chrismoyles.net
- Tue Mar 09, 2004 9:31 pm
#241877
1. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. The Strokes - 12:51, 3. Jamelia - Thank You, 4. Raghav - Can’t Get Enough, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Jackson 5 - ABC, 6. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Truth Hurts feat Rakim - Addictive, 8. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 9. Beyonce Knowles feat Lil' Flip - Naughty Girl, 10. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. The Chemical Brothers - Hey Boy Hey Girl, 12. Outkast - The Way You Move, 13. Blink 182 - I Miss You, 14. 50 Cent - In Da Club 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Love Inc - You’re A Superstar, 16. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 17. Christina Aguilera feat Redman - Dirrty, 18. Seal - Crazy (Tedious Link), 19. Britney Spears - Toxic, 20. Eamon - F**k It (I Don’t Want You Back), 21. The Thrills - Santa Cruz (You’re Not That Far), 22. Jennifer Lopez - Baby I Love U! (R. Kelly Remix) 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 24. Blur - Out Of Time, 25. Busta Rhymes feat Mariah Carey - I Know What You Want
Chris was feeling slightly tired at the start of today’s show and said that he fell back to sleep two or three times before finally clambering out of bed this morning. Dave said he too was knackered, although neither were hung over as both had a quiet night in last night. Chris said all Monday night TV is crap, although Dave thought Corrie was reasonably exciting last night. Chris admitted he was in a bit of a bad mood as it’s his rearranged date at the dentists later today. Thankfully he didn’t go on about it all show like he did last time. He also didn’t go on about his visit to the gym yesterday despite saying he would talk about it later, presumably because he forgot. Aled was back this morning after his little weekend jaunt to New York, and according to Chris he had turned up for work today dressed like a “hip hop clown”. He was wearing the first of many new outfits that he will be showcasing this week, opting for a Taffy G look today with his huge, baggy Rik Waller sized jeans. Aled said they weren’t as bad as Chris had made out but admitted that he did need to get a belt to go with them. The rest of his new outfit consisted of a pair of lime green Diesel trainers, a sleeveless jacket and a little cut-off Justin Timberlake top (how butch). Aled had a great time out in New York for his mates birthday and said he did lots of shopping and lots of drinking, but not much sleeping. Chris said judging by his new gear he did his drinking first and his shopping second. Aled was upset that Chris was taking the pee as he said he cares passionately about his clothes. Chris said that to be honest, him, Dave and Rachel weren’t really in a position to criticise themselves. Chris was kitted out this morning in something that he said you’d only ever wipe the car with, Rach was wearing the first thing she found on her bedroom floor when she woke up, and Dave.....well needless to say, he was wearing one of his Boxing Day jumpers bought by Emma.
Dave (talking about Aled) - He’s got no sleeves on his jacket. He looks like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video...
(hits Raghav vocal - Chris and Rachel laugh)
Aled said that one store in New York actually gave him gift vouchers for spending so much. Chris said he had changed. As well as splashing out on all sorts of stuff, Aled flew out business class and stayed in a five star hotel. Chris wanted to know where all this cash had suddenly come from (he didn’t do Waw Ffactor for nothing you know Chris).
(Aled and friends in New York)
ALED’S PRESENTS FROM NEW YORK:>>> Of course, a trip to NY meant presents galore for the team this morning, courtesy of Aled. He said their theme was fairly obvious. It was New York, not pink to Chris’s relief. Aled got Rachel an XXL size “I heart NY” t-shirt that she had asked for, although it wasn’t in the colour she wanted (white) and Rach was quick to complain. Aled rightly called her an ungracious cow and moved swiftly onto Juliette’s gift. Being a sports reader, he’d got her an authentic and fairly expensive looking New York Yankees baseball cap. Unfortunately Aled missed the opportunity to buy Dom a wig and instead got him an FBI t-shirt (cos he’s a serious news journo of course). Dom didn’t sound too chuffed but Comedy Dave seemed more than pleased with his “I Heart NY” mug, that he said he will drink his tea out of each morning. Then it was time for the moment everyone had been waiting for - Chris’s gift. At first he thought Aled had just bought him a crappy NY branded cigarette lighter, but then he was given his main present - a camp, sleeveless ill fitting crop top from Abercrombie & Fitch that said “I love to party” on it. Aled thought he had bought it in XXL size, but to his surprise and Chris’s horror he’d only got it in a medium. Chris said he’d never fit into it in a million years and if he did, he'd look exactly like Daffyd from Little Britain. At 9:20 Chris went out of the studio and came back in after Dave had back announced The Thrills, wearing (without a t-shirt over it) his new top from the States. Jo Whiley had come into the studio to perv at him and said his man boobs looked great. Chris tried to suck his stomach in but couldn’t do it for long. He also cannily avoided getting caught on the webcam and refused to pose for an online photo. Dave tried the top on later but when analysing Chris’s new look, he said “to be honest, I think you could have done with a large”.
Chris (talking about his new top) - Do you know...I like it
Dave - Do you?
Chris - You know, I feel as if there’s another side of me coming out
Dave - There’s certainly many sides of you coming out...over your belt mostly
(Chris & Juliette laugh)
The world came to a standstill today after the quite devastating news broke that that lard arse Bryan McFadden is quitting Westlife. At the time Chris was on the air it was just a rumour, but nevertheless he wanted to help the teenyboppers <s>celebrate</s> mourn his departure, and opened up a studio hot line that they could dial and chat to him on, allowing him to help them come to terms with their loss. The hot line was a fake one obviously and at numerous points during the show the sound effect of a telephone went off while Chris went off-mic to “pick it up”. It rang three times after the 8:00 Newsbeat bulletin, one was a caller pleased the fat git had gone, one was wanting to know whether Aled was back and the other had got the wrong number. Dave joined in by answering a call, saying no this wasn’t the number for Carpark Catchphrase. The hot line was jammed with fake calls, including ones from Scott Mills, Anne Robinson, the big boss Parf Daddy and two from head of Newsbeat “Hot Rod” McKenzie, telling Chris to shut up and stop interrupting the bulletins. Chris said he was obviously going to be no exception to the other smug radio and TV presenters taking the pee out of Westlife today, but he does have a bit of respect for them because they’ve had 11 number one singles out of a possible 13 - and are loaded. Westlife are at 10 in this weeks official chart, four places above the great Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, which Chris played again today. Chris had it written down on his script that he had to plug Keane in the Live Lounge with Jo Whiley on May 10th, even though it’s not yet March 10th. Chris asked how Jo knew what she was doing in two months time, when he didn’t even have the faintest clue what he was doing after 9 o’clock. Dave said they’d probably just pad after 9 as “that’s the part of the show where we like to take our foot off the gas”. There were first breakfast plays today for the new singles by both Eamon and Beyonce. Beyonce’s one was dreadful although Dave of course said it was “an excellent record”. There was also a horrifying moment just before 8 when Chris considered dropping the fantastic Joss Stone (buy her album - it’s great) to play the new one by Nickelback, although thankfully Dave and Rach persuaded him out of it. Buzz Off this morning was Chris’s second choice of the year so far by The Jackson 5 - their 1970 classic ABC. Aled buzzed on 54 seconds, Rach next on 1:11, the listeners after that on 2:07 and Dave was last on 2:16 (cos of timings of course).
Chris - I believe just as the show is starting to pick up speed and head towards Sony award winning territory, it’s all gonna collapse around us cos you have another great game coming up in the next half hour of the show
Dave - Let’s have some fun
THE DREADED RETURN OF REVERSE-A-WORD:
I don’t think the phrase “let’s have some fun” mixes too well with this particular one of Dave’s EQF’s (experimental quiz formats). It was back for it’s second outing today because according to Dave, it has received significant interest from a number of TV companies. Chris said that that was rollocks but Dave told him to shush. The rules of the game were the same as on it’s first outing on February 11th, except for a few minor changes to the scoring system (1pt per letter remaining when you correctly guess the word). Dave also had a new tag line - “The game that will turn your word upside down...and then back again”. Once more the contestants were Chris Moyles (a 30 year old former Radio Top Shop DJ from Leeds) and Dominic Byrne (a serious journo from London but originally born in Norwich). Rachel was also back on the “scoring pad” and Dave once again said her role was a bit like Carol Vorderman’s but with less on air involvement. The words worked their way up from 3 to 12 letters - Hat, Goat, Donut, Salmon, Germany, Mountain, Moustache, Television, Cauliflower and Photographer. Rach was having serious points problems again (not Weightwatchers) and had screwed up the score. Dave called her a silly cow who was making him look like a half-wit (to be honest he was doing a pretty good job himself). By my calculations and understanding of the complicated Reverse-a-word points system, Chris beat Dom by 17 and a half points to 11 and a half. Dave said perhaps the quiz had gone on slightly too long (15 minutes) but with the battle still on for the BBC Listen Again top spot, he said that Reverse-a-word could be a deadly weapon for the show in terms of boosting their online figures. He said that everyone would be logging on at work later just to hear it once again. I listened to it twice (both live and when reviewing) and let me tell you, once was more than enough. The text reaction seemed to go along with that and examples of messages coming in were “Dave is an idiot”, “Chris please stop him now” and “Chris, can I sue Dave for damage to my car when I fall asleep at the wheel?”.
RADIO 1’S DIGITAL WEEK:>>>(For full details see Mon 8th March Review below or visit here)
Playing for a Freeview set top box today was Jane from Reading, a 22 year old student currently temping for the council. She sounded quite foxy and said she was still at home in her dressing gown. Chris flirted with her until she told him she had a boyfriend, when he suddenly said that he needed to get on with the competition. Her question asked what Freeview channel number Radio 1 was - 70, 111 or 93. She was clearly struggling but once Chris and Dave had steered her in the direction of option A, she guessed correctly that it is channel 70 and won the Freeview box. Jane seemed really genuinely pleased that she’d won, as she said she only has channels 1 to 4 at the moment. She said she had a feeling her life had changed forever and is through to next Monday’s big final on the show, where she could be winning Radio 1’s big Digital Life (again for more on that see yesterdays review).
Chris (cheesy local DJ voice) - You enjoy your prize and tell me, what radio station gives you a Freeview box?
Jane - Radio 1!
Dave - Yeah
(slight pause)
Chris - Right there’s the trail. Thanks very much my darlin'
(Rach and Aled laugh)
(Mills beautifully modelling two DAB Digital radios)
After Jane and Chris had finally said their goodbyes to each other...
Chris - She sounds niiiice doesn’t she...I bet she’s a dog. Are you still there my darlin'?
Jane - Yeah I Am!!!!
(Rach and Aled laugh)
Chris - Oh right, lovely, thank you
(quickly plays jingle)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
STEVE who delivers for MFI in Whitley Bay 2
CARL a “technical service engineer” in Huddersfield’s boozers 1
Daves Tedious Link
Coldplay Shiver - Shiver is what an eskimo would be forced to do if somebody had mistakenly taken his or her coat - Coat rhymes with stoat, which is a bit like a wheezily ferret sort of thing with sharp teeth that would cut you if bitten hard - Other animals that possess sharp and dangerous teeth include snakes, sharks and tigers - Tigers are a famous type of striped animal and in that respect are a bit like zebras - The word “zebras” shares many of the same letters as the word “Seabreem”, which is a type of fish - Fish or more precisely domestic fish live in tanks - Tanks rhymes with shanks, which is a cut of lamb popular for use in stews - Stews are good in the winter, as are woolly hats - Hats are worn on the head - and the head is a part of the body that can (if trained) be used to do tricks with a ball - However, this ability is not just restricted to humans because some of the best headers of the ball are actually seals - Which links us to Seal and Crazy
Chris was feeling slightly tired at the start of today’s show and said that he fell back to sleep two or three times before finally clambering out of bed this morning. Dave said he too was knackered, although neither were hung over as both had a quiet night in last night. Chris said all Monday night TV is crap, although Dave thought Corrie was reasonably exciting last night. Chris admitted he was in a bit of a bad mood as it’s his rearranged date at the dentists later today. Thankfully he didn’t go on about it all show like he did last time. He also didn’t go on about his visit to the gym yesterday despite saying he would talk about it later, presumably because he forgot. Aled was back this morning after his little weekend jaunt to New York, and according to Chris he had turned up for work today dressed like a “hip hop clown”. He was wearing the first of many new outfits that he will be showcasing this week, opting for a Taffy G look today with his huge, baggy Rik Waller sized jeans. Aled said they weren’t as bad as Chris had made out but admitted that he did need to get a belt to go with them. The rest of his new outfit consisted of a pair of lime green Diesel trainers, a sleeveless jacket and a little cut-off Justin Timberlake top (how butch). Aled had a great time out in New York for his mates birthday and said he did lots of shopping and lots of drinking, but not much sleeping. Chris said judging by his new gear he did his drinking first and his shopping second. Aled was upset that Chris was taking the pee as he said he cares passionately about his clothes. Chris said that to be honest, him, Dave and Rachel weren’t really in a position to criticise themselves. Chris was kitted out this morning in something that he said you’d only ever wipe the car with, Rach was wearing the first thing she found on her bedroom floor when she woke up, and Dave.....well needless to say, he was wearing one of his Boxing Day jumpers bought by Emma.
Dave (talking about Aled) - He’s got no sleeves on his jacket. He looks like Michael Jackson in the Thriller video...
(hits Raghav vocal - Chris and Rachel laugh)
Aled said that one store in New York actually gave him gift vouchers for spending so much. Chris said he had changed. As well as splashing out on all sorts of stuff, Aled flew out business class and stayed in a five star hotel. Chris wanted to know where all this cash had suddenly come from (he didn’t do Waw Ffactor for nothing you know Chris).
(Aled and friends in New York)
ALED’S PRESENTS FROM NEW YORK:>>> Of course, a trip to NY meant presents galore for the team this morning, courtesy of Aled. He said their theme was fairly obvious. It was New York, not pink to Chris’s relief. Aled got Rachel an XXL size “I heart NY” t-shirt that she had asked for, although it wasn’t in the colour she wanted (white) and Rach was quick to complain. Aled rightly called her an ungracious cow and moved swiftly onto Juliette’s gift. Being a sports reader, he’d got her an authentic and fairly expensive looking New York Yankees baseball cap. Unfortunately Aled missed the opportunity to buy Dom a wig and instead got him an FBI t-shirt (cos he’s a serious news journo of course). Dom didn’t sound too chuffed but Comedy Dave seemed more than pleased with his “I Heart NY” mug, that he said he will drink his tea out of each morning. Then it was time for the moment everyone had been waiting for - Chris’s gift. At first he thought Aled had just bought him a crappy NY branded cigarette lighter, but then he was given his main present - a camp, sleeveless ill fitting crop top from Abercrombie & Fitch that said “I love to party” on it. Aled thought he had bought it in XXL size, but to his surprise and Chris’s horror he’d only got it in a medium. Chris said he’d never fit into it in a million years and if he did, he'd look exactly like Daffyd from Little Britain. At 9:20 Chris went out of the studio and came back in after Dave had back announced The Thrills, wearing (without a t-shirt over it) his new top from the States. Jo Whiley had come into the studio to perv at him and said his man boobs looked great. Chris tried to suck his stomach in but couldn’t do it for long. He also cannily avoided getting caught on the webcam and refused to pose for an online photo. Dave tried the top on later but when analysing Chris’s new look, he said “to be honest, I think you could have done with a large”.
Chris (talking about his new top) - Do you know...I like it
Dave - Do you?
Chris - You know, I feel as if there’s another side of me coming out
Dave - There’s certainly many sides of you coming out...over your belt mostly
(Chris & Juliette laugh)
The world came to a standstill today after the quite devastating news broke that that lard arse Bryan McFadden is quitting Westlife. At the time Chris was on the air it was just a rumour, but nevertheless he wanted to help the teenyboppers <s>celebrate</s> mourn his departure, and opened up a studio hot line that they could dial and chat to him on, allowing him to help them come to terms with their loss. The hot line was a fake one obviously and at numerous points during the show the sound effect of a telephone went off while Chris went off-mic to “pick it up”. It rang three times after the 8:00 Newsbeat bulletin, one was a caller pleased the fat git had gone, one was wanting to know whether Aled was back and the other had got the wrong number. Dave joined in by answering a call, saying no this wasn’t the number for Carpark Catchphrase. The hot line was jammed with fake calls, including ones from Scott Mills, Anne Robinson, the big boss Parf Daddy and two from head of Newsbeat “Hot Rod” McKenzie, telling Chris to shut up and stop interrupting the bulletins. Chris said he was obviously going to be no exception to the other smug radio and TV presenters taking the pee out of Westlife today, but he does have a bit of respect for them because they’ve had 11 number one singles out of a possible 13 - and are loaded. Westlife are at 10 in this weeks official chart, four places above the great Somewhere Only We Know by Keane, which Chris played again today. Chris had it written down on his script that he had to plug Keane in the Live Lounge with Jo Whiley on May 10th, even though it’s not yet March 10th. Chris asked how Jo knew what she was doing in two months time, when he didn’t even have the faintest clue what he was doing after 9 o’clock. Dave said they’d probably just pad after 9 as “that’s the part of the show where we like to take our foot off the gas”. There were first breakfast plays today for the new singles by both Eamon and Beyonce. Beyonce’s one was dreadful although Dave of course said it was “an excellent record”. There was also a horrifying moment just before 8 when Chris considered dropping the fantastic Joss Stone (buy her album - it’s great) to play the new one by Nickelback, although thankfully Dave and Rach persuaded him out of it. Buzz Off this morning was Chris’s second choice of the year so far by The Jackson 5 - their 1970 classic ABC. Aled buzzed on 54 seconds, Rach next on 1:11, the listeners after that on 2:07 and Dave was last on 2:16 (cos of timings of course).
Chris - I believe just as the show is starting to pick up speed and head towards Sony award winning territory, it’s all gonna collapse around us cos you have another great game coming up in the next half hour of the show
Dave - Let’s have some fun
THE DREADED RETURN OF REVERSE-A-WORD:
I don’t think the phrase “let’s have some fun” mixes too well with this particular one of Dave’s EQF’s (experimental quiz formats). It was back for it’s second outing today because according to Dave, it has received significant interest from a number of TV companies. Chris said that that was rollocks but Dave told him to shush. The rules of the game were the same as on it’s first outing on February 11th, except for a few minor changes to the scoring system (1pt per letter remaining when you correctly guess the word). Dave also had a new tag line - “The game that will turn your word upside down...and then back again”. Once more the contestants were Chris Moyles (a 30 year old former Radio Top Shop DJ from Leeds) and Dominic Byrne (a serious journo from London but originally born in Norwich). Rachel was also back on the “scoring pad” and Dave once again said her role was a bit like Carol Vorderman’s but with less on air involvement. The words worked their way up from 3 to 12 letters - Hat, Goat, Donut, Salmon, Germany, Mountain, Moustache, Television, Cauliflower and Photographer. Rach was having serious points problems again (not Weightwatchers) and had screwed up the score. Dave called her a silly cow who was making him look like a half-wit (to be honest he was doing a pretty good job himself). By my calculations and understanding of the complicated Reverse-a-word points system, Chris beat Dom by 17 and a half points to 11 and a half. Dave said perhaps the quiz had gone on slightly too long (15 minutes) but with the battle still on for the BBC Listen Again top spot, he said that Reverse-a-word could be a deadly weapon for the show in terms of boosting their online figures. He said that everyone would be logging on at work later just to hear it once again. I listened to it twice (both live and when reviewing) and let me tell you, once was more than enough. The text reaction seemed to go along with that and examples of messages coming in were “Dave is an idiot”, “Chris please stop him now” and “Chris, can I sue Dave for damage to my car when I fall asleep at the wheel?”.
RADIO 1’S DIGITAL WEEK:>>>(For full details see Mon 8th March Review below or visit here)
Playing for a Freeview set top box today was Jane from Reading, a 22 year old student currently temping for the council. She sounded quite foxy and said she was still at home in her dressing gown. Chris flirted with her until she told him she had a boyfriend, when he suddenly said that he needed to get on with the competition. Her question asked what Freeview channel number Radio 1 was - 70, 111 or 93. She was clearly struggling but once Chris and Dave had steered her in the direction of option A, she guessed correctly that it is channel 70 and won the Freeview box. Jane seemed really genuinely pleased that she’d won, as she said she only has channels 1 to 4 at the moment. She said she had a feeling her life had changed forever and is through to next Monday’s big final on the show, where she could be winning Radio 1’s big Digital Life (again for more on that see yesterdays review).
Chris (cheesy local DJ voice) - You enjoy your prize and tell me, what radio station gives you a Freeview box?
Jane - Radio 1!
Dave - Yeah
(slight pause)
Chris - Right there’s the trail. Thanks very much my darlin'
(Rach and Aled laugh)
(Mills beautifully modelling two DAB Digital radios)
After Jane and Chris had finally said their goodbyes to each other...
Chris - She sounds niiiice doesn’t she...I bet she’s a dog. Are you still there my darlin'?
Jane - Yeah I Am!!!!
(Rach and Aled laugh)
Chris - Oh right, lovely, thank you
(quickly plays jingle)
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
STEVE who delivers for MFI in Whitley Bay 2
CARL a “technical service engineer” in Huddersfield’s boozers 1
Daves Tedious Link
Coldplay Shiver - Shiver is what an eskimo would be forced to do if somebody had mistakenly taken his or her coat - Coat rhymes with stoat, which is a bit like a wheezily ferret sort of thing with sharp teeth that would cut you if bitten hard - Other animals that possess sharp and dangerous teeth include snakes, sharks and tigers - Tigers are a famous type of striped animal and in that respect are a bit like zebras - The word “zebras” shares many of the same letters as the word “Seabreem”, which is a type of fish - Fish or more precisely domestic fish live in tanks - Tanks rhymes with shanks, which is a cut of lamb popular for use in stews - Stews are good in the winter, as are woolly hats - Hats are worn on the head - and the head is a part of the body that can (if trained) be used to do tricks with a ball - However, this ability is not just restricted to humans because some of the best headers of the ball are actually seals - Which links us to Seal and Crazy
