The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241845
1. The Strokes - 12:51 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above, 3. Robbie Williams - Rock DJ, 4. Jamelia - Thank You, 5. BUZZ OFF - Squeeze - Cool For Cats, 6. The White Stripes - 7 Nation Army 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Divine Inspiration - The Way, 8. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy, 9. MOYLES - Michelle All This Time Parody, 10. Beyonce Knowles feat Jay-Z - Crazy In Love 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Stereophonics - Have A Nice Day, 12. Pink - God Is A DJ, 13. Muse - Hysteria, 14. Sugababes - Overload 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Eminem - The Real Slim Shady, 16. Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, 17. Room 5 feat Oliver Cheatham - Make Luv, 18. Red Hot Chili Peppers - The Zephyr Song, 19. Madonna - Like A Prayer (Tedious Link), 20. Outkast - Hey Ya, 21. Scissor Sisters - Comfortably Numb, 22. Jaimeson feat Angel Blu & CK - Take Control, 23. Pharrell Williams feat Jay-Z - Frontin' 9:30 NEWSBEAT 24. Kylie Minogue - Love At First Sight, 25. Motorcycle - As The Rush Comes, 26. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love

Chris watched the greatest sitcom ever made over the weekend.....and it wasn’t Fawlty Towers. Nope, it was the genius new BBC series Mad About Alice which “stars” Amanda Holden and Jamie Theakston. Although the show was infact crap itself, what really took the biscuit was it’s god awful theme tune which features both Holden and Theakston showing off their clear (lack of) vocal talents. Dave said that “people who can’t sing shouldn’t expose their inadequacies”. Nevertheless, himself and head of news for the morning Toby Sealey were jigging along to it in no time. On the one hand Chris said to Rachel (who used to produce Theakston’s R1 show) that they should be there to support and stick up for their friend in his hours of need. On the other though, Chris wanted to know who the hell had commissioned this rubbish. Chris blamed the script not the actors and played audio from the show, leaving gaps for Rachel (who hadn’t watched it) to fill in the obvious punchlines. Dave said Amanda Holden looked pretty good in her pants though. Chris disagreed as he said her face was still there. During the 7am sports news this morning, Rachel revealed (via a piece of paper to Chris) that she’s now backing Liverpool to win the FA Cup. Dominic “the Liverpool fan” Bryne agreed, although Dave said that he was a part-time supporter and he didn’t deny it. In breakfast team football over the weekend, Dave’s Everton drew 1-1 with Fulham in the Cup, Aled’s Aberystwyth won 2-1 against Connah’s Quay and in Div 3 Rachel’s Kiddy Harriers drew 0-0 against the mighty Bury on Saturday (it was dull, although they should have lost 2-0 but we can’t score to save our lives at the mo). Buzz Off was back at 7:20 with Chris picking a record he called “ground breaking”, although Dave more accurately referred to it as “Overrated * tosh”. It was Cool For Cats by Squeeze (1979). It only lasted for 1 min 28. before being buzzed off finally by the listeners. Dave was first on 9 seconds, Aled second on 11 and Rachel third on 31.

CHART CHAT WITH WES:
A bored Wes phoned up Chris on Saturday night at 9:30 asking if he wanted to go out for a drink. Chris was out with Sophie so couldn’t meet up, but said they were even now as Wes blew him out last Wednesday, when they were meant to meet up for a few pints. Wes rang to apologise as he was covering overnights for Vicky Marsden, but Chris was busy surfing for porn on the net and had forgotten anyway. They’ll both be out tomorrow night in any case as it’s DJ Dinner night. Chris is not too pleased about the fact that he’ll have to leave early to do the breakfast show, whereas in the past he could laugh at Coxy and Scott Mills trudging off early to bed while he was busy getting totally bladdered. As for the week’s chart, the only things of note are Outkast climbing back up 5 places to no.4 (Chris said he could take credit for that as it’s used on his TV ad) and the fact that Michelle is number one for week number 3 with All This Time. Chris went off on a sarcastic rant saying he hates all fat people unless they have some kind of medical condition, as ”It’s offensive to all those thin people like myself”. Lee in London texted in complaining that there are serious weight problems in this country and Chris isn’t helping. Some idiots just don’t get it. (Chris tried to make Wes sing the top ten again BTW but he refused after his miserable efforts last week were stuck all over the trails).

I’M NOT A CELEBRITY...GET ME IN HERE: - INTERVIEWS
Ahead of the big launch tonight, Dominic has been given fantastic support by the “I’m A Celebrity..” PR company who managed to secure him exclusive interviews with a huge TWO of the ten contestants taking part (8 less than he was promised). They were Neil Razor Ruddock and ex Radio 1 breakfast DJ Mike Read. He asked them both what Jordan was like. Mike said she’s been letting them all cop a right good feel but Razor was a bit more diplomatic saying she’s a nice girl at heart etc. Razor said he is not as tough as he makes out and he’ll get found out with all the creepy crawlies in the jungle. Chris has interviewed both Razor and Mike before, Neil on The Big Breakfast and Mike on his and Daves infamous UK Play show. In a BB Aled “we’ve supported you all the way” stylee, Dom licked up to them both and said Radio 1 was backing them both to win. Mike said he hoped to live up to Radio 1 expectations. Dom asked him if he had any advice for Chris about the Radio 1 Breakfast Show. He said that Chris was doing a good job from what he’d heard, advised him to go to bed late and get up late (not great advice surely) and also told Chris to hang on in there.
Dave - It’s also reassuring to know that after 3 weeks of doing this show he wants us to “hang on in there”.....
On the back of the Mike Read interview, Dom and Rachel devised a game called “The Mike Reid Jungle Game”, basically the erm game but with the word “jungle” replacing the erm. Some 18 year old caller called Sarah was bumbled onto the air at last notice and correctly guessed Mike said jungle six times in a 37 second reply. Chris was going to give her a CD as a prize, that is until she asked for a Michelle McManus CD. Dom said she could have a Newsbeat pen if she wanted (they don’t really exist - it’s just a cheap Radio 1 sticker on a biro).

CHRIS MOYLES BILLBOARD SHEET GIVEAWAY:
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The new Radio 1 Chris Moyles billboards and posters are now up across the UK, with 8500 of them now up according to Aled, proclaiming Chris as the saviour of breakfast radio. The campaign didn’t start today though as Chris said, as I saw 2 on Friday and 2 more over the weekend. According to the poll running here on the R1 website I’m in the minority though. Chris is giving all the people who have seen them the chance to win a part of a Moyles billboard. So if you’ve always wanted a part of Chris’s face, eyes, hair or even better just a piece of grey billboard on your wall, then follow the instructions listed here.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
HELEN a 27 year old divorced beautician from Rugby 2
MARCUS a plumber from Yeovil 1

Daves Tedious Link (Only one today after all - decided by exec producer Joe & Rach)
Texas Say What You Want - Texas is known as the Lone Star State - A lone star in the night sky is what the three wise men used for the purposes of navigation - Navigation is essentially the process of finding your way from A to B - A and B are followed by C - Sea going vessels are often fitted with radar - The word “radar” is a palindrome much like the words Abba, Aha, Boob, Racecar and Kayak - A kayak is a type of native American canoe - Kanu first name Nwankwo plays for Arsenal - Arsenal are managed by Arsene Wenger who is a Frenchman and in that respect shares something in common with Louis Pasteur the man who invented and gave his name to pasteurised milk - Milk comes from a cow - The cow jumped over the moon - Moon first name Alfie is the name of the EastEnders character that is played by actor Shane Ritchie - Shane Richie shares the same phonetic surname (different spelling, same pronunciation) as Guy Ritchie the flat cap wearing * film director - and Guy Ritchie is married to Madonna - which links us to Madonna and Like A Prayer

Sat and today are up