[The Cornishman]

"...Stephen Fry introduces a new series on ITV.Eight former senior members of the The Royal Staff voluntarily abstain from any sexual activity in the heat of the Australian Rain Forest.In the 'Bushf*cker Trial' They are shown various photographs of Nell Mc Andrew and Tara Palma Tonkinson mud wrestling and sharing clams by the swampside.Who will be the first to crack in (ahem) " I'm A Celibate Equerry Get Me Out Of Here!"

[Mr Dion]

sounds like compulsive viewing...

[The Cornishman]

I can hear the mental gogs turning throughout the board...come on,don't let me down.....
That should of course have read 'cogs' and not 'gogs' but I have left in this newborn word for comic effect.

[Mr Dion]

gogs...werent thay a TV programme a few years ago?

[The Cornishman]

Various bodies of water from around the world are up for draining,the winner being decided by Mr Wogan who- due to a downturn in his fortunes- can only afford a faker hide jacket.
"I'm A Sea Leatherette Terry,Get Me Out Of Here".

[The Cornishman]

Greenpeace protest mannequins are rounded up from petrol station forecourts and used as sex toys by Uri Geller in "I'm a Shell Effigy-Get Me Out Of Here!"

[The Cornishman]

Ten fat men addicted to a stick-like salad veg are stranded on a former Russian space station - the first to lose a stone wins.
"I'm A Celery-Eater....Get Me Down From MIA"!

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

thats Mir which means peace dont'cher'know...

[wannabe_mrs_moyles]

also coming soon to ITV ultimate force eeeeh *excited*

[Jonny Hoare]

Is that some kind of crappy gameshow???

[Uglybob]

no its a crappy Ross Kemp thing