The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
#241891
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(Left to right - Chris, Dom, Rache, Dave and Jules in the BBC Radio Merseyside studios)
1. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 3. 50 Cent feat Snoop Dogg - P.I.M.P, 4. Narcotic Thrust - I Like It, 5. BUZZ OFF - Candy Flip - Strawberry Fields Forever, 6. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Love Inc - You’re A Superstar, 8. Outkast - The Way You Move, 9. McFly - 5 Colours In Her Hair, 10. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Shakedown - At Night, 12. Sugababes - In The Middle, 13. Eamon - F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back), 14. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 16. Jay-Z - Change Clothes, 17. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 18. The Farm - All Together Now (Tedious Link), 19. Broken Dolls - Rock'n'Roll (One Music Unsigned List), 20. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 21. Pete Doherty & Wolfman - For Lovers 9:30 NEWSBEAT 22. Basement Jaxx feat JC Chasez - Plug It In, 23. The Strokes - Last Nite, 24. Pink - God Is A DJ, 25. D12 - My Band

The show came live today from the studios of BBC Radio Merseyside in Liverpool, or as a security guard had earlier described it to Chris - “tango land” (for obvious reasons if you look at the above pic). The show began in slightly Southampton-esque fashion, with the whole team sounding tired and Chris blaming the studio for a trail packing up halfway through. Thankfully though the show improved considerably. One texter said Chris sounded like he’d eaten a packet of fags just before he went on the air. He preferred to think of himself as just a little bit rough and hungover from his antics last night down at Baby Cream in the Albert Dock. The team were with “eh it’s me” Tony Byrne and Shaun Tilley (who presents the drive show on Liverpool station Radio City and was at Radio Luxembourg at the same time as Chris was). The highlights from the night were Rachel knocking over a bottle of bubbly that Juliette had just payed 50 quid for and Dominic doing taekwondo at the bar (although he had no recollection of that this morning).
Rachel - Dominic told me I looked beautiful last night
Dave (straight away) - Well he’d had a few by then
Chris - Yeah he was jarred
Dominic - I was hammered Rachel
(all laugh)

Dom was recognised less than 60 seconds after getting off the train in Liverpool yesterday. He said some random bloke in a suit came up to him and told him that Chris should have let him play Satellite In Love in full on the guitar yesterday. Dom said this guy was a nice fella but had a funny voice. He did a brilliant impression of his accent that sounded like a cross between Cilla Black, Andy from Little Britain and Ringo Starr. Dom went busking outside McDonalds in Liverpool City Centre later yesterday afternoon, accompanied by Aled, Dave and Chris (the latter two were watching from a distance - almost as if they didn’t want to be associated with Dom or summat). Dom performed The Tide Is High by Blondie and Stay by U2 to his <s>huge</s> audience. The first went down like a fart in a crowded lift but the second fared slightly better. He made a grand total of £1.42 in his 3 and a half minutes of busking, including 17 pence donated by a warm hearted pensioner. Dave said the audio Chris played from it wasn’t the best as Dom’s playing was drowned out by the generator on the hot dog van opposite him. Chris played McFly and 5 Colours In Her Hair again today. He said he has now changed his mind about the record and thinks it’s great. He called it “nice, melodic, surfer Beach Boys-esque pop rock”. The McFly song has also received critical acclaim from Chris’s brother and Dave’s wife Emma. Rachel registered as a “street team” member on McFly’s website last week and she told Chris she’d received her McFly t-shirt in the post. All the blokes texting in wanted her to model it for the webcam, like she did with the England shirts the other week. Rache said she might do it on Tuesday. She’s taking a day off on Monday as it’s her birthday. I’m presuming Greyhead Will will be back on the air as her replacement. Chris didn’t believe that McFly had personally chosen their name from that of George McFly in Back To The Future. Rachel disagreed and a heated discussion followed...
Dave - Well it’s better than McFlurry isn’t it?
Chris’s Buzz Off choice today had a slight Liverpool theme to it and was picked especially for Dave. It was Strawberry Fields Forever by Candy Flip, which reached number 3 in March 1990. Dave said it was an all time classic that we don’t hear enough of on Radio 1 these days. However, less than two minutes later and Dave had completely reversed this opinion. Following Rachel on 0:47 and Dom (covering for Aled who was in his truck) on 1:19, Dave proceeded to Buzz Off one of his all time favourite records on 1 minute and 40 seconds. Chris couldn’t believe it. Dave said he appreciated the sentiment but the record hadn’t aged well. He added “I think there were a lot of drugs done in that era”. The listeners finally buzzed it off on 2:02. Chris said he might copy a Candy Flip album onto CD and burn it off for Rachel (who was unfamiliar with their work). Dave said he would probably be better off just burning it full stop. Today is the final day of Radio 1’s One Music Week and Chris finished the week by playing Rock'n'Roll by the Broken Dolls, Dave’s favourite track of the week. I would agree with Chris and say Tuesday’s track from The loveGods was my favourite. You can hear the Broken Dolls track here (you’ll need a Real One Player) and you can also download it in mp3 format by clicking here. All five acts on this weeks unsigned playlist will be profiled on Jo Whiley’s show next week and the eventual winner will then get a session at Maida Vale and permanent place on the Radio 1 Playlist.
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(The One Music Unsigned Playlist - Broken Dolls)

HOLLY DOLLIES LIVE IN THE STUDIO:
Aled was back in Chris’s big juggernaut this morning and was set the task of going down to the Hollyoaks set in Childwall (South Liverpool) and bringing back a couple of “Holly dollies” (copyright Comedic Dave) to chat to Chris. Chris said he had no real preferences about which girls, just anybody bar the ginge basically. Despite not watching Hollyoaks, Aled got five gold stars for bringing Gemma Atkinson (Lisa Hunter) and Sarah Dunn (Mandy Richardson) back with him. Sarah is 22 and from Leigh and Gemma is 19 and from Bury (I saw her in Clinton Cards a few months back actually).
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(Gemma, Aled and Sarah)
Chris put on his best impression of a perverted psychopath for the duration of the interview and at the end said he hoped he hadn’t freaked either of them out too much...cos he is actually normal in real life. Dave said Chris reminds him of Vic Reeves on Shooting Stars when female guests come on the show. Chris said he knew he sounded like an overtly desperate weirdo but said he was actually a little bit star struck and blatantly fancies Gemma. Dave said he had made that quite clear...
Chris (to Gemma) - Listen, you’re more than just a pair of breasts...which is an added bonus, but..
(cue Dave pig squeal laugh)

Chris seemed to offend Sarah a bit by continually asking her how long she’d been in the soap and then never listening to her reply of 8 years. He also seemed to pee her off a bit by making it perfectly clear that he fancied Gemma more than her (for the record I think Sarah is fitter). Chris did say though that Sarah had a crackin arse after looking at some calendar photos her and Gemma had brought in for him. They also had Hollyoaks gifts in the form of t-shirts, mugs, pens, satchels and bookmarks, but Chris said he was more interested in the photos to be honest. Chris said Hollyoaks has improved so much in the last 8 years as it used to be ruuubish before Sarah joined...
Chris - and good morning Will Mellor if you’re listening
Chris said hello to Sarah’s friend Jugs Jules, who’s so called for obvious reasons. This gave Dave an idea for a comedy character Jugs Jules, who’s actually a top heavy female lookalike of Radio 1 DJ Judge Jules. Chris had his usual ego a go go moment, saying “It must be really nice to meet me”. The interview with the girls ended in a similar fashion to how it had started..
Chris - If you’re ever in London then come and see us. You can always stay at mine if you need a place to stay
Gemma (not sounding too enthusiastic) - Yeah we’d love to
Chris - I don’t have a spare room or anything but you know, we’ll make do

The show was of course coming live from Liverpool today because of a “random” selection by the roulette wheel of chance on Monday. Note:- Absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it’s Mark and Lard’s last day and the team are going to go and see them in Manchester for their party tonight...hmm. Radcliffe and Riley were live on separate phones at 9:15 to talk about their final show...
Lard - You lot are very brave having us on the breakfast show with our reputation aren’t you?
Chris said it was his pleasure. Lard was speaking live from the kitchen of his house in Sale and Mark was just arriving for work at the BBC’s Manchester studios on Oxford Road (on a crappy phone that kept breaking up). Normally I would criticise Chris for arse licking the guests but in this instance I don’t have a problem with it. Mark and Lard (Moyles aside) have been the best show on Radio 1 for many a year and it’s very sad to see them go. Chris said he was feeling slightly emotional, having been on before them on Early Breakfast in 97 and on after them on afternoons for five years between 98 and 2003. There’s quite an interesting interview with Mark and Lard in todays MEN (you can read it here). Radcliffe talks about his dislike of Radio 1’s ever commercial stance and Lard says “It was good to get Manchester and the north of England a voice on the airwaves. It was London-centric for a while.”. Lard’s new show on 6Music starts next Saturday between 2 and 5pm (you can get 6Music on Sky Channel 870 or online at http://www.bbc.co.uk/6music). Radcliffe doesn’t start on Radio 2’s late shift until 7th June. Chris and Dave both gave their messages of thanks and good luck to Mark and Lard...
Chris - Dave what would you like to say?
Dave - I’d just like to say thank you very much and your names will go down in the anals of history
(Mark, Lard and Chris laugh)
Lard - You’re very kind

Dave had written a few special liners for the show in Liverpool that were sent off for American Paul Turner to voice. However, some of the jingles didn’t quite go according to plan, probably something to do with the fact that Paul’s from Philadelphia and not Merseyside. The funniest three Chris played on air were “corm down, corm down”, “Ferry across the mer-say” and “The Chris Moyles Show - Live from Scooseland”. Dave said on second thoughts he probably should have sent over the phonetic translation of Scouseland as well.

THE CHRIS MOYLES APPROVED WORKPLACE SCHEME:>>>
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(Aled on the phone to Chris while chatting to Sharon at Caines)
The inaugural winners of Chris’s brand new Workplace title were...Sharon and everyone at Caines brewery in Liverpool. She beat Des, Rebecca and Zoe to the prize because...well she worked in a brewery. Chris said it was probably her “Liverpool in a pint” line that had won it for them. Aled presented her with her prize and Dave said “Aled in a pint”. Chris said he now had a mental image he did not need. Aled ran to find Sharon in a Treasure Hunt stylee, live on the air at 9:40. Shortly after there was a special celebrity guest live in the studio - the one and only MC LMNOP, frontman of the legendary Moped. He said coincidentally him and his Battenberg band mates had just arrived in Liverpool on the day that Moyles was live from there (absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they’re really from St Helens on Merseyside). The chat with Mr LMNOP (who was rapidly losing his German accent) was fairly brief as they had recorded a special “Moped Mersey Megamix” that Chris had to fit in before the end of the show.

NO CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY
With both MC LMNOP and the winner of The Chris Moyles Approved Workplace Scheme to fit into the final half hour, there was no time for Roy Walker and Mr Fish today. Carpark Catchphrase will return after 9:30 on Monday.

Daves Tedious Link
Blur There's No Other Way - Blur are from Colchester which is in Essex - Essex first name David is a male singer with pierced ears and in that respect shares something in common with Elton John - Elton John’s other half is David Furnish - David Furnish shares the same first name as David Frost - Frost can kill bedding plant and can be a real menace to strawberries - Strawberries go with cream - Cream was a legendary club in Liverpool - Liverpool is where we are this morning - This Morning with Richard and Judy used to be filmed at the Albert Dock, which is where we were drinking last night - Last Nite was a recent hit for The Strokes - Strokes are what you give as a form of affection when petting animals - and animals are what you’d expect to find on a farm - Which links us to this morning’s special Liverpool Tedious Link Track, The Farm and All Together Now

WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Thursday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Gerald Krasner “slightly higher” talk on Tuesday, Tuesday’s Spot The Difference Caller, Chris kicking Aled/calling Rachel on Wednesday, Dom showing off his guitar skills on Thursday and his Scouse impressions today.
**Don’t forget you can Listen Again to any of the weeks shows at Chris’s R1 mini-site. Also, if you missed any of Mark and Lard’s final ever show then it is available to listen again to for a short time only (just till this Friday) at Radio 1 Online (click here for the direct link). Their final show included musical tributes from Travis and Coldplay amongst others, Fat Harry White’s last ever appearance, the last ever GMIP and Mystery Man, two hours of records chosen entirely by them and of course the genius ending involving the emergency DAT and Outkast.**
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Farewell Mark and Lard - the end of an era.

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