The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241850
1. Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 3. Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This, 4. Stereophonics - Movie Star, 5. BUZZ OFF - Apache Indian - Boom Shack A Lak, 6. Eminem - Lose Yourself 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Fortune Faded, 8. Big Brovaz - Nu Flow, 9. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Pink - God Is A DJ, 11. Jakatta - American Dream, 12. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 13. Bros - I Owe You Nothing, 14. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body, 16. Lostprophets - Last Train Home, 17. Ferry Corsten - Rock Your Body Rock, 18. Sugababes - Round Round, 19. Michael Jackson - Black Or White (Tedious Link), 20. Nelly Furtado - Powerless, 21. Outkast - Hey Ya, 22. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy, 23. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. The Strokes - Reptilia, 25. Cam'ron - Hey Ma, 26. Motorcycle - As The Rush Comes

After Friday’s excursion to Newcastle, the show was back live from London today. The whole team stayed over in the Toon on Friday night, got trolleyed and played pool. Chris went shopping on Friday afternoon and kept getting stopped by people asking what he was doing in Newcastle (the new show is obviously doing well there then). Dave said it had been nice just to get out of London and thanked everyone for the lovely welcome. Dave’s favourite moment from their time on the Tyne was on Friday night when Dom was parading his pub tricks. It involved him flicking and catching numerous beermats. Once he started to showboat though, it all went pear shaped. With his right hand Dom managed to knock over his bottle of beer, which trickled all the way down the table....right into Dave Pearce’s crotch. Pearce had only just walked in for a little drink before his gig at Foundation, when he was trudging back to the hotel to change his pants - all thanks to Dominic. Juliette was hammered aswell and apparently being so lovely to Aled that he was slightly concerned by it. Dave said he’d never seen Aled look so scared in all his life. Chris said that Aled “owed” the team a moonwalk from Friday night in Stereo Bar in Newcastle. Rachel said she’d had her own “private dance” from him. The perfect opportunity for Aled to show off his moves would have been during Tedious Link (Michael Jackson - Black Or White) but Chris had obviously forgot. Chris showed Dom and Rachel pictures taken of them in their slightly inebriated states on Friday night. On Saturday Chris went down to Leeds to watch them get tonked 3-0 by Middlesbrough (how he avoided mentioning this god only knows). He spent the weekend at home and went through his old CD collection in his bedroom in search of Buzz Off tracks. He spent an hour and a half going through them all and said he found so many great tracks, including five to be used for this week’s Buzz Off tunes. Dave was less than impressed with today’s - Boom Shack A Lak by Apache Indian from 1993. Rach buzzed on 24 secs and Dave followed on 42. The listeners were loving it and according to Aled the song was “strangely hitting his spot” this morning. He buzzed with 8 seconds left but 2000 texts hadn’t come in so the song was played in full. Chris’s mate Rossy from Radio Aire in Leeds (Chris wouldn’t say his name again) told him off at the weekend for running behind with Buzz Off, as it ruins the time he gets into the shower each day. Chris promised that as of today, Buzz off will be at bang on 7:20 each morning.

WES PENK CHART CHAT:
Chris and Wes didn’t meet up again for a drink last week. Wes said they did (at the DJ Dinner). Chris said Wes was well and truly bladdered but he denied it. Wes said he could only make Thursday this week, the one day Chris can’t. Tomorrow Wes is a guest on Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Chris wished him good luck but reminded him that however bad he is, he won’t even be close to Chris’s infamous performance on there. This being the performance that sowed the seed for Mark Lamarr’s hatred of Moyles (Chris told Wes he hardly said anything. Wes said he knew as he’d seen the tape). The show featuring Wes will go out next Monday (Feb 9th) on BBC2 at 9pm. Yet again not a lot was happening in the charts. God Is A DJ by Pink (which Chris has been raving about the last few weeks) limped in at a disappointing No.11. Chris said it is a great record and should have charted much higher....
Wes - Of course your big showbiz mates with her now aren’t you?
Chris - She’s my buddy, what can I tell ya......you know why?
Wes - Why?
Chris - She’s after a piece of me, that’s why...
Wes - Well there’s plenty to go round
Chris - Shut your face you bitch
Wes was sounding pretty rough today. His excuse was that he was out last night and was only just getting out of bed when they called him. While searching through his record collection in Leeds over the weekend, Chris found a record that he said would create a chain reaction of musical memories in Comedy Dave’s head. He played clips of it while talking to Wes. It was Twenty 4 Seven featuring Captain Hollywood’s number 7 smash “I Can’t Stand It” from September 1990. Wes said he remembered it vaguely but despite this seemed to have a very detailed knowledge of Twenty 4 Seven’s chart career. He couldn’t find anything about their album “Street Moves” however. Chris found out that Wes was on the net, cheating. Dave said Wes’s keyboard sounded like a cat drinking milk. Oh and at the end of all that Chris played the UK’s New Official No.1 from LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above....Rock a loola.

Chris talked about “Breast-Gate” at last night’s Super Bowl in Houston. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson were performing a half-time duet when Justin decided to rip off the right side of her top and expose her right breast to the hundreds of millions watching across the world. Chris said he really wanted to see the clip to decide for himself whether it was a fake or not (the stunt, not the breast you understand). Of the story, Dave said “I’m Lovin It”. Having heard all about it in Newsbeat (it was getting more coverage than the George Bush weapons fiasco - Dave said “Bush overshadowed by breast”), Chris saw the video and said it was definitely a fake. Two reasons - the lack of shock on her face and the fact that it was at the point Justin sang ‘I’m Gonna Have You Naked By The End Of This Song”. Chris said the Americans were always trying to go one better than us, we had Richard and Judy at the TV Awards and they have Justin & Janet at The SuperBowl. Chris said it was without a doubt the best publicity that Janet has had in years though. If you want to see the picture in question then follow this link to the BBC Sport Website and click on pic 6 out of 8. On a similar theme, there was a new spoof ad on today’s show for “Knocker Blocker”, the new product to keep “your baps under wraps” in the summer heat. Chris and Dave both watched I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here last night. They took the piss out of Peter Andre, his singing, his accent....in fact pretty much everything to do with him. Chris said he has to stay in though as he is quality entertainment. Both Dave and Chris are still waiting for John Lydon to erupt and have a go at Andre. Tonight’s first eviction is Diane Modahl vs Mike Read. The Moyles Show is supposedly supporting Mike to win (or at least that’s what Dom told him when he interviewed him prior to series). Therefore Chris said he must stay tonight. There was a clip of Claudio Ranieri in the sports news today, cue a really bad (but funny) impression by Chris, sounding more like a Mexican. Dave said hello to all the Mexicans listening to the show online. Chris was watching the Arsenal - Man City match yesterday. He found it funny that when Arsenal’s new Spanish signing Jose Antonio Reyes came on, the camera cut to four fans in the crowd wearing sombreros and eating paella (that second bit was a lie). Dave said they were just trying to make Jose feel at home at Highbury. Chris talked about the crackin goal from Thierry Henry yesterday. There was a clip of Arsene Wenger in the sports news saying (yet again) that he “didn’t see” the scuffle at the end of the game involving Anelka, Ashley Cole and Edu. Chris said Stevie Wonder has better eyesight than Arsene and offered to set up an account for him at Specsavers. This week is Radio 1’s “Best Of New British Music Week” (snappy title). In a comedy One Life “What’s that number again Chris” stylee, Chris and Dave ran through the details on all 11 of the UK bands/artists Radio 1 will be showcasing throughout this week. Chris concentrated in particular on Franz Ferdinand. Dave ran through their biography on Radio 1 Online while Chris asked questions leading into his “well it’s funny you should ask that Chris” answers. At the end Chris asked Dave if he wanted to hear their record and started the intro to Take Me Out....
Chris - I thought we sold that quite well
Dave - Do you think so?
Chris - Yeah...I thought it was nice and informative without being patronising and stupid
(Dave laughs)
(Chris and Dave did the same kind of link again for Joss Stone an hour later)
Full details - http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onemusic/br ... _lat_title
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GETTING BROS BACK IN THE CHARTS - MOYLES CAMPAIGN 2004:
While checking through his CD’s in Leeds over the weekend, it dawned on Chris that certain ex-Radio 1 Breakfast DJ’s have used the show’s power and popularity to champion certain records or even get old ones re-released and back in the charts. Chris (surprise surprise) was keen to jump on the ego bandwagon and wanted to get a “classic” song re-released and back in the popular hit parade. Don’t get too excited though, as it was I Owe You Nothing by Bros. Chris wanted to bring back a Bros hit for a new generation. Chris wanted to know whether people for a laugh would buy the song if it got re-released, in an attempt to get it into the Top 40. Hence text YES or NO to 81199. Andi Peters contacted the show to say that if the nation voted yes and Bros agreed, they would play the video in full on Top Of The Pops one week. This made Chris even more determined for YES to win the vote, so he left the voting open from about 8:20 to the end of the show at 10 o’clock. Over 20,000 texts came in and sadly 70% voted “Yes”. Chris asked everybody working on the show if they would buy it. Aled, Dom, Juliette and Jack Bain (news editor) said Yes. Rachel said maybe and Dave said no. Chris called him a miserable git and said that he would slowly change his mind. Dave was adamant that he wouldn’t.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
NIKKI a support worker with a dodgy laugh from Southampton 2
ALEXA a 6ft 21 year old air stewardess from Bradford 1

(The best Carpark Catchphrase yet. Partly for Chris and Dave’s Avid Merrion “right” impressions, but mainly cos of Chris trying to flirt with Alexa who sounded really fit. She works for Virgin. Chris said he finds their stewardesses the horniest. She works in economy and Chris said that’s probably why she’s never seen him. After saying she was 6ft, Chris asked her if she had long legs. Dave said she obviously would have unless she had a huge trunk. Chris said “She’s not an elephant”. Dave muttered something about a trunk being part of the body. Chris tried to fix the game to make her win but in the end he just asked her for pictures of her in her uniform. She said she still had it on as she’d just got back from Johannesburg. This question sparked off Chris’s latest idea for an award winning breakfast radio feature - a plan to find the fittest air steward and stewardess in the UK. Expect more on this tomorrow morning).

Daves Tedious Link
Chad Jackson Hear The Drummer Get Wicked - Chad Jackson shares the same surname as Colin Jackson the welsh athlete - Athlete had a hit last year with El Salvador - Salvador Dali is a famous painter much like Rolf Harris - Harris is in the Outer Hebrides - The word “Hebrides” shares many of the same letters as the word “Zebedee” who was a character in Rainbow - Rainbow had a top 6 hit with Since You Been Gone in 1979 - the same year that I Will Survive topped the charts for Gloria Gaynor - Gayner Goodman is a legendary artist from the world of Page 3 much like Sam Fox who bizarrely was interviewed about her views on the whole Jordan versus Peter Andre thing last night on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here - I’m A Celebrity is hosted by Ant & Dec who are from Newcastle upon Tyne - It was in Newcastle on Friday that we put Aled into our big truck and gave him the task of spreading the word of Moyles on a sightseeing visit around the city - That visit took in The Tyne Bridge, The Newcastle Brown Ale Factory and St James Park with Aled dressed in Newcastle United’s famous black and white - and when you think of the words “Black” and “White” in the context of early 90’s Michael Jackson songs you think of “Black or White” - Which links us to Michael Jackson and Black Or White

FLAW
* Zebedee was a character in The Magic Roundabout, not Rainbow

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