[The Cornishman]

It's official:ducks don't like Monster Munch,least not pickled onion flavour. They just looked at it,then looked at me,cleared their collective throats and said in unison:"Er, excuse me.Where's the f**king bread?We didn't fly all the way from Norway to eat monosodium glutamate.What else have you got in that bag?Oh,a cheapo brown loaf from Asda.Right,that'll do. Fire away."

[The Cornishman]

They didn't actually talk,of course.Ducks don't generally converse with cyclists.But I swear a few of them raised their eyebrows and gave me a look not unlike Walter Matthau in the last shot of "The Taking Of Pelham 123".

[The Cornishman]

It was and it is harsh to live but i give mathematics and sciences private lessons to motivate myself and the results are great.The dyslexics are subtils and have a complete memory.It's realy pleasant to teach and learn with young dicklexics.The contact with the parents are not always easy but there is a child who suffers in everyone.Thanks reading me. Good way with yourself."

[The Cornishman]

All of which naturally leads me to announce that I'm now hijacking this thread. More instructions later. And no funny business.

[Gigglyboots]

Heehee, another class Cornishman topic! You have a wicked sense of humour Cornish!

[The Cornishman]

Right,I want a Waitrose carrier bag filled with wild bird seed.It's got to be a Waitrose bag or calmer police will be asked why he has an aversion to capital letters.And then things could get nasty.

[The Cornishman]

My sister has a problem.It started when she was maybe 10 years old. Whenever someone smacks their lips or slurps when eating it just really bothers her,so much so that we haven't all eaten at the family table for three years now.When on trips and we have to eat in the car,she must have headphones in order to tolerate everyone eating.No one in the family can chew gum or have any hard candy as the noise really bothers her We initially thought she would grow out of this,but it is instead getting worse. Now she can't hardly be in the room with anyone in the family as even mouth or nose breathing bothers her tremendously.Tonight she broke down crying when I blew my nose"

[magenta]

I so read that last post on the problem page of a magazine somewhere, I swear!

[Tall Pall]

Whats official is this thread blows chunks.

[The Cornishman]

T.P you may say this thread blows chunks but you have made a monumental flaw by posting at 10:20pm on a Friday night-thus proving you have no life.In short- I win.

[LE_VEY]

I have to read ur threads cornishman to remind me of my sanity

[Tall Pall]

After reading this thread, in short I lost.

[KuppanMoyles69]

I had no idea that so many people on this board would have a sence of humor like mine, great thread!

[Jonny Hoare]

Once reading this thread, I found out that a few things in life are precious and therefore vitally important.

This again isn't one of those precious things....