chris was very disappointed. He said Rachel must’ve been on glue to buzz after just 21 seconds (cue Dave’s pig squeal laugh). The listeners followed on 1:55, Dave was next on 2:17 and Dom last on 2:20. With just three days to go till the team head out to Portugal, Chris has realised that they all need England shirts with their names on the back. Chris Moyles (or the saviour) - extra large, Comedy Dave - large, Producer Rachel - ladies medium, and Aled - I don’t care cos I’m Welsh, are the sizes. This was obviously a blatant appeal to any sports shops or England sponsors listening. Chris told Rach he was too busy entertaining the nation to go and buy any for himself. Mmm yeah, I do believe those sports shops close at 10am these days Chris. Motorway Monday may have been back but Chris wasn’t happy with Dom’s One Road Travel. Chris presses the buttons and is given a cue by Dom, but Byrne often goes and adds an extra word on the end which therefore crashes the jingle. He did it a couple of times today and Chris wasn’t a happy bunny. Other stuff today included Hells Kitchen and Sport Relief chat. Chris is pleased Jennifer Ellison won Hells Kitchen last night - because she was the best chef of course. Nah only kidding, it’s cos she does have *Steve Lamacq voice* loverly knockers. 1100 people have now registered online for The Moyles Mile in Leeds, including top bald headed newsreader Dominic Byrne.
Chris - I’ve confirmed you now...not like in a priest or religious way
(Dave laughs)
Dave said his friend Willie Mac’s confirmation name is Columbus. Please bear in mind that we hadn’t even reached half time by this point. Chris tried to make people feel guilty for not registering as his Dad (who had a quadruple heart bypass last week if you’ve been on another planet) is going to walk the mile for Sport Relief. Chris moaned about the fact that Leeds is being beaten by both London and Manchester in terms of registration numbers. I can understand the latter but little old London Village eh? Shocking. Here’s the web address for registration details (Sport Relief is Saturday July 10th 2004 btw) - http://www.sportrelief.com.
WHERE’S ALED: DAY 15>>>>
(Winner Ian Llewelyn and Aled in Cardiff this afternoon)
PASSWORD - “Five days to kick off”
LOCATION - Eventually found in Cardiff on Scott Mills’ new afternoon show
ALED WEEKEND ROUND UP - Friday in Bristol, Saturday in Taunton and Sunday in Newquay (pics below)
Chris saw that pic from Newquay and said that Aled looked like a podgy pillock in that wet suit, complete with his huge thunder thighs. Aled told him to stop it and said that he burnt his face in the sun yesterday. To add to the misery, his hayfever kicked in real bad today. Mine is absolutely horrendous - it’s like I can’t even step outside without medication at the moment. As mentioned above, the klaxon didn’t go off till Scott Mills’ show today, on which Aled was found by winner Ian in Cardiff. He’ll undergo two more missions tomorrow so make sure you’re listening to Chris for any possible clues after 8.
SCOTT MILLS SONG AND INTERNAL PHONE FUN:>>>>
Yep, Scott finally got off that substitutes bench this afternoon and stepped into Coxy’s shoes for his brand new Radio 1 afternoon show from 3 - 5:45. Chris said that although Scott does steal his ideas from him (e.g his prank phone calls from the ones Chris did with Cameron from BB last year) and copies him by playing records, jingles and wearing headphones, the two of them are good friends and as a symbol of his friendship, Chris sang Scott a good luck song this morning. It was over the instrumental to Simply The Best by Tina Turner, and proclaimed Scott “as simply second best”.
Lyrics: You’re Simply Second Best,
Second Best to all the rest, second best to anyone etc etc
AND:
From now on you’re on every day, please just don’t take a holiday
Chris brought back a bit of afternoon nostalgia by going through the internal BBC phonebook after 9 o’clock this morning. Names given by the posh guy included Geraldine Cardboard, Ben Gallop, Sutcha Fatsy, Thomas Norton and Ingerfum instead of MC Hammer. Chris and Dave were so caught up in the hilarity of the last one that they forgot to say cancel, so the line rang and you could hear the panic in Chris’s voice as he quickly put the phone down. A few listeners names were suggested and there were also your obligatory rude ones - “Iva Bigun”, “Ben Dover”, “Ben Down”, “Hugh Jer-nockers” and “Norma Snockers”. Chris also did do the now legendary one....*puts on high pitched voice* - Fergus Dudley!!.
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
JEFF a Lloyds Bank Call Centre worker from Caerphilly with a fake horn 2
SCOTT who runs his own Internet business in Oxford 1
Daves Tedious Link
Rest Assured Treat Infamy - The word “infamy” is applied to people who are famous for doing bad things - A bad thing is the opposite of a “Good Thing”, which was a 1989 hit for the Fine Young Cannibals - Cannibals like to eat other people and cannibal tribes still exist in Papa New Guinea - A guinea was a type of old fashioned coin - The word “coin” shares many of the same letters as the word “loin”, which is a popular type of pork - The non eating of pork is something shared in common by both the Jewish and Muslim faiths - Faith was a 1987 hit for George Michael, who is of Greek descent, as is Nemone - Nemone is like a proper female runner, a bit like a modern day Zola Budd - Zola Budd is famous for not wearing shoes, as is Sandie Shaw - Sandie Shaw shares the same surname as Mark Shaw, who was the lead singer of Then Jericho, whose biggest hit was called Big Area - and when you think of a big area, you probably think of large estates with acres of land that were originally owned by Kings and Queens of Britain, such as William The Conqueror, King Harold and of course Richard III - Which links us to Supergrass and Richard III
CHRIS’S FLAW:
*A loin is a cut of pork, not technically a type of pork
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7946">> Monday June 7th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
(Word Count is 3258 today - I’m not purposely making these reviews longer I promise, it’s just that the shows are so good at the moment!!)
