[Loudmouthed_Cutie]

Sylvester never got Tweetie, Yud Suds! He came mighty close many times, but that crazy old woman was always on hand with her rolling pin tucked away somewhere close by!

Its like Coyote and Roadrunner. There was always a little glimmer of hope for the poor coyote, but week on week, he got blown up, run over by a train or had a rock land on him. That was before he fell off the top of the cliff.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee splat!!!

why does he buy acme products even though they always fail..

[Yudster]

Same reason Mr Yudster always insists on Sony I reckon.

[foot-loose]

I dunno - a brand image?

Did you see the film Back in Action? The film was crap but when Coyote bought something off the ACME website and asked for instant delivery, that bit cracked me up!

[Ballbag]

* SWAN UPDATE *

Just popped out for lunch, went for a stroll down by the river, and swan 3 is still being forced into exile by swans 1 and 2. It's just not fair, the poor little man.

[Yudster]

Its perfectly fair. Leave them to it Baggie, they don't organise their lives in the same way as you do.......

[Ballbag]

Well I've been reading up on it, and it says that swans rarely split from their partners throughout their lives, so unles swan 2 dies, or another swan joins the gang, swan 3 will have a lifetime of watching swan 1 and 2 together.

I was thinking of making swan 3 a "prop" swan, you know kind of like a blow up doll swan, perhaps have it remote controlled in order to make it more realistic. Just something to keep him company.

[Yudster]

Swan 3 will find someswan, don't worry. They also don't tend to pair up until they are three years old, sometimes more - so probably Swan 3 is a youngster who just hasn't managed to get it on yet. He will.

Maybe you and Mrs Ballbags need to discuss what looks to me like the appearance of latent parenting instincts....perhaps its time!

[Ballbag]

No, when it's time for me there will be a sign from the heavans, and you all shall see it. For the Lord will have decided that I need to breed.

[Yudster]

Well, the Lord might not have sent you a helicop[ter, or a boat - but he has sent a swan. Think about it.

[Ballbag]

Perhaps you're right, I must call up Mrs Ballbag right now and let her know.


* dials number * ring ring.......... ring ring.......... ring ring.

"Hello reception"

"Yes this is Mr Ballbag here, is my wife around"

"I'm afraid she's in a meeting right now"

"Well go in and get her, inform her to meet me at home post-haste for some copulation, for the Lord has sent me swan 3"

"Right away Mr Ballbag" *runs to meeting room* knock knock

"Mrs Ballbag, I've just had your husband on the line, he says the Lord has sent you swan 3, and that you most return home post-haste for copulation".

"FINALLY......... sorry everyone, we'll have to continue this in, er lets say.... 25 minutes...... I only live ten minutes away"

[Yudster]

Impregnation, not merely copulation.

[Ballbag]

Swan-log update.

It appears swan 3 has had enough, for the last two days he's nowhere to be seen. He's either given up the ghost and flewn to pastures new in a hope that he may find swan 4, and form a life-long bond, or he could have possibly been swept down stream in the current of his own gloom, and come a cropper in a lock.

Wherever he is, I wish him all the best *sniff* and hope he finds what he's looking for.

[Yudster]

He will Baggie, but if, as I suspect, he is a youngster, it may not be until next year.....its a lonely adolescence if you're a swan.

[Ballbag]

Perhaps, or maybe in swan terms he's just plain ugly. Us humans probably don't appreciate the traits that swans look for in each other, he might be a proper horror pig in the eyes of the other swans.

Poor little chap......... poor little butt-ugly chap.

[foot-loose]

all together now:

"Theeeeeere once was an ugly duckling with feathers all stubby and brown
And the other birds said in so many words
(quack)
Get out of town
(quack)
Get out,
(quack quack)
get out,
(one or two more quacks, cant remember)
get out of town"

[Ballbag]

......And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack.
In a flurry of eiderdown"


I've still got that song on vinyl.

[Ballbag]

......And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack.
In a flurry of eiderdown"


I've still got that song on vinyl.

[Yudster]

Twice, apparently.

[foot-loose]

......And he went with a quack and a waddle and a quack"

Which is a cracking line! Genius writing!

[DemonHorse]

Twice, apparently.

Apparently it skipped. Vinyl can do that sometimes.

[Zoot]

Twice, apparently.

Apparently it skipped. Vinyl can do that sometimes.

Bub bum clash...

[Vivienne]

Time to swan off.

[Ballbag]

He's back!!! It's been about a month but swan 3 has come back to his hood, he's left swans 1 and 2 to get on with their shinanigens knowing that he doesn't stand a chance with them.

So he's come back home to find him a mate......... I'll keep you posted.

Here is the cheeky little scamp....... excuse the poor quality, it's taken on a phone from a bridge, whilst I tried desperatly not too look like a swan snapping freak.

[foot-loose]

it looks like a white bin bag.

Are you sure you aint just missing him so much, you have made your own swan blue peter style?

[Ballbag]

No that's really him..........he was swimming down the canal looking all grand, and just as I decided to snap him, he hid his head. Probably in shame at still being single.

"Don't photograph me........ I'm ugly....... leave me alone".