[Gigglyboots]

Q: What have a Jaffa cake and Bargain Hunt got in common?

A: That smashing orangey bit in the middle : )

(nicked it off the scary Bargain Hunt Forum, *cringe*)

Anyone else have any decent jokes, I need a giggle

[David]

A ship carrying blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint. The crew are believed to be marooned.

[Gigglyboots]

Heehee, anybody else got one?

[David]

What happens when you illegally park a frog? It gets toad away.

[David]

Two brunettes and a blonde just broke out of jail, while running form the police they run into an old barn to hide. The first brunette hid up in the loft, the second brunette hid in the stalls, and the blonde hid in a potato sack. The police ran in. One cop ran up to the loft and the brunette says, 'meowwwww'. 'Nothing but a little cat up here' says the cop. 'Okay, let's go check the stalls' So the other brunette says 'moooooooooo'. 'Oh, nothing here but a cow'. 'okay, lets go check over there by that potato sack' so they go over there and the blonde says 'potatoooo'

or there is this classic:

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted: I am Napoleon! Another one said: How do you know? The first inmate said: God told me! A voice from another room shouted: I did NOT!

[Gigglyboots]

Noooo, not blonde jokes! lol. I liked the second one though!

[Funky Drummer]

Did you hear about the shipment of viagra that sank? Ah well, at least it raised the titanic.

[Morals]

I have possibly the worst joke ever told:

My dog, 'Minton', ate a shuttlecock the other day. I said "Bad Minton..."

(Sorry).

Here's a better one.

A bloke goes to the pub and grabs a seat at the bar. He notices the guy sat next to him has a large dog sitting at his feet. "Does your dog bite?" asks the first guy. "Nope" says the second guy. Anyway, the first guy bends down to stroke the dog and the dog sinks its teeth into his arm and starts mauling him. "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite" screams the bloke. The second guy turns to him and says "That's not my dog".

[Guest]

Cool, keep them coming. Its a horrible rainy depressive day here in Shetland and I need some cheeriness!

[Gigglyboots]

Duh! I forgot to log in before I sent that.

[kendra k]

here's a sorta music geeky one-

why don't indie boys ever get laid?

because they're always talking about 7" they don't have. badumpun

[Gigglyboots]

lol

So my original joke was pretty sad! Please everyone more jokes! Yay

[LE_VEY]

how do u flood an irish submarine? knock on the door

[LE_VEY]

oh i love jokes.....can we please do some blonde jokes??? theyre good! eg. what do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? artificial intelligance

[Funky Drummer]

ive got a poster "101 blonde jokes" its great

[LE_VEY]

quality!!!

[Alex Farrell]

A bar says above the door 'free beer', so a man walks in and asks for a free pint but the barman says: 'firstly you have to complete 3 challenges in order' These challenges are downing a pint of tequila, then pulling a sore tooth out of an alligator thats outside, then giving a woman her first orgasm upstairs. At first the man decides not to but after a few pints he says 'go on then', he downs the tequila then legs it outside to the alligator. It goes quiet for a second but then theres a load of banging and thumping, the man staggers back into the pub with all of his clothes torn, he then asks the barman, 'Wheres the woman with the sore tooth?'

[bob_fleming]

What is the difference between Israeli soldiers and dwight yorke?
The Israeli soldiers new when to pull out of Jordan

[Alex Farrell]

LOL!!
Heres another.....
DNA - the National Dyslexia Association

[Funky Drummer]

A guy goes into a pub and he sees a man sitting all by himself, so goes over to chat to him.

"Can I buy you a drink, mate?" he says.

"Yeah, sure, I'll have a pint of magic beer please."

"Magic beer? Never head of the stuff. What's magic about it?"

"Well, when you drink a pint of magic beer, it gives you the power to fly. Go on, buy me one and I'll show you."

So, the guy orders hima pint of magic beer and, just as he said, he ran straight out the open window, flew around in a circle and flew back in."

"Wow!" says the guy, "that's amazing! Barman! Give me a pint of that magic beer!"

The barman brings a pint, the guy downs it, runs straight out of the window and SPLAT, hits the floor with a huge thud.

"You're such a bastard when you're pissed superman," says the barman.

[Morals]

The most geeky joke ever told:

Why do computer programmers get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

I'm really very, very sorry.

[Funky Drummer]

err...anyone care to explain? (I guess this means I'm not a geek then?)

[Morals]

It's to do with arithmetic in different bases. 25 in Decimal (Base 10) is equal to 31 in Octal (Base 8). This is because 25 in Decimal represents 2 tens and 5 ones, whereas in Octal 31 represents 3 eights and 1 one.

[Funky Drummer]

okay, gotcha

[Gigglyboots]

Gosh I hate that poster with all the blonde jokes, cos I am one!!! Don't start with them, pleeeeeassssse! More jokes more jokes!