[The Dude]

After hearing Rhianna's song on Radio 1 for the umpteenth time this afternoon, I thought I'd see if I could write better lyrics that Dave's own self-confessed poor effort. I'll print them here and would appreciate some constructive criticism

She reads the sport
And she's known for a prompt retort
Even at showjumping,
she sets my heart pumping
And whenever she talks so posh,
I think it's a load of tosh
Carrie's a dirty minx
At least that's what Moylesy thinks

Because

[Chorus]: I don't wanna be a fortune teller
or be construed as a Uri Geller
I want to wish her all the best
Take an oath, married life is the biggest test
All of the boys are looking harried
when Carries said she's getting married
I'm gonna go have a pint of Stella
'cos I'm really jealous of Carrie's fella, fella, fella, eh, eh, eh,
Jealous of Carrie's fella, fella, fella, eh, eh, eh, eh.

How the rumours fly!
Our forum should have a spy
Is Carrie leaving us
or plain deceiving us?
Does Moylesy give a toss?
Is he her friend or boss?
I hope she doesn't leave
and make the country grieve

Because

Repeat Chorus

[foot-loose]

haha

that could be worthy of going on air!

[SAV1OUR]

This was my (one-off) attempt

It would make me laugh though if some fella,
that went by the name of will mellor
came into the chrismoyles.net cellar
and reqested the parody for umbrella
then huddled off with a few cans of stella
just like he did in 2 pints and got..err.. leathered

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I still haven't heard that song. This makes me slightly proud.

[MC]

Class. Good work The Dude.

[fish heads]

That is quality. Deserves a mention at least. Better than Dave's version, and that was pretty good

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I just heard the song. Its like Desree for a new generation.

[SCornelius7mufc]

Quality... must be mentioned on air, but does Aled visit here now?

[Vivienne]

He visited quite recently, just after the "figures" went up, I think. At least, that's when I last saw a post from him anyhow.

[Chris4]

Brilliant!, But I Hate the Rihanna version!

[The Dude]

Guys, thanks for the positive comments.

I've thought of recording myself singing it all karaoke-like but I have a voice like a moose farting in the rain, so probably not a good idea. I don't know if it will get a mention on the show but if it doesn't, hey, at least it will make the song a bit more bearable for some of you

[Walter Sobchak]

Just got an MMS sent to me of my missus kissing that Will Mellor!

He's obviously at TruckFest