[Vivienne]

Right, I have got one on a slighter bigger scale! Prepare yourself.

A man is lying next to his girlfriend in bed. He says to her, "Would you like some nookie?"
She replies, "No thanks". He says, "Is that your final answer?" "Yes", she states.

He replies, "I'd like to 'phone a friend" (It's based on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

[Yudster]

Christmascrackertastic.

[Vivienne]

no, edit button not broken! Sorry!!

[Ballbag]

Right, I have got one on a slighter bigger scale! Prepare yourself.

A man is lying next to his girlfriend in bed. He says to her, "Would you like some nookie?"
She replies, "No thanks". He says, "Is that your final answer?" "Yes", she states.

He replies, "I'd like to 'phone a friend" (It's based on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"

I'm glad you added that last bit Viv, I really didn't have a clue as to what you were going on about, right up to that point.

However it's still not funny, and doesn't make sense either. The "man" turns from question master to contestant half way through the "gag".

[pjordan2000]

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?

He broke his ankle when he fell in the sink!

[foot-loose]

A baby seal walks into a club...

[pjordan2000]

[Vivienne]

What's dangerous and swings through trees?

Answer: a monkey with a chainsaw.

[foot-loose]

Why is it called "PMT"?




Cause "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.



*heads for the hills*

[Vivienne]

Why do men call women "Birds"?

Answer: because we pick up worms.

[timp]

ewwww Viv! Talking of eww though:

Mummy, Mummy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn't eat?

Shut up and eat your meat loaf.

[Boboff]

Viv, I think you are relatively insane, but your jokes are at least an attempt at humor, so please keep it up.!

[Console]

Why do men call women "Birds"?

Answer: because we pick up worms. :-)

Is that what women do when they can't find a man?

[Johnny Karate]

Why do men call women "Birds"?

Answer: because we pick up worms.

You should wash your hands before eating.

[S4B]

Why is it called "PMT"?




Cause "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.



*heads for the hills*

I think you should go over the hills and keep going, I'll still track you down!

[pjordan2000]

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef...

[Vivienne]

Why do men call women "Birds"?

Answer: because we pick up worms.

Is that what women do when they can't find a man?

who says I can't find a man?

[Zoot]

They say a Woman's work is never done.

Thats probably why they get paid less...

[Vivienne]

Oh zoots!!! We get paid less because we let society get away with it.

Here's another joke: What's blue and runs throo' the jungle?

Answer: An ape in denim.

[foot-loose]

How do monkeys make toast?

They put it under the gorilla!



(well, it made me laugh... not a lot, but a little)

[Vivienne]

It made me laugh.

[foot-loose]

How do monkeys get down the stairs?

They slide down the banana-ster.

[Vivienne]

Seven is an ODD NUMBER.

How do you make it even?

[Ballbag]

Good god no Viv.

[Vivienne]

You make it "even" by taking away the "S".

Here's a dirty joke: A man stands beside a woman at hotel reception. He accidently puts his elbow into her right boob.
"sorry!!", he says.