chrismoyles.net
- Tue Mar 02, 2004 9:50 pm
#241872
KYLIE ON THE CHRIS MOYLES SHOW
(Middle pic left to right - Dom, Juliette, Aled, Kylie, Dave, Chris and Rachel. If you’re very sad you can download the pic of Kylie and the team as wallpaper at Radio 1 ONLINE).
1. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 3. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 4. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch, 6. Wayne Wonder - No Letting Go 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. U2 - Beautiful Day, 8. Jamelia - Thank You, 9. Ferry Corsten - Rock Your Body Rock 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Moby - Natural Blues, 11. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 12. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 14. DJ Sammy feat Yanou & Do - Heaven, 15. Stereo MC’s - Connected (Tedious Link), 16. Britney Spears - Toxic, 17. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 18. Pink - God Is A DJ, 19. Outkast - The Way You Move, 20. Enrique Iglesias feat Kelis - Not In Love 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 22. Feeder - Just The Way I’m Feeling, 23. Eminem - Without Me
Chris - I like to fight the criticisms of Radio 1 when they say that the BBC is dumbing down and being a bit too coarse...so it’s nice to hear Nemone at quarter to seven in the morning talking about getting sick
Dave - Why is she gonna be sick? I must have been in the lavatory at that point
Chris (laughs) - There you go...again the critics haven’t a leg to stand on..
The bad weather is starting to get on Chris’s thrupny bits so at the start of todays show, Dave and him devised a plan on how to bring good weather to the people of the UK. Dave said the technology must now exist for somebody to be able to tow Britain to the Mediterranean and park it up next to Ibiza. Chris said that we should build massive skyscrapers with huge fans on them, so that they will blow away all the clouds. He also said that we should all storm the south of France and boot the froggies out to Switzerland while we stay there. Dave said “bring back colonialism”. Rachel found it funny that Chris and Dave were genuinely getting excited about the prospect of this happening. Aled celebrated St David’s Day evening in the traditional manner last night...by watching 5 editions of 24 back to back. Chris was tuned in to the local BBC Wales news via his Sky red button, flicking between both that and all the John Charles stuff over on Look North with Harry Gration. Buzz Off today was The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang (the song with them dressed as monkeys in the video). It reached number 4 in April 2000 and Chris was playing it from his Top Of The Pops 2000 Volume 2 CD. Rach buzzed first on 17 seconds, Dave was next on 3:06, Aled third on 3:08 and the listeners got rid of it shortly afterwards on 3:14. Yesterday on the show, twin sisters Karen and Sharon Savage from Widnes won the chance to come in and meet Kylie. Before they arrived the team (apart from Rach who wouldn’t take part) were all placing bets in a Banzai stylee on whether or not the twins would be hot. Everyone said hot apart from Chris who said they would probably be dogs. This subject was never raised again after their arrival...just make of that what you will. *cough* munters *cough*
(The twins and Kylie - she’s the one in the middle in case you are wondering)
MOYLES GOES BACK TO REALITY:
Roughly 30 minutes after dismissing the wacky radio DJ “wakey wakey get out of bed” thing as not suiting their style, Chris and Dave had some very special people to wake up at exactly 7:45 this morning. Yes, they were waking up the remaining “celebrities” in the Back To Reality house. Chris stopped the music and turned up the echo, first making spooky noises then calling one by one for everyone to get out of bed. He talked about each of the remaining contestants - Craig with his muscles, Josie with her hair, Jade with her voice, James with his drink (Dave said his cravate) and Maureen with...erm, good morning Maureen!! Chris said the challenge was for someone to go outside to the phone box, pick up, answer and then chat live on the air to Chris (therefore receiving the shows backing to win Back To Reality). Things didn’t quite go according to plan though and the line rang for 2 minutes with no answer. While they waited Chris chatted to Dave...
Chris - Imagine how irritating...being woken up by me...oh hang on I do wake everyone up every day don’t I?
The phone connection cut off eventually to leave the show in an on air technical crisis. Dave pointed out “one of them picking up the phone is crucial to this feature”. After some quick work on the throw a six to start phone system by fingers Rachel (good mornin), the line was back up again. Chris said never mind Weightwatchers, she’d lost half a stone just doing that. He said he’d never seen her move so fast in all his life (Dave said not before last orders anyway). When the line was back up, “lets get fit and get darncin” was on the line. Jade picked up and at that moment you could hear the collective switching off of thousands of radios across the country - not the voice you really wanna hear first thing on a Tuesday morning. Chris chatted briefly to her and she said that only her and Craig had got up to go and answer the call, with her getting there first. She said she was OK after her blackout and time in hospital the other day, but still wanted to know more stuff from the outside world. Chris helpfully told her that the weather was cold and that its been snowing on and off. I think she was hoping for something a little better to be honest. Technically Jade answering the call now means that the show is backing her to win the series, but Chris was his two faced self after she’d gone and said he was actually supporting his mate Craig to win. Dave and Rachel said he couldn’t do that but he said it was his show and he can do what he wants.
MINOGUE AND MOYLES:
Before she arrived in the studio around ten past 8, Chris set the team some basic rules as regards Kylie. Rachel wasn’t allowed to speak to her, Jules wasn’t allowed to look her in the eye and Dominic couldn’t look at her at all (cos Chris said he’d start undressing her with his eyes)...
Dom - So it’s the same rules for Kylie as it is for Dale Winton then?
Chris - Yep
After a dodgy start, the interview picked up a lot and she seemed to really enjoy herself on the show. Chris asked if she ever looks rough. She said yes but Chris said in his eyes she was always pretty. A line almost off the top of the cheese and kiss ass scales but as it was Kylie, Chris can be forgiven for trying. She replied by saying he was a charmer and always looked ravishing...
Chris - I’ve told you, I’ve got a girlfriend love. Just leave it alright?
Kylie - Look don’t crush me a second time
Dave (quickly butting in before Chris) - He would crush you as well
Chris - Shut up
Kylie was referring to the time a couple of years back when she arranged to meet Chris in London for drinks after being on the show, but he stood her up. He said he was washing his hair but Dave said he was just terrified. Red Blooded Woman is Kylie’s new single (much better than Slow) and it’s in the shops now. She is challenging her fellow Antipodean Mr Peter Andre for top spot on Sunday and Chris urged people to buy a copy of her single for everyone they know. By the chart figures so far it looks like she needs it. Toxic by Britney is heading for position numero uno with Kylie going in at number 4 or 5 at the moment (see Ananova story). Red Blooded Woman is Kylie single number 39 and Chris said his favourite of all 39 is still Locomotion (a favourite at Daves wedding disco last year). Daves favourite is Did It Again and Chris said he also likes the rap in Shocked as he used to mix it in to other songs at Radio Top Shop in Leeds (Dave said too much info). Kylie said hello to Chris’s mum and to Paul Robinson at Leeds who he told her was a big fan. Chris asked her if she wouldn’t mind buying Leeds actually and she said she’d think about it (well it’s the best offer they’ve had so far).
LISTENER QUESTIONS:
Chris asked Kylie a selection of listener questions posted last week on Radio 1 Online, read out by a man from Radio 4. The subjects covered included her favourite Chuckle brother (she shockingly hadn’t heard of them), the availability of tangerines, Parky or Moyles (she said Moyles) and whether or not she wears the underwear from her LK range. That LK stands for Love Kylie by the way, not Lorraine Kelly as Dave had suggested. Chris said he had one more question for her and played out a letter of complaint about the show, while he pretended to have pressed the wrong button. It went “Dear BBC, why oh why do you allow that loudmouth yob to pollute the airwaves of the BBC. Chris Moyles and his band of sycophantic laugh at anything cronies simply show that the BBC are dumbing down and broadcasting for the lowest common denominator these days”. Dave said he didn’t know how that one had slipped through. Kylie was drinking her coffee this morning from a limited edition, Chris Moyles Show Superhero mug. She said he was the perfect double for Superman, although Dave thought he was more Super Mario. Chris did the pose from the cup for her and he said to Dave afterwards that she was loving it. Dave responded by saying “You could cut the sexual chemistry with a...fork”. Dominic stalker boy Byrne had taken Kylie’s cup of unfinished coffee upon her departure and drank from the other side of it. He only did it so that he can now say him and Kylie shared a coffee. Chris found this slightly disturbing and Dom said he was going to flog the cup on eBay afterwards. He didn’t however know that Kylie was still in the building doing an interview for Entertainment news at the time and he nearly had a heart attack when he found out. After first slating Dom for his stalker like tendencies, Chris was reminded via a text from Sophie that he has a signed Johnny Rotten t-shirt that Johnny blew his nose in to at home - and a packet of Noel’s B & H. Chris meant Noel Gallagher although Dave got momentarily confused and thought he was talking about Noel Edmonds.
THE RETURN OF MOPED:>>>Direct from Battenberg Germany (via St Helens), the most popular Scooter tribute act in the UK were back with a fantastic new single at 9:30 today. It’s a remix of Dancing Queen by Abba, of course starring the legend that is MC LMNOP and more genius lyrics such as “You’re twisting my lemons man”. Get more on the Moped website at http://www.moped.org.uk. Just before playing this Chris said hello to all the local radio DJ’s driving in to work today, getting ready to do their top ten at tens. Dave predicted todays years would be 91 and 84, although that depended on the stations demographic. After Chris cut off Dom’s song yesterday, slap head Byrne was once again fooled in to singing just before ten o’clock today...yet again sounded surprised when Chris said there wasn’t enough time (this could potentially run for weeks).
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
KARL in a tower crane cab overlooking Lincoln City Centre 2
ADAM a sales rep from Birmingham 1
Daves Tedious Link
Oasis Live Forever - Somebody that lives forever could be described as being eternal - Eternal are the band that launched the beautiful Louise - Louise is married to Jamie Redknapp - Jamie Redknapp shares the same surname as Harry Redknapp - Harry Redknapp is the manager of Portsmouth - Portsmouth is on the south coast - If you add an “e” and an “r” to the word coast you get coaster, which is what you put your drink on to stop it marking the table - The plural of table is tables - Tables need chairs - Chairs have legs, as do lions - A group of lions is called a pride - Pride (In The Name Of Love) was a big hit for U2 in 1984, the same year that the Christmas charts were topped by Band Aid - A Band Aid is the American term for a plaster - A plaster cast is what you put on a broken leg - and if your leg was broken properly, the plaster cast would allow the bone to heal and enable the two broken bits to fuse together and become once again Connected - Which links us to The Stereo MC’s and Connected
(Middle pic left to right - Dom, Juliette, Aled, Kylie, Dave, Chris and Rachel. If you’re very sad you can download the pic of Kylie and the team as wallpaper at Radio 1 ONLINE).
1. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 3. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 4. Keane - Somewhere Only We Know, 5. BUZZ OFF - The Bloodhound Gang - The Bad Touch, 6. Wayne Wonder - No Letting Go 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. U2 - Beautiful Day, 8. Jamelia - Thank You, 9. Ferry Corsten - Rock Your Body Rock 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Moby - Natural Blues, 11. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling, 12. Kylie Minogue - Red Blooded Woman 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 14. DJ Sammy feat Yanou & Do - Heaven, 15. Stereo MC’s - Connected (Tedious Link), 16. Britney Spears - Toxic, 17. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 18. Pink - God Is A DJ, 19. Outkast - The Way You Move, 20. Enrique Iglesias feat Kelis - Not In Love 9:30 NEWSBEAT 21. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 22. Feeder - Just The Way I’m Feeling, 23. Eminem - Without Me
Chris - I like to fight the criticisms of Radio 1 when they say that the BBC is dumbing down and being a bit too coarse...so it’s nice to hear Nemone at quarter to seven in the morning talking about getting sick
Dave - Why is she gonna be sick? I must have been in the lavatory at that point
Chris (laughs) - There you go...again the critics haven’t a leg to stand on..
The bad weather is starting to get on Chris’s thrupny bits so at the start of todays show, Dave and him devised a plan on how to bring good weather to the people of the UK. Dave said the technology must now exist for somebody to be able to tow Britain to the Mediterranean and park it up next to Ibiza. Chris said that we should build massive skyscrapers with huge fans on them, so that they will blow away all the clouds. He also said that we should all storm the south of France and boot the froggies out to Switzerland while we stay there. Dave said “bring back colonialism”. Rachel found it funny that Chris and Dave were genuinely getting excited about the prospect of this happening. Aled celebrated St David’s Day evening in the traditional manner last night...by watching 5 editions of 24 back to back. Chris was tuned in to the local BBC Wales news via his Sky red button, flicking between both that and all the John Charles stuff over on Look North with Harry Gration. Buzz Off today was The Bad Touch by The Bloodhound Gang (the song with them dressed as monkeys in the video). It reached number 4 in April 2000 and Chris was playing it from his Top Of The Pops 2000 Volume 2 CD. Rach buzzed first on 17 seconds, Dave was next on 3:06, Aled third on 3:08 and the listeners got rid of it shortly afterwards on 3:14. Yesterday on the show, twin sisters Karen and Sharon Savage from Widnes won the chance to come in and meet Kylie. Before they arrived the team (apart from Rach who wouldn’t take part) were all placing bets in a Banzai stylee on whether or not the twins would be hot. Everyone said hot apart from Chris who said they would probably be dogs. This subject was never raised again after their arrival...just make of that what you will. *cough* munters *cough*
(The twins and Kylie - she’s the one in the middle in case you are wondering)
MOYLES GOES BACK TO REALITY:
Roughly 30 minutes after dismissing the wacky radio DJ “wakey wakey get out of bed” thing as not suiting their style, Chris and Dave had some very special people to wake up at exactly 7:45 this morning. Yes, they were waking up the remaining “celebrities” in the Back To Reality house. Chris stopped the music and turned up the echo, first making spooky noises then calling one by one for everyone to get out of bed. He talked about each of the remaining contestants - Craig with his muscles, Josie with her hair, Jade with her voice, James with his drink (Dave said his cravate) and Maureen with...erm, good morning Maureen!! Chris said the challenge was for someone to go outside to the phone box, pick up, answer and then chat live on the air to Chris (therefore receiving the shows backing to win Back To Reality). Things didn’t quite go according to plan though and the line rang for 2 minutes with no answer. While they waited Chris chatted to Dave...
Chris - Imagine how irritating...being woken up by me...oh hang on I do wake everyone up every day don’t I?
The phone connection cut off eventually to leave the show in an on air technical crisis. Dave pointed out “one of them picking up the phone is crucial to this feature”. After some quick work on the throw a six to start phone system by fingers Rachel (good mornin), the line was back up again. Chris said never mind Weightwatchers, she’d lost half a stone just doing that. He said he’d never seen her move so fast in all his life (Dave said not before last orders anyway). When the line was back up, “lets get fit and get darncin” was on the line. Jade picked up and at that moment you could hear the collective switching off of thousands of radios across the country - not the voice you really wanna hear first thing on a Tuesday morning. Chris chatted briefly to her and she said that only her and Craig had got up to go and answer the call, with her getting there first. She said she was OK after her blackout and time in hospital the other day, but still wanted to know more stuff from the outside world. Chris helpfully told her that the weather was cold and that its been snowing on and off. I think she was hoping for something a little better to be honest. Technically Jade answering the call now means that the show is backing her to win the series, but Chris was his two faced self after she’d gone and said he was actually supporting his mate Craig to win. Dave and Rachel said he couldn’t do that but he said it was his show and he can do what he wants.
MINOGUE AND MOYLES:
Before she arrived in the studio around ten past 8, Chris set the team some basic rules as regards Kylie. Rachel wasn’t allowed to speak to her, Jules wasn’t allowed to look her in the eye and Dominic couldn’t look at her at all (cos Chris said he’d start undressing her with his eyes)...
Dom - So it’s the same rules for Kylie as it is for Dale Winton then?
Chris - Yep
After a dodgy start, the interview picked up a lot and she seemed to really enjoy herself on the show. Chris asked if she ever looks rough. She said yes but Chris said in his eyes she was always pretty. A line almost off the top of the cheese and kiss ass scales but as it was Kylie, Chris can be forgiven for trying. She replied by saying he was a charmer and always looked ravishing...
Chris - I’ve told you, I’ve got a girlfriend love. Just leave it alright?
Kylie - Look don’t crush me a second time
Dave (quickly butting in before Chris) - He would crush you as well
Chris - Shut up
Kylie was referring to the time a couple of years back when she arranged to meet Chris in London for drinks after being on the show, but he stood her up. He said he was washing his hair but Dave said he was just terrified. Red Blooded Woman is Kylie’s new single (much better than Slow) and it’s in the shops now. She is challenging her fellow Antipodean Mr Peter Andre for top spot on Sunday and Chris urged people to buy a copy of her single for everyone they know. By the chart figures so far it looks like she needs it. Toxic by Britney is heading for position numero uno with Kylie going in at number 4 or 5 at the moment (see Ananova story). Red Blooded Woman is Kylie single number 39 and Chris said his favourite of all 39 is still Locomotion (a favourite at Daves wedding disco last year). Daves favourite is Did It Again and Chris said he also likes the rap in Shocked as he used to mix it in to other songs at Radio Top Shop in Leeds (Dave said too much info). Kylie said hello to Chris’s mum and to Paul Robinson at Leeds who he told her was a big fan. Chris asked her if she wouldn’t mind buying Leeds actually and she said she’d think about it (well it’s the best offer they’ve had so far).
LISTENER QUESTIONS:
Chris asked Kylie a selection of listener questions posted last week on Radio 1 Online, read out by a man from Radio 4. The subjects covered included her favourite Chuckle brother (she shockingly hadn’t heard of them), the availability of tangerines, Parky or Moyles (she said Moyles) and whether or not she wears the underwear from her LK range. That LK stands for Love Kylie by the way, not Lorraine Kelly as Dave had suggested. Chris said he had one more question for her and played out a letter of complaint about the show, while he pretended to have pressed the wrong button. It went “Dear BBC, why oh why do you allow that loudmouth yob to pollute the airwaves of the BBC. Chris Moyles and his band of sycophantic laugh at anything cronies simply show that the BBC are dumbing down and broadcasting for the lowest common denominator these days”. Dave said he didn’t know how that one had slipped through. Kylie was drinking her coffee this morning from a limited edition, Chris Moyles Show Superhero mug. She said he was the perfect double for Superman, although Dave thought he was more Super Mario. Chris did the pose from the cup for her and he said to Dave afterwards that she was loving it. Dave responded by saying “You could cut the sexual chemistry with a...fork”. Dominic stalker boy Byrne had taken Kylie’s cup of unfinished coffee upon her departure and drank from the other side of it. He only did it so that he can now say him and Kylie shared a coffee. Chris found this slightly disturbing and Dom said he was going to flog the cup on eBay afterwards. He didn’t however know that Kylie was still in the building doing an interview for Entertainment news at the time and he nearly had a heart attack when he found out. After first slating Dom for his stalker like tendencies, Chris was reminded via a text from Sophie that he has a signed Johnny Rotten t-shirt that Johnny blew his nose in to at home - and a packet of Noel’s B & H. Chris meant Noel Gallagher although Dave got momentarily confused and thought he was talking about Noel Edmonds.
THE RETURN OF MOPED:>>>Direct from Battenberg Germany (via St Helens), the most popular Scooter tribute act in the UK were back with a fantastic new single at 9:30 today. It’s a remix of Dancing Queen by Abba, of course starring the legend that is MC LMNOP and more genius lyrics such as “You’re twisting my lemons man”. Get more on the Moped website at http://www.moped.org.uk. Just before playing this Chris said hello to all the local radio DJ’s driving in to work today, getting ready to do their top ten at tens. Dave predicted todays years would be 91 and 84, although that depended on the stations demographic. After Chris cut off Dom’s song yesterday, slap head Byrne was once again fooled in to singing just before ten o’clock today...yet again sounded surprised when Chris said there wasn’t enough time (this could potentially run for weeks).
CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
KARL in a tower crane cab overlooking Lincoln City Centre 2
ADAM a sales rep from Birmingham 1
Daves Tedious Link
Oasis Live Forever - Somebody that lives forever could be described as being eternal - Eternal are the band that launched the beautiful Louise - Louise is married to Jamie Redknapp - Jamie Redknapp shares the same surname as Harry Redknapp - Harry Redknapp is the manager of Portsmouth - Portsmouth is on the south coast - If you add an “e” and an “r” to the word coast you get coaster, which is what you put your drink on to stop it marking the table - The plural of table is tables - Tables need chairs - Chairs have legs, as do lions - A group of lions is called a pride - Pride (In The Name Of Love) was a big hit for U2 in 1984, the same year that the Christmas charts were topped by Band Aid - A Band Aid is the American term for a plaster - A plaster cast is what you put on a broken leg - and if your leg was broken properly, the plaster cast would allow the bone to heal and enable the two broken bits to fuse together and become once again Connected - Which links us to The Stereo MC’s and Connected
